Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In which Your Hands go in a deep dive over HBO's niche arthouse property SUCCESSION and why it fucking whips so goddamn hard.

This episode includes:

• Extensive discussion of the Shakespearean roots of this delightfully and depressingly funny show about the absolute worst people in the world.
• Clint waxes poetic about his favorite ship in all of ships: GregTom,
• Merry defends Shiv's choices and her wardrobe,
• Are eyes the windows of the soul or merely face eggs? We may never know.
• Your Hands Debate the Kendall Question: Does he suck or does he SUCK suck?
• A reminder that Logan Roy, like Tywin Lannister, Is Dead.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this thirty-fourth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is Renly Baratheon any good at oral (arguments)?

Our analysis this week includes:

• The beginning of a brand new running series where Your Hands evaluate the persuasive argumentation skills of your favorite and least favorite ASOIAF characters.
• An overview of what makes a good, bad, and indifferent oral argument.
• Discussion of the Copper King's strengths and weaknesses, including whether he's funny, whether he's smart, and whether he can read a room (SPOILER: no).
• PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECH
• Your Hands give their extensive oral resumes. Not like that, pervs.
• Thorough discussion on Renly's talks with Ned, Cat, and Stannis.
• A Special Guest Renly Hater weighs in to say why he isn't as good as Stannis, and yes it's Frank. 
• Renly is Luigi. Search your heart, you know it to be true.

Supplemental reading: 

• Where to pay your dues
• Point Made

Bumpers and extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this thirty-third episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: What are the horizontal Separations of Powers that exist in Westeros? What similarities exist between the Seven Kingdoms and the US Federal Government? What the hell does the Master of Laws even do?????

Our analysis this week includes:

• Your Hands run down the origins and duties of all of the various Hands, Masters, Maesters, Ministers, Protectors, Guards, and officers that make up the Westerosi Central Government.
• We also give the Official Learned Hands Guess on what the Master of Laws actually does.
• Merry does what can charitably be described as the worst French accent of all time.
• Clint continues his debate with James Madison, America's daintiest autocrat.
• Extensive digressions on disaster bisexual Alexander Hamilton, the nondelegation doctrine, and Dick Cheney aka irl Tywin Lannister.
• Discussion of how the Faith and the Citadel play into checks and balances and separations of powers.
• We also update the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)

Supplemental reading: 

• Where do pay your dues
• Federalist 47, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.
• Learn other fun and interesting facts about James Madison

Bumpers by Ser Ethan the Bookish.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. . None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

• The Westerosi Seven Kingdoms are compared and contrasted with real-life federal and confederate systems back to antiquity.
• Your hosts have some strong words to say about James Madison, effete dork, slavery enthusiast, and the only US president to allow Canada to burn the Capitol to cinders.
• We evaluate the good-government bona fides of Aegon the Conquerer, Maegor the Cruel, Jaehaerys the Conciliator,  Good Queen Alysanne, Septon Barth, and others. 
• Clint gets so amped up to talk about Federalist Papers that you can hear him vibrating with sheer glee.
• Maester Merry squares off in a LAWYER FIGHT against her greatest ever foe: Maester Merry.
• Answers to your questions about federal taxes, customs, minting, and central banking!
• The return of burrito analogies to explain things like the Anti-Commandeering Doctrine, the Dormant Commerce Clause, Field Preemption, and Younger Abstention (we are sorry, this is a lot). 
• We finally update on the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)

• Where do pay your dues
• Federalist 45, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.

Cold Open and Bumpers by Jimi and Ray.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. Cold Open music composer Nico Maximilian, Audio source: Jamendo. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this VERY SPECIAL YEAR END EPISODE, Merry and Clint give you a rundown of all of the damage 2022 hath wrought and preview the New Year's Content.

In this episode we:

• Take stock of the WBA, our podcast, our lives, and the world in general.
• Liberally rip off other better podcasts.
• Sing the praise of Secret Satin 
• Lay out a roadmap of Learned Hands and the WBA for 2023
• Hit the highlights of 2022 in the world of television, with special shout outs to Better Call Saul, The White Lotus, The Old Man, and more.
• Do FMK for both Merry & Clint's Main Celebrity Crushes.
• Announce our Brand New Masters of Law, Jimi Mac & Dolorous Ray.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In which Your Hands and Special Guest Star Wars Hand Maddie Kay Ray break down the overwhelming success of the first season of ANDOR.

