Knowing When to Quit

WELCOME TO SERIES 3! Thanks for being here!

Today we're talking about the dreaded dating apps, the damaging narrative about being single and how we can start to shift it.

Shani Silver is a writer based in New Orleans. She hosts A Single Serving Podcast and is the author of A Single Revolution: Don’t look for a match. Light one. It’s a book that’s changing the narrative around being single, and hopefully helping single women feel better about this incredibly valuable time in our lives.

She says 'I'm not an advocate for singlehood. I’m an advocate for single women FEELING GOOD WHILE SINGLE. There is a difference.'

Shani is also the author of two Substacks! 1982, a healing newsletter for 80s babies, and Hey Shani, a toxic positivity-free advice column from a perpetual re-framer.

It's been an absolute treat to have her on the show. Thank you, Shani!

www.shanisilver.com - visit her to find links to all of her wonderful resources!

@shanisilver on all the socials

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in March 2023

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

Today is a biggie. 

Have you ever changed your life so much that you feel like you're completely starting over again? Today's guest, Rob Grundel has done just that.  After 12 years of living in London and building a life there, Rob said goodbye to the people, communities and projects he'd built and returned to Australia with his family. While in London Rob started the music community Imaginary Millions, ran his leadership coaching consultancy Somekind and was pastor for a small Christian community. He is now living in Australia with his family and is currently a principal at business storytelling community Anecdote.

Shortly after returning home to Oz he also decided to quit the church he was part of. Stripped back from all of his identities, Rob is now asking himself 'who am I now?' And 'is there a way I don't have to identify quite so deeply with the things I create in the future?'

This is an incredibly powerful episode, which will get everyone wondering, who would I be without all the things in my life? For anyone who's ever found themselves starting again, this is for you.

In this episode we discuss:

PART 1: LEAVING LONDON

• What took Rob to London originally
• What happens to identities/ communities when you move away
• The closing rituals that Rob went through when leaving London and how it felt similar to dying.
• About Imaginary Millions - the successful hip hop night and how he 'closed' it

PART 2: QUITTING THE CHURCH

• Rob's first experience of a connection with God when he was 14
• Holding two things at once: Rob's own beliefs and the church values
• How Rob used his inner knowing to make a decision about leaving the church and what it means for his belief system now.

LINKS:

This is the Imaginary Millions album which Rob recorded just before he went to Australia:

https://open.spotify.com/album/5bre4fiI1V1O1oW8MyKeW9?si=N8hJu0LSR0ywsTTofmKoww

This is Rob's weekly letter The Letting Go:

http://tinyletter.com/robgrundel

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Sarah's newsletter: https://sarahweiler.substack.com/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in January 2023

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

TW: Grief

In today's episode I'm talking to Emma Sexton - an entrepreneur, marketing specialist, design thinker and creative doer.

I met Emma back in 2016 when I was running a Female Founders Accelerator and she was working at the Kings Accelerator as Creative Expert in Residence. Back then we talked a lot about our love of starting ventures and knowing when to fold them. Emma has in the past run a successful radio show, taken women on regular trade missions to New York as well as bootstrapping a really successful creative agency - called Hands Down. 

In the summer of 2022 Emma made the decision to SUNSET her creative agency after 10 years, when she was really close to turning over her goal of 1 million pounds revenue.

In this episode Emma share's honestly about how she made the decision to close the business, the weight of running a big business, and the backdrop of her father's terminal illness, which helped her reassess what was really important.

Emma is so knowledgeable about the world of entrepreneurship and for anyone wondering whether quitting a business is the right thing for them, you're going to love this episode. 

We discuss:

• The post-olympics new culture of entrepreneurship between 2013-18
• The pros and cons of working alone
• The struggle of trying to grow a business while a family member is dying
• How and why Emma made the big decision to quit
• What it means to exit a business
• Advice for founders who are trying to decide whether to quit

Thanks for coming on the show, Emma.

--

Emma's links:

IG: @misssexton

Website: www.emmasexton.com

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Sarah's newsletter: https://sarahweiler.substack.com/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in November 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

TW: Suicide

When I first thought about this podcast, I knew that I didn't just want to talk about jobs + businesses. Today, I have my dear friend, arts psychotherapist, and wise wise woman Zaira Mughal on the podcast sharing about her divorce.

It's a deep, honest episode about the cultural, societal and emotional reasons we hold on to relationships, even if all the signs are there that it is over.

What Zaira has gone on to do since her divorce though, is truly remarkable.

For anyone, who is feeling totally lost in life, this episode is full of hope. Zaira took the darkest moments of her life and learned to love herself, and is committed to helping others do the same. Thank you, Zaira for sharing your story with the world - you are a total inspiration.

In this episode we explore:

• Zaira' story with her ex-husband: how she felt at the start of the relationship and how things started to break down.
• Feeling like you have to be 'the strong one' in a family.
• Cultural stigma in the Muslim community about divorce, and how that impacted her readiness to walk away, and confide in her family and friends.
• How Zaira has learned to connect with her intuition and body wisdom to understand what feels right.
• The importance of space to process what is going on, and gain perspective.
• How Zaira learned to love herself after the separation.
• What's Zaira up to now and how you can work with her.

