Lessons for Leaders

I'm talking today about January Blues.

The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday. Apparently this is because this is the time that credit card bills have come in, we realise how much we've spent on Christmas. The weather is cold and wet and dark and then it's not just the day that is doom and gloom, it's often our mood too.

So how you can get through the blue and gloomy days.

Have something to Look Forward To.

It's often a time when people look at booking holidays or even moving house! Creating a feeling of anticipation with what we are looking forward to means we feel excited and then naturally release endorphins, the feel good chemical.

Be More Active.

I know the gyms are full of New Year resolution people but you don't have to do that. Exercise definitely boosts your mood so even just getting out for a walk at lunchtime when there's more daylight can be helpful. Again it releases the feel good chemicals.

Meet Friends.

Although we might feel like we want to stay in and hibernate we need social interaction. We are meant to be around people. You don't necessarily need a big party or group, but meeting friends, talking and laughing is a create mood enhancer.

Look After Yourself - inside and out.

You've probably just spend around a month eating rubbish, cheese and chocolate – I know I have! Reality is that those kinds of diets leave us feeling sluggish and that doesn't help our mood either. Some say that the gut is important as the brain on our mood. So get yourself back to nourishing yourself from the inside and cut out the chocolate, sugars and rubbish. It doesn't have to be salad (it's far too cold for that) it doesn't have to be restrictive either (otherwise you'll just crave it) but it can still be food that is good for you.

Look for Positives

I'm beginning to notice a little bit of lightness in the day. My daughter comes home from school around 4pm most days and I'm beginning to see a bit of brightness at that time. I can already how the days are getting longer. Even if it's just a little. It all helps to give a bit of positivity.

If you've listened for a while, you'll know that I'm big on looking at things that raise your positivity. Find small things in your day that you can be pleased about. They don't have to be super fantastic, just little things that brighten or give you something to be thankful for. Write them down on a regular basis too so that you can see the positivity increasing, even if feels like a rubbish day, there's evidence to remind you that it's not all bad.

Smile

When I walk Charlie, even if it's cold and wet and I'm there with my hat and gloves and wet gear, I still make eye contact, smile at people and say hello. It's surprising how one smile can go a long way to make both you and the other person feel better.

If you're still struggling to feel positive then get in touch and book a call then we can talk about how I can help you.

I'm talking about why I don't make resolutions. As a person who is all about self-improvement, it might sound a bit strange to hear me saying that. Check out the last episode on setting goals!

In 2019 January 17th is Ditch New Year Resolutions Day!

Expectations

Often we think about what we WANT to do, based on what we feel we SHOULD do. It's what everyone else does so maybe we should too? Well, that really depends on your set of expectations. If you are doing something because you feel you should then it's going to forced, it's not going to be comfortable. It might be achievable but it's probably going to be quite difficult. If you think about what you feel you should and then repeat that sentence with the word could and see how it sounds. Do you still really want to do it? Maybe you will, maybe you won't. It will change your perspective and change your expectation of whatever you previously thought you should do!

Timing

January (in the UK anyway) is traditionally a time for hibernation, keeping warm and getting through the cold, dark days. We've now gone past the shortest day and just because days are getting slightly longer it doesn't mean that we need to go out there and be some bright bouncing invigorated way.

It's not really quite the right time for making big changes, it's not a natural time of growth in nature and so it's not a natural time for growth in ourselves either. There are plenty of other times in the year – when there are less expectations and less pressure – for you to set yourself some goals, make changes, build dreams, set resolutions. They don't just have to be done in January.

Consistency

If we want to be consistently growing, changing, adapting then we need to be doing this little and often. So instead of beating yourself up to "Stop this", "Be that", "Do More of the other" – just because it's a New Year Resolution, try making small adjustments to your life, your plans, your goals and you'll soon begin to notice just how achievable they are. Whatever it is that you are setting yourself as that resolution can be a small and consistent thing that becomes second nature.

