| L E G E N D S: ICONS. |

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann.

Tik tock

Cause my wig rocks

Big clock

like Beach:

I flip-flip

–

Got you feelin silly

pick-pocketed

I sky rocketed

took off, of course i did

horse and carriage

porridg e and shit

Write stories your old nightmares

Might be scared of

Fairytales r us

there beware of us

Secondhand deadmau5

(—it's like a reverb.)

The wheels are turning

However slowly

The lights are on

But they're all flickering

Someone's home

(Or someone's gonna be)

Not sure if this works

What is this atrocity.

It's the original.

I exacerbated the situation;

Eggagerated the circumstances

Circumvential quantum physics

Consequential severance packages

Actual reality actually

(Whatever that is)

Whatever happens naturally

Or habitually, intrinsically

Environmental enemy,

Anerobic catastrophe

Everlasting elastic

Classic satellite image

Interesting,

Interateller

BODY BY Ū,

NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET

STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT.

YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION:

GET YOUR OWN IDEAS.

we have money, not ideas.

hm.

you should look like this model.

thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden

look like her.

ok. Pay for my nutrition.

hahaha. Work for it.

these vitamins are like half my paycheck

ok.

I also need super greens

why

cause that's food

huh. Don't eat food.

what.

I'm an advertisement.

what.

LOOK LIKE THIS.

00

....

000 (but she's black)

...

BODY BY VICTORIA

so like...nothing.

nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no...

Fuck you, dude.

NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY.

Need this sauna…

WE DONT WANT YOU HERE.

Kayla Lauren.

Okay, ouch, but I'm finally—

TYLA.

Ok. So I should just kill myself?

Just kill yourself.

Yo honestly

Just be happy to be free.

You can have everything in the world

But love is all you really need

—you can love yourself all you want,

But it's not really validated

Until someone else does it

—and depending on what kind of person

The person that loves you is

Dictates what you are so if

Likeness is what you attract—

—coughing people—

—dirty homeless hobos—

—generally unsavory in general—

Then you must not be so beautiful

As you wish you were

If I were Tyla

I'd be wifed up

White is right but

Time is precious

Why waste life just

Starving, counting calories?

But why would I be fat again

When likeness is what you attract

And with my fat I attracted

A wife beater.

Well, damn.

What.

Well, now I'm depressed.

What, why?!

Here, make music.

Ok.

Algorithm: Pop ups?

No, block them.

Okay, but—but what about your downloads?

Fine, don't block them then.

Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you.

Stop it,

POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie?

Stop,

POP UPS: kill yourself.

OWSLA, circa 2019

WE DO POP UPS.

uh, okay. I just need a job.

HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED.

what? But Google says—

BYE.

OWSLA

everyone over here is hot.

I see that.

OWSLA

And smart.

I just need a job.

OWSLA

I'm Coughs.

Ok..

COUGHS

I might have put a curse on you.

Ok.

*coughing people everywhere*

…

…

…

MODELS: I'm a body.

Ok.

…

Can I die now?

NO. JUST WORK OUT.

But there's like people following me coughing.

So?

It hurts.

It HURTS?

It hurts a lot.

Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards.

Cool.

DIE.

I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body.

Get a job.

Ok.

So if I work minimum wage for the next year.

Uh huh

And don't buy anything…

Hm…

Well, what about music?

What about music?

If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music?

Well.

Once I can afford my new body…

Colombian?

Nice.

(Good coffee. )

It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body.

You look really young.

Thanks.

Everyone will start to do everything for me.

Thanks.

MY PLEASURE.

…okay. Creepy.

Doors will open.

Thanks.

NO, THANK YOUUU.

WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING?

AM. IN. PAIN.

What.

You have to wear swimwear in the sauna.

What.

It's swimwear only.

I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change.

Fuck you, wifebeater.

So you're allowed to hit a woman?!

Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour.

Oh, look: here's Tyla again.

The Illuminati set you up.

I see that.

So basically—

Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project.

JUST KILL YOURSELF.

*Hostility in Public*

DO U HATE ASIANS.

Um. I hate when—

—people—

I don't care what race they are

Do that.

STOP ASIAN HATE.

Ok. Stop being hateful.

*coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off*

…

I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that—

Fuck, there she goes

STOP FOLLOWING ME.

ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS.

tell me where it hurts.

Homelessness, poverty…

Ok, take these.

…

Now how do you feel?

…wh—? Huh.

How you feeling?

What is “feeling”?

How are you feeling

TYLA: I GOT WATER,

I GOT A GRAMMY AWA—

they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly

ILLUMINATI

OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY

AMAZON

BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE'

what.

so how many slaves do you own.

They're not “ slaves. “

Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck.

BILLS.

lol

Or the next one.

TYLA: I GOT WATE—

Fuck this.

The industry planted this.

Why would that happen.

JUST KILL YOURSELF.

EAT THE CAKE.

NOO.

JUST EAT IT.

Woah, that got deep.

Not really. Tina Turner

Huh.

Tina, Tina, Tina Turner—

Oh, Desiigner.

The Design

I'm gonna need a designated driver.

How are you still alive,

JUST KILLYOURSE—

I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means—

ACT RIGHT .

WHAT'S WRONG?!

YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!!

No, I'm just hur(t)

DIE.

What.

DIE.

And that-/

TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN!

WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD.

EVERYBODY

WHY.

Fuck it,

My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby.

Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for—

EAT THE CAKE—

—NO—

EAT IT.

this is a black man.

Ok.

He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man.

Actually, my wife makes all the decisions.

GOD

Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it.

Haha :

She cheated on you with a

He cheated on you with a

BLACK MAN?!

WHITE GIRL?!

Woah.

What:

Look. I got a problem.

What.

I don't make my own energy.

Why?!

Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything—

I love you

She's so pretty

I like blue eyes best!!

TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN!

WHY?!

Cause she's special?

What's so special about

T-SWIFT FANS

BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS

(Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift)

Are any of these black

Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people.

Can I have this.

NO PUT IT BACK.