Zaira is a trainee Arts Psychotherapist, Therapeutic Arts Coach & Facilitator, and Energy healer. Her personal philosophy is that you contain a Life force that is extraordinarily creative, and is longing to express itself. When you choose to ignite your creative life force, your potential becomes exponential.

Zaira works with the arts, somatic practices, breathwork, visualisations and trauma-informed techniques to navigate life challenges, activate your imagination towards what is possible, and unleash new possibilities for living your potential.

Website: https://www.zairamughal.com/

Instagram: @arthealingwithzaira

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music composed and performed by - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in April 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

The place you feel the most resistance is the most important place for your soul's evolution...

In today's episode we look at the other side of quitting: NOT quitting.

Whenever we start a new project, habit or venture there is a part of us that is screaming to give up. How do we know if this is fear talking or a voice we should listen to? How do we keep going even if we're feeling a lot of resistance? What if we don't feel like we are a real (insert word) writer/creative/musician/poet yet?

My guest today, Robbie Swale, developed a simple, 12-minute a week, writing habit over 6 years, which has ended up changing his life. In this episode he'll share what he's learned from this process and how you can get started too.

Robbie Swale is a leadership coach, author and podcaster whose work focuses on creativity, leading with honour and the craft of coaching. 

He is the host of two podcasts – The Coach’s Journey Podcast and The 12-Minute Method Podcast – and the author of The 12-Minute Method series of books, including How to Start When You’re Stuck and How to Create the Conditions for Great Work. 

In this episode we discuss:

• Why we weren't sure whether we'd should do an episode about NOT quitting
• How Robbie started a regular writing habit as an experiment on a train journey
• Why doing less actually gets you further
• How his first book came about, almost be accident
• What felt hard about keeping going with his writing practise
• How do you choose what to start on?
• Is it fear or wisdom talking when we want to give up?
• What identities Robbie had to shift as he started writing
• The fear of outshining other people
• A crisis of 'what's the point' after watching Frank Turner run a 4 day musical festival

Books we talk about

Atomic Habits /4000 weeks/ The War of Art / The Big Leap

Music at end - Frank Turner - Photosynthesis

Learn more about Robbie at www.robbieswale.com and www.thecoachsjourney.com.

Buy the 12-Minute Method Books at https://geni.us/12minutemethodseries 

Find Robbie on Social Media:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robbieswale/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5aalWAQqFp6yTk2jghSpeQ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RobbieSwale 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robbieswalecoachandauthor 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbieswale/ 

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in October 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

Ooof! This is a big topic today, and one we've been wanting to put out for a while.

Between our mid 30s and mid 40s most women are preoccupied with a big decision - whether or not to have children. The decision is complicated: while it's partly in our hands, it's also, in many ways totally not.

We wanted to have a frank discussion about what it means to be in this time of deliberation, how we personally navigate the uncertainty, and the opportunity we have to build a new narrative for childfree women.

In this podcast we discuss:

Both our current (but ever-changing) perspectives on whether we want to have children

What the benefits could be of not having children

What we've learned from older women who are child free

The danger of the panic years

Whether it's as simple as family vs freedom, or if it's more nuanced than that

Should we all be mothers anyway?

Whether men have a ticking clock

Towards a more open idea of what family can mean

Thank you for listening. Please share this episode with anyone who you think it would resonate with!

Follow Kim - @_kimwillis (Instagram) and @kimberleywillis (Twitter)

Kim's website - https://www.wherewegrow.co.uk/

Kim's newsletter - https://wherewegrow.substack.com/

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Sarah's newsletter - https://sarahweiler.substack.com/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

The song at the end is Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette - Kim on vocals and Sarah on keys.

This was recorded in November 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

Ooof! This is a big topic today, and one we've been wanting to put out for a while.

Between our mid 30s and mid 40s most women are preoccupied with a big decision - whether or not to have children. The decision is complicated: while it's partly in our hands, it's also, in many ways totally not.

We wanted to have a frank discussion about what it means to be in this time of deliberation, how we personally navigate the uncertainty, and the opportunity we have to build a new narrative for childfree women.

In this podcast we discuss:

• Both our current (but ever-changing) perspectives on whether we want to have children
• What the benefits could be of not having children
• What we've learned from older women who are child free
• The danger of the panic years
• Whether it's as simple as family vs freedom, or if it's more nuanced than that
• Should we all be mothers anyway?
• Whether men have a ticking clock
• Towards a more open idea of what family can mean

Thank you for listening. Please share this episode with anyone who you think it would resonate with!

Follow Kim - @_kimwillis (Instagram) and @kimberleywillis (Twitter)

Kim's website - https://www.wherewegrow.co.uk/

Kim's newsletter - https://wherewegrow.substack.com/

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Sarah's newsletter - https://sarahweiler.substack.com/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

The song at the end is Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette - Kim on vocals and Sarah on keys.

