Leaning Toward Wisdom

I'm working on a new episode, but in the meantime, I thought I'd produce this special episode answering some of the questions I get. A number of these questions come fairly regularly. Enjoy!

When did Leaning Toward Wisdom begin?

What got you started in podcasting?

What happened to Project #CravingEncouragement?

Do you make money podcasting? How much?

What was the point in starting Leaning Toward Wisdom?

Where is The Yellow Studio and how did it get that name?

What's your background? Why did you get interested in making a podcast about wisdom?

Will you ever get on a regular schedule and release episodes more often?

When you're up at night, how do you pass the time?

What is your workflow? Has it changed through the years?

How long will you keep doing Leaning Toward Wisdom?

Thanks for listening. I hope you'll subscribe and join us over in the private Facebook group.

Randy

“So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again

Some years ago Dr. Henry Cloud wrote a book entitled, Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward.

Experience has taught me that this isn't easy for some. They struggle to say, "No." Or to quit something, even if they know "the something" isn't working terribly well for them. The difficulty is determining how necessary the ending truly is.

Quitting can be hard. Figuring out what's necessary to quit? Even harder.

You'd think to figure out what isn't working would be easy, but it's not always so clear cut. Sometimes we have to step back and better understand basic terms. Every website and software has terms and conditions. Those outline the responsibilities of both providers and users. Most are a grand display of legal protections but at their core...they outline the issues of WHO and WHAT. Sometimes they may also include HOW. So let's try that with a few things in the hopes it'll help us learn how we can figure out the endings of our dragons. 'Cause even dragons have their ending.

Dragons: They're Not Our Pet

They shouldn't be anyway.

Sometimes we make them our pets. We cuddle them. Love them. Embrace them. Do whatever we can to keep them hanging around. Hoping they'll love us.

Dragons - at least for our discussion today - are the people or situations that don't help us progress as people. They don't make us better. They don't benefit us in ways that truly matter. They may be fun. They may even be rewarding in other ways - maybe they make us money, or they give us associations we enjoy. Even destructive relationships or endeavors can provide something we value...but just because we value it doesn't mean it's good for us.

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.”              ― Mary Anne Radmacher

We can all value destructive things. Alcoholism. Drug addiction. Gambling addiction. Pornography addiction. Abuse. The world is filled with destructive things that not only exist in people's lives...but often rule their lives. Think about the things in your life right now that you know are destructive. You know they hurt you and your ability to become a better person. Go ahead. Write them down. Open up a note in your phone and list them. All the destructive things that you know are in your way toward becoming the best version of YOU.

We can all value things that aren't destructive necessarily, but they don't move us forward. They keep us stuck. Jobs we hate. Careers we hate even more. One-sided relationships. Oppressive bosses. Habits. Now, think about these things. They're not bad in the sense that they're destructive, but embracing them puts you in the same place as those destructive things. They stop you from being a better person. They stick you in a place you know isn't your ideal best. Go ahead. Write them down somewhere. Make a note of them. All the things that you don't think are bad, they just keep you from moving forward to improve. To get better.

Dragons are dragons, even if they are our pets. They'll turn on you. It's only a matter of time. We should be on guard because you can never trust a dragon.

Dragons are large, over-bearing creatures. Figments of our imaginations. Making them the most fierce beasts around. Because they're largely - but not always - in our head.

But even dragons have their endings. And we can help. After all, we created most of them in our minds. Stands to reason, we can stop creating them and cease to give life to the ones we did create.

Dragons aren't merely thoughts though. Some are real.

Welcome to a new season of Leaning Toward Wisdom. It's season 2020. Surely a year of clarity - at least we hope so - for many of us.

