Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In this episode, our hosts look at the Westerosi criminal “justice” system to see exactly how badly it sucks. Here, Merry & Clint and SPECIAL GUEST LEARNED HAND and public defender Stanford Fraser ask: What evidentiary and due process issues arise from the Trials of Tyrion Lannister?

The Episode also features:

• A discussion of what Tyrion’s guilty “verdict” means for Sansa Stark!
• Terrible New York accents for an extremely dubious reason!
• Stanford tells us how our constitutional due process rights work in actual practice!
• Details on which parts of the Westerosi criminal justice system are the most and least suboptimal!
• Everyone learns about hearsay and its exceptions so that from now on no one will ever get the actual legal definition of hearsay wrong for the rest of your lives!
• The Law of Parties!
• An explanation as to why trial by combat is so pervasive in the seven kingdoms
• One of our hosts approvingly quotes Antonin Scalia! (LOL IT WAS MERRY)

References & Supplemental Reading:

-Clint’s Not Great Bob essay on the Trials of Tyrion Lannister.
-Gideon v. Wainwright (1963).
-How Americans Lost the Right to Counsel 5 Years After Gideon.
-Wrong place at the wrong time, and the Law of Parties.
-Stanford Fraser on twitter.

Intro/Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants.

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and Special Guest Learned Hand Kristine Kippins ask: What are the Westerosi laws around sex work, reproductive rights, gender expression, and sexual discrimination? 

Our analysis this week includes:

• A deep dive into the laws surrounding First Night, including whether they are effectively enforced.
• Kristine gives a powerful oratory about the transformational potential of storytelling.
• Robust debate over whether "put your peen away" is the unofficial motto of this episode.
• Rohanne of Asshai schools us on Cersei's sexuality.
• We decide whether sex work is legal (it mostly is!) 
• In depth discussion of the performance of gender roles as a sword without a hilt.
• BUTTER

This episode is the capper to Episode Six, Let's Talk About Sex, Pt. I, which discusses laws around love, sex and marriage generally. Both episodes should carry trigger warnings for frank discussions of things like rape, sexual violence, and incest. 

Supplemental materials:
-Kristine's podcast Ima Need More Wine. 
-Lo’s wonderful essay on Alleras the Sphinx, and also go read Lo The Lynx's new blog.
-The Public Medievalist on gender, sexism, and the middle ages.
-Buck v. Bell (1925) at Oyez.
-Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1992) at Oyez.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this episode, inspired by Jaime "the Kingslayer" Lannister's iconic so many vows speech, Merry & Clint ask: Did Jaime Lannister appropriately choose which vows to uphold and which vows to forsake from a conflict of interest perspective? From an ethical one?

The Kingslayer's disciplinary hearing also features:

• an in-depth comparison of lawyers and knights!
• enough discussion of the American Bar Association's Model Rules of Professional Conduct that this really feels like it should count as ethics CLE hours!
• the return of Kiwi and Doc Holiday accents, as well as your favorite burrito shop!
• condemnations of nihlism, role morality, and Gerold Hightower!
• the announcement of the WBA's terribly creative punishment for Jaime!

References & Supplemental Reading:

American Bar Association's Model Rules of Professional Conduct

The Preamble to the Texas Disciplinary Rules of Professional Conduct

Luban, David and Wendel, W. Bradley, "Philosophical Legal Ethics: An Affectionate History," 30 Georgetown Journal of Legal Ethics 337 (2017)

Chloe's Braime Spotify Playlist 

In episode 8.5, Clint & Merry debut the WESTEROSI BAR ASSOCIATION—our format for supporting and engaging with the Learned Hands podcast. To celebrate, we summarily answer your questions and announce a donation drive!

To kick off the WBA, we made a shiny, new website where we detail our three membership levels, their perks, and how to apply to join! Credit for our swanky new logo goes to the amazing Abby, who you can find as @prosodi on Twitter. 

Here's how the WBA is different from a patreon campaign:

1. Our dues of $25/50/100 are YEARLY; and
2. Rather than asking for your money directly, we ask you donate to an approved charity or mutual aid network promoting access to justice for the underserved. 