Success Rate

Apparently about a third of New Year Resolutions don't make it to the end of January! Only about 10% of resolutions last the distance. So I'm not saying that you don't make any New Year Resolutions, just think about your timing. Maybe there are better times for you do make changes – at the new tax year, new school year, at your new year of each birthday? Do what you want and need to do, when you feel you are ready and that way your changes and improvements are quite likely to be more consistent and you can then bask in the success!

So if I want to make goals, changes or set targets I don't wait until January to do it. I make changes whenever I need to. My life, my work, my business is constantly in review. Not in a big way, but gently noticing. I regularly take time to look back every now then, each month, each quarter (and each half term with my daughter) and I celebrate the success and continue along or I make adjustments to ensure my goals and targets meet the needs.

If you're ready to make simple changes with big results and want to talk about how I can help you do that, BOOK A CALL. Lets get clear clear on whats causing your problem and start your journey to success - in the BEST way for you!

http://www.emmalangton.com/contact/

This 8 step plan can be applied to your goals to really support the success of them. If you want help with your goals and mindset, get in touch. Find me at www.emmalangton.com or email from the contact page to get in touch. Here's my 8 steps: 1. Get Clear on Your Goals Ensure you know what it is that you really want to achieve when you set a goal or new resolution. What do you want to get out of it? When you achieve this goal what will it look like, feel like? How will you know if you've got there? Be really specific. These are a couple of goal setting models you can use: SMART Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relative, Timely GROW Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward 2. Write it Down Writing down your goals and plans makes them more real than keeping them in your head! Break it down in steps and stages or achievable chunks. If you want to go to the gym more or do more exercise, plan it into your week, plan the when, where, how. 3. Be Accountable Tell people what you are going to do. This also mean you take responsibility for what goes on. Being accountable means that you're highlighting what you are going to do, and it's really down to you to make it happen (regardless of what happens around you). It's a great way to keep yourself in check. 4. Take Action Please don't sit back and wait for things to happen! You cannot hope that everything will fall into place. So those specific things you said you were going to do, you actually have to do them (even if you feel uncomfortable or it starts out being difficult!) 5. Review Review your plans periodically. That might be every week or month. If some of your plans didn't work, that's OK. It doesn't have to mean it's all over! Review, tweak, change, adjust to make sure your plans continue to work for you. 6. Visualise (9.20m) Visualise how you want your goal to be. How do you want to look and feel? Check out this previous podcast on visualisation. If you're on work successes, what do you want that success look like? Where do you want to be sitting, what do you want to be doing, which people do you want to talk to, what do you want to be talking about and who do you want to be working with? Really think about the details. How will you talk? Think of your body language. Thank about the images like your diary / bank balance / desk space. It all helps add depth and detail. 7. Affirm Your Mindset Mindset is so important. Some people say mindset accounts for about 85% of successes! So do work on your mindset too. Create a phrase or two about how you want to think, how you want to be, what it is that you are going have or do. Ensure you use present tense for these phrases and affirmations like "I can do this". "I am confident". 8. Repeat Each Day Each day, get this into your routine. Visualise your goals and take action, check, adjust then repeat. Little and often stops the overwhelm and negativity. Let me know how you get on! Get your free overwhelmemmalangton.activehosted.com/f/5