I've got some new things in store for you this year. The first is something you're hearing, a different microphone. It's a mic made by a company I'd never heard of before (neither had anybody else), TechZone Audio Products.  I won't bore you with the minutia, but you're hearing more details in my voice and I hope you find it even more pleasing than before. ;)

The biggest new thing centers around my new focus on the power of others. So intense is this urge to talk more about it, to incorporate it in all that I do...that I rebranded my "work" podcast into The Power Of Others. It was the Grow Great podcast.

I can't think of a better way to begin this new season of Leaning Toward Wisdom than to talk about how important it is for us to help each other move forward and get things done. The pursuit of wisdom isn't about just holding good, wise thoughts. It's about making smart, wise choices that will affect our behavior. It's about being better by doing better!

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“You can't plow a field simply by turning it over in your mind.”

― Gordon B. Hinckley

He was a famous religious leader, the 15th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yes, I confess I had to Google that whenever I first read this quote. It's among a list of quotes I rather like - quotes about doing things versus just planning to do things.

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining."

[State of the Union Address January 11, 1962]  ― John F. Kennedy

Back in 1999 I read a book that distilled better than I ever could how I felt about doing things, The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton. Many of us are prone to seek more knowledge. We think if we could just learn something more, then success would be certain. The nagging question is, "What if we just did what we already know we should do?" In other words, what if we closed that knowing-doing gap and moved forward doing what we already know.

There are untold thousands of people buying information and training every single day. Training and education they'll never implement. I've long heard that fewer than 2% of any audience will deploy the things they learn from a public speaker or a trainer. And that may be a high estimate.

This also explains why ideas aren't nearly as powerful as we may think. I still get tickled if somebody asks me to sign an NDA (non-disclosure agreement), which I refuse to do any more. People can protect their ideas like they're gold when the reality is the gold is in doing something with that idea. Execution of the idea is where success is found.

Reminds me of that famous quote by head football coach John Mckay when he was coaching the upstart, expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Talk about a man who could produce some of the funniest quotes!

In response to a question about his team's execution, the head coach responded, "I'm all in favor of it." :D

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."

The coach was right. We all know it. You have to DO something. Thinking about it won't get it done. Planning it won't either.

“If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.”      ― Yogi Berra

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower

I love to plan. I want to be prepared. And I'm prone to overthinking. Not enough to not act, but enough to get in my own way. But not about everything. Mostly the things that are incongruent for me.

"I’m sorry I can't, I just don't want to."

I've long known that "NO" is a complete sentence, but it doesn't mean I've practiced it. Largely because people can be very impolite. And pushy!

Not long ago I told somebody I would not be present at an event. Pressed I truthfully said I had some things that required my attention before heading out of town. The pressing and ridicule began. A common tactic of people. I dug in and exclaimed with greater force, "I will not be there and you won't shame me into attending." No is indeed a complete sentence.

Dr. Henry Cloud is likely known as the father of boundaries. Read his books including Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life. Each of us has to determine and establish the boundaries that serve us. That doesn't mean we give each other the Heisman pose. It does mean we display enough grace to each other that we stop thinking only of ourselves and quit pressuring people to do what WE want them to do.

I posted this over at Facebook just recently.

Social media is N-O-T-O-R-I-U-S for poor behavior. Even by decent or good people. The whole "IBK" (idiot behind keyboard) mindset sometimes captivates any of us. We get stupid. Some more quickly than others.

Not long ago a buddy of mine posted something that any reasonable person would have realized was very innocuous. In Messenger, a person took issue exclaiming she was "offended" because he had used the phrase "stinky people." ;)

No grace. No consideration. No thoughtfulness. No mindfulness. Just an exclamation that she was offended. It was a joke about a king who has been dead for 400 years and an anonymous man. It wasn't directed at her or any particular group of people. Hello Thin Skin, meet offense!

He was quite measured in his response. Not sure I would've been. Mostly because I often feel like the ninnies need a battle. Else, they'll always win. And we're severely outnumbered by them as it is. They're growing by leaps and bounds. Purveyors of wisdom appear to be shrinking, in spite of our collective efforts here at LTW.

Reminder: SurroundedByNinnies.com is a domain I own. Click on it and check it out. 

"NO" isn't a hateful response. Why do people who hear it think so? Because they're selfish ninnies. They're giving no consideration to the person who says, "No." They're brassy enough to think they DESERVE an explanation. You owe them. Or so they think.

No, you don't.

Intentions play a role. So do expectations. So let's think about those two notions, but let's do it reverse order.

Expectations

The reality of expectations is our perceptions. We perceive things the way we perceive them. Is that ingrained in us? Is it unchangeable? It's a debate, but this much appears true. Humans appear to be made of love (those of us who believe in God and the Word of God already believe this truth). Love is the number one addiction of all people.

Cardiovascular disease is the number killer. But lack of love - and the stress created by it - likely kill many, many more.

God designed us this way. To crave and seek love. To express that love toward others.

Increasingly, brain scientists believe we're built to see the glass half full. Neuroscientists tell us we're born with a perfect core genetic code. We make choices and those choices impact our DNA. So our perfection can have negative genes piled on top of them, but those imperfect genes resulting from previous generations are closed or dormant. Those imperfect or negative perceptions are learned. The environment wakes up those negative genes.

Two children can grow up in an identical environment but result in completely different ways of life. Because all of us,

Photograph of Ronny F. Wade by Andrew Weaver

We were little boys. Stanley and me. Best friends from our beginnings.

A "Halloween" ;) costume party. All the friends of our folks were there. Dressed in garb where hiding one's real identity was the goal. We were gathered inside the garage, sitting in a circle with folks mingling...watching all the new arrivals. Up the driveway walking like Frankenstein was a gray robot. A red light bulb for a nose. Illuminated. There was no way to know who was underneath the garb of spray-painted cardboard boxes forming this ultra low-tech robot.

I had already identified my grandmother, Marie, dressed as Peter Pan. I recognized her immediately somehow. Walked right up to her, calling her by name ("Re" is what everybody, including me called her) asking her to pick me up. Nobody else could identify her.

Then there was this robot creature, easily the most captivating character there. Fascinating.

It was Stanley's dad, Johnny Elmore. That's my first memory of him. I was very young. Pre-school.

Johnny was my best friend's dad. That was my first context for him.

There was never a time when he wasn't in my life. His family was my second family. It's just how it always was. Even when Stanely, his son and my best friend, passed from this life in 2013. Losing Stanley was the most devasting loss for me because we had so much history together. And because we were both older. Fifty-six to be precise.

Losing grandparents, especially "Peter Pan," was sad, but she had been suffering badly...relegated to a nursing facility because of the constant care she required. Losing Stan was different. He was a peer. A close friend. A trusted phone call away all the time. Until he wasn't.

Johnny Elmore and his wife, Sally, who preceded him in death were close friends with my parents. My life began in a small Oklahoma town, Ada, where Johnny was the evangelist working with the congregation where we all worshipped. They were a family of four - they'd soon become a family of 5. We were a family of four.

Randy, Lexie (Randy's sister), Joni (Stan's sister) and Stan - Ada, OK circa 1960 or so?

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's true of close friends, too. Close family friends. We've been plenty stupid around each other through the years. I know I've contributed MORE than my share.

My heart was broken when Stanley died. I was sad for my own loss, but I was especially sad for Stanley's folks. My imagination kicked into full swinging trying to understand what it must have felt like to bury a child - albeit a child in his 50's.

As a dad myself I was especially sensitive to Johnny's emotions at that time. I entered the funeral home and hugged him. He whispered something about thinking about me and Stanley jumping on the bed as little boys. Here we were, two old men now, and memories of long, long ago were at the forefront of our mind. Memories of kids acting stupid. But acting stupid together is still what I miss most since Stanley died. And it's among the many things I'll miss most about Johnny. All the snarkiness. All the sarcasm. All the bagging on each other. Stuff that's been part of my existence since I was that little boy in the dark suit (and before)

Say what you want about aging, it's still the only way to have old friends.     - Robert Brault

Regularly Johnny would tell me, "Getting old isn't what it's cracked up to be." Sometimes I'd say, "It beats the alternative." And he'd quite often quickly reply, "I'm not sure about that."

Age does that. Especially when age brings infirmities. Johnny had his. Most recently loss of balance and eyesight. The eyesight loss was especially vexing because Johnny Elmore was a reader.

Jim Collison

Today's Project #CravingEncouragement story comes from Jim Collison. Find him at The Average Guy website. Thanks, Jim for the encouragement, friendship, and support. Jim was one of the very first financial contributors to helping me get the Rode Rodecaster Pro here inside The Yellow Studio.

You'll hear Jim's stories at the very end of the episode.

 

"Old men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen to the world."        - George Bernard Shaw

But old men are dangerous for so much more. It's not that old men don't care, it's that they've learned what to care about most. Experience has taught them what matters and what's irrelevant.

Old men are dangerous because they're able to teach younger men the things they most need to know. Nobody can teach younger men more than old men. if only younger men would listen and learn. ;)

2019 has been a year focused on the old men in my life. In the spring I lost one. Others are growing weak and frail. Old men have always been very important to me. I've lot a handful of them over the years. Old men who taught me a lot, but I know there was so much more I could have and should have learned.

Old men aren't likely so different from old women. Not when it comes to the resource they are for those who are younger.

Younger is relative. Earlier this year I lost an old man in my life. He was 74. Meanwhile, there's another old man in my life who is 96 and still going. My dad. That's a 22-year spread and it makes me wonder when a guy goes from being a young man to a man, then goes to being an old man.

To a 10-year-old boy, a 25-year-old is likely an old man.

To a 25-year-old, a 50-year-old is for sure an old man.

To the 50-year-old...well, old just takes on a very different connotation.

Narrowing down the when is important. After all, old men are dangerous so we have to figure out who the old men are! ;)

I'll leave that to you to figure out for yourself.

I happen to think old women are just as dangerous as old men. If not MORE so. ;) So I don't discriminate. I'm equally fearful.

Being dangerous isn't restricted to being fearful though. There's dangerous in a good way. Sorta like the word "bad." Then there's dangerous in a terrible way. As in, "That concert was bad." That means the concert was awful. It can be good. As in, "That concert was bad." That means the concert was awesome.

Let's talk about the fearful. I grew up learning fear very quickly. Spanking was how all good kids were brought up. Not beatings. Not abuse. Spankings. I don't think it was a regional practice either. Rather, I think it was pretty universal born from years of practice sparked by Old Testament (and New Testament) teaching on discipline. "Spare the rod, spoil the child," and all that. It clearly was a defective form of discipline and training because most of the kids I knew addressed adults as "sir" or "ma'am." Classrooms were mostly well ordered and teachers, policemen and other authority figures were shown respect by all but the very worst kids. So it was clearly NOT the way to raise and train children.

I mean it's barbaric really. Better to have every child behaving like a spoiled hellion, smarting off to teachers, flipping off police officers and general showing disdain for anybody who dare suggest he not get his way. Society is greatly improved by our intolerance for any kind of physical discipline to show kids that they are NOT in charge. After all, the kids ARE in charge so let's treat them that way. Like the royality of all knowledge and wisdom we know them to be. Just like when we were kids, right?

When I was a boy old men were dangerous. Old women more dangerous.

"Steal a little and they'll put you in jail, steal a lot and they'll make you king."     - Bob Dylan

That's a line from his song, Sweetheart Like You.

Life has many thieves.

Yes, many of them are people - robbers and thieves - but that's not the subject today. Today it's about the things that rob us of much more than money. Even though the thieves in the illustration for the show-notes have bags of money, that may be the least of our valuables that get taken. More accurately, the valuables that we allow the many thieves to take from us.

The Sound Of Their Voice

I watched 9/11 Phone Calls From The Towers, a documentary on Amazon Prime. It was emotionally wrenching. Survivors were thankful for the phone calls. They were able to have final conversations with their loved ones. Others got voice messages giving them recordings of their loved one's voice. They've gone to great lengths to preserve the recordings, some just a few seconds long.

Terrorists stole the voices of thousands of loved ones. One woman - a survivor - remarked how she'd been told, "You'll forget the sound of the voice."

As I watched this documentary I thought about how those recordings were likely both a blessing or a curse. These recordings, unlike this podcast, were produced under duress, fear, and sometimes the knowledge that death was imminent.

The comfort wasn't so much for the survivors, but for those trapped. There are two sides to the conversations and we may focus too much on the people having to hear the fear in the voices of their loved ones. But those folks who perished had an opportunity to express their final thoughts, feelings, and wishes.

Many of the deceased were able to make numerous phone calls to the people they cared for most. Phone records showed some of them made many calls. They were craving the voices of people who loved them, and the people they loved.

Other recordings were the radio transmissions of the first responders who never made it out. All this audio is priceless to the families adding to the legacy those families will embrace - that they had a loved one who died trying to save and serve the victims of the attack.

In the documentary the survivors recalled another sound. A sound coming from inside themselves working its way out of their mouth. Cries. Moans. Wailing. Sounds some of them admit they had never made before. Or since.

My father turned 96 in September. I have a little bit of audio of him, but not nearly enough. I need to get more. Just last week I got this snippet though. It was about his one and only fight. I didn't provoke the conversation. My mother did. :D

Think of all the people in your life who have passed. Some from your earliest childhood. What a blessing we have today with digital technology where we can easily capture and preserve the sound of voices. Can you imagine being able to hear your great grandparents? Or your grandparents? What about that close family friend you saw so frequently?

Those 9/11 survivors are right. You do forget the sound of their voice. Thankfully many of them have those voicemail recordings to remind them.

Time is a thief. Of a lot more than sounds.

The Warmth Of Their Love

This week I've been listening to a lot of female vocalists. Artists like Alexa Rose, Brittany Howard, Joan Shelley, Sheryl Crow, Tori Kelly and Freya Ridings.

It's gonna take heavy-duty AI-driven technology to flesh out how many songs exist about past love, broken love, missed love and all the other thievery that happens with love. Not just romantic love, but all sorts of love. Even a sentimental romantic like me grew tired this week of listening to all the songs about broken love. It goes to show you how universal it is.

Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote,

me and Stanly inside The Yellow Studio - June 17, 2010

Today's show mostly features audio that was recorded here inside The Yellow Studio on the weekend of July 17, 2010. My lifelong best friend Stanley came to visit. I want you to lean more heavily into the close friendships you've got. Make more of them. Do it today. The moments are precious.

Randy

 

Heb. 11:4 "By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he had witness borne to him that he was righteous, God bearing witness in respect of his gifts: and through it he being dead yet speaketh."

The point is, our influence lives on even after we pass. Today's episode is more literal.

Back on May 12, 2015 I published a blog post with this same title. It was the second anniversary of the death of my lifelong friend, Stanley James Elmore (April 11, 1957 - May 12, 2013). The blog post didn't stay online all that long. I took it down fearing I had shared too much. You'd have thought I'd have learned better.

Because I had recorded a podcast episode on May 9, 2013 just days before Stanley died. I took my digital recorder with me to the gym that day. I never went inside the gym. Instead, I sat outside in my car. It was rainy and you could hear the rain hitting the roof of my car as I poured out my heart. It was the most intensely personal podcast I'd ever recorded and admittedly, it was selfish. It was self-therapy. I took the episode down after a bit because I just didn't think I was being fair to you, the listener.

Two things prompt today's show. One, lately I've had a few dreams about Stanley. Nothing extraordinary, just dreams where he and I are doing what we often did - talking and cutting up. Laughing. Being snarky. Two, within recent months a few people have asked about that episode I recorded in my car. Evidently they listened to it and remembered it.

Okay, I've got a third reason. The memory of somebody I loved very much. It never goes away. My heart isn't as heavy as when I first lost him, but I have many days where I look at my phone and stare at his contact info...wishing he were just a click away.

Okay, there's a fourth reason, too. And this one involves YOU. As I keep pressing along with Project #CravingEncouragement I want to leverage the story of my friendship with Stanley to encourage you to take advantage of today to reach out to somebody who is important to you. I know there are many reasons why friendships lose their zest. And there are often valid reasons why people grow apart. I'm not going to be presumptuous to urge you to repair those. If you want to, do it. If it's possible. But instead, I'm encouraging you to lean more heavily into those relationships that ARE important, but perhaps some things haven't been said that ought to be said. Or they haven't been said in a long time. Make today the day you say them. Be brave. Be bold. Be courageous. You'll be glad you did.

Now for some context. There are lots of podcasts with friends talking and while I appreciate the endeavor, as a listener I rarely find value. I respect the fact that the audio is recorded and those people will be thankful they did a show together. That doesn't mean I get it. So frequently there are these inside jokes that only friends can understand. There's the context of our friendship that few others can appreciate or understand. I know it was that way for me and Stanley.

But I want to provide you some context and along the way I'm going to share some recorded conversations that took place right here inside The Yellow Studio in July 2010. All I want you to listen for is the lifelong connection between two guys who were in their early 50's at the time. Two guys who had known each other since birth. I just want you to hear the connection and love --- not to think about US,

Twice this week I got phone calls. From two separate people. People I care about. Not family. But people I love just the same.

Two different people. Two different circumstances. Different challenges.

Two people who trust me enough to lean on me for support. Two people who know me well enough (and who have let me know them well enough) to understand I'm a judgment-free zone.

This week was a rather slow week. ;)

I almost never go an entire day without getting such a call. I'm that guy! And I love being that guy. Because empathy is understanding and compassion is empathy in action.

Everybody has problems. Some problems are really awful. Others are more trivial but don't feel that way at the moment. It's our life and to us it's important. Vexing. Worrisome. Painful. Fretful.

Again, I don't judge it. I lean into my empathy (which is understanding), then I go all-in on compassion (which is the action empathy takes). But this isn't about me. It's about YOU. Well, okay, it's about ALL OF US.

Let's start with some hard truths.

Here in America, there's quite a lot of political unrest. Some want to impeach the President. Some oppose that. Here's the truth - your life might be impacted by the presidency, but not very much. The United States is still a free republic. Elected officials and unelected officials aren't to blame for whatever may be wrong in your life. And they won't help you fix it. Or sustain whatever success you may be experiencing. You may be very interested in all that stuff, which is fine. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that if your candidate were in office, it'd all be better. No, it wouldn't. It'll be better when you contribute to making your own life - and the lives of others around you - better!

Your parents won't save you. Well, okay, maybe they will. Maybe they'll try. And in doing so they'll be unintentionally hurting you more than they're helping. If you're under 40 there's quite a lot you've yet to experience. Among them...being smacked in the mouth with a major economic downturn. If you're under 30 and healthy odds are you don't have much of a clue about adversity. Mom and dad can't save you from every enemy attack. You have to learn to fight for yourself.

You're not in full control, but that doesn't give you the right to make excuses. I'm a Christian. If you're not, even if you're opposed to Jesus Christ, I'm not here to fight or berate your opposition. I'm simply providing you my context so you can better understand my perspective and why I believe what I do. This is important because humanism has elevated us - human beings - to godlike status. I don't subscribe to that notion because I believe in God, I believe the Bible is the word of God, and I believe Jesus Christ is God's Son who came from heaven and died so we could be reconciled back to God. In short, I believe Jesus is the Savior based on the Gospel story. Again, you don't have to agree with me, but it explains why I don't follow humanism and the notion that we have the degree of control stoics and other popular humanism philosophies espouse.