At the Esquire level,  ($25 or a brief westerosi legal essay) the perks of WBA membership include:

• an official WBA Bar number and printable bar card!
• access to the WBA swag shop (with stuff like t-shirts, coffee mugs, blankets, and ... skateboards?)

At the Amicus Curiae ($50) level, you get:

• an invitation to the WBA Slack!
• access to our voluminous show notes
• quarterly exclusive LIVE episodes!

At the Justiciar ($100) level, you also get:

• the quarterly right to submit brief arguments to the pod!
• voting rights on episode topics!
• to BE THE JUDGE and ask us LIVE questions during our live episode!

We’re also kicking off the WBA with a donation drive and logging all the donations you tell us about and giving special public rewards!

• Goal 1, $1k total: we will record a legal drama credits style video to our opening music.
• Goal 2, $3k: we will record a MOCK TRIAL!

In addition to discussing the WBA (with our customary Jameson), we spend about an hour with our mailbag, answering YOUR questions, such as:

• what ONE law would unfuck Westeros!
• how did your hosts get into ASOIAF?
• primogeniture? the worst or the ABSOLUTE WORST?

So, what are you waiting for? Make a donation to a great organization like RAICES Texas or the Transgender Law Center, and APPLY to become a member of the WBA today!

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: In the drought in the Sworn Sword, did Rohanne Webber have the right to dam the Chequey Water?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Rohanne Webber thirst! And thirst in general!
• We all learn about riparian water rights and conceptions of water use!
• The kids are overjoyed to discuss an ACTUAL! WESTEROSI! LEGAL! DOCUMENT! 
• A search ensues for other Westerosi water use issues, which ends up on Tywin!
• Merry details how Eustace Osgrey is an annoying client!
• Clint gets strangely excited to do a dramatic reading of the Blackfyre speech!
• Everyone firmly refuses to do basic math on 20 trees!
• A final JUDGMENT is rendered.

Supplemental reading: 

-The Map of Coldmoat and Standfast from Klaradox.

-Fantastic article on the Indigenous Peoples conceptions of property and land use.

-And another from the perspective of Australian Indigenous Peoples.

-Wiki on the Colorado River Compact.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and ask: Was it legal for Cersei Lannister to be tried or removed by the Faith or Small Counsel?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Merry as the attorney for the Faith and the Estate of Kevan Lannister!
• Clint as the very well-compensated attorney for Cersei!
• LAW-YER FIGHT! LAW-YER FIGHT! LAW-YER FIGHT!
• Clint goes on an extremely predictable long-ass digression about Magna Carta and checks on executive power.
• Merry gives an incomplete but still plenty long-ass list of things Cersei (allegedly) did wrong as Queen Regent and attempts to summarize the Targaryen’s conflict with the Faith!
• Everyone is grossed out by the Kettleblacks!
• The verdict as to who won the Lawyer Fight is left up to YOU, the listener!

We will have a twitter poll up for the week following the publishing of this episode to determine the following questions: 1) Did the Faith have the right to detain and try Cersei? 2) Did the Small Counsel have the right to remove her as Queen Regent?

Supplemental reading: 

-BryndenBFish’s theory on the results of Cersei’s trial.

-Westeros, An American Musical, Act One, and Act Two.

-BryndenBFish on the Faith Militant and Cersei Lanniser, and on an alliance with god. 

-Steven Attewell on the reach of the Sparrows, and on good rulers in Westeros. 

-PoorQuentyn on Cersei’s argument that a ruler owes no duty to her people.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and Special Guest Learned Hand Kristine Kippins ask: Who are you allowed to love, have sex with, and marry in Westeros? 

Our analysis this week includes:

• A departure from the Pod’s normal Question Presented format to give a long, wide, and thicc survey about sex, sexuality, and the law!
• Answers to and discussion of Lo’s recorded questions.
• SO MUCH Oberyn Martell thirst!
• Discussion of whether it’s okay to be gay (it mostly is!) 
• #Jatin stanning as per usual.
• Thorough explanation of laws around consent, polygamy, incest, marriagablilty, and divorce!
• A DRAMATIC SKIT featuring Kristine proving her Learned Hands bona fides by doing a bad Jon Snow accent!