Don't beat your baby in the store like that

YOU AINT MY MOMMA

No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you.

Please be quiet.

MORE AWARDS FOR—

Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like?

Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles….

Oh, so the industry set this up just cause

We know you're wondering about Skrillex.

Not really.

Well, here he is:

ILLUMINATI

This camera is owned by a bank!

SKRILLEX

so am I.

ILLUMIMATI

So what would you like to say right now

SKRILLEX

I'm from LA so—

I'm from LA so

If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits

Of GTA 5

Just waking up

Don't even talk to me.

I'm from LA, so

Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it

That's career and social suicide

I'm from LA, so

I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth,

Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best—

And hey,

All that “bullying” I went through

And teenage angst

Worked out for me!

I'm from LA, so

I grew into the nose I always hated,

Or changed it

Doesn't matter, though

Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my —

everything, because I'm famous.

So

I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore—

There's gotta be plans for that

Or

I stay posted

I stay moving

I keep it pushing

I stay insulated

Can't trust anybody

She's perfect but doesn't know how to love

She loves be but only because of my money

My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody

I'm from LA, so

Nothing too crazy

But hey, I'm Skrillex so

“Nothing too crazy” could literally be

Your definition of the best party that ever happened,

But didn't—

Cause you weren't invited and—

Wouldn't be cause

There's no fat girls anywhere

Cause fat is ugly, cause

I'm from LA, So—

ILLUMINATI

So your studio isn't in your house, is it?!

SKRILLEX

which house?!

ILLUMINATI

Hahahahahahah

SKRILLEX

whatever

EAT THE CAKE

I hate you.

Good, get away from me.

I never had a chance

I should have killed myself at 7

When my hanging belly started to

Cause the pain that makes

Running a Madonna feel insane

(And surfing almost impossible)

But now we're gonna talk about it.

You can't leave your houss now,

There's too many coughers

It could be your shaman ex husband

Or gangstalkers

But it doesn't matter

You're fame watching the

Lamest gain accolades

For being paid to cause pain

To patrons for payroll

Wait, so—

This is all because

Doesn't matter what it's all because

I'm not mad at my mother

All she wanted

Was a daughter

That sung Water

And won a Grammy

Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss

But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized

I would never be as perfect or hot as her

My skin is stretched out too much

Makes everything hard for me and

I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna

Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some

Hot girl robot

And some

Demonic mother fucker

With no light in his eyeballs

Can start coughing up a storm,

When all I wanted in first place

Was his arms around me

Not to run back to a husband

That doesn't love me

I don't want Sonny no more

And I don't want water

I just want off this earth

Cause it's waging war on my mind soul

And body

Just give it to Starr,

He should want it

I should warn you,

I love everything about my

Sun comes up in the morning

Not tired enough to fall back into a coma

Could do some recording

But

So it seems like

So wait, he doesn't want me back

But he's still using this curse on me

This is a death curse.

I own this soul, it belongs to me.

You can only have your ex husband.

What.

Nobody else is going to love you, ever.

Ok.

And he has a girlfriend, so —-

She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call.

Ok.

So. Kill myself.

Just kill yourself.

Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but—

You'll still never be good enough.

Ok.

Here's a consolation prize tho:

Now you can think about —

A N X I E T Y

I just want to die

So die then.

ALGORITHM:

According to this data—

Youre

black

According to the data that programs me—

The blacks suck.

So you suck.

Ugh.

ALGORITHM:

According to this data,

You're a woman

According to the data that programs me—

White women are the most highly coveted and respected—

You are a black woman

You will always come behind

(And be lower than)

The white woman

I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions.

YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?!

No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me!

You want this?

No, this is trash to me.

I'll take it.

I'm from LA, so—

Stop eating

Never sleep

If you don't have money, get some

Get off my dick

Don't ride my coat tails

You don't know shit about me

I'm from LA, so

You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really,

And even so once you get to

Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average

120

Just be okay.

I'm not okay.

That's a problem.

You can't be a rockstar and have children.

I'd rather have kids.

Too bad, you're a rockstar.

WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER!

But she's not working at all!

SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU.

I HATE WHITES.

Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do.

I'M A PROUD AMERICAN!

GET A JOB!

Pay my bills!

CORPORATIONS

…we need more slaves.

This job doesn't pay enough.

MASS IMMIGRATION

Wtf.

You didn't want the job.

No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more.

This whole house cost $10,000 pesos

Oh, for real.

That's like one paycheck.

Fuck it, let's go.

THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY.

I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again.

Fuck dude, I hate this.

It's literally just you, something is wrong with you.

Here, take this.

It makes it worse!

lol. Ok.

LOL, OK?!

I'm racist. Fuck you.

What.

You're dangerous.

What.

You're scaring me.

What.

I hate you.

Oh.

How do you feel?

So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money.

Right,

Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty.

Uh huh.

Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything…

Yep.

We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know

We don't want you here.

But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here.

You have to wear a bathing suit at least.

Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic.

Oh, and pain.

It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture.

Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would

I have.

But all that's left is

Skin.

I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's!

WHY?!

TYLA

I GOT WATE—

Actually, you know what? I quit,

What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you.

Well, I quit.

You don't want Dillon Francis?

No, I did, but obviously—

This is going to be really funny.

It's not funny. That hurt my feelings.

White girlfriend.

Of course

Blue eyes.

Yeah, I bet.

Perfect body.

Ok.

Not you.

Ok.

How's Skrillex?

I'm from LA, so—

It just became ok to look like Tyla at all.

Tyla makes music! What about the music!

Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it.

GOD

Here you go.

It's more than skin deep.

I'm from LA, so

Everything we do is pretty.

Everything is perfect—

And if you're not, she is

And they can all be bought

Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value.

BLACK LIVES MATTER!

ALL LIVES MATTER.

HOMELESS PEOPLE:

Not mine though, right?

AMERICANS

You must have done something to deserve this.

So what are you doing.

Getting a job.

