| L E G E N D S: ICONS. |

I know he's around here somewhere….

SUPACREE walks briskly into the night gripping

lol wat rave weapon is that.

THIS is NOt a RAVE WEAPON.

*hangs head shamefully*

Ugh, I don't wanna write this.

So don't then.

But you already

But i already did

fuck.

SUPACREE shoots DILLON FRANCIS 3 TIMES.

w0ah.

What the fuck!

YO.

Okay Look: Whenever you see a Dillon Francis–shoot that motherfucker.

Ok.

DILLON FRANCIS

“OK?!”

Ok.

THIs is a shoot-to-kill order.

Wow.

I respect that.

But how do we know which Dillon Francis it is?

What if it's not the right one.

They're all “the right one”.

Fuck dude, we're fucked.

I wouldn't say that…

Wait, HOld on.

Wouldn't they all be SUPACREE/

DILLON FRANCIS.

What.

WAIT, WOULDN'T THEY ALL BE

Don't say it.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

Ok.

So don't.

Ok bye.

*literally never returns*

Ever?

*NEVER*

NEver Ever?!

NEvEr EVVErRRRR.

Oh.

damn that sux.

lame.

Oh I get it. They're all Skrillex.

Huh.

If i'm Skrillex.

I am Skrillex.

And you're Skrillex.

You are Skrillex.

Oh no.

And Everything is Skrillex.

Everything is Skrillex.

F–

*dissipates into

CUT TO:

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING.

fuck , what was that thing that looked like a

[Incomprehensibly scary monsters]

*cities screaming and running in chaos and terrifying horror

*death and destruction of entire galaxies*

That's just Skrillex.

I'm gonna die like this, right.

*dude in hat and sunglasses*

Fame is like a drug, [kid]…

Is this a trailer

As soon as you get a little taste of it, you want more

Why would they do this.

i like it.

Why would I ever agree to do something like this?

DIE

I want to talk to my agent.

Ok.

*phone rings*

Hello.

UGHHHHHH.

Wait a minute.

No.

Let me explain…

Why is Dillon Francis Dillon Francis.

Ugh.

I don't know.

I don't know how he does that.

It's ergonomically and economically impossible

A phenomenon con commas and apostrophes on amazon's apostle

For your appreciation and consideration for pronunciation of this marvel

I would say a “superstar”

But a star's like a marble;

(Comical; ) [and small]

To Our [God] [though]

This comic started as an oracle

Then blossomed to an article,

From a particle

(To a saga)

Smart [Water], but to New Yorkers:

“Something's wrong with her.”

What!

I'm just hungry

I skipped lunch,

then skipped rope

lifted some shit,

then did crunches,

skipped dinner and dipped

Driftin in and out of consciousness on the bus,

Suss as fuck in my sunglasses,

And mask up.

UGH.

UGH.

UGH.

Now, for breakfast,

An egg McMuffin,

or better yet, a Jimmy Fallon,

With nothin on it–

What is that.

Comin right up!

Better yet,

I had it.

No you didn't.

I did, i had it.

MAN FUCK MANHATTAN

It's. A. Hole.

UGH.

I TOLD YOU.

[baked]

You know what though.

Hmm.

A jimmy fallon sounds hella good right now, though.

Mm. doesn't it.

We should go get one.

We should.

Lol.

>< ><

RAVEN// and SUPACREE// roll up to the MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU

///-PORTAL-///

Portal.

Portal.

Oh, look, a portal.

*snickering

WELCOME TO MCDONALDS

MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER.

Do they really still say that though.

Didn't they always say that at McDonalds.

They say that everywhere.

It varies.

WELCOME TO MCDONALDS;

MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

That sounds corny.

YEah, that sounds weird.

WELCOME TO MCDONALDS

WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU?

*snickering stonily*

Uh, yeah, can I get.

*snickering intolerably*

MCDONALDS WORKER (on screen)

. . .

MCDONALDS WORKER (inside, waiting for order)

[literally smoking blunt]

–Can I get a

–Two–

TWO JImmy Fallons

MCDONALDS WORKER

…Ok.

*snickering/laughing whispered*

“OK?!”

He said “OK!”

[An order for two Jimmy Fallons appears onto the screen; silencing their laughter abruptly.

*gasp* [still mad stoned]

[suddenly sober] *wtf*

MCDONALDS WORKER

Anything else?

Uhhhh–

….

Make that three.

[The order changes to three Jimmy Fallons]

…

MCDONALDS WORKER

Ok. Anything else.

*eyes*

Uh–make them combos!

MCDONALDS WORKER

Alright–anything else?

…depends, what's my total.

MCDONALDS WOKER

…

I'll have your total at the first window.

“The first window?”

PLease full forward.

OK.

wait

what the fuck. what .

I feel a song comin' on.

Oh God…

His eyes are red and filled with fire

To match my heart and my desire

“I'm unremarkable, honestly”, with regards to your Honor

I just wanna work harder,

So why won't you hire me

Work smarter,

Not harder

Go home,

Or

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd, it's gone.

God dammit, God!

WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT.

Of all the cosmos, and all the Galaxies

I AM THE COSMOS AND THE GALAXIES

You HAD to PICK mY R0Ck!

I AM THE ROCK.

CUT TO:

THE ROCK A.K.A. DWAYNE JOHNSON

[looking in mirror]

I'm a God.

Let us look just a little bit closer at this

*planet*

–specimen.

[Absolute Crisis, Panic, and Chaos]

It appears to be uninhabited.

WHAT.

No intelligent life.

Are you kidding me.

Wow.

Really, God.

Whatsoever.

Atheists:

See. Told you.

Others:

No, you were wrong.

Other Others:

There is a “God”

He just

She just

“Doesn't like us.”

I don't like it.

But it's.

*flatline*

Turn it off.

Turn it OFF?

Turn it off.

*flatline*

This is no ordinary McDonalds.

What McDonalds is ordinary?!

All of them.

They're ALL MAGICAL.

M A G I C A L?

*stoney seriousness*

MCDONALDS WORKER

*stoney nonchalonce*

…

…

…

Yo.

Yo

What's the total.

Alright, so that's–

–!

–...??

–Three Jimmy Fallon combos–

Yes

That is correct.

–Regular or Large?

…You didn't ask that before.

Large.

What–there's no small?

No.

LArge

Large.

*Presses one button*

$17.65

Like Seventeen Dollars?

Like $17.65.