This episode is a necessary prelude to Part 2 of our Let’s Talk About Sex series, coming soonish: Let’s Talk About Sex, Pt. II: Rights and Discrimination 

Supplemental reading: 

-Lo’s wonderful essay on masculine embodiment in ASOIAF, and here's Lo's twitter, you should follow them.
-NobodyExpectsTheButterfly on the complicated relationship between Dany & Irri.
-Interview with Pedro Pascal on Oberyn Martell's punk rock bisexuality.
-Shiloh Carroll's excellent book Medievalism in a Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones. 

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: Did Wyman Manderly Break Guest Right at White Harbor or Winterfell or somewhere in between? 

Our analysis this week includes:

• A dramatic reading of the North Remembers speech!
• LOTS of MEATY discussion about PIES!
• Merry & Clint take turns being lawyers for the (barf) Freys!
• Introduction of the Learned Hands drinking game!
• Sober, academic, and highly technical discussion of defenses to enforcement of contracts, including capacity, duress, fraudulent inducement, unclean hands!
• Creepy Roose Bolton & Sexy Barbrey Dustin!

Most importantly we finally decide, ONCE AND FOR ALL AND WITHOUT EQUIVOCATION, whether Lord Wyman Manderly can be convicted in the Westerosi Courts for breaking Guest Right! Don't miss it!

Supplemental reading: 

• Human Rights Watch tweeting about War Crimes in Westeros
• Winning Westeros: How Game of Thrones Explains Modern Military Conflict.  On page 221, this real, published book, written by real academic people discusses perfidy, Guest Right, and the Red Wedding!

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What is Guest Right and how does it apply to Westeros? 

Our analysis this week includes:

• All your questions about Guest Right, answered!
• We talk about what Guest Right is, where it came from, and what you have to do to invoke it!
• We decide whether there’s a “bared steel” exception to Guest Right!
• Clint talks about suicide pacts, for funsies!
• We put some respect on Gilly’s name!
• Merry teaches us all about Xenia (Not the Warrior Princess)!
• In depth discussion of the elements of contract law in a way that is fun probably!
• We call the Freys bad names! A lot!

This episode is a necessary prelude to Part 2 of our Guest Right series, coming soon: No Crime More Foul, Pt. II: Did Wyman Manderly violate Guest Right? Don’t miss it! 

Supplemental reading: 

-For Clint’s AWARD WINNING essay that he won’t shut up about: Offer, Acceptance, Bread & Salt: A Legal Analysis of the Guest Right Contract.

-Merry gives a history lesson on Guest Right at the Northern Justice Panel at 2019 Con of Thrones.

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. 

In this episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: Is Robb Stark’s will legally enforceable? 

Our analysis this week includes:

• Extensive debate between Merry & Clint arguing opposite sides of this thorny question!
• We decide what happens if Bran & Rickon show up!
• The unveiling of Catelyn Stark’s New Zealand-y accent!
• We decide what happens if Jeyne is knocked up!
• Clint gasses on about social contract theory… AGAIN!
• Sober discussion of fee entail, per stirpes, primogeniture, and feudal inheritance!
• We also say the word “intestate” a lot and mostly manage not to giggle!

This was our longest and most fun episode yet. Don’t miss it! 

Supplemental reading: 

-For a great essay discussing how Martin models his feudalism after the kind of feudalism present in England during the War of the Roses, check out Stephan Sasse’s “A Westerosi Study in Feudalism” at Tower of the Hand.

-GRRM’s November 2, 1999 lengthy digression on the Hornwood Inheritance, feudal politics, and law. 

-GRRM’s November 30, 2012 NotABlog confirming that the WOIAF app is canon.

-Clint’s 2019 essay on Northern Sovereignty, “Why Shouldn’t We Rule Ourselves Again?”

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.