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The boys are back in the bar! Steelers preseason kicks off Saturday night against the Jaguars—are we finally gonna see some sparks fly? Meanwhile, Mario Lemieux and his crew are trying to buy back the Penguins, but their $1 billion bid might not be enough. Over in Penn Hills, someone hit the jackpot with a million-dollar scratch-off at the Giant Eagle on Frankstown Road.

The Pittsburgh Scanner was hot this week: a crate of ammo found in a dumpster, drivers throwing hands at a red light, a driveway hooker standoff, and a guy crushing beers in his truck while screaming at pedestrians. Elsewhere, doctors in Scotland are begging men to stop Botoxing their junk, Denmark's zoo wants your old pets to feed their lions, Jake Paul is suing people for calling his fights fake, and TSA had to remind folks not to hide turtles in their bras. England’s shrimp are on cocaine, a naked man wins $12K after getting caught on Google Street View, and someone tossed another giant green rubber dong onto the court at a WNBA game. All that and more on this week's episode of Greenfield's Finest Podcast!

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