Land Your Man

Land Your Man

By Carla NellComedyEducationSelf-ImprovementSexuality
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Land Your Man episodes

  • S2E3 - S2:E3 – FLATTERY OR FELONY, BIDET TRIPPIN’ AND FACE SITTIN’
    Episode Notes

    S2:E3 – FLATTERY OR FELONY, BIDET TRIPPIN’ AND FACE SITTIN’: CARLA AND DELIA DISCUSS MEN LOVE & SEX, A COMPLETE USERS GUIDE FOR WOMEN

    “I love having sex with guys. It’s great.” - Delia

    And thus kicks off another wonderful episode of Land Your Man! Episode three begins with talk of a chest congestion fetish, shoulder shimmying stage direction and a message from a new listener that has made Carla’s life. Ladies and gentlemen, we are fulfilling our promise, helping the people navigate the dumpster fire that dating (specifically online dating) can be. Bless you new listener as now Carla and Delia are having quit their job fantasies, Carla’s includes touring the world with the podcast while Delia’s involve highly choreographed dance numbers.
    Delia updates listeners on her current relationship status. Spoiler alert, it’s complicated and ultimately a fluid situation but with a happy ending. Delia checks in with Carla about the challenge she was issued the week prior. Even though it was a technical fail, Carla trumpets all the ways in which the week was a success. Men swinging into town for a visit and a slight obsession. The ladies discuss the power of the “good morning beautiful” text, when flattery may turn into felony and how to catch a Carla.
    Finally the gal pals get to this week’s book, Men, Love and Sex: A Complete Users Guide For Women. The book surveys 1,000 men on a variety of topics including love/marriage/sex/intimacy. The book is written like a collection of magazine articles which makes it easy to pick out the little nuggets (Carla loves her little nuggets). The girls debate all sorts of topics related to book chapters, especially regarding love and sex. Delia recommends challenging yourself by leaving the lights on and Carla shares what a guy can do to really get her engine revving. The gals dive into Amazon reviews and what book is up next.
    Delia plans on launching her online dating profile writing business so please write to [email protected] to get her help. The gals are wondering what is the sexiest thing that anyone has ever said to you or that you have ever said to someone. Please share via social media or hit us up via email.
    In This Episode:
    Bumble (try the app!)
    Tinder (try the app!)
    Newmatchcollective.wix.com
    Brandon Event Management
    Mcistudio.weebly.com
    https://www.chefboyardee.com/
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodachrome
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Connection
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    1 hr 6 min
  • S2E2 - S2:E – GOOGLE SEARCHES, SANTA BUTT PLUGS AND FESTIVE FUCKERY
    Episode Notes

    A stirring rendition of silver bells kicks off our hosts first ever Christmas Spectacular!

    The girls are festive as fuck with poinsettia wreaths and tiny gift boxes on their heads. After Carla is called out for denying basic rights like food and water and red wine, Delia discusses her would be rider. Through the power of positive thinking Delia looks forward to meeting her llama named Sassy. This episode is like Hallmark romance with a little more balls slapping ass and the places we’ll put mistletoe this year to foster an all new Christmas traditions. We hope you never look at this holiday the same way again.
    In this ABSOLUTELY NOT kid friendly show the girls explore the wide world of Christmas fetishes as outlined in the article by Harmon Leon. Carla comes clean about a gentlemen she liked who dressed as St. Nick and gave her a hitch in her get-a-long. Delia explores why this time of year may breed fetishes… sitting on laps and a naughty/nice list. The girls explore a particularly interesting fetish which we get to role play letting baby know it’s Christmas Eve. The ladies discuss the fetish line drawn in the sand and the specificity of some fetishes. Carla shares how she longs to be the last Saab owner in the whole world.
    Delia launches into the intriguing world of Santa porn and how Porn Hub caters to every flavor of Santa Porn. She proclaims her writerly love for porn titles and finds the production value of Christmas porn spectacular, while Carla in a quick google search finds 303 million results for Christmas porn. The gals are urging people to proclaim Merry Christmas! Since we are saying so many other things being the godless liberals we are. The girls touch on the Baby It’s Cold Outside debate with an eye towards women taking responsibility for their sexual appetites and saying, “Yeah baby, it is cold outside. Let’s sit pants less under a blanket near the fire.
    Delia ponders the question of sex at the parent’s house while visiting for the holiday season and Carla tackles this question head on with a charming memory visiting her long distance lover. The girls discuss foreplay and Delia comes out as someone who might have a particular fetish regarding everything sparkly this holiday season. Do not let this lady in a Big Lots or Michaels! A Sexy Santa on Amazon yields more than 8000 hits for costumes and sexual play things.
    And the two words that stop Carla in her tracks. Clown. Porn.
    Delia argues against the Santa uniform fetish and shares one of her most treasured Comic Con memories as it relates to fetishes. Carla waxes poetic about an interesting stage experience. People are more horny than usual during the holidays and Delia learned about a sub season of the holiday season, cuffing season. The girls share a preview of what’s to come.
    If you have any fun Christmas memories, please inbox us! On behalf of Land Your Man podcast, have a safe and satisfying holiday season!
    In This Episode:
    https://www.thekindland.com/5-strange-christmas-fetishes-617
    https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/d3b9qm/santa-is-a-surprisingly-popular-sex-symbo
    www.pornhub.com
    www.hallmarkmovies.com
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    41 min
  • S2E1 - S2:E1 – SOULMATES ON TINDER, SLUT BONOBOS AND THE ORANGES OF SEX
    Episode Notes