This episode includes:

• Rampant awed confusion as to how something this leftist, anti-fascist, pro-revolutionary, and flat-out great got made by freaking Disney of all companies.
• We compare and contrast it to HotD (yay!), The Expanse (interesting comparison!), Black Sails (which you should watch!), and Rings of Power (lol).
• Maddie tells us her Star Wars Story and takes on the role of Rogue One's primary champion. 
• Merry will not suffer your Prequels slander, and anoints Andor as her favorite fantasy/sci fi of 2022.
• Clint is mostly just horny for Bix.
• EXTENSIVE DRAMATIC SPEECHIFYING. 

Here's Maddie's koji! Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this eleventh and DEFINITELY (probably) final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Dr. Kavita Mudan Finn wrap up the initial season of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

In this episode we:

• Ask Kavita to delve into the real-world historical and Shakespearean influences of the Dance of the Dragons
• Explore the highlights, lowlights, and midlights of the adaptational choices of House of the Dragon, Season1
• Never stop shitting on Criston Cole, the dumb jock who mistakenly thinks he's the protagonist of reality
• Heap endless praise on Laenor Velaryon's storyline, we stan a queer poly king. 
• Speculate wildly on who the fuck Mushroom is, exactly?
• Entertain Clint's theory on who exactly Eustace gets his hot goss from (HINT: Criston).
• Evaluate the Green and Black Councils from the various perspectives we're given in the book and the show
• Argue strenuously that Fire & Blood is Good, Actually
• Wonder why Ryan Condal, friend of the pod, hasn't returned our emails?

Supplemental Reading

• Dr. Kavita on Twitter
• Dr. Kavita's blog
• Blood, Love, (History) and Rhetoric and House of the Dragon

In this tenth and final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint  cover Season 1 Episode 10 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Black Queen

In this episode we:

• Invite everyone to play Learned Hands Bingo courtesy WBA Member Jacob Hufstader! If you win we will probably not give you anything but it might be pretty cool. 
• Detail Rhaenyra Targaryen's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Coronation Day
• Evaluate the Blacks response to the Greens' illegal coup, what they did right, what they did wrong, and what they probably should have thought of more.
• Dive deep into the dragon smorgasbord with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian!
• Pass judgment on whether Aemond is guilty of Depraved Heart Murder (but not in a sexy way).
• Relive the highs and lows of this fascinating season of television
• Clint tries to not get fired while somehow tying this episode into Mrs. Donald Trump, Jr?
• Merry likens the Battle Over Shipbreaker's Bay to the 2022 ALCS.
• Folks we are so tired. You have no idea. Excited for Season 2, but, like, in an exceptionally tired way.

Supplemental reading:

• Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of Succession
• Our Dance Party Episode on the Black Council
• Sanrixian on Patreon

Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this ninth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Kristine Kippins cover Season 1 Episode 9 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Green Council

In this episode we:

• Evaluate the good, the bad, and the suboptimal strategies and events of the Green Coup.
• Track Alicent Hightower's emotional journey from mourning to stressing to plotting and back to stressing SO HARD again.
• Celebrate Mysaria, the White Worm, for quoting not-necessarily marxist theory and listening to the Learned Hands Podcast.
• Pay respects to Lord Lymon Beesbury, He Tried :( .
• Critique Aemond Targaryen's historically and philosophically inaccurate interpretation of the line of succession.
• Check in with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian on the extent of the damage to the Dragonpit. 
• Enjoy Aegon's Wost/Best Hangover ever, where he gains absolute power, gets yelled at by a dragon, and his mom refuses to say she loves him.
• Appreciate Rhaenys' various girlboss power plays, from her dressing down of Alicent, to her casual war crimes, to her decision not to burninate the greens to embers.
• Seriously and solemnly evaluate Larys Strong's pornhub search history, and also what it says about Society. 

Supplemental reading:

• Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of Succession
• Our Dance Party Episode on the Greens Coup
• Sanrixian on Patreon

Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this eighth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Stanford Fraser cover Season 1 Episode 8 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Lord of the Tides

In this episode we:

• Evaluate Vaemond Velaryon's suboptimal litigation strategy and general inability to read the room.
• Sing the praises of our twin Rogue Princes, Daemon and Aemond Targaryen, we are sure they'll get along great.
• Critically analyze the Big Prophecy Twist and ask whether this was at all necessary?
• Do a Westerosi CLE on the concepts of res judicata, ripeness, standing, testamentary capacity, holographic wills, and dying declarations. 
• Appreciate the lawyerly skills of Rhaenys and Rhaenyra, two gunners who never stop gunning, ever.
• Talk about family, life, and heartbreak in the context of Viserys I Targaryen, the Most Mid King in Westerosi History.

Supplemental reading:

• Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of Succession
• Stanford's podcast the Hot Pod Express

Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.