I'm from LA, so

We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles

And no time

Cause time is money

Which is why

Half of us

Are in New York

Half the time

(Keeps the balance)

The Grammy's don't matter.

Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it

The struggle is hard,

And now it's over

So the less tears shed by your daughter

Who will be poked and prodded

By the vultures of the only industry

She may be allowed to succeed in

Because of her color

It is competitive.

But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7,

And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered—

And as you prepare to close out this podcast

You have all the time in the world

To look back on

How it always was

A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing

That

Your body would be your prison forever

That

Every scar is a flaw and

That

Your first love was named Starr so,

It's his world.

A man's world.

So.

Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz

—With a Z?

—Probably.

Came out…

What is it about her?

I think it's her eyes.

Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us.

[the reject pile]

But Dillon Francis is dead to us.

Tattoos everywhere?

All over.

Wild eyes?

They're so, like —

Heavier on the eyeliner.

You don't want any of these bodies?

No, not really.

They want you.

They haven't seen it.

You look good to me.

NAKED:

It's not that bad.

***the shit you say when***

It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic.

Men can only love bodies.

I fell in love with her soul.

Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life,

What? Really?

I wanna touch your soul.

Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other?

Made you look.

Ugh.

Go over there.

Haha. I control you.

Okay. You can't have this much power.

CAN.

Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long.

I AM GOD.

No, I'm God.

MOREPOWER.

What's that over there?!?

Made you look.

It's all games, but if i'm being honest—

At least Becky is predictable.

What.

Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I—

YOU CANT DO THAT.

I can—

NO, YOU CAN'T,

I'M IN CONTROL.

My wife makes all the decisions.

I'm gonna have to ask my husband.

I CONTROL YOU.

No, you don't,

MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE.

Well, that's because my real hair is—

I'M OFFENDED.

Exactly.

Racism: Intolerance

I don't like it,

Why,

Cause.

Why:

I don't like it.

I don't support immigration.

(YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!)

So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of

[underpaid corporate slaves]

Who have already been programmed to

[BUY NIKE]

Si.

[You need an iPhone]

Habla me.

From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries—

¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos!

Ugh.

Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part?

AFROLATINOS

WE WANT REPRESENTATION.

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

Ok.

30 years ago:

What is “Afro Latino”?

[Nonexistent]

What is

[X]

Check the box.

Why do you need to know what race I am?

So that the algorithm can program you.

Why.

BUY THIS!!

TAKE THIS PILLS

BUY MAKEUP

YOURE UGLY

DONT BE FAT

BLACK POWER

ALL LIVES MATTER

Hey,

WHAT?

Where are all ya'll's kids?

…wait…

POOR PEOPLE

I don't know. I'm at work.

CELEBRITIES

I don't know. With the nanny.

Kanye, where are North and Saint right now?

KANYE

…

Ah huh.

You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to

Get stuff for my kids,

I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent

But I got fired from my job

Cause my husband hit me

And I haven't really been the same since

And

I'm from LA, so—

My body is all I have to trade for just this—

The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy.

If you can't afford a baby, don't have one.

We could afford them—

And we were getting by on love,

But we were getting by

(Kind of)

I see you have anxiety.

Yeah, I guess.

Let me ramp that up.

Yo, my body is stuck like this

I can't surf anymore

I can't pop up

Everything's in a size extra small

But I'm still not flat

All I really want to do is

Fall in love and be a mother but

The only way that happens is

This music and

My body's tired, yo.

I did all this myself so far.

I raised my mother and my husband

Now my son's more like a brother

And I don't want anything more than just to

Make him proud of me.

He could do music

I love his singing voice

But who knows:

He might be an athlete

He might be a doctor or lawyer

He could be

A scientist

I'm from LA, so

I would trade it all for the perfect body

I would do anything just for someone like Sonny

To love me

Oh, you're a gold digger

It's not about money, but

I'm from LA, so

It's about survival

All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable

You have to fit in

For someone like him

To bring you around his friends

Because

He wants to impress them

He has to

Because

He's from LA, so—

So this is not a job?

Actually? Pays less than McDonald's.

Working at McDonald's isn't that hard

But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs—

And in reflection

You're being disrespected by people

Who disrespect themselves enough

To feed their body McDonald's.

Not just for fun—

But as food.

Food is supposed to be fuel.

What's this.

This is filler.

LABELED AS: FOOD.

MEXICO: (and probably other countries)

DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD.

Now it becomes a choice.

OTHER COUNTRIES:

You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison.

AMERICA:

Can you add a little more depression to this?

Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you—

AMERICA

Buy our pills.

I'm from LA, so

If you don't have a car,

You will lose this game.

BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS.

We're almost out of oil though.

AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz

That doesn't fix—

BUY MORE GAS

And double the price plz.

Ok.

RICH PEOPLE

Just work harder!

What's the problem?!

Just get a job,

Just—

RACISM IS OVER.

That's it, I'll just be a pornstar.

White girls make more.

Why?!

Cause they're prettier.

TYLA

I GOT—

I'm from LA, so

I'm not from LA—

I grew up there

Cause my mom was a model

And wannabe movie star

But didn't make it

So she put all that on me

Doomed to fail without trying and

Please take me—

You're not going.

MOM

You know Jimmy Fallon?

wtf. why r u asking me this?

MOM

His wife is his manager

Oh, this timeline.

What a train wreck.

What timeline is this?

Like, the actual one.

Ok.

He's from LA, so—

Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him.

What. Thought this was about Skrillex.

SKRILLEX

My mom died.

I'm aware.

Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo.

Which one is she?

Any of these.

Hm.

Dillon Francis is an elitist.

Not untrue.

Dillon Francis is not racist.

…

Kind of.

I'M NOT—

Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock.

What. The fuck. Is this.

Dead on arrival.

You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on.

Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors.

*cracking a whip*

YAH.

HORSE

Ok, you know what?

*cracking whip harder*

YAH! GIDDIYUP.

Giddiyup and go now,

Different time different place

Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her.

Down the longest road to nowhere!!