    You guys… is this thing on? Testing 1, 2… testing… Welcome one and all to season two, a season dedicated to S-E-X. SEX! After a longer than planned hiatus due to computer crashes and adult asthma Carla and Delia are back! Delia is back on tinder and looking to find “the one” (this seasons’ hottest debate) because you can find “the one” anywhere and Carla is back on Bumble because she is a baller, shot caller… and this time she’s taking a zany approach to some success! Carla shares her Thanksgiving visit with family, the action in Northern California and the awesomeness of car sitting in the rain. Delia shares that she is trading in her “numbers” game with dating to date just one guy.

    The ladies talk about the frustration and shame that sometimes surround being single, identifying as a feminist but still wanting to be cuddled and paired off. The gals decide that maybe 2020 is the year they get boo’d up!

    They dive head first into the book that kicks off the season, Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What It Means for Modern Relationships. Delia assures Carla that this book is about much more than just having intercourse in the morning, it about monogamy and if humans are cut out for it. The book is sci-ency and conversational, Delia’s favorite combo. She talks about the possibility of starting a Tinder book club, how monogamy isn’t really a human thing and new ideas for a girls night in. The gals chat bonobos, March of the Penguins, penguin prostitution, thrusting count and how sometimes bullshit rules keep us stuck in one place.

    Gentle reminder, Carla nor Delia are licensed as medical professionals capable of dispensing actual medical advice. They are here to read the books, date the fellas and report back on the overall goal of being boo’d up.

    Stay tuned for our insane meme game (hello Georgia O’Keefe inspired invites with Bonobos for girl’s night), a host of books about intercourse, and meeting eligible bachelors in the hopes of finding that elusive big spoon.

    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]

    Do you have a business or service we can advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.

    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.

    Mentioned in the episode:

    “Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships.” by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan. (Copyright © 2011, Harper Perennial)
    Finest City Improv
    Bumble (Dating App)
    Tinder (Dating App)
    Meisner/Chekov workshop
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.
    Royalty Free Elevator Waiting Music

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    1 hr 5 min
  • S1:E14 – MANSPLAINING, KNEE TOUCHING, PIZZA AND BONER CITY
    Episode Notes

    S1:E14 – MANSPLAINING, KNEE TOUCHING, PIZZA AND BONER CITY: CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES

    In the season finale, your hosts Carla and Delia wax poetical about a season of ups and downs and sideways and diagonal ways. Delia chats about her homes away from home and how furniture assembly is going (she fought the Tarva and she won!) and how once everything is unpacked she may never leave the house. Carla goes on a date this week with a gentleman caller who reached out via the Facebook. She fancied herself in a French film standing next to her car watching her date walk in slow motion towards her. There was nothing French about those shrimp tacos though! (to die for.) And without further ado, the ladies dive into the final book of the season, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman.
    Carla is impressed by the qualifications of this week’s author Dr. Gary Chapman and having sold 11 million copies of this book and translated into 49 languages is nothing to sneeze at. Even though the book is geared toward people in relationships, Delia took the singles quiz and both Carla and Delia were a little disappointed that their love languages were left off the list (pizza and cake with intercourse respectively). The thirty questions reminded Delia of time spent in the optometrist chair during an eye exam. The gals share the results of their love language tests with no big surprises for either of them.
    Carla was not entirely thrilled about the authors southern accent, it made her recoil. While Carla is adamant that the theory outlined in the book is worth the religious bent and the occasional mansplaining and condescending tone. Because communication y’all! The book is also geared toward heterosexual people in a relationship. Carla shares some of the exercises that are at the end of each chapter. Quality time at a Chuck E. Cheese being creeped out by animatronics, DIY gifts that include (but are not limited to) a whittled gun cabinet and cat bowties, physical touch that actually warrants a high five (Delia is ecstatic!) and the roundabout way to initiate sex that Delia will NEVER EVER try.
    The girls take a fond look back on what they’ve learned this season from the variety of books and if they accomplished what they set out to accomplish. Big thanks to our loyal fans and avid listeners! We adore everyone who has laughed with us, entrusted us with their stories and listened to ours. Every week we feel a little less alone and a lot more joyful bolstered by an awesome community. Big Huge Thanks to fellow podcasters and friends: The fellas at Fright School podcast, Ur Gonna Die Alone podcast and Art Time of the Month podcast. We owe ya a debt of gratitude for everything you’ve shared and technical questions you’ve answered.
    Until Season Two… Happy dating and best wishes on finding your person!
    And gosh, we’re on a BREAK! We’re not broken up… So please keep checking our social media for fun tidbits of our next season’s theme, fun guests and highly scientific quizzes and data collection via facebook. We’ll be eating cake, trying not to get frosting everywhere…
    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love stories. Holler at us!
    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]
    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! The whole first season is there for you to binge! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.
    Mentioned in the episode:
    “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman (Copyright © 2015, Published by: Northfield Publishing, Reprint edition, January 1, 2015)
    Frank Sinatra, My Way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQzdAsjWGPg
    5 Love Languages Quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
    Chuck E. Cheese Pizza: https://www.chuckecheese.com/
    ShowBiz Pizza: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ShowBizPizzaPlace
    NASCAR: https://www.nascar.com/
    Pumpkin Spice Lattes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PumpkinSpiceLatte#targetText=Pumpkin%20Spice%20Latte&targetText=The%20Pumpkin%20Spice%20Latte%20is,small%20amount%20of%20pumpkin%20puree.
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    55 min
  • S1: BONUS EPISODE! – : CARLA AND DELIA INTERVIEW LISA CONCEPCION OF LOVE QUEST COACHING
    Episode Notes

    S1: BONUS EPISODE! – : CARLA AND DELIA INTERVIEW LISA CONCEPCION OF LOVE QUEST COACHING

    Join Carla and Delia in welcoming their first guest ever to the program, Lisa Concepcion of Miami-based Love Quest Coaching! The ladies talk about love, moving forward, raising your vibe, the importance of detox (the dating/divorce kind) and how the love you feel for yourself is the love you gotta nurture!
    Lisa answers all questions in her no nonsense New York style and gives us some pretty timely and invaluable advice. Gloss up Buttercup! (Yeah Lisa, we mos def have to get t-shirts made!) And get ready for a rollicking good time!
    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love stories. We love to hear stories and share them on the program! Holler at us!
    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]
    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.
    Mentioned in the Episode:
    Lisa the Love Coach: https://www.lovequestcoaching.com/
    Instagram: @lisathelovecoach
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    1 hr 13 min
  • S1:E13 – SEX BOATS, EYE CONTACT AND PHASE 3 NEGOTIATIONS
    Episode

    S1:E13 – SEX BOATS, EYE CONTACT AND PHASE 3 NEGOTIATIONS : CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – GETTING TO “I DO”

    In their second to last episode of the season, your hosts Carla and Delia go full confession on sucking at tech and sitting in pools of their own sweat. However being the ladies they are, they forge ahead, as ladies do. Delia chats about her sexcapades this week with CC and how instead of Getting To I Do she got right on the money with really amazing sexual intercourse. Carla discloses she is not any closer to “I Do” which puts us in the same boat. Except, she points out, Delia’s boat has sex in it. Permission to come aboard the sex boat granted! Without further fanfare the ladies get into this week’s book, “Getting To “I Do”: The Secret to Doing Relationships Right!” by Dr. Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon.
    Delia digs in with her chief complaint about this genre of book and that is that all roads lead to marriage, not just love and long term commitment. Carla shares that while she didn’t much like commitment at Delia’s age, she is feeling it now. The gals discuss the authors qualifications (of which there are many.) and how the book is divided. Delia focuses most of her energy on Part 2: Flirt to Attract. Carla confesses she is shit at flirting but has no problem being forward and both women learn that you needn’t be perfect to attract a man but you should upgrade the shit out of yourself to be the best you possible. The book outlines a sure fire way to flirt to attract which Delia promises to try this week (even though making eye contact makes her ass cheeks clinch) and Carla swears by the eye contact/smile rule except in the state of California.
    The girls get serious about the notion of not being a complete person without the companionship of another person, the importance of the relationship we cultivate with ourselves and the double standard that exists when women have sex without love. Delia gets heated with some of the advice given and Carla talks about the importance of doing the ‘getting ready for the date’ rituals just for you and you alone.
    Delia shares the line that made her close the book for good and both the ladies sign off with promises to turn on the fan, take a cold shower and eat pizza. Not necessarily in that order.
    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love stories. We love to hear stories and share them on the program! This week we asked for listener feedback… what you liked, loved, want to hear more of, want to hear less of. Holler at us!
    Next week we explore the book “The 5 Love Languages’”. While Carla has some issues with it, she concedes it’s a valuable and important book. Join us for our wrap of the first season!
    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]
    Do you have a business or service we can PIMP… I mean advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.
    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.
    Mentioned in the episode:
    “Getting To “I Do”: The Secret to Doing Relationships Right!” by Dr. Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon. (Copyright © 1994. Hardcover edition published in 1994 by William Morrow. First Avon Books edition published in 1995. Reprinted in Quill 2002
    The Princess Bride - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3odMTPuzLwY
    The Feminine Mystique - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheFeminineMystique
    Steve Harvey 90 Day Rule - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWRHXJppBd4
    Walgreens - https://www.walgreens.com/
    Fright School Podcast – Joshua Napier and Joe Fejeran (hosts). https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fright-school/id1168507832
    Midsommar - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vnghdsjmd0
    Getting to “I Do”: The Secret to Doing Relationships Right - By: Patricia Allen & Sandra Harmon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYqIoqGIRpg
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    1 hr
  • CIRCUS COCK, THE TOOL BOX AND ASKING YOURSELF, “ARE YOU READY?”
    Episode Notes

    S1:12 – CIRCUS COCK, THE TOOL BOX AND ASKING YOURSELF, “ARE YOU READY?” : CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – CALLING IN THE ONE

    As they near the end of their season, your hosts Carla and Delia begin by making a confession about the shit show that ensued recording on a Monday. Deciding that the attempts to call in the one went straight to voicemail. They discuss the week in review: Carla shares about a messaging thread which helped her clarify what she is looking for in The One. Meanwhile, Delia has a gentleman caller over who earns an interesting nickname and leaves her completely satisfied. Then they jump into this week’s book, “Calling in the One: 7 weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life” by Katherine Woodward Thomas.
    The ladies discuss the viability of installing a receiver in the vagina to activate when calling in the one and how it could also set off all the neighborhood dogs. Carla goes into the qualifications of the author and what the reader can expect week to week in the book. The gals touch on preparing for love, the down and dirty work one has to do in order to clear mental blocks and the healing that is necessary to place the call. Delia poses the question, “What if each step takes more than a week?” Carla goes over the allowances.
    The ladies touch on the challenging weeks, focusing attention on Week 5: First Things First, part of which entails cultivating solitude (which Delia feels she is nailing) and Week 3: Healing Core Wounds which Carla warns, you really have to dig in and its brutal. Week 6 highlights a life worth living (meaning your very own) and Week 7: Living Love Fulfilled which gives you tools on how to be in a relationship and how to hold space for another person and create the space in your life for the one to occupy. Carla goes over reviews and what you’re gonna need (the toolbox) in order to work through the book. (Another journal?!? Yes please!) The ladies make a pact to work through the book in the break between seasons. Even though Delia is not in the market for “The One” she could always clear some blocks.
    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love stories. We love to hear stories and share them on the program! This week we posed the question, Do you believe in the One?
    The ladies share a Season Two teaser (yeah, we have a theme.) but decide they’re making the listeners wait 90 days.
    Next week we explore the book “Getting to ‘I DO!’”. Delia questions her commitment to marriage but is completely committed to cake and the honeymoon. In closing, Carla and Delia pose the question, what’s faster… Calling In The One or Getting To ‘I Do’? See y’all on the expressway!
    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]
    Do you have a business or service we can PIMP… I mean advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.
    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.
    Mentioned in the episode:
    “Calling in the One: 7 weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life” by Katherine Woodward Thomas. (Copyright © 2004, Published by: Harmony – February 10, 2004)
    Deliverance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deliverance
    Life Alert: http://www.lifealert.com/
    Artist’s Way: https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    50 min
  • GIVING THE COOKIE AND GETTING THE COOKIE
    Episode Notes

    S1:E11 – GIVING THE COOKIE AND GETTING THE COOKIE: CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – ACT LIKE A LADY THINK LIKE A MAN

    Make a wish, your hosts Carla and Delia are back this week, battling the heat and sitting in puddLes of their own sweat. Delia shares her moving adventures and misadventures while Carla shares that this is her first week in five plus weeks where she does not have plans exclaiming, you can sleep when you’re dead! Carla talked a little about dating this week and her momentary lapse as she hits the man juice hard. And without further ado the gals launch into this week’s book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Expanded Edition: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment” by Steve Harvey.

    Delia notes the similarities between the books they’ve read this season starting with what men need to do for us ladies. It’s 3 P’s gals… and Steve let’s us know what men need from us. Including “The Cookie” which is exactly what you think it is. The ladies enter some murky waters when they talk about waiting to dole out the cookies and opening the bake shop on the first night. The ladies touch on the differences between sport fishing and keepers, ruining a perfectly good analogy and the gray area of cheating. Carla and Delia have varying opinions of cheating, communication and the nature of elicit affairs.

    The ladies discuss qualifications with a capital “Q”, the nature of friendship and Carla considers becoming qualified to be a relationship expert. Delia makes a face and considers the balance women have to strike between providing for themselves and having a man who feels useful enough to stick around. Until that man shows up, Delia resolves to put together her own Billys and Omars.

    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love story. We love to hear stories and share them on the program! Next week we work on the most important thing, and that is Calling In The One, Carla’s top pick for relationship books. Or in Delia’s case one of the ones.

    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]

    Do you have a business or service we can PIMP… I mean advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.

    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.

    Mentioned in the episode:

    “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Expanded Edition What: Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment” by Steve Harvey. (Copyright © 2009, 2014 by Steve Harvey. Published by Amistad, An Imprint of HarperCollins Publisher. A hardcover edition of this book was published in 2009 by Amistad. The first paperback edition of this book was published in 2011 by Amistad.)
    Family Feud: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FamilyFeud
    Interview With Steve Harvey, CBS This Morning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kELAQH1zEeU
    Criticism of Steve Harvey’s book: Act Like A Lady, Think Like Man. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6MBrcQK_I
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.
    Golden Corral: https://www.goldencorral.com/

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    44 min
  • S1:E10 – DOING DIRTY, DRAMA BITCH WEDNESDAYS AND BEING A FUCKING PRIZE
    Episode Notes

    S1:E10 – DOING DIRTY, DRAMA BITCH WEDNESDAYS AND BEING A FUCKING PRIZE: CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – NEVER CHASE MEN AGAIN

    We in double digits y’all! Carla is in Las Vegas for a real estate conference (not a euphemism) and the ladies are sweating balls in Remus’s studio and peep his didgeridoo standing up in the corner. Carla imagines a world in which Vegas leads the world in peaceful cooperation while Delia points out that its due to the indulging in vices. Carla has a chance to live out, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays In Vegas” and Delia insists that she is working on herself while internet dating. Delia turns 40, Carla tells her she won her sexual peak and Delia envisions a push-up montage, 80s sweatbands and Chariots of Fire. Carla, queen of segues introduces this week’s book, “Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested and Prevent Dead-End Relationships” by Bruce Bryans.

    The author (while little can be found on him) is a self-described relationship enthusiast. Which is apparent due to his many books and the many lists contained within. The book is broken down into 38 points. Carla liked that the book isn’t preachy or condescending. The ladies discuss not being too available and how to hold a dude’s interest, passive behaviors that are unacceptable and that Delia would rather hear from a fella in the morning first thing and right before she falls asleep because phone talking irks her. Carla shares the importance and power of vulnerability and her hatred of the word nag and the disdain for the word drama.

    The book warns about giving “it” up too easily which elicits a HEAVY SIGH from Delia. This is akin to her mother’s well-meaning advice, often ignored and just as often right on the money. The gals explore what high quality men look for, the importance of staying positive. Delia laments not being able to high five and chest bump. Carla shares how bumps in the road lead to deeper connection and more intense intimacy.

    The girls agree that they are tired of chasing men and go through the laundry list of chronic injuries they’ve suffered so far. Shin splints and plantar fasciitis be damned. Carla and Delia agree that they want a man who is enamored with them and they are not looking for 75 or 100 things, just 38 that work.

    Please email us and tell us about your dating foibles and love story. We love to hear stories and share them on the program! Next week we examine the advantage of Acting Like a Lady and Thinking Like a Man. We get down with Steve Harvey and not in a Feud type of way.

    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]

    Do you have a business or service we can PIMP… I mean advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.

    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.

    Mentioned in the episode:

    “Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested and Prevent Dead-End Relationships” by Bruce Bryans (Copyright © 2015, Printed by: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, June 6, 2015)
    Chariots of Fire – The main theme performed by Vangelis. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a-HfNE3EIo
    Eeyore (from Winnie The Pooh) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F05jBkbKiA
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

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    56 min
  • S1:E9 – PENIS AS LASSO, BOOKS AS BOYFRIENDS AND BEING NAKED
    Episode NS1:E9 – PENIS AS LASSO, BOOKS AS BOYFRIENDS AND BEING NAKED: CARLA AND DELIA REVIEW – ALL THE RULES

    In this week’s episode, Delia opens channeling Judy Garland (Live at Carnegie Hall) and imbibing a teeny tiny ‘tini and Carla shares her super scientific survey on Facebook. The ladies discuss the results, and they may surprise you. (As much as Delia’s impression of a 1960s sci-fi computer spitting out results) Spoiler alert, they are as varied as the people who shared them. Carla makes a HUGE step forward in preparing to find the one while Delia reveals some of her roadblocks. The ladies hop to sharing this week’s book, “All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

    Delia begins with how restrictive the book is. The majority of the Rules are phrased in the negative. The ladies examine Rule #12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day. Carla shares one of the most thoughtful gifts she’s received and they ponder how restrictive the list of romantic gifts are. Good Rules? #19 Don’t Open Up Too Fast, #23 Don’t Date A Married Man. Rule #20 Be Honest But Mysterious which gave Delia an idea on how to handle sticky questions (with a wink, a smile, a nod, a shoulder shrug or any combination thereof).

    Carla shares her contradictory stories on hearing someone’s voice before meeting and the girls address the inevitability of the unsolicited dick pic and the creative way Delia handles them. (Let’s get crafty!) The ladies touch on a host of other rules, debating their validity and land on Rule #34 – Love Only Those Who Love You. The girls get real about developing feelings, turning them off, unrequited love and the definition of relationship. They explore the relationships that have helped them grow and have taught them to be a better partner, a better person.

    Carla and Delia address the Rule about sex. Turns out the ladies are rulebreakers. They encourage everyone to get out there and break some rules.

    We love to hear stories and share them on the program! Next week we revisit one of Carla’s favorite authors Bruce Bryans and his book, Never Chase Men Again. Good. Because we are tired. Drop some knowledge Bruce!

    Mentioned in the episode:

    “All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. (Copyright © 1995, 1997 by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, Published by Grand Central Publishing, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. Originally published in hardcover by Hachette Book Group. First mass market edition: February 1996, September1998. First compilation edition: January 2007)
    Judy at Carnegie Hall, two record live recording. Recorded Sunday April 23, 1961 with backing orchestra led by Mort Lindsey. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JudyatCarnegie_Hall
    Heimlich, character in A Bug’s Life. https://disney-fan-fiction.fandom.com/wiki/Heimlich
    The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken

    Listeners, we have a few questions which stemmed from this episode:

    Did you read the Rules and the advice worked for you? Please tell us your story!
    Did you sleep with your partner on the first date? Are you still together? We’d love to hear your story!
    Fellas!!! Hey, did you happen to (in passing) check out the Rules? Is this the kind of woman who is your dream girl? Have you married your Rules Girl? Please tell us your story!
    *Royalty-Free Music by Kevin MacLeod; Two Finger Johnny 2015.

    We love to hear stories and share them on the program! Next week we revisit one of Carla’s favorite authors Bruce Bryans and his book, Never Chase Men Again. Good. Because we are tired. Drop some knowledge Bruce!

    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Recipes? Dating Stories? Constructive Criticism? Shoot us a message, [email protected]

    Do you have a business or service we can PIMP… I mean advertise on the podcast? Drop us a line at [email protected] and tell us a little bit about yourself.

    Listen! Rate! Subscribe! Follow us on social medias. We love to hear from our listeners.

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    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    53 min

About Land Your Man

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Land Your Man Podcast is hosted by Carla Nell with a weekly guest that reviews and decodes the advice of dating experts.