In this heartfelt episode of Late to the Party, Allie welcomes Victoria, a cult survivor and former youth leader, who shares her journey of navigating religious trauma, purity culture, and finding her bisexual identity. The conversation delves into Victoria's upbringing in the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP), her deep involvement in purity culture, and her eventual deconstruction of faith. Victoria talks about the challenges and revelations she encountered, the critical role of community, and the importance of giving oneself grace. Emphasizing the fluidity of faith and sexuality, Victoria's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update

01:21 Welcoming Victoria

02:20 Victoria's Early Life in a Cult

04:36 Family Dynamics and Leaving the Cult

05:39 Homeschooling and Education Challenges

27:48 Community and Social Interactions

31:05 The Impact of Evangelicalism on Society

32:02 Church Split and Its Aftermath

34:26 Transition to a Mega Church

35:24 Struggles with Purity Culture

38:36 Questioning and Rebellion

47:41 Exploring Sexual Ethics

01:00:18 College Life and Deconstruction

01:05:46 Leaving Academia and Finding Grace

01:07:13 Deconstructing Faith and Sexuality

01:07:45 A New Church Experience

01:09:28 Embracing Bisexuality

01:16:53 Purity Culture and Queer Identity

01:19:36 Redefining Spirituality and Faith

01:27:18 Healing and Setting Boundaries

01:34:13 Future Plans and Final Thoughts

In this episode of 'Late To the Party,' host Alex talks with Sam Bear, a queer comedian from Santa Barbara and the owner of Bear Cave Comedy. The discussion covers Sam's journey through various life phases, including her decade-long travels to different parts of the world, her academic background in psychology and public health, and her transition from improv to stand-up comedy. Sam shares her experiences dealing with ADHD, her coming out as bisexual, and the challenges and triumphs of starting her own comedy business during the COVID-19 pandemic. The conversation also highlights the importance of representation in comedy, the evolution of her queer identity, her relationship with her wife, and the support she receives in her comedic pursuits. Sam emphasizes the significance of providing a platform for women and queer comedians and discusses her future projects, including a comedian-led walking and food tour called 'Hahas and Tapas.' Overall, the episode is a blend of humor, life lessons, and insightful discussions on identity and community in the comedy world.

In this episode of 'Late To the Party,' host Alex interviews her younger cousin Luca, who is trans. Luca details their experiences coming out at 13, navigating their identity, and their journey growing up in a supportive family. They discuss Luca's evolving gender expression, the challenges faced with unsupportive figures like their father, and the joy and validation found through medical transition and artistic expression. This episode offers a heartfelt look at Luca's life, htheiris supportive community, and underscores the importance of acceptance and understanding within families

.00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:49 Luca's Pronouns and Gender Expression

03:43 Early Realizations and Coming Out

06:57 Family Reactions and Support

13:51 Medical Transition Journey

22:45 Living in Kentucky as a Queer Kid

25:43 Support Systems in School

26:23 Coming Out and Finding Community

30:07 Artistic Expression and Achievements

32:18 Artistic Inspirations and Personal Growth

35:17 Clothing Style and Gender Expression

41:52 Family Support and Transitioning

47:30 Future Plans and College Life

48:49 Gratitude and Final Thoughts

Exploring Queer Identity and Community with Kaia

In this episode of Late To the Party, host Alex reconnects with Kaia, a high school friend, and delves into her journey exploring her trans femme identity and queerness. Kaia discusses her evolving understanding of her sexuality and gender, her experiences in the Bay Area kink scene, the role of supportive friendships, and her upcoming journey into graduate school to become a therapist focused on queer communities. They also reflect on their shared high school experiences, the challenges of growing up in a small, less-diverse community, and finding affirmation and validation in more diverse, inclusive environments.

00:00 Welcome to Late To the Party

01:29 Kaia's Gay Awakening

03:13 Journey of Self-Discovery

09:30 Family Dynamics and Acceptance

11:26 Building a Queer Community

12:00 Embracing Trans Femme Identity

13:48 Diving into the Kink Scene

17:10 First Experience at Folsom Street Fair

20:34 Entering the Community

23:13 Respect and Affirmation in Play Spaces

24:01 Queer Identities in Play Parties

25:20 Friendships and Community Building

27:12 Reflecting on High School Experiences

30:22 Moving to San Francisco

36:28 Pursuing a Career in Therapy

41:06 Advice for Exploring Identity

43:06 Concluding Thoughts

In this episode of 'Late To the Party,' host Alex welcomes Matt to discuss the challenges and nuances of queerness and polyamory. They explore topics such as Matt's journey of self-discovery and coming out, dealing with internalized homophobia, and the complexities of identifying as gay and transitioning from identifying as bisexual. Matt shares his experiences of being in a polyamorous relationship with his partners Danny and Pierce, detailing the importance of communication and setting boundaries in maintaining a healthy throuple. He also reflects on the support and struggles with his family dynamics and offers advice for those contemplating polyamorous relationships. The conversation delves deep into love, acceptance, and navigating non-traditional relationships, emphasizing that it's never too late to embrace one's true self.

Exploring the Central Coast Drag Scene with BJ AKA Burnt Joint!

In this episode of 'Late to the Party,' the host interviews BJ AKA Burnt Joint, a rising star in the Central Coast Drag scene. BJ discusses their journey into drag, starting just a year ago, and the unique way they balance their non-binary identity with performing as a feminine drag queen. BJ shares insights on the support from their family and friends, the influence of their creative childhood, and their current role in fostering community through drag. The episode also touches on BJ's inspirations, performances, and their upcoming participation in the 'Royalty of Pride' pageant at the New Vic Theater. BJ offers valuable advice for aspiring drag performers and emphasizes the importance of community and authenticity in the drag world.

00:00 Welcome to Late to the Party

00:28 Meet BJ AKA Burnt Joint

00:55 Sexuality and Pronouns

01:28 Exploring Gender and Drag

03:34 Childhood and Creative Beginnings

04:13 Growing Up Queer in a Conservative Area

07:20 Discovering Drag and Inspirations

09:35 First Drag Performance and Costumes

11:24 The Origin of Burnt Joint

13:06 Makeup Journey and Influences

13:52 The Drag Community in SLO

14:55 The Challenges of Being a New Queen

16:31 Favorite and Least Favorite Parts of Drag

17:50 Creating Inclusive Events

21:46 Preparing for the First Pageant

26:00 Advice for Aspiring Drag Queens

28:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In this episode of 'Late to the Party,' host Alex and her best friend Al dive into a candid discussion about discovering their sexuality, the challenges of biphobia, navigating straight-passing relationships, and the journey towards self-acceptance. Al shares their personal experiences of identifying as non-binary and lesbian, discussing their coming out story, their struggles with internalized homophobia, and the societal pressures of appearing 'straight.' They also talk about the impact of living in different cultural environments, such as San Francisco versus a smaller town, on their queer experience. The episode is a heartfelt exploration of queerness, identity, and the importance of community support.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:24 Guest Introduction: Al's Pronouns and Sexuality

01:43 Navigating Non-Binary and Lesbian Identities

02:14 Gay Awakenings and Early Realizations

02:52 Listener Write-Ins and Cartoon Crushes

03:22 Al's Bisexuality and Transition to Lesbian Identity

06:24 Coming Out and Family Dynamics

10:46 Living in San Francisco vs. Santa Barbara

14:49 Navigating the Dating Scene

15:41 Challenges in Male-Dominated Fields

16:54 Professional Struggles and Acceptance

17:36 Embracing Queer Identity at Work

18:55 Straight Passing and Its Implications

24:03 Understanding Non-Binary Identity

25:21 Addressing Biphobia and Queer Validation

27:24 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

In the debut episode of the 'Late to the Party' podcast, host Alex introduces herself and shares her personal journey of self-discovery and coming to terms with her sexual identity.

She talks about her upbringing in a queer-friendly environment, her relationships, and the challenges she faced in understanding her sexuality. She also discusses her transition from identifying as pansexual to realizing she is lesbian, and the impact of her past relationships on her current happiness.

Alex emphasizes the importance of community, connection, and living an authentic life. And reminds us all it's never too late to show up.

What if you didn’t come out in high school? What if you’re still figuring it out? What if your queerness doesn’t look the way you thought it would? What if there wasn't one 'big moment' when you came out?

Welcome to Late to the Party—a podcast about queerness, becoming, and showing up to your own life, on your own timeline.

Hosted by Alex, a lesbian who came out later in life, this show features conversations with queer folks from all walks of life—artists, organizers, late bloomers, old souls, baby gays, and everyone in between. Together, we explore the stories that don’t always get told: from gay awakenings and gender journeys, to chosen family, joy, doubt, and everything in between.

If you’ve ever felt behind, unsure, or like you missed the moment—this podcast is your reminder: you’re never late. You’re right on time.