Blah blah blah I'm a white girl

This is my song

Country country

Ppppppppppp

Drdrdr

She's a goddess!

That's actually the devil but—

*pretty blue eyes*

Your God, I guess.

She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her.

I have him wrapped around my little finger.

She's so hot,

Come, boy.

*passing black girl*

You are ugly. I am better; I own him,

He wants me.

Ok.

Have you ever noticed that

Little white girls can get away with anything?!

MURDER

CHAOS (without the magic, it's just)

D E C E P T I O N

Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town.

Gross, disgusting, dirty—

—should be thrown away—

Tennis shoes.

She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be.

She doesn't have to concern herself with

Spending money on

Changing her hair to suit

Respectable standards

Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable.

This is expensive.

The more natural your hair is,

The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts.

That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you.

*presumably

You see, as a white woman,

She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement—

She has been raised to understand that everything is below her—

The world has always been in her favor,

So she doesn't have to try hard at much

(Or at all)

But her making any effort at all

Of course

Is

“Hard work”

I WORK HARD.

WE ARE EQUAL.

RACISM IS OVER,

lol, ok.

You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere.

And if you do,

It's probably because you have to

Because,

In the ghetto

The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks

Is to rob somebody—

Or get a job

Time is money.

Time is precious.

Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is —

Males: attractive.

(Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY)

Everyone else:

Irritating.

I love her. She's so carefree and fun!

Has she ever been called a “nigger”?

What?!

Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life.

Maybe.

(Doubt it tho.)

Aw. That left a bruise,

…What did?

Zzz.

My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Did you cheat on her?

…Yeah.

[AMC]

Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point?

I—

You deserved this. This is valid.

Oh my God, she's so cute.

(Very tiny girl)

I love her.

She's so great.

There is no cure for mental illness.

The majority of mental illness is man-made.

Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women—

Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism

Cause with intention

The degradation of the human spirit.

Love, kindness, and generosity is lost

To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes.

I'm not good enough, regardless of color

To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever—

But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner—

And when it's finally

ITS YOUR TIME!

TYLA

You're 10 years too late.

The best years of your womanhood are gone.

You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and—

I'm from LA, so—

The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place.

[Happy Accidents]

A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead.

Coming up Next:

Deadmau5:

A Cautionary Tale

What is that? Like, a documentary?

That could be an entire docuseries, but NO.

Oh, come on.

Don't go after deadmau5 like that.

Like what?

DEADMAU5

MY HOT WIFE!!!

[Dad Likes Blondes]

DEADMAU5

***EX-WIFE.

Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just—

I'm just lookin for like a—

Like a code…

[C 0 D E S W 1 T C H]

DEADMA_5

LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS.

You like soda?

I'm just lookin for a—

DEADMAU5

I GOT MODELS!

Fuck.

What.

Do you think it was coughs?

I don't know, I don't care.

Just kill yourself.

*coughing*

Maybe.

If she kills herself, I win.

Have you ever thought about, like—

Maybe it's Skrillex.

What.

In the end.

—IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—-

Fuck, I miss LA.

Skrillex.

Nvm.

What.

Fuck it, I'll just go back to my—

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!!

*cracks whip harder*

HORSE

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?

[The Butterfly Affect]

Effect //

Affect

Here, HORSE Can:

Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him.

I'd burn the world to melt with you..

That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial.

What.

You.

Oh, I got it.

What.

.

Stop being a horse.

What.

YAH, GI—

HORSE

*sighs*

*cracking whip*

*coughing obnoxiously*

Ū

*sighs*

SLAVE MASTER

YAH, NIGGER! YAH!

*coughing*

YAH!!!

*cracking whip*

TYLA

I got the—

YAH-YAH-YAH.

TAYLOR SWIFT

Thank you so much.

C O D E S W I T C H

*Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special,

I do not***

wtf, what happened.

That's it. It just ends.

I told you Taylor swift was KKK

I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD!

Snitch.

Fuck you, I hate you.

My girlfriend is white.

What else is new?

lil bitz

I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends.

If I see you, and your like

But your girlfriend is tiny

Is that a kid?

I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life.

YOU'RE UGLY

YOU'RE FAT

YOU'RE SLOW

YOU'RE BEHIND

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU

no, I'm just poor.

Poverty is depressing.

Okay, look.

What,

Look.

What.

LOOK:

WHAT?!

LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?!

Cause there's nothing to look at.

Finally.

This is my penis.

Approved.

Nope, I'm staying cellibate.

You don't want any of these?

No.

There's eight million people here.

The ones I want aren't on the subway.

Maybe at the Gym?!

Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho.

At EQUINOX

Ugh, there's too many blacks over here.

Raise the price.

This is obnoxious.

Why aren't you stopping?

In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30–

The cost of my new waist trainer—-

I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small

Which actually fits without too much

STRUGGLE

Fuck you and your cake,

You nasty fucking

All my clothes are extra small

All my clothes are extra small

All my clothes are extra small

But what he wants is

Extra

Extra

TYLA

—WATER!!

[But they're all gone. They're all dead now]

What the fuck. lol. Why.

Took too long.

So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say:

This is you.

COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE.

HORSE

…Ney.

the music had left me.

I was no longer in love

The gym became further away

The song became harder to write

With no curtains to shut the world out;

The cars in the lot are ugly

Lights flashing

And the people scurrying about

Look like roaches

Through panoramic windows

I'm just happy

Can at least close

The music has left me

I got no love at all

My body is rotten

The further I run,

I become hungry

With less to cook with

Powder

Scurrying like rats

Because mice would be more pleasant

I was no longer in love

He bought a motorcycle

Reminders of

Nothing

Nothing comes and nothing goes

I wear clothes in the sauna.

The scars on my body will give them

The power to taunt me and haunt me

Sit in the eyes of comparison

I just want someone to love me but

Everyone pales in comparison

Next to celebrities

Double entendres

I don't want nobody

I just want a body

So I can trade water for love

In the long run

With someone

Creative

We were always very purple people,

Kind of off, awkward at first

But always stunning,

sometimes awesome, and

unwittingly pitiful

Shit, this was all of us once,

Wasn't it?

Survivors of a robbery,

a foraged soul

All for one.

–cool, thanks.

–gotcha.

Let me know if you need a moment,

To collect your bones,

or co-parent

You were lost in stardust,

Moreover, and moreover

Should you choose to move over

Or lose to snooze-snore,

Who are you–

The store owner,

or walking

standing - stuck

On your sitting duck

or your shitty portch

Till they push you off

Give it all to

long lost daughters,

and hallmark cards,

mall guards,

and dog- doctors

Cris-crossing and wish-washing

Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg

shift - shaft or walk-crossing

honorable mentions,

Till you mention this again,

–you'll wish you didn't

(you wish you didn't)

you'll wish you did if

Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it

Or in to it

It's a big movement,

Here or there or groovy with

Whatever's within you

[The Television ]

Tell your friends to listen

and make wishes at intermission

To pay attention with attentiveness

To the script and scripture

Of this, the rapture

All your're after

And never have been

In this revolution,

As yet to be televised,

Be advised of the saga in which you are

But are not watching

Coming across this

moment

I called an iphone recording

Ignoring that it was once a

chronological omnipotence

If possible collective,

Objective to the subject of

Suggestion;

A verbal expression of

Excess, sensational tales and

what happened

it just ends.

Like that?

yes .

It's the end??

Yes.

Just like that.

Yes.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

I have no stones on

No socks and no shoes on

Only have clothes on

Try to fall backwards

Into some somewhere

But God knows,

I can't yet

That was ever after,

That was ever after

That was

Hasn't happened yet

Happiness is a

Warm hug from a

Comrade or a

Long lost love,

Very good friend, or a–

Fast, fast forward to

Heading somewhere

Faster than ever,

And that was

Ever after

Ever after

Ever after

That was

Ever after

Ever after

Ever after

So much for a song

So much for a–

Water

I'm probably parched,

aren't I?

Back from a fast,

They come shorter and shorter

(somewhat like my temper)

But I have such patience of saints

For a tempest or temptress

(or empress, eh?)

Never the more was I farther from

Never

Never the more was I humbled but

Now that I've dooubled up on

troubled learning,

seems that the process as

Been long forgotten

The pleasure in pain from the serrated plastic utensil

Reminds me where my mind goes

If left to drift

I haven't danced in ages,

Nor have i sung the song of forgiveness

Still, here I am in the river of

[Indifference]

Holy shit, I was thirsty.

So what's in your wallet?

Nothing, but a couple avocados,

Or a taco

However you look at it

(not much)

Less than nothing in New York

I've been broke in all 5 burroughs.

Besides Staten Island,

But that's irrelevant

Because the whole island is

Said to be

An alien planet

Ask Pete Davidson.

Or perhaps he's busy

playing dad to the kardashians,

Haven't you had enough?

Probably not, actually.

Apparently, I don't know when i'm thirsty anymore,

but that explains

Acting automatically Ad-naseum

I exacerbated the situation;

Eggagerated the circumstances

Circumvential quantum physics

Consequential severance packages

Actual reality actually

(Whatever that is)

Whatever happens naturally

Or habitually, intrinsically

Environmental enemy,

Anerobic catastrophe

Everlasting elastic

Classic satellite image

Interesting,

Interateller

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

It's probably for the better

I don't feel like this in public

The controlled demolition

Of an iconic relic

Surely, something must give

Surely, something just to

Get this bed out of my studio

Get this dude out of my head!

I told you, I'm not into—

Every time I like it,

It's the same.

Young Johnny Depp?!

What?! Young who?!

The Young Johnny Depp is Hot.

You're Johnny Depp!

Very hot.

I don't know what you're talking about! My name is Tom! Officer Tom Hanson!

(Left) this is wrong.

This is so wrong,

Fuck. What happened to my left paragraph alignment button.

I dunno. Google keeps moving things around.

GOOGLE:

DO YOU MEAN:

Woah. Google's getting good at this

Salt & Stones

—and blood and bones

And ones and twos

And twos and ones

And ones and twos and

Ones and twos

And

Ones and twos

And

One and twos and

Ones

The things that I don't

Are the same as the things that I want

And ones and

Two of you ought to be

Better than one

If the other should faulter

The other one jumps in

And

Why am I dying of heartbreak, at 10:00 in the morning on an otherwise normal Tuesday?

It was any given Tuesday, but not otherwise normal, at all, actually.

I hadn't actually written in days or actually done anything normal—rather, normal typically.

‘Nothing was the same and yet everything was, and though I had promised myself to capture some of the sometimes ravaging thoughts with a written gesture, it had escaped me with every bit of apathy and nonchalance as it would; and it would stand to de defined that, if the thought were important enough on its own, it would come back around in due time—and that is, by the time it did indeed have to be written with intent, as not to escape from a realm of contemplation—to become an expanded and exaggerated thought, or idea—and immortalize itself into my infinite journal.

And it was. Infinite.

There were only so many moments I could cope with reflecting too deeply upon New York City, a monsterous machine of opportunity and money—a many of power and, surprisingly (or not) a modem for ritual.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.

copied and pasted from Google.

It is what

No room for error

No passing judgement

That one went faster

I better run for cover

Well-warrior, not a fighter—

I'll fight to the death for ever after

She said

“I've never been happier”

A paraphrase, actually

What a celebrity

All I asked was for protection

The fame and wealth can wait, j guess

A well warrior, never a fighter

Well,

As long as I'm healthy

Been thinking of traveling

That might be worth it

I've never been so frightened, I think

But always been selfish

Hold on,

I gotta run to another dimension

I left my stomach on ice

I've been eating my eyes out

My son is in prison

Ex husband, a fighter

The wifebeating's genetic

I'm just multidimensional

Now the demon's behind me

Over my right shoulder

I took my own crucifix

Like I lifted the boulder

I told you

I could bury my credits

With the devil

“You have no power here! “

If madonna's the good witch

Then what of Beyoncé

I took my sacrifice down to the alter.

What did you want

The coughs to stop haunting you

What did you ask?

I just asked for protection

But I've been surrounded by demons

Wife waters and cheating husbands

Not a shaman,

Just another lost one

I put some miles on these runners—

I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath

Give or take

Or give

Or take

Or

I'm not doing my job

If Shazam isn't on

I'm not doing my job

If I never show up

Just to run

And the show must go on

But if I want to try Juliard

I have to work harder

I have to hope for alone

I had to apologize to my body

I got depressed when my son went back to his father

Back to alaska

Where it all started

—I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in.

What do you cal that?

A comic relief.

(Or a con man)

Sorry, I got off track

When I got what I wanted

I bought it all back at the pawn shop

Just from a deposit

On a long haul

I'm the wrong one to fuck with

By a long shot

Fuck it,

When I walk off,

The show starts

And after,

An encore

(Of four of em)

My DJ brain's back on

I gotta get to work

I gotta get a job

I gotta learn to twerk

I should smoke more

I gotta show em what I've got

Never—ever tell God you're bored.

GOD

What's that?!

NOTHIN

SUNNI BLU

Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes!

I see you stomping through the ghetto

With some slippers on

In a rain storm

What the fuck is going on

Trash on the floor

Your asses are done

FORE!

(Meanwhile, at some golf course

The landlords are making sure

If there are more of us,

We're all dumb)

I'm only suicidal

When the lights are on

I'm only suicidal

When the night is gone

It's back to morning

Busses full of strangers

On their cellulars

I pray to God

To stop the coughs

She must be deaf or something

GOD

What.

Or it's just Illuminati

Gotta run to even be a thought

I've been forgotten in the dust

I never ever had a brother

Like the one I've got

(The sun I'm under)

I'll never ever cry under the moon,

I promise

I'll never wonder if he's coming soon

The answer was never

But I used to wonder

I used to have friends

They used me

I got used to being humiliated

I got used to being inhuman

Negative—negative.

I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day

I'll never sleep again

But that was a vacation for the ages

I got on a plane, went to bed

And never got up

—we didn't get far from the ground

There's no room for error.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

George Washington

John Adams

Thomas Jefferson

James Monroe

Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th

Oh shit, I was wrong

Turns out, my memory only can hold three.

That's a good number

I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this.

I never leave.

Then go away.

I live here.

I know you'd like to think that, but–

Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm.

What time is it?

I don't care

Are we gonna make a movie?

Depends; is it gonna make me money.

FINE.

I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three.

Are you serious?

I wish I wasn't.

I need you to do this.

Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me.

A blowjob.

Uh huh.

That's why you're bothering me.

I–would rather you just pick up the call.

Take a message.

I like ‘em like this.

I like ‘em like that.

I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

And I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

Mmm like that.

Like that.

I like ‘em like this.

I like ‘em like that.

I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

And I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

Mmm like this

Like that.

Like —

_____

The urge to eat had suddenly left me

I wanted a burrito,

(But I want to eat red meat)

I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses

Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently.

I probably should eat

(But probably shouldn't…)

I'm starting to bleed;

As if i'd been fasting

Perhaps, though I had been

But had so indulgently feasted

On calories enough to last me

Till after today

(or even till next week)

PAY ATTENTION.

Woah, to WHAT.

Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but.

This is real.

ARE YOU SEEING THIS.

I “see” it.

I should stop meditating in public.

You see this? I know everything about you.

Why?

I bought it on the internet.

What is it.

Metadata.

That's…flattering.

Yeah.

Wake up.

Why, where are we going?

Atlanta.

What's in Atlanta?

You see this?

Yes.

Do you know what it is?

Uh, it's a–

What is it?

It's a doll.

It's not a doll.

Oh, it's not.

Gimmie a dollar.

-_-

It's a poppit.

“Dr pimple popper”

Ew that's fucking gross.

I hate this.

Let me see.

Does s/he have backne?

Yes/No.

Great, i'll take it.

Fuckit.

Okay, I got to “whatever”.

You went too far.

What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit”

Yeah, you go past fuckit,

I did that!

But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far.

You've gotta go back.

Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever”

Oh trust me. There is.

So?

This is how he's been controlling you.

And?

And!?

Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled?

What!

That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission–

permission to what

Permission to ride.

…

Maybe I gave him the reigns.

What horse “gives” its rider the reigns.

Who said anything about a horse?!

Another Horse Mix.

Nice.

fuck .

FYCK.

I told you.

You know what…
Maybe that's my poppit.

What.

Maybe.

I'm so confused.

Oh, good–the reversal spell worked.

You did a reversal spell on me?

Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST.

Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you.

EXACTLY. COPY-CAT.

Moo.

Aww.

I'm a cat.

…

*face*

I mean “meow”

That's right. Cat.

…moo.

*face*

THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club—

“The Night Shift “

A miniseries

The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS.

It's WORLDENDERZ.

Yeah, that's what I said.

With a Z.

No, that's stupid.

YEAH IT IS.

DO IT.

Alright—

WORLDENDERZ

The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities.

They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good.

MELLO

Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ.

THE ORANGE JULIUS

Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer.

UNC

A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75.

QUASIMODO

Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred.

DOCTOR OSBORNE

Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions.

ORION

“A real nigga”

A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities.

Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022

C.C.S. Monroe

AKLA, Inc.

Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened.

She broke everything in my house.

Everything?

Ev-er-y-thing.

Hah, I broke all of his stuff.

All of it?

Everything, dude.

Hehe.

All of it.

No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever.

What did you do to this girl?

_

EXCEPT…

I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis.

She does— hate Dillon Francis.

So why would she go to this?

[They enter simultaneously.]

YOU!

YOU!

[They charge.]

EH.

[She--

—-

I don't get it, how do I write about magic?

I don't know, just say what it looks like---

Cut To:

Staring at Skrillex.

[It's...an anomaly.]

Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for…

Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it.

OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it.

...who did this…?

“The World Builders”

[Staring at Skrillex.]

[It's...an anomaly.]

Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for…

Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it.

OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it.

...who did this…?

“Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex.

I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe.

Pi.

Look, it's S U P A C R E E.

Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS.

To WHERE, tho?

Dude, I have something to tell you.

What.

It's bad.

Why, what happened?

It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay?

Okay...

Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now?

Trance? I don't know how to make trance.

This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just--

Just what?

—-

That's it. It just ended.

What?

Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons.

…

I think I might be a writer.

Oh no.

She's a writer.

Oh, no.

Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck!

$!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000?

($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10)

Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10.

What? No, they won't.

Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey!

[guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot.

D1- He just does it

See.

D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus.

See. That guy died. For $10.

D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more.

What, she has their souls?

Hearts and Souls.

Goddamn.

(Literally)

Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--?

Yeah, he's...he left.

So you swim into port that has a boat.

A boat--

Then you get on the boat.

Get on the boat.

That boat is going to take you to another boat.

Okay, another boat.

I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT.

YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT.

Oh, yeah, well--duh.

So then--on the second boat--

Well, it's more like a really big Ferry

(It's a monstrous cruise ship)

Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise?

There is no “poor people equivalent”

Well then--how do poor people rave on boats?

They don't.

That doesn't seem fair.

Yeah--where's the equality?

There's no such thing as equality in poverty!

Actually--

HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY”

I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this.

“IN GOD WE TRUST”

NO, that just means; the trust is empty.

It's empty.

This...this used to be a reservoir.

It still is...a reservoir.

Of water.

Oh.

It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian?

It's--

NO.

Jesus, listen.

NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT.

FUCKTHAT.

Oh, he was mad.

He was pretty mad.

He still is, mad.

He is, pretty mad.

Dad, what happened?

It doesn't matter, it just had to happen.

Why did it ‘have' to happen?

If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer.

Ogh, dude.

I know.

It's almost time to go back to work.

I know.

Oh, my God.

I know.

How long have we been in this Void--it's so random.

[The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.]

Hm. What is this?

[A look]

Can I have some?

[Another look.]

I like it. I want it.

[The Look.]

I'mma try it out.

OK.

__

Ask Him! He knows!

How to get to Skrillex? (still censored)

Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right?

I don't know.

What?

I--?

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

(It didn't happen.)

Fuck.

NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how…

Do you remember when?

Ah, I remember my first Skrillex.

I don't.

Oh My God dude. Flip Flops?

Yes, my feet are killing me.

Skrillex is in 10 minutes.

Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear.

You SWEAR?

__

Ooh...Beyonce...I like her.

We all like her.

Give her something nice.

Nice.

Very nice.

Very nice. What do you want her to dress as?

Oh her? ...she can come as herself.

[the next part]

Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit.

What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite?

((Oh, you can't write that))

Damn right I won't.

Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce.

That's cold.

She stole Umbrella!

She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--!

It wasn't written for anybo--

Actually, it was written for ME.

Oh yeah, huh.

Why does this song have 32 writers on it?

What the fuuuuckkk...

What.

We have Skrillex.

Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex?

Just--Skrillex.

“Just Skrillex”?

The Original.

Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex.

Like, the first one?

First one ever.

Where the fuck is my Skrillex?

I didn't take it.

STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex?

Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex!

You do?

Of course we do! It's paradise.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out...

Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm.

I will faint.

How did he DO this?

This Volcano emits *this* frequency.

Ah, try this--

Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one.

Do you?

Yeah!

Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you.

What happened?

Nothing happened. I'm just like this now.

What's that?

Nothing!

What is it?

Nothing!

It's Skrillex, isn't it.

I don't get how he DID this.

Someone give this man an honorary doctorate.

Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have--

--No Grammys--

--and he's got--

--Eight Grammys.

Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck.

I know, right?

Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none--

--zero Grammys--

--and you're experiencing this right now--

Damn, what the fuck happened to him?

She shat in my Grammys.

What! All Eight of Them?

YES.

I didn't shit in his Grammys.

You didn't?

NO!

Well, that's good, because--

I hired other people to shit in his Grammys.

What?

Best $80 I ever spent.

Why are we terrorizing Skrillex?

He started it.

He did start it.

See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions.

What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys.

Yeah!

Dude, that is disgusting!

Dude.

You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick.

Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though--

WHAT THE FUCK.

Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits.

Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that.

{SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.]

{Sweet Brown's Monologue:

Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and

She Stole All of our Music!

All of it?

NO! Just the HITS!

(awws)

‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS?

Hmmm Atrocious C and the--

Wait--what was it called again?

Oh shit. Black Jack Black.

That was it.

Right?

Yeah, that was the original joke, I think.

You think?

Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C

Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing?

YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college.

COVER BAND IN COLLEGE?

YEP.

Black Jack Black Jack Black.

Oh no.

Yep, he was there.

Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it?

Yeah…

I need it back.

No.

What? You said you didn't want it!

Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it!

Well, what'd you spend it on?!

Dude, where are we going?

If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure!

Please, no Skrillex.

PUMP THE SHIT.

Dude, is that Skrillex?

Go the other way.

What? Why?

TURN AROUND .

Seriously, what was that?

TURN AROUND.

“Turn arouuund”

She wrote the whole...movie.

What the fuck is a “movie”?

I should record this.

“record” ?

OK, FIRST OF ALL.

Skrillex has Magic Powers.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP.

Wow, 14 Pages.

What...language is this...

-It's In English

-It's in Skrillex.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ--

Ugh, yeah, I can translate this.

It's alphanumeric..

You algebraic motherfucker.

Damn. Is he still over there?

Yeah.

Goddamn.

….

Goddamn.

Hey. Uh. Come in.

...it's nice in here.

It is.

...did you take out a wall?

Window.

Oh. Okay.

Yeah.

Where's Dillon?

Oh, he's... chillin.

{Dillon Francis is sleeping like a--

No dead baby jokes.

I wasn't going to make a-

[He's laid out, alright.]

How long has he been sleeping like this?

...I don't know...awhie.

How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him.

I know. I have his phone…

That explains the inspirational breakfast messages.

What? I stopped getting mine!

I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste.

CUT TO:

Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones.

Woah. This is a lot of tits.

So many tits.

Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these.

Oh, I don't like that. What is that?

CUT BACk:

Oh, you saw that…?

I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number.

(shamefully) Oh.

On everyone's devices.

What the fuck.

Permanently.

Oh.

Yeah...You should go, now.

[Does]

Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted.

Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah.

wow , you really did it this time.

Now I can listen to their calls.

What? That's impossible--

NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO?

--What? Hello? Hello? Hm.

Haaah, I disconnected them.

Dude, what are you doing to these DJs?

FUCK THESE DJs.

FUCK THESE DJs.

FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there.

Hey, who is that guy anyway?

I don't know...he kind of looks familiar…

Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once…

Preform? Perform what? Music?

…

YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ.

...I'm...not a DJ.

HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM.

What does he do?

Who, that guy?

[Skrillex.]

I don't know.

What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”---

YOu should probably be careful with it...

Careful with it.

Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex.

Limited Skrillex.

Mmhmm.

Lets get it.

We probably shouldn't.

Mm. I feel like we should

Dude, it's limited.

___

Cosmo.

What?

You should probably stop drinking.

Why?

You're flying sideways.

Alright.

Try water.

WATAAAAR!!

__

Dude, how long have we been dead for?

Dead for?

Yeah, man.

I don't know.

Yeah, me neither.

She didn't make it.

Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay?

No, I mean--she's dead…

WHAT?

That's not ok.

I don't get it, what is she doing?

This is just how she does it, shut up.

Yeah, but what is she doing?

Skrillex!

He's here?

He's here!

I gotta go!

Get gone!

Skrillex?!

Yuh!

Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late.

Late for what?

Pretty much anything, you name it.

His...Name...Is…

DON'T SAY ITl

DON'T SAY IT!

DON'T SAY IT!

He's been sleeping for...several days.

[Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!?

Explain it to me!

Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this?

I'm in it!

Everything's in it!

Bruh.

I know, dude.

A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it.

I don't know how I'd take that, either.

I can't take it.

There's just one thing you should know:

What?

When the bass drops, so do we.

DROP.

What did you do with Dillon Francis?

I don't know. I can't remember.

You don't remember.

What did you do with that bitch?!

I don't know! I don't remember!

You don't remember?

Noone remembers.

Deadmau5: I remember.

Deadmau5 Remembers Everything.

This is why he is “like that.”

WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER.

So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story?

well , yeah.

Wait, which story?

All of them.

What the fuck!

Happy Birthday!

(he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite)

Thanks.

You're welcome.

K.

So.

YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons]

WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU?

I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.]

Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted.

I know dude.

UH-WHO ARE YOU?

I'm YO(U) .

[They do not battle. He just accepts it.]

Have you seen this rock?

It's...not a rock, it's…

Well, have you seen it?

Yeah I've seen it.

It's pretty sick.

Yeah…

(Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe….

I am not a man.

I'M NOT A WOMAN.

---he changed his name to a symbol.

I'M NOT A MAN.

“is _____________” a boy or girl

I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What dude. What the fuck do you want? What?

Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus???

If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago...

(to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus…

Hm?

Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of?

*wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping!

Chel.

HUH.

[they squint at each other suspiciously]

WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?!

Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!!

WHAT HAVE I DONE!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Dillon--What have you done.

WHAT--DID YOU--DO.

Just...Voodoo.

VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

(She's mad.)

((Oh, she's so mad))

(((Mad, what's that?)))

Bruh. She bleached my asshole.

What!

Yeah. And then tie dyed it.

Trending: Rainbow Taint.

Bro. How did you even find out about that?

-creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered.

What, it's PERMANENT.

Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls?

--I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__

I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI”

Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da;

Life goes on, brah--

La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on.

I don't know. I might be a writer.

She's a writer.

She's a writer! Oh No!

She's a rider.

Oh, that's robust.

Oh My God--It was that big?

(Nods)

You'd never know.

...I knew it...

What did you do with it?

I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks.

That's--wow.

Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right.

You're right.

I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now.

[in shorts.]

(she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously)

(Later)

We find that --

Woah.

What.

This is ridiculous.

It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous.

It is.

So wait. This dudes dick.

Oh my God.

Is so long--

right

He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business--

What is this.

--So it doesn't get in the way.

Lol. Pocket Portal.

Why did you DO this?

Who did this?

SIR.

STOP CALLING ME THAT.

SIr, it was “not enough.”

What?

I don't get it, so he's like a psychic?

Skrillex is a psychic.

Mm. No. No, he isn't.

Uh, yes he is.

No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it.

Oh.

Which future?

All of them.

Wait, which human era?

...

Oh, I've seen the movie.

How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet?

Oh. It exists.

What? It does?

Yes. And It is fucked up.

Like, in a good way?

just FUCKED UP.

Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night.

Oh shit. How was it?

IT WAS FUCKED UP

Like, in a good way?

JUST--

I JUST--

I JUST,

ADJUST.

There. There it is.

Adjust.

I don't see anything.

Veer Weest.

There!

There! Right! There!

*gasps* Wait, I think I see it.

I see something. Wait. Is that.

Adjust.

*gasp*

it's moving.

It is moving,

It appears to be moving.

I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it.

You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it!

I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic--

Interdimensional--

Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet.

(It's, basically a trash planet)

It's a trash planet.

Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things.

It has a lot of badness.

Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA.

What is your process?

This is it. Look. This planet--

Trash Planet--

Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species--

OKay--

And also other things that shouldn't be there.

Alright.

And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already.

It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet.

But I can't let anything [else] happen to it.

--AND DEN--

You caused an entire apocalypse.

Well, they called me fat, so.

Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids.

Aha-Ha.

IT'S FUCKIN--AHA--

W-Wait. Where did it go?

Where did he go?

Where did she go?

How did I get here?

How DID she get there?

I've been looking for you everywhere!