*whispering amongst eachother*

Oh, that's cheap.

That's mad cheap!

Ahem.

I'm irrational but passionate

Attention span is as short as Skrillex

But at least

My wingspan's been extended a couple inches

With Dillon's dick in my hand

that's random and a half,

A bad habit I have

Magic: rabbits and hats

Fuck it, manhattan:

lets go halfs on a pad

Like mom and a dad on roll random

with danny phantom

Finally

ALRIGHT, YO:

FUCK JIMMY FALLON

FUCK TIMMY TURNER

AND FUCK DILLON FRANCIS.

CUT TO:

Walks In

WOAH.

Sorry!

WOAH, GROSS.

[Walks out]

I didnot mean that literally.

Well, that's his power, so–

What.

That's the way it works.

Wait.

I'm not waiting.

Dillon Francis actually has magic.

Everyone has magic.

–I mean like,actual magic.

Oh. Then yes.

[Kill Bill Theme, but weird and strange.]

“Kill Dill”

LAME.

Lame.

Lol.

First of all, hold up a minute.

PLEASE PULL FORWARD.

…dude.

Wtf.

What did we just order.

I don't know.

How could they know about a “Jimmy Fallon”

I know.

I made it up!

I know, i was there

PLEASE PULL FORWARD.

Pull forward! Pull forward!

Do you think it's a joke?

I don't know.

Pullforward!

OK.

Do you think–

I don't know!

That'll be $17.65

Order something else!

Uh–

Order a–

You do it!

Fine!

UH–

*doesn't care*

I'd like to add to my order.

Ok.

Alright. I'll add…

Don't do it.

One Skrillex Deluxe.

You're so stupid–

Sorry. We're out.

[3 Years and 46,000 bananas later.]

What.

What do you mean “out”

We're not currently serving Deluxes at this time.

Whattime is it.

“At this time”

What time is it?

We ran out of sauce.

Oh.

Oh.

So two JImmy Fallon Meals– Large–

Yes.

Yeah.

Is that all.

Yes.

Yes.

That'll $17.65

Here you go.

*the mcdonald worker inserts the card into an interesting looking chip reader, then produces a receipt and hands back the card, emotionlessly*

Thank you, please pull forward.

Again?!

How many windows are there?

*breaking 4th wall* a lot.

Uh…

ok

Did he break 4th wall

What “forth wall” IT's mcDoNaALDS.

PLease pull forward.

Ok.

Maybe he watches our show.

Like 5 people watch our show!

MAybe he's one of them.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Things

Season 8, Episode 1

“Letting Go”

A GURU watches intently as a small fire burns at the foot of a large tree on the outskirts of NEW YORK CITY.

MEANWHILE, SOMEWHER (who gives a fuck)

EXT. WHO GIVES A FUCK. NIGHT (OR WHENEVER, WHO CARES)

SKRILLEX is forced to stop his set due to a stage fire.

HOW'S THAT QUEST.

shut.up.

IRONY:

i·ro·ny1

/ˈīrənē/

noun

the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
"“Don't go overboard with the gratitude,” he rejoined with heavy irony"

Similar:

sarcasm

sardonicism

dryness

causticity

sharpness

acerbity

acid

bitterness

trenchancy

mordancy

cynicism

mockery

satire

ridicule

derision

scorn

sneering

wryness

backhandedness

sarkiness

Opposite:

sincerity

a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.
plural noun: ironies
"the irony is that I thought he could help me"

Similar:

paradox

paradoxical nature

incongruity

incongruousness

peculiarity

Opposite:

logic

a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character's words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.
noun: dramatic irony; plural noun: tragic irony

BEFORE:

Unseen, Season 6

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

SKRILLEX

Well, I guess it's New York, then.

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK.

ALSO SKRILLEX

No, wtf.

R A I N

Ugh.

VERY HEAVY RAIn

ihateu.

kbye.

Fukku.

i'm going on a(nother) world tour.

kool.

stay here tho.

alright.

*soaking wet*

*on tour being a rockstar surrounded by beautiful people*

…

! ! !

…

!!! !!! !!!

(with hot people)

*dies*

lol

…

…

…

deadmau5

…

*revives*

dgh.

*deadmau5*

…ok.

Deadmau5

Ok?

…ok.

*being a rockstar*

MEANWHRILE

FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

cant kill skrillex.

WANNA BET .

AND THE B.E.T AWARD GOES TO:

This duel makes the

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DILLON FRANCIS.

Thatsfuckedup

IT's not real.

This can't be happening.

*entire audience booing, throwing ribs & buckets of chicken*

DILLON FRANCIS

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, my friend, be free!

What the fuck!

What.

Was that Skrillex.

I think so.

*facepalm*

^^^^^^

the dudes who have been looking for Skrillex for 8 seasons straight.

lol

Alright wake up.

No.

YEs.

Why.

You're a DJ.

No.

You know what, you're right.

I'm always right.

*leaves*

[momentary peace]

Comes back with blowhorn

WAKE

*horn*

AH

UP

I am deaf.

No, you're a music producer.

I…hateyou.

COFFEE.

Yes ma'am.

Okay, so–

This is gonna be good.

Remember how i told you how I shapeshifted into professor meowingtons.

No.

Well.

Now i'm sad.

Don't be sad.

What did you do.

I fukked up.

I see that.

Why are you bringing me this.

I didn't honestly know where else to go.

Literally anywhere else.

But–you're my only friend.

–we're not friends.

AND THEN, HE SAID.

I'd like to Thank Beyoncé, for literally the greatest night of my life.

Someone stop this.

It's too late.

You promised.

I didn't promise you anything.

You promised me breakfast.

I don't think–

You said breakfast. This is breakfast.

I just meant

What.

Do you not like it?

I mean I–

It's all vegan.

Uh…

Even the cheese.

…

Just try it.

Try it.

Try it, or I'll kill you.

Uhhh…

I'm just kidding.

Ok–

Try it, or i'll kill myself.

Lol what a psycho.

But, the apron tho.

That part.

Mistrust,

Betrayal

Lets just adjust this perception, persay

The remembrance of what was forgotten has suddenly dawned on us

(not all at once, but)

“Once you get the hang of it”

He said,

But I'm still dangling, hanging from the ankle

“Say what you want to say,” I relay

“But say it to my face.”

( -The Hangman)

So far away

In outerspace

A YOUNG, MUSCULAR THUG is attempting to drown his assailant in a toilet.

JUST DIE ALREADY

Little does he know, his assailant is immortal.

I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I CANT.

AGGGH.

The struggle has resulted in quite the mess–still, he seems relentless in his endeavors.

His co conspirator watches with an eerily uneasy demeanor, before pulling him aside.

This is weird, man.

I know, right!

That motherfucker should've BEEN dead.

I know right.

This is crazy.

Yeah.

Maybe we should just

DIPLO is robbed of his Grammy Award, while relieving himself.

[no dialogue necessary]

{later on the phone}

They took my Grammy, man.

Oh shit, which one?

…The Good One.

Orange, Yellow, Blue, Yellow—

What are you doing

Counting the Diplos.

Ah.

“The Yellow Music Era”

Ah, take me back.

Can't go back.

Well, what color is this era.

EXT. EDX, HARDSTYLE STAGE. WHEN LITERALLY THE FUCK EVER.

Oh.

BLAAASASRRRRHHHHHZHZGGHHH.

Hm. I see.

Well, what'd they say?

Annihilation is imminent.

oh.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY.

A tiny conga for 90 dollars

I could die in here

Maybe I am just like you

I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room

And have my way with it

Just for a few minutes

Consume it, then move on

Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue

It's okay,

You're a white girl

So everybody loves you

Everybody loves you

Everybody loves you, no matter what you do.

As for me,

I can't say when I'm going through

But you couldn't do it, Madison

That's as bad as being at a standstill at rush out in Manhattan

With enough practice

I could buy everything in Sam ash

And make my own band with it

That's the plan at least—

But I been having a long death

And the afterlife isn't as after as everybody says it is

Don't hold your breath,

Unless you're ready to break bread

With the racists and skin heads

In heavy met mosh pits

Where I take my first and last breath

Always

Cause honestly, honey

Me and you are more the same than we first thought

And I'm sorry

(But not)

Cause I had a black mom

Whose tough love was lock-in me up

So I couldn't practice or be master of just one thing

But the only sport I'm the Jack of all trades off

Is hacking off

My self or my significant other

I guess it's a puffs plus

One and then done

God is funny

I grew up on wonder bread and Oreos

And less love then some

So no woneee I have a stomach

To work off

At Equinox

Once I can afford it

Till then

It's Whole Foods market

And blink,

But what do you know

It all goes in the same pocket

Nice butt

That's an awesome jumpsuit

A once piece in broad colors

And one piece I don't watch

Cause someone I told talk to

Broke my heart and my face

In one punch man

A punchline for anime fans

I'm an animal at em

And animal house is like

Soft porn

Where I'm from

(Horny)

Dinosaur

Cactus

Dinosaur

Cactus

Dinosaur

Cactus

Cactus

Cactus

Dinosaur

Cactus

Dinosaur

Caucus

Dinosaur

Dinosaur

Dinosaur

Dinisaur

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Kendrick Style Flow

Don't key my car:

You'll be callin collect!

I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head

Don't get up right now, son–

Go back to bed

I got kids all over,

be pulling my leg!

Luke, I am your Father!

Oh My

Oh My God

On top of the Watchlist

You make money off dope;

I made it on craigslist

Still be sniffin that coke

But now i'm on A list

I'm the greatest

Ey Miss!

I missed too many calls

(Airplane Mode)

I just started my day

(Whole Workload)

I might need a buffet

(Like Whole Foods)

Sashe, Pas De Bourre

(That's a code word)

No dance floor?
Now you're done for

My forte

Four-to-the-floor

Hardcore

I drop bass on the encore

Front row won't go

But i'm already out the front door

You don't know

I just hopped inside the helicopter,

or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup

That's supper;

Sleep/ Wake then

Surf's up

In the morning

When i got there

(Coastal show,

Shower,

Then another club

Encore

Front row lined up

I'm already at the front door

They want more

I'm too sore, for sure

Off subject,

I dropped in

Harder than Paulie

On my surfboard

(Another code word)

This is my world:

Another club,

Then I'm off for a monday

Or somethin'

Write another song

At the buffet

–Tales of a Superstar DJ

Amen.

Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives!

Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin!

GET ON THE GROUND.

NO!

GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!

SO?

IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE.

OK?

“OK”? YOU WILL DIE.

YEAH, AND?

Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish.

What do you do with someone who has no fear of death.

Give them life.

I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this.

*shrugs*

You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer?

Technically, three entirely separate individuals.

THIS ISN'T FAIR.

Do you ever think?

Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross.

I mean about the implications of these things!

You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened.

WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED.

I'm giving you planetary confinement.

What.

You–can stay here. On this planet.

No.

It's racist–and primitive.

No–

And you're black.

Please–

I'm leaving.

–don't–

–and i'm taking your portal gun with me.

YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?!

Genius.

Incredible.

I didn't think it would be a big deal.

He has two!

Okay, time for work.

But i didn't even sl–

Coffee.

Ouh.

…

…

—

I don't think we should be doing this

TIA

We probably shouldn't.

TAMERA

We very much shouldn't.

What are you guys doing.

Nothing.

SHh.

Summoning the devil.

It's not the devil.

It might be.

Hush.

Is that a pentagram.

Technically it's a star, with a circle around it.

That's a pentagram.

It's not a pentagram!

Is that a ouiji board?

NO.

Yes.

Let me see.

Ugh!

I wanna help.

MEANWHILE.

MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car:

Oh God, This.

Yes it is!

What!? Are you dead!

Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE.

No, you are!

Great, so you're dead!

I'm–not dead.

Is Bob Saget with you?

I'm not DEAD.

What about Fraiser?

What?

Kelsey Grammer!

God rest his soul.

SEE!

I'm not dead–

[beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar]

I'm a Legend.

What.

I wrote that/

You wrote that.

What.

Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman.

[Morgan Freeman]

I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something–

So, who isn't?!

It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on.

What is that?

I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5.

I don't understand.

No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world.

The fourth dimension.

I definitely don't know anything about that.

You're in it.

Whatever. Look.

[Morgan Freeman]

God, you have so many freckles.

[Morgan Freeman]

Look. I got problems.

We all do!

Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit.

Sounds like Hollywood.

Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all.

Oh?

Oh.

The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically.

Not even this?

[pause]

He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata;

You know who gave it to me?

…Who?

Got ya.

He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ;

Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this.

But you kind of have to.

I mean i don't have to.

YOU HAVE TO.

I–WHAT?

YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

WHY.

BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST;

Then don't exist…

I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW.

Come on Drew, knock it off.

Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore.

Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name.

Well, which is it?

It literally doesn't matter.

Yes it does.

Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better!

But how do we know which is actually “better?”

Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes!

Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES.

Don't mind if i DO.

Well, I do!

Why?! What's wrong?!

Yeah! What's the big deal!

I'm on a gluten free-thing

Oh yeah?

Keto. Or someshit. I don't know.

Oh.

Oh.

So you don't want these

No, I don't.

And you wouldn't mind if I–

Come on, man.

So Good.

Grow up.

Hey man, i'm pushin 40.

Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face.

You're no fun.

Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty.

Formerly.

Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty.

Hence the name.

Wow.

Phewf. I heard about that.

Yeah, me too.

Sounds real bad, how that turned out.

Such a shame.

Speaking of shame–

You're speaking, I'm snacking.

That's not that clever.

We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes.

That's not–wait a minute–hold on.

What now?

How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together.

[Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together.

–Let alone to agree to this!?

SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.

That's what she said!

Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal!

The key word, I believe, is “never caught”

That's two words!

SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that?

I WANT MY LAWYER!!!!

For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first?

WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE.

The Police are here.

Wait, they are?

Oh, thank God

Not so fast.

THE POLICE enter with full entourage.

Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit!

Groupies: Woooo!

STING

I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean.

Oh my God.

Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude.

That's not fair.

But it's funny.

THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You”

–and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this.

“WE”

“FIX ALL THIS”

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Nobody seems to know.

“--I'll be watching you–”

I was FRAMED.

CUT TO

a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into

Fuck, what the fuck happened after that

Idk I got off the train I guess

This is really terribly written

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Kendrick Style Flow

Don't key my car:

You'll be callin collect!

I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head

Don't get up right now, son–

Go back to bed

I got kids all over,

be pulling my leg!

Luke, I am your Father!

Oh My

Oh My God

On top of the Watchlist

You make money off dope;

I made it on craigslist

Still be sniffin that coke

But now i'm on A list

I'm the greatest

Ey Miss!

I missed too many calls

(Airplane Mode)

I just started my day

(Whole Workload)

I might need a buffet

(Like Whole Foods)

Sashe, Pas De Bourre

(That's a code word)

No dance floor?
Now you're done for

My forte

Four-to-the-floor

Hardcore

I drop bass on the encore

Front row won't go

But i'm already out the front door

You don't know

I just hopped inside the helicopter,

or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup

That's supper;

Sleep/ Wake then

Surf's up

In the morning

When i got there

(Coastal show,

Shower,

Then another club

Encore

Front row lined up

I'm already at the front door

They want more

I'm too sore, for sure

Off subject,

I dropped in

Harder than Paulie

On my surfboard

(Another code word)

This is my world:

Another club,

Then I'm off for a monday

Or somethin'

Write another song

At the buffet

–Tales of a Superstar DJ

Amen.

Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives!

Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin!

GET ON THE GROUND.

NO!

GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!

SO?

IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE.

OK?

“OK”? YOU WILL DIE.

YEAH, AND?

Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish.

What do you do with someone who has no fear of death.

Give them life.

I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this.

*shrugs*

You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer?

Technically, three entirely separate individuals.

THIS ISN'T FAIR.

Do you ever think?

Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross.

I mean about the implications of these things!

You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened.

WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED.

I'm giving you planetary confinement.

What.

You–can stay here. On this planet.

No.

It's racist–and primitive.

No–

And you're black.

Please–

I'm leaving.

–don't–

–and i'm taking your portal gun with me.

YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?!

Genius.

Incredible.

I didn't think it would be a big deal.

He has two!

Okay, time for work.

But i didn't even sl–

Coffee.

Ouh.

…

…

—

I don't think we should be doing this

TIA

We probably shouldn't.

TAMERA

We very much shouldn't.

What are you guys doing.

Nothing.

SHh.

Summoning the devil.

It's not the devil.

It might be.

Hush.

Is that a pentagram.

Technically it's a star, with a circle around it.

That's a pentagram.

It's not a pentagram!

Is that a ouiji board?

NO.

Yes.

Let me see.

Ugh!

I wanna help.

MEANWHILE.

MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car:

Oh God, This.

Yes it is!

What!? Are you dead!

Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE.

No, you are!

Great, so you're dead!

I'm–not dead.

Is Bob Saget with you?

I'm not DEAD.

What about Fraiser?

What?

Kelsey Grammer!

God rest his soul.

SEE!

I'm not dead–

[beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar]

I'm a Legend.

What.

I wrote that/

You wrote that.

What.

Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman.

[Morgan Freeman]

I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something–

So, who isn't?!

It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on.

What is that?

I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5.

I don't understand.

No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world.

The fourth dimension.

I definitely don't know anything about that.

You're in it.

Whatever. Look.

[Morgan Freeman]

God, you have so many freckles.

[Morgan Freeman]

Look. I got problems.

We all do!

Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit.

Sounds like Hollywood.

Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all.

Oh?

Oh.

The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically.

Not even this?

[pause]

He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata;

You know who gave it to me?

…Who?

Got ya.

He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ;

Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this.

But you kind of have to.

I mean i don't have to.

YOU HAVE TO.

I–WHAT?

YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

WHY.

BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST;

Then don't exist…

I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW.

Come on Drew, knock it off.

Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore.

Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name.

Well, which is it?

It literally doesn't matter.

Yes it does.

Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better!

But how do we know which is actually “better?”

Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes!

Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES.

Don't mind if i DO.

Well, I do!

Why?! What's wrong?!

Yeah! What's the big deal!

I'm on a gluten free-thing

Oh yeah?

Keto. Or someshit. I don't know.

Oh.

Oh.

So you don't want these

No, I don't.

And you wouldn't mind if I–

Come on, man.

So Good.

Grow up.

Hey man, i'm pushin 40.

Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face.

You're no fun.

Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty.

Formerly.

Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty.

Hence the name.

Wow.

Phewf. I heard about that.

Yeah, me too.

Sounds real bad, how that turned out.

Such a shame.

Speaking of shame–

You're speaking, I'm snacking.

That's not that clever.

We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes.

That's not–wait a minute–hold on.

What now?

How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together.

[Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together.

–Let alone to agree to this!?

SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.

That's what she said!

Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal!

The key word, I believe, is “never caught”

That's two words!

SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that?

