Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In this twenty-ninth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint, and Special Guest Hand Rohanne ask: Is Cersei's walk of atonement effective punishment, and what are its goals?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Acclaimed Cerseiologist Rohanne walks us through Cersei’s thoughts during the walk of atonement from her expert perspective.
• The whole panel agrees Kevan Lannister SUCKS and that he had it coming.
• We discuss the Garden of Eden, taste the sweet apple of knowledge and conclude Eve did nothing wrong.
• We generally agree with Queer Alex that Cersei is too sexy to commit crimes.
• Everyone loves MILFs.
• Clint explains why it is suboptimal for the church to involved in punishing people for crimes.
• Rohanne and Merry muse on Jouissance and the possibly for pleasure outside patriarchy.

Supplemental reading:

• Rohanne and Lo's essay on Cersei, A Most Uncommon Woman, Cersei's Gender Trouble
• Rohanne on Aemy Blackfyre's channel on Cersei and the Patriarchy
• On Conflating Drag with Femininity and Sexuality by Dr. Janega. 
• Clint tweets about Folsom Street Fair

Bumpers by Smarti of the Hollow Hill. Audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

Episode 28: “Dance Party: Vol. VII; A Caution for Young Rulers”

In this twenty-eighth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What can the deaths of Rhaenyra and Daemon tell us about their successes and failures?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Fabulous and important perspectives on revolution from Queer Alex and Dolorous Ray
• A plea to support abortion funds in the United States.
• We finally get to *extremely heavy metal sounds* the BATTLE OVER THE GOD'S EYE.
• Everyone shits on Joffrey for posting spoilers about the end of HotD.
• Broad speculation on Daemon Targaryen's favorite Alkaline Trio song.
• Merry argues that it's probably a bad look to have to sell your crown to take a ship.
• Clint gets to talk about the divine right of kings AND Varys's riddle, so you know he's happy.
• MOONDANCER! MOONDANCER QUEEN! 
• Alfred Broome can go fuck himself. 
• Anyway, Rhaenyra dies when she gets eaten by Aegon II's dragon.
• Your Hands discuss ways that this could have been avoided, and introduce the Dany-Rhaenyra-Stannis scale. 

Supplemental reading: 

• How to find and donate to your local abortion funds
• Link to Queer Alex and Dolorous Ray's letters 
• Eliana's Essay on Dany and Tragic Heroism

Bumpers by Dr. Shiloh Carroll.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this twenty-seventh episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint, and Special Guest Hand Don Zeko ask: What does GRRM’s portrayal of the Wall reveal about the values that motivate criminal law in Westeros and how does it compare and contrast with other forms of punishment?

Our analysis this week includes:

• We take the focus away from liability and into punishment, for once.
• Superhero Public Defender Don Zeko schools us on theories of Westerosi punishment.
• A great debate ensues about who is eligible to take the black.
• Merry quotes The Expanse in an extremely relevant way.
• Clint talks about the 8th Amendment, for fun.
• No one says good things about Nino.
• A judgment is passed on whether the opportunity to take the black is good or bad or neutral.
• Learned Hands pays respect to Maester Luwin, the greatest law professor in Westeros.
• We also talk about Theon. My god, Theon, you dummy.

Supplemental reading: 

• Hadrian's Wall GoT influence
• A critique of Innocence Projects
• Let's talk about prison colonies
• McClesky v. Kemp opinion and dissent

Bumpers by Lo The Lynx. Audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

Episode 26: “Dance Party: Vol. VI; Dance Dance Revolution”

In this twenty-sixth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: Did the people of King’s Landing have the right to revolution? If so, why?

Our analysis this week includes:

• The Smallfolk Strike Back! We cover what happened to get folks to the point where they’re ready to storm the basti… erm, dragonpit. 
• The Return of Clint’s Lockean Right to Revolution.
• Merry responds with some (not necessarily) Marxism. 
• No one trusts a goddamn word Archmaester Gyldayn says.
• Your Hands cover the overlapping terms of riot, revolution, uprising, rebellion, and everything in between.
• General agreement that Cock Taxes are bad.
• We cover what this part of the Dance has in common with the Bread Riots, Stonewall, Watts, Warsaw, Minneapolis, Compton’s Cafeteria, and even the February Revolution.
• Finally, we deliver a final verdict on whether and why the people of King’s Landing had the Right to Revolution.

Supplemental reading: 

• Taking the Enlightenment Seriously Requires a Discussion of Race
• MLK’s Grosse Pointe speech
• Should countries have the right to rebel?
• Was Stonewall a riot, an uprising, or a rebellion?
• Steven Attewell on the Targaryen Dracocracy

Bumpers by Reg Levy. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this twenty-fifth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How should Westerosi sovereigns look at treason and how should it be punished?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Happy Valentine's Day, here's an episode about treason
• Discussion of the Dragonseeds, the good (Nettles), the bad (Hugh & Ulf), and the ugly (HOW DARE YOU TURN ON ADDAM, RHAENYRA!!)
• Your Hands cover First Night, breaking guest right, First Tumbelton, and Tumbelton II; Electric Boogaloo.
• We also say non-ironic actual nice things about Stannis Baratheon(!!!)
• Merry tempts fate, Taylor Swift, and Dany stans all in the same episode 
• Clint cites the Constitution, the Great Statute of Treasons, and dusts off his terrible Jaime Lannister impression
• RIP Hugh and RIP Ulf, no one liked you
• Everyone shits on Tywin Lannister, who is dead

Supplemental reading: 

• Article on treason prosecutions in the US in the context of John Walker Lindh

Bumpers by Aemy Blackfyre. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In which your Hands and friends get excited for Season 6 of the Expanse.

In this twenty fourth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How do the battles in the Dance of the Dragons establish law or precedent?

Our analysis this week includes:

• The glorious return of burrito metaphors
• Your Hands dive back in on the Battle of the Gullet, the Disaster on the Honeywine, the Fishfeed, and the Butcher’s Ball
• Our sports analogies don’t work because both teams have negative points 
• Clint finally gets to gas on about the American Civil War
• Merry defends* her home state of Texas (*lol)
• RIP Jace Velaryon, the North’s strongest Ally
• Everyone has a massive LOL about Criston Cole getting merc’d like an asshole
• Merry & Clint argue about whether Rhaenyra taking the throne has any legal effect

Supplemental reading: 

• Texas v. White opinion

Bumpers by Virginie. Audio Engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this twenty-third episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire, and special guest Akash J. Saran, J.D., ask: Does any leader at the Wall have 'good' immigration policies? How do they compare to those in the real world?

Our analysis this week includes:

• We describe how the Free Folk are similar to refugees, asylees, and immigrants.
• Special guest Akash gives us a full rundown of the history of US immigration laws.
• Merry and her Law Hounds deliver a passionate defense of amnesty.
• Clint does his best accent work, probably ever.
• The team does a deep dive of Jon Snow's immigration policies.
• Learned Hands interrogates the legitimacy of the Wall itself.
• An update on the Westerosi Bar Association and the 2021-2022 Pledge drive.
• A musical cold open.
• Seriously, the accents are bananas.

Supplemental reading: 

Bumpers by Sanrixian. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this twenty second episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What is the legal resolution of the Hornwood Inheritance Crisis

Our analysis this week includes:

• Poor Donella Hornwood gets the respect she deserves.
• Your Hands lay out detail on the family trees of Halys Hornwood, Donella Hornwood, and one or two other surprise Westerosi heirs. 
• Clint makes an extended analogy about feudal property rights and San Francisco real estate that might hit a little too close to home.
• We give everyone a refresher on the laws of succession and play Westerosi Bachelorette!
• George R.R. Martin pays the price for his lack of vision/respect for the common law.
• The True Legal Heir of the Hornwood is identified, alongside the (actual) likely successor.
• Merry gives a bonus lecture about copyright law!
• Clint makes a weird Ferris Beuller reference!
• So many puns.

Supplemental reading: 

• Heirs in the Shadows; Righteous in Wrath, by Good Queen Aly
• Learned Hands Episode 3: “The Wills of Winter”
• Learned Hands Episode 12: “Dance Party Vol. I; The Precedent That Never Was”

Bumpers by Steven Stark. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and Dr. Shiloh Carroll ask: What are the Westerosi rules of chivalry and how do they relate to other chivalric codes, real and fictional?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Dr. Shiloh, who is a real life medievalist expert, learns us all about what chivalry really was and how modern audiences have interpreted (and mis-interpreted) the codes of knighthood.
• We do a deep dive into how the competing ideas of chivalry are reflected in ASOIAF.
• A point-by-point comparison between what we know about the Kingsguard oath and Sir Thomas Malory’s Pentacostal Oath.
• Merry says an unkind word or twenty about Barristan the Bold.
• Clint dusts off his rickety Jaime-as-Doc Holliday impression.
• Everyone wants to get their hands on the White Book.
• Actual Blackfish content on Learned Hands for the very first time.
• The crew issues very specific knightly grades to Barristan, Sandor, Jaime, and Brienne.

Supplemental reading: 

• Shiloh on twitter
• Buy Shiloh’s book
• “Brienne of Tarth, not quite a lady; not quite a Knight” essay by Lo the Lynx
• Medieval Chivalry (Cambridge Medieval Textbooks) (9780521137959): Kaeuper, Richard W.: 
• From Chivalry to Terrorism: War and the Changing Nature of Masculinity (9780679768302): Braudy, Leo: 

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Zach of the North. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.