This was recorded in November 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

TW: suicide and grief

In 2008 Tiffany Philippou returned to university, having lost her boyfriend to suicide over the summer. For the next decade she kept herself busy with work, love and London - anything to take her mind off facing her grief.

Now, 14 years on, she's written a memoir documenting her 20s and the journey she went on to stop pretending that things were 'totally fine.' It's brave, raw and honest and a reminder for anyone grieving that it's okay to ask for help.

In this final episode of 2022 we discuss:

⛑ What did mental health support look like in 2008?

💊 What Tiffany did to try and numb the grief.

🗣 The importance of talking about things to reduce the shame.

📖 The process of writing a memoir including calling up people from your past to tell them you've written about them!

🫀 We also discuss quitting more generally including knowing when to quit a relationship, listening to doubts and knowing the difference between 'this is just hard' and 'I know in my bones this is not right.'

🚀 I share the framework I use to decide if a quitting decision is based on flight, fight or freeze.

😐 We discuss if anyone has ever regretted quitting and whether the desire to quit should always be trusted?

Tiffany's weekly newsletter: tiffanyphilippou.substack.com

Tiffany's book: Totally Fine and Other Lies I've Told Myself - https://www.waterstones.com/book/totally-fine-and-other-lies-ive-told-myself/tiffany-philippou/9781909770720

Tiffany's podcast: Totally Fine with Tiffany Philippou - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/totally-fine-with-tiffany-philippou/id1612599165

Connect with Tiffany on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tiffphilippou/

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Quitting Quadrant framework - https://sarah-weiler.medium.com/knowing-when-to-quit-introducing-the-quitting-quadrant-model-37ff083f12a2

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in April 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

What can ADHD teach us about Knowing When to Quit? Today's guest Matthew Bellringer has some ideas...

Matthew is a divergent innovation guide, neurodiversity advocate and social entrepreneur. They believe that with the right support, unconventional people can make a unique contribution to addressing big, messy problems that affect everyone. Working with (mostly) neurodivergent professionals, academics, and entrepreneurs, Matthew helps establish original approaches to complex issues. They also work with organisations to create the kind of spaces which support this work.

In this episode we explore:

🧐 Why having a short attention span can be a good thing

👨🏻‍⚕️ Matthew's journey with ADHD and Dyslexia diagnoses

🎢 The difference between appetite for risk and appetite for uncertainty

🤹🏻‍♀️ How Matthew realises it's time to move away from a hobby and what they do to honour the completion

😩 How to know where to start when you're feeling overwhelmed with options

👎🏽 The stigma around being a generalist

👯‍♀️ How the desire quit plays out when they're working with others

Matthew's website: matthewbellringer.com

Find Matthew on Linked in: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-bellringer/ 

Matthew's podcast: https://www.matthewbellringer.com/delightful-dissent

Navigating Neurodiversity, for people exploring and figuring out what to do with diagnosis, before and after:

https://iaq.matthewbellringer.com/notes/wkfywxei831rn1ncukspxjc/ 

and its counterpart for those supporting a neurodivergent person personally or professionally, Supporting Neurodiversity: 

https://iaq.matthewbellringer.com/notes/89tai34f8kpwdcj4zbp5oo3/ 

Matthew as a speaker/writer - https://iaq.matthewbellringer.com/notes/fwbn4nd6nooqxdqcewd2o1i/

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in April 2022

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler

''When we think nothing is happening, A LOT is happening.''- Sam Moyo

Welcome to SERIES 2 of Knowing When to Quit! We're so excited to have you back here.

This week I'm speaking to Samantha Moyo: Founder of Morning Gloryville (MGV), Creative Coach and Consultant, and as of this summer Shambala Festival's favourite cowgirl.

If you don't know MGV, it was a revolutionary sober rave movement, which got people up at 6am to dance to the likes of Fatboy Slim before work. It had huge success all over the globe, and yet, there will always be moments in a start-up's story where the founder asks, 'is this still working for me?'

In this honest interview, Sam shares what led her to want to move away from MGV; how the abrupt end shed light on the outdated systems in place; and how she's determined to make sure the world of business changes for the better.

In this conversation we discuss:

🏡 Non-binary thinking, not just in gender and sexuality but in where we choose to live

🧘🏽‍♀️The importance of sitting in the fertile void in order for an idea to emerge

🔮 Being a futurist and how it comes from sensitivity

❤️ The changes Sam wanted to see in the world when she set up MGV

🚺 Menstruation in the workplace - what is changing and where we still have work to do

🔥 How the difficult end to MGV revealed the truth about the systemic change that needs to happen in business, and what it's fuelled in her since

🌳 The things that helped Sam get through her post-MGV time

Please note there is swearing on this episode, in case you are playing it in front of littles :)

Sam's website - https://www.samanthamoyo.co.uk/

Sam's IG - @mysticmoyo

Knowing When to Quit - Instagram - @knowingwhentoquit

Podcast homepage - www.sarahweiler.com/podcast/

Editor - Johnny Hall / Music - Sarah Weiler / Artwork - Tom Pauling

This was recorded in October 2022 in person

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST? You can buy me a coffee here: https://ko-fi.com/sarahweiler