I WANT MY LAWYER!!!!

For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first?

WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE.

The Police are here.

Wait, they are?

Oh, thank God

Not so fast.

THE POLICE enter with full entourage.

Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit!

Groupies: Woooo!

STING

I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean.

Oh my God.

Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude.

That's not fair.

But it's funny.

THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You”

–and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this.

“WE”

“FIX ALL THIS”

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Nobody seems to know.

“--I'll be watching you–”

I was FRAMED.

CUT TO

a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into

Fuck, what the fuck happened after that

Idk I got off the train I guess

This is really terribly written

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Yo

My horizontal monster wants ya

Could revert to vert, but lets keep

Our options open

Covert,

__

My heart is broken

No window open

Who left the draft in

–motherfucker

My heart is broken

I need a lover

I need a lover

Some one to hug me

I need a hug, but

And–

I'm not fit to touch

The hem of your garment

The tip of your dick

or fit enough to be your girlfriend

I guess i'll just have to live with that

When I have an itch,

I scratch it myself

I made the assumption you can't,

And moved passed it

But something's been calling me out, from the past

Something's been calling me back to the magic

I can't get around that

Do you hate me?

I can see that

I'll just make my way back to the beginning

Though I'm envious

And i pity her,

The both of you really

There's nothing left between us except

Insanity//Infinity

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

“Why am I a DJ again?” I wasn't quite sure, but here I was m on mh way to yet another open decks, and though I had been given a sense of shame the first two times I had snowed up at the place, I was for some reason still determined to play the techno joint, even if it was destined to be a disaster— I was sort of a disaster, almost as inwardly as I was out, and I had been pushed to ever extreme imaginable in the months and even hears leading up to the times—I had been thoroughly humbled over and over again, to the extreme and extent that it did t make much sense that I was still alive, all the more almost always miserable and fighting for survival without my needs being met, and yet, when I tried to humble myself even further, dumbing myself down to apply for some of the only jobs I was qualified for—minimum wage, entry level jobs, where most of my

Maybe I'm just taking. Much needed stroll

I don't want to be early to a place I've once felt

Unwelcome unwanted

No longer trying to get famous or be somebody

But my love for music goes beyond it

Like my mom said

Another Beyoncé song

Reminds me of what I'm not

and everything I lost

A husband.cl, father, a daughter a son, a lover

I just gotta walk it cf

I don't belong at all l, you know

Nowhere

But especially not in modern day Brooklyn

I just gotta walk it off

Better yet, I've got enough to hold me over

Till the morning

We all want what we can't have

A sister a brother

A mom god says sometimes it's important to get lost— I'm not mad, or that hungry, either;

The humor is, I get lost as often as possible

I didn't mean to to harm anyone, anyhow

I had time to burn off—

A lot of it

Don't wanna show up

Where I'm not loved

And not wanted

Everything and everyone around is just a

Bristle skinny white girl,

With more competitive senses

Than I even care to give attention

And that's it,

It isn't for the attention?

I haven't even a camera, actually,

Never played on this equipment,

Haven't had an adapter since —

Honestly can't even remember, and

I was almost a rapper, but tragically

My roommate's been bed ridden,

And suddenly I'm well enough read in

Aliester Crowley that I should have a mountain of money

Or something to show for it,

Other than tragedy, but perhaps fail would indicate a practical excuse to put my mixer in the pawn shop with my drum machine

And the rest of my hopes and dreams,

You know?

Cupcakes and ice cream;

My ex husband haunting me in dreams

And me believing that I'm destined to be anybody at all

Aw, I lost Whole Foods—

It's alright, the Hot bar's all closed

I'm confused at how I'm supposed to be useful

To another human

Consumed with calorie consumption

Creating definite deficits is detrimental as the gym is,

I recon, cause overnight my roommates turned into the devil,

Fuck

Missed my stop being an artist

It's alright, I've got more time to kill, as always, being homeless

No worries,

I'll get audio technical anyway,

Anyday now,

Maybe on my next paycheck

For now I'll take a rain check

I don't even have a rain coat

Or an umbrella

Now, on the way to Hell Phone

Let's see which 20 pound model

Put my lack of Serato

Into the pawn shop

One for all and all for one and

I only got one Jimmy Fallon, not even on me

I don't worry about shod much,

Except for holding my breath, avoiding the sh. Car with vomit, of course

Why do white people want me to fail?

I just want one man for one night, I decided

I don't worry about God much,

When I fuck up, it's funny to her

And when I win she's honored, so

I know it's not all for nothing

For the most part I'm just a dumb girl

An almost always starving artist lost at Bogary's ln the corner, smelling popcorn

I walked in at exactly 10:10 PM, but I was admittedly nervous, as stated at the door—it was my third time at the venue, and I had always left feeling just a bit nervous or off, the second time missing my slot completely after hurting to leave Equinox, transit delays and my own lack of a gps causing me to arrive even later than I had planned and defaulting on my slot—which actually relieved me—I had never seen or played on record box, and the last CDJs I had touched were so long ago in the beginning of my DJ journey that it was almost as if I had never played on them at all, most of the clubs and small bars I had played for professionally being synced with Serato. I was unfamiliar enough with even my own music that I wasn't sure what I was playing, it had fixed myself to go, almost obstinately? And decided that if I bombed it would be the perfect excuse to put my FLX-6, which I didn't even outright own, into the pawn shop alongside my drum machine— I had enough moral decency not to sell something I didn't yet own, hooking that I in enough time I would be able to upgrade, sell it, and use the sun to pay off what I still owed—but I had been hungry for months, washing my clothes in the sink and, now that winter was settling in hurriedly, had become almost hopeless in that I would ever secure a job

I had almost forgotten that I was a DJ — I danced nervously in the crowed after abandoning my things in the back—my backpack, full of my sweaty gym clothes and shoes, some simple toiletries, and whatever else I was sure I needed—two pairs of headphones— actually even favoring the in ear plugs I had been given by Nick, the drummer who had mysteriously almost ghosted me, and probably would have, had I not left the chord to my flx 6 in the rehearsal space we had been sharing—

I had 22 hours on my flash drives, more than enough, but even probably too much— I had attempted to l key the selection before leaving, but between the storage issues on my computer I had practically failed at even synchronizing my library at all— I had destroyed one of my last remaining pairs of headphones, attempting to watch tutorials for the equipment which would be used for the performance— both of the DJs had displayed the shapes of stars in their insignias as it seemed almost purposefully, causing me to storm from my hotel in a fit of rage, throwing my headphones as I once had enraged by the outright lack of actual talent a chosen DJ working for insomniac, or the fakest DJ I had ever seen up to that point, DJ Soda , fed up with the Asian financiers pollution of the dance music industry. By way do promoting talentless

Virgo

Heaven can wait

Wiggle Room

The flower shop

Kind regards

Mood ring

Bossa Nova

I left with exquisite sensory overload and again a sense of relief—I hadn't played at all, as my files were for some reaosjnincompatible—and I hadn't even in the slightest sense with any recollection of what I had done wrong, besides not having spent hundreds of dollars—which seemed to be the game, and now I only wanted and needed to understand one thing: where would my money come from?

It indeed, also is me—

A parallelogram,

a hypnocurrent,

A synchronistic symmetry

What's to become of us

12:12

What's to become of us

12:13

+1 always equals the other,

Always just one off

11:12

Another hypnotist

Ever since it's

43 is

10:11 is

12:13 is

just a little Off

So pretty I could never touch

Yo,

What's that like?

‘I thought to myself'

I just wanna know.

I wanna know your story

Well, here I go–

It doesn't take long,

You know

Just stick with the program,

Hope some of it sticks at all

Don't let the tears fall out, at all

Don't let the tears out, no

Don't go

It is in a different order;

A whole different story

But it's getting colder

on this whole half of the globe

It doesn't matter to me,

Because it can't

And

It just happens to be because

It is

There's nothing left between us but the wind

There's nothing left between us but the wind

It's been a while since i've been injured this badly

My heart is so broken, I wonder if it was ever whole

I hadn't quite captured that monster
I tend to get jealous

Even when it don't make sense

I'm not a well woman

I'm envious,

Ingenious, even

Same as it always was

Friends with benefits

My name is Sami

If you ask me

I've got business

In Manhattan

Better run along to make it better, now

If I can

another random dance

Another heart attack,

A mild one

It goes on for miles and miles

Why I had my eyes on

I'll never know

It's hard at the front lines,

You're always on camera

I'll never be good enough

I'll never be worth it

Let it happen

Lift the curse up

I miss having the nerve just to swallow it all down at once

Bury my head in the sand

As if anything was random,

Rather than calculated

If i could rest for a second and take it all in

That i might as well say I won't make it

It's all up in flames, now

Don't be mad

It don't matter to me

I don't care about love

About nothing, and nobody

I surely don't care about me

See

It's all up in flames now

And it's kind of unlikely

That I'll see you this time round

But you know where to find me

Or how

I don't let any tears down

The whole two hours

I'm almost proud of it

I don't care who she is

I'd just rather not be reminded

Out of sight

Out of mind

I've been keeping my eye on

But my mind off

Round and round, gone

Like a fire alarm

At least the last time i heard on

Talking in shapes

But i'd rather not talk at all

The whole world is on fire

I hate girls,

Cause i never was one

I only like white light to quench my thirst

It's a fire alarm

And the black smoke

Goes up

Now, i don't smile a lot

But i talk to God

very often, look

It's a game of luck,

And i've lost some

I've lost

All ive got

I got nothing left

Nothing left to want

I just want a friend

or a plug

But i've got to get off some

I bought a rocket to mars once

I've come back, now

Funny story

I was sorry, but

Now i'm more glorified for it

Guess you caught me

What a number huh

I should call it up

A postpartum stutter

Never a woman i was

Or a girl

but a mother of someone

Who might have forgotten

No, I'm never gonna look like that

I'm never gonna be like her

I'm never gonna sound alike

Like a God

I just worship the front lines

Figure it out

I was never enough for no one

Was never a girl

But was somehow, instead

Born a woman and mother

I mortify man

with my body

How grotesque,

To be dead,

It is

How hazardous,

To put this on

It's just a show

It's just a job

Such a number

I should just shut up

I should wash my hands of obsession

But love's just a body

I rather admire it

Have I done enough

Have I done enough yet

I've been out of my body,

But never like this

If you can make me come once

You can make me come twice

Nevermind, nevermind

Of men and mice

I've been counting my options

And rocks

On the wrong ones

It's only a dolomite

I never promised

I wouldn't promise,

If i had promised to

(What. Ever.)

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!

–I'm dead to everyone!

Don't do this.

You wanted to come to the other side.

No, I didn't.

We'll you're here anyway;

Might as well stay awhile.

With eyes like burning fire

And saddles for the riders

The horse begins to gallop

(or the horses, rather)

On the mark to beating drums

To move them forward faster

What the fuck is this.

idk. Kx5.

*-*

!_!

Here u go

Wat is this.

it's a dragon.

Oh, thats nice.

Ya.

Whats it do.

Idk. dragon things.

ok.

Don't put it in ur bathroom.

Why.

idrk.

Hm.

†

Hey.

Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away.

It's me, Ryan!

No, Get out!

I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade!

Gross!

It's just Ryan! I promise!

NO. GET OUT.

Lmfao.

Right.

This show is fantastic.

Who was that.

Fucking–Kaskade again!

Are you sure.

Ugh.

Looks like Ryan.

Kaskade is Kaskade.

{shrugs] Dudes a creep.

“Kaskade Ruins Lives”

Is this the same episode as before?

Eventually, yes.

Wasn't I doing something

Are you goona let this go?

Um.

Well I'm fucked.

Why, what happened.

Obsidian.

That should do

Unsobsidian.

Okay, i'm fucked,

Well, what's this?

An Oreo Cookie.

I mean, sitting next to it.

Oh, its a portal gun.

Raves are not just raves–

A party is not simply a “party”

–These big festivals

–they're diversions.

–DIstractions.

Distractions from what.

If you were supposed to know,

–you'd know.

it wouldn't be so important that you go.

Why is it?

These ancient rituals…

It's occult magic.

They've got it down to a science.

The government funds this.

The government funds everything.

WoooooooW.

It's not really a secret, if you can google it.

‘-complications.'

I'm lost somewhere, gone

HIppopatamus

feeling quite off in the galaxies,

galavanting

Gazing at Daisies

Aces and spades

Gone from Heaven to Hades for days

On the A–

Adjacent

Recently dismantling adjectives,

Lampshades and matching curtains

God it hurts, every day that I think about you;

But how can i be about you when

You don't even see me, do you

Signature consignments,

Wrong environments and irony is,

I wasn't invited–

–but invented it

WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?!

BEcause, you're in a movie.

WHAT.

You're stuck in a Hollywood movie.

The Master Sorcerer

Of the Grand Illusion

You just want it so bad

You don't know what you're in for

Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge

Insatiable Sexual Appetite

Great, now I have to explain myself.

You don't have to.

What's this space for?

Oh, that's the red room.

[The Red Room]

Well, obviously, but–

But what?

What's it for?

I don't think anybody should read this.

HEY. Participation Only–

Oh!

No peeking!

You ever feel like you're doing too much?

Yeah, but not for money.

Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to–

deadmau5 .

What? No–

DEADMAU5.

Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat?

It was a mouse. I know the difference.

Do you, though?

Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City.

So.

In Queens.

Oh.

That's mathematically impossible.

I mean it's not–impossible.

No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible.

Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science?

What is this.

Just–enjoy the rave.

No. What is this.

Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC…

NO. What is this right here.

BEFORE:

Hey, you still got that balloon?

Yeah.

Lemme see it.

Dude, what are you doing?

…I'mma go catch me a DJ.

THIS IS NUTS.

I can't feel my face.

What do you call this?

Collateral Damage.

Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom.

ok .

And–uhh–

and.

Uhh–

Why did you call me over here.

Cause i can.

Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo”

Voodoo is magic.

It's just music.

W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O

I don't know.

Fuck dude, I fucked up.

Once again–

Of course you did.

What did you do this time?

I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass.

Nice.

Way to go.

Yeah.

Wait.

…

Did you just say.

HE JUST

He deserted me.

SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE?

ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT?

JEFF

Alright, lets go.

WHO DID THIS.

So what's this place.

Lets not let this conversation resurface.

This is a 21 Plus Event.

What about VIP

VIP is 25 Plus.

What about that place.

Sorry kids.

[NO ENTRY]

We gotta get in there.

So then they wanted an Encore.

Did you give them an encore?

NO, i was already at my hotel room.

Then how did you know that they wanted an encore?

WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE.

FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER.

Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC?

Have you literally never been out with rich people?

No, I literally just got rich.

Oh, nice.

So, wait, like–

Here we go.

Dillon Francis has just always been rich?

Uh-huh.

And Skrillex has always been rich?

Yes. Definitely.

And deadmau5.

deadmau5 is Canadian.

OH MY GOD.

W E L C O M E

I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this.

Alright.

Sign this waiver.

…this is a…pretty heavy packet.

I'll wait.

I've never signed an NDA like that in my life.

Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz

Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon.

And like, everyone knows what it means.

Everyone knows what an NDA is.

I appreciate the sentiments

Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically?

Autopilot, go.

Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot.

You're on autopilot.

I don't really have to think about it anymore,

I'll have to sleep on it

Wear a white t-shift,

Hear the applause of the audience,

Eat it

You wanna know what I think?

You want to know what I'm drinking?

You know what I need?

An Icee,

(cause I see you typing)
An awful Omnipotence

A God of Mirages

No more carbohydrates,

I gotta get all thin;

Forgot to acknowledge

Whether or not i'm turning this off soon

I are.

I…”are”

I are.

Infinite Reality.

OH. I. R.

IR! IR!

IRV

I ARE.

Suddenly,

I remember the taste of talcum powder

As If I were

Moving backwards

In time,

Like,

Why, God on earth would

My mom let me

try that,

But if i'm honest,

Fuck man, I hate deadmau5–

There's just too much in here.

Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple.

What is this, MATH?!

THIS IS AERODYNAMICS.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS

DId you mean what you said about that?

I meant everything I said.

Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem

In realtime, listening to deadmau5

Having a partially out of body spiritual experience,

Entirely fucking sober

FACEPALM

BLŪ

8facepalming dramatically in frustration*

NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS.

beepboop.

YO.

Oh,

I forgot my open form poetry,

or my mom

How my mom once

allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder

But who can blame her

That was a hard one

It was a past life

And now ive

Got

Another

One

HOly shit what version of the cube is this.

1D.

What.

You'll get it.

Wait.

Have you ever stopped for a minute to think–

I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think”

[Literally stops for a minute to think.]

No fucking way, uh-uh.

Come on, man.

No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5.

Come on–

NO.

–that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place.

Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this.

What are you doing.

Voluntary Ego Death.

I–

Wait. Why would you.

Get out of my brain.

I am your brain.

Take care, now.

Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil.

That's because she's definitely more evil

ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS:
WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX.

MEANWHILE

INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY.

*rings doorbell*

AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME.

I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question.

Oh.

Fuck.

What dude.

We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into.

Are you serious?

It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude.

What do you mean he “left the dimension”

He entered a portal.

He– wait, excuse me.

A portal.

A “portal”, dude?

Yeah; a portal.

What do you mean “a portal”

A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal.

Uh huh.

Excuse us for a second.

What the fuck is this dude talking about?

I don't know, man.

Humans don't use portals!

I know man.

What the fuck!

Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human.

He looks human.

Yeah dude but, we look human.

Duh! Cause we shifted!

Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter.

Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one.

Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good.

I highly doubt that.

Why?

Cause I'm the best.

No, I am.

Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters!

Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right?

I hope not.

No, not like that—like

Okay, okay, whatever, let's just…

Wait, where'd he go?

Excuse me.

What up.

There was just another guy over here just now—

He was like—you know—normal looking guy

Tie die* shirt

Yeah.

Did you see him.

Yeah, I saw him.

Alright, cool, where'd he go?

He left.

What?!

That was fast!

Yeah, well…it happens.

Are you sure?

Yes.

*actually is shifter*

[as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.]

Awww, dammit,

Now we're never gonna find this guy.

Never say never.

Whatever, we're dead.

We're always dead.

Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms

Oh, yeah, that.

Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this.

It is useless.

*enters portal potty*

[

Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis?

That's great, I was just getting to that.

19 Pages. Nice.

…no, 12.

What.

[11:12]

Okay, I'm gonna kill him.

Oh, I banished him.

With my fists.

Nice. Tits.

Nice tits.

Thx.

Hey man.

Hey what.

Remember that smudge on the lens.

Yeah.

It just got bigger.

… did you try vinegar instead of Windex.

Yes.

–IT'S NOT A SMUDGE.

Did you try Windex with Vinegar.

–IT'S NOT A–

Shut up.

I'm. So. Hungry.

Look, do you want this, or not?

Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence?

Just quit, it. Dillon Francis.