Today I'm talking about self care. Now before you roll your eyes (I do too) there's such a bit misconception about self care and what it is. Self care is a necessary function that we all need in our lives. In this fast paced world we seem to forget to put ourselves first. "You cannot pour from an empty cup" You need to fill up yourself first. Self care is about actions and things you do in your life that help to protect, maintain, develop or improve your health, wellbeing, your emotional and physical states. In other words, we need to look after ourselves. Often we think we're looking after ourselves, but we're not making time to nourish ourselves, to nurture, to rest, to replenish, to enjoy. It's about being fit, healthy, kind .. you could go back through all the podcasts I've done! It's so easy to just carry on doing all the things that need doing in our lives, or telling ourselves that we don't deserve it, that it's pointless or selfish. Self care is absolutely essential. Remember a car needs regular maintenance, so do we. Remember too the essential things we need to know when we're on an aeroplane and putting the oxygen mask on ourselves. We're no good to anyone else if we cannot breathe! Often self care is about doing small things so that you can be the best that you can be. 4.38 Listen to Emma talk about how she had total recognition about when she needed to ensure her own self care was essential, to be available to support her children. "Self care is more than just a scented candle!" "I wouldn't be here today, supporting the family, running the business, helping others, working 1:1 and in companies without self-care." How much and how frequently you put in self care depends on your circumstances. What works for me will not work for you. It needs time to assess and find the individual thing that works for you. 8.35. Why Do We Need Self Care Now? In the olden days, life was much simpler then. People did one thing at a time. Reading the newspaper, darning socks, watching the flames in a coal fire or had conversations with each other! In this fast paced world we can watch tv and have phone in hand and talk to kids or partner and have work stuff in your head. That's why we need the self care. 11.25 How to Find Self Care That Works For You? It's about finding things that help you feel balance, in control, that life energies or relax you down. Find times that you just stop or rest for a bit. - Read a book - Listen to music - Watching tv (but stop multi-tasking) - Sit with kids, connect, have a snack and a cuppa (whilst it's hot) You don't always need to spend a lot of money or take time away - Have a bath, but lock the door - Take a walk - Get into nature and notice the surroundings - Learn a breathing technique Nourish Yourself - Drink water (not the tonic in your gin) - Healthy food - Have a snooze / meditate / self hypnosis - Cuddle someone, increase your love hormone called oxytocin - Ask for help or share with friend or partner Be Kind to yourself - Forgive yourself for mistakes or judgements - Be accepting or circumstances instead of fighting or raging - Get boundaries in order with clear priorities - Pick your battles, we can't make others do things - Decide where to put your energy for the best impact for success (it might be you) Sometimes you need to put energy into you first and then decide where you need to be to support others. Give Yourself Permission - Spend a bit of money on yourself (doesn't have to be lots) - Buy some flowers - Get the Ahh factor from little treats - Schedule time out Raise your feel good chemicals - Laughter, especially a good belly laugh - Smile at people - Talk to someone in the street - Exercise, although it might need scheduling. Finding the things that help you. And recognise that these interests can change over time. Let me know what works for you. Contact me at www.emmalangton.com Get the Self Doubt Guide bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide

We all have times when anxiety is in our life. I want you to begin to consider that everyone feels anxious from time to time. I know that often people feel like it's just them. The key to helping you overcome anxiety is recognising it's there. Anxiety is worrying or a feeling of unease, fear or worry. All of us can have some form or level of anxiety in our lives, although usually in a mild way or for a short period of time or because of a particular event or circumstance in our lives. There might be anxiety about everyday things. Listen when I explain what might cause anxiety and some anxieties that come up in my house. Anxious symptoms can differ from person to person. Listen in where I list what some of these might be. Sometimes we can trace things back to a specific time, place or situation when they began to feel frightened, worried or anxious. Those feelings can be repeated and re-played on a regular basis. There may be life circumstances, like a busy job, work pressure or hectic home life that leave someone feeling anxious. What you might not realise is that your diet may impact the way you feel. If you really want to overcome anxiety it's often worth taking a bit of time to consider where it's coming from or what might be causing it. Although I do recognise that sometimes we have no idea. What helps us overcome anxiety? Breathing - Taking a deep breath down into your stomach releases feel-good chemicals, which in turn help to calm down the brain and body functions. It's been scientifically proven to help calm us. Stop the Catastrophe 16.10m Our brain is wired to assess a situation and make quick decisions. This means we can often run away into doom and gloom and everything is a catastrophe. When that happens we need to bring this back. Be Logical 17.35m Once you've done the breathing and calmed down, you can be more logical and analyse the situation and look for another outcome than can happen. Is there any other way I can look at this? Is there any other reason I can have for this thinking? How true is my thinking? What other way can I begin to think about this scenario? Instead of focussing on the catastrophe you begin to see possibility. Control the emotions 19.45m So we want to make sure that we are not getting into a situation where our emotions control our reasoning. Those emotions are a pain in backside when they kick off and stop us doing things we want to do. Speak to someone 19.45m So it's also important to speak to other people. Often those thoughts go round and round in our heads and if we can just manage to speak to someone about what's going on in our head, or tell someone how we are feeling then the anxiety calms right down. It's important to increase our feel good chemicals to balance out the good stuff with the anxious chemicals. Exercise 22.25m Exercise is also great for boosting those feel-good chemicals, rather than having those anxious thoughts and feelings. This doesn't have to be at the gym. It might just be a walk in your lunch-break or a run round the park with your kids. Music 23.40m Music is a great way to increase the feel-good feelings. I know people who have created particular play-lists which are calming or upbeat. Journalling 24.40m Writing things enables you to connect with the thoughts and feelings. It might also help you recognise patterns of anxiety or just offload thoughts each day. Healthy Diet Diet is so important. If you've been anxious all day then go for take-away or quick food it might be loaded with sugar and that's not good for anxiety. Try to plan ahead for any anxious or difficult days. The more you work on anxiety the easier it is to stop it taking hold. It's really OK that different things work for different people. Find out what helps you to stop your anxiety. Find me at www.emmalangton.com or email from the contact page to get in touch. Get your free overwhelm emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/5

Resilience is all about our ability to bounce back from challenges, difficulties and set backs in life. This week I talk about how you can ramp up your resilience to be able to deal with all that life throws at us. - Assess the situation - Check out the emotions, thoughts and feelings and what to do with them. - Look for different scenarios - Make plans to be able to deal with challenge - Take time out to rest or recover from the impact or clear space if needed - Ask for support or just find a way to offload - Look after your physical and mental health With these ways we can continue to improve our resilience to deal with whatever life throws at us. Contact me at http://www.emmalangton.com/contact/ if you have comments or questions about this or to book a discovery call to work with me. Get your free guide 7 Steps from Overwhelm to In Control https://www.emmalangton.com/overwhelm/

If you struggle with confidence or don't always feels confident then this episode will be helpful for you. Your self-confidence (or lack of it) isn't written in stone. You can learn, increase, practice self-confidence such like any other skill. Once you increase your self-confidence your life will seem so much better and easier. We look at What Confidence Is and the steps we need to take to increase our self confidence. Emma talks through steps of - Recognise - Get Started - Practice - Self Talk - Support - Reflect - Success There's a great story about how Emma supported her daughter with her confidence building and recognition that not everything can be scripted in life. We need to get comfortable having a go. You can work with Emma on your confidence at: at www.emmalangton.com/workwithme or get your free self doubt to self belief guide at http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide The key to maintaining great self-confidence is to have all these ways that we can use to bounce back.

What do we do when a Fear of Rejection stops us from moving forward and achieving? When we have a fear of rejection it can prevent us applying for jobs, asking for a pay-rise, sharing information about our work, promoting ourselves, giving an opinion …. the list is endless. Book a call with Emma to discuss how this can help you at at bit.ly/30minsappt Listen as Emma explains why we fear rejection and covers ways of overcoming it with - Check out the root cause - Learn tools to keep emotions under control - It's not personal - Keep perspective. - Improve your Resilience She shares how she overcame the fear she had too. Nowadays it's very different way of surviving. So those no's and rejections don't have the power that our primitive brain think they have! Don't let yourself get caught up in that fear of rejection. You can take action so that you no longer have to cope with the frustration of not getting where you want to be or not taking steps to get the outcomes you want.

This week I'm joined by Vicki Nicolson, Branding Designer to talk about getting the balance in business. You can find more about Vicki's work at www.vickinicolson.com In middle of August Vicki had sent an email saying she was finally finding the balance in her business and the school holidays. Emma invited her onto the podcