We might not have a show to recap anymore, but we still want to yap! So we're going to talk about a horse that just won't seem to die, how a mid US soccer player cheated on her wife with Brooke from One Tree Hill and is now on her second attempt to rehabilitate her image, with a sports documentary available for free on Roku TV!

It's Ultimatum Day! This show revealed some people's partner was actually their biggest op but don't worry, almost everyone still decides to get engaged! We look on in horror and realize that maybe, Vanessa didn't deserve ALL of that.

We're backkkkkk! After several weeks of this episode languishing in Audacity because we didn't have time to edit, enjoy our thoughts on our contestants the eve of Ultimatum Day. Featuring every couple having the same exact fight for the 5th time this season and the producers gleefully traumatizing marginalized people.

After a chaotic changeover, out contestants spend some time with their original partners who they definitely don't hate and the producers let them out of their adult dorm apartments for some truly egregious snuggle hugs.

It's time for the contestants to go back to their original partner, and literally no one is happy about it. Featuring more of production being awful, far too may prepared statements by Vanessa and dogs witnessing terrible things.

We close out the trial marriages with WWE introductions for people's parents, Aussie's little backpack and some cute red flags just waving in the wind.

It's one for the ages as Kara and Mae remember that Shylo the dog, the first appearance of the security cams and "fingergate" happen in the same episode!

Kara and Mae close out the season one choice (notably lowercase) and move into the first night of trial marriages! There's more of Vanessa being weird. producer malpractice and discourse about butts in the bed.

Kara and Mae recap episode 2 of season 1 of the Queer Ultimatum blissfully unaware of the impending cancellation. There's cheap wine, dramatic cocktail parties and, what we can now definitively say is probably the best fight in the series.

Kara and Mae go back to where it all began, season one of the Queer Ultimatum! We discuss our fresh faced new players, how production has always been bad at addressing toxic relationships and most importantly, an alarming boobs montage.