Accountability and control aren't synonymous terms. At least not the way I'm using them. We're all accountable. To God, to ourselves and to each other. But our control is limited. We're unable to control all the things that may happen to us. Some things happen because of our own foolishness, our own ignorance and our own ineptness. But some things happen in spite of our best efforts. Sometimes things don't work out even though we did everything as right as possible. External circumstances are often beyond our control. Timing is a real thing. So is serendipity. Then there are others. None of us are able to control others.

All of this is important not so we can make excuses or point fingers,

Music fuels a lot of episodes around here. Today's show is no different. It was sparked by a song that Drew and Ellie Holcomb recorded on their last record, Dragons (August 2019). Track 3, "But I'll Never Forget The Way You Make Me Feel."

Drew and Ellie met in college. They're both 37. They've been married for about 13 years. I don't know much more than that, except what we can discern from the music they create together. I rather think that after 13 years they're still in love with each other and their music. It's a pretty sweet gig they've got going.

I've got my own sweet gig going. And today I'm going to tell you all about it. Okay, maybe I'm not going to tell you ALL about it, but I'm going to tell you enough about it to spark your own reflections into your own life. Especially the most important people in your life.

I intended this show - today's show - to be something different. I even teased it over at the private Facebook group. Love, Laughter and Levity.

The more I worked on it the worse things got. I kept getting stuck. And it's not because those topics don't have a heavy influence in my life. I'm not really sure why it was so hard. I started noodling around with the last topic, levity. Maybe that was a poor strategy. It's a pretty easy subject for me really because in spite of my sober demeanor I rather enjoy snarkiness, sarcasm, and levity. And I laugh pretty regularly.

I was walking, as I am wont to do in the wee hours and listening to tunes. At some point, I activated Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors latest record, Dragons. First up, a tune called, "Family." It's a short little lively song. 2 minutes 20 seconds.

It's a great video featuring many of Nashville's musicians and their family. Well, that's all she wrote. I was stuck now on a different course for this episode. I instantly went to the first L word of the proposed title, LOVE.

I'm a hopeless romantic. And very sentimental. Always have been. There is no cure. Warning this episode is going to lean into all this so if that's not your thing, I get it. It's a shame 'cause you're really missing out on some of life's most terrific elements in my opinion. But that's okay. If you want to hit STOP and catch the next episode, I'll try to understand even though it won't be easy! :D

By the time track 3 launched into my earbuds, a song I'd listened to many, many times before...I was a mess. "But I'll Never Forget The Way You Make Me Feel."

Here's a 37-year-old couple singing about growing old together. Him, unable to remember specific details perhaps, but always able to remember the way she makes him feel.

We're 62 now. Me and Rhonda. We are growing older together. We're pushing hard on entering year 42 of our marriage. Year 45 of being a couple. Being 17 or 18 and in love is pretty terrific. Being 62 and just as in love is even better.

It was likely a Saturday, but I don't remember that detail. Guess I'm a lot like Drew's song. But that's about the only thing I don't remember. We were out at a park at the far end southern end of Highland Road in Baton Rouge. Flying kites. At the northern end of Highland Road is the entrance to LSU. I lived somewhere between LSU and the park off Highland Road. Rhonda had come down from Ft. Worth to visit. We were already a couple. I was mad about her and getting more so by the day.

Attending classes at LSU was drudgery except for handwriting daily letters to take by the Student Union to drop into the mail. And checking my mailbox daily for her letters. It was a habit we maintained for over 2 years. Such was life in the 70's when you don't have Internet, cell phones or social media.

The music that weekend was a heavy rotation of Poco's album, Crazy Eyes. I was a bigtime Richie Furay fan,