WHERE IS IT?

I don't know.

Lets kick this up a notch.

ILLUMINATI

What do you want?

…

I want the full package.

ILLUMINATI

Okay, I'm gonna need specifics.

How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati?

[INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING]

Hm.

It was a pretty specific list.

I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan

Well, The Mayor eats fish.

Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of?

I don't know. We meet in the Matrix.

This is for you.

Oh.

Do you like it?

I–

It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only!

YOu BUY a Membership.

Yeah. And WOMEN.

HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO.

SHHH.
Oh no.

What.

What did you do?

I gave her my credit card.

The Heavy One?

Yes, and–

“AND”

–access to the black market.

Cool, I got it.

Oh, another auction.

Of course another auction.

What'd you buy this time?

A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead.

What are you gonna do with that?

Wouldn't you like to know.

Ok, gross.

LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX

I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans,

It's a comfortable, safe space.

Very inviting.

Everyone is happy.

What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest.

Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya.

Hey, I'm looking for this shithead.

Oh, that dude?

Yeah, have you seen him?

Fuck, I wish this never happened.

LIL BIIIIITz

If you don't know who deadmau6* is–

GET OUT.

Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen.

Maybe just to me, but.

Are you sure that's the right guy?

Yeah, that's gotta be him.

Is he wearing glasses?

Ugh.

Oh wait.

Damn.

‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think'

Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind–

Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music.

Are you sure this is real?

No.

I love this.

Just shut up and do your job.

What a nightmare.

PLease HElP ME.

Hm. That can't be right.

What.

This translates to

H E L P M E

Oh, shit, I gotta go.

Shouldn't you be working right now?

I'm always working.

Shouldn't you be working right now?

I'm at work.

Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here.

Where are you going?

To shoot myself.

Wow, that's one hell of a smile.

Just–take it.

I'm sorry, i can't accept this.

What is even happening in this series?

Like, a lot

WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN.

*not settling down*

*lil biiiiiiiitz*

You know what I wonder?

I wonder this

I'm sober.

I'm just sober sally over here.

I didn't get sober.

I just am.

Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite

than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning

Or–just–whenever–

To wake up whenever and be like

“OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE”

And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again.

‘OH NOOOOOO”

*gets faded*

“It's all goooooood”

No, it isn't.

But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a

It's not even a happy medium,

It's more like a

median-medium

But you know what?

It makes happier moments more happy

And shitter moments less shitty

Because i don't have this like drastic spacial

Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy.

I get to feel things way more intensely.

I don't have to wonder, ever

“oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up”

Or like

“would it have happened this way if I was sober”

At all.

I'm just level–

No false sense of

Pretty much anything.

But i do wonder, though–

Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then

GOT sober–

like , what's the breaking point

What's the tip?

I always have to sit back and wonder

“What did you DO?”

Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly

“I don't drink anymore”

I always wonder, and it's like–

no disrespect or anything thing but…

I really wanna hear that story.

lol .

I know you don't wanna tell it

(if you can)

But wanna hear it.

Cause from my point of view.

IT's probably hilarious.

I know. I'm a dick.

Holy shit. What is that.

Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year.

…is that a penis?

WELCOME HOME

It's a giant dick- in-the-sky!

GOD IS REAL!

JESUS

Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing.

What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this.

JESUS

I literally can't.

I know, but.

Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that.

You've gotta tell him.

NO, RYAN.

WELL, WHY NOT.

BECAUSE, RYAN.

WHY.

DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL.

Damn, am I in here.

Nice.

Of course I am.

Well, how'd that happen.

This is like a sea of cellphones.

Perfect.

It was a red car;
I wasn't all there,

And if you want her,

You can have her

Fuck.

What.

I forgot the rest of the verse.

It's ok. We gotta move on.

No, I gotta go back.

For what.

For my fans.

Aw. What's this.

IT's a ceramic mug.

Wow, that's nice.

I made it

Wait. You made that?!

Yeah.

With your hands?!

Yeah.

Why would you do that?

For you.

What.

I made it for you?

Like, you thought of me first, then you made it?

Yeah.

WHY?

Cause i love you!

WOW.

Fans are awesome

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

*Sometimes.

*vomits*

…

*dies*

…

*godlessness*

[Devastating DJ Moments]

I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?!

“Music particles”

UGH.

what .

That's it. Don't be smart around me.

Uh. I'm not smart?

No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence.

“Sorry”

Stop saying that. This is America.

S–

Don't say it again. Apology not accepted.

Don't look at me like that.

Like what.

With your face.

*face*

Quick: Say something stupid and random.

…I like anime.

Oh good, that worked. Thanks.

Where are you going?

Idk somewhere else.

Really, that's it?

Yeah.

That's all you have to say/

That's literally it.

Are you seeing this.

Yes.

So what's the problem.

Oh no, she's stuck in a loop.

Throw the whole fan away.

[DELETE]

Did it work.

Did what work.

Oh, good. Cool.

Wait.

See ya later.

Did what work?

I wish i could just forget about this.

Everything?

Yeah.

Look, this is between me and God–okay?

GOD

Don't drag me into this.

You dragged ME into this!

GOD

Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in.

Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here.

Like what.

Look, I love you.

Great, now what do we do?

Bury the body, I guess.

*shrugs*

Wait, what happened?

Somebody dies.

OKay, me first.

Other Three:

Who wants to go next.

*still in shock*

Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story.

*Crying* I'm ruined.

What! You went broke?

No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire.

I thought you were a billionaire.

I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened.

“Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire”

I got to admit, man, I did it to myself.

I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do

Oh, like what.

Not that song.

What, why not?

You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5.

What's the difference?

Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?”

No, it isn't.

How is that not different?

That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog.

You think I look like a hedgehog.

No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off.

NO, i like this song.

Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off.

I'm gonna turn it up instead.

I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs.

Should I bass boost this song.

NO, PROBABLY NOT.

Oh, why not?

Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop.

OH HOW COME

BECAUSE

WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG

NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS

*DROP*

[INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE–

PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK –

HOLE.

ohhhhh .

What a hoe.

Nice, that's a whole episode.

Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever.

Shazam, what is this.

SHAZAM

…i don't know.

What do you mean you don't know.

SHAZAM

*panicing*

IDONNO

WHAT DO YOU MEAN–

SHAZAM

IDON. NO.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Is this deadmau5.

I'm not sure.

Sounds like deadmau5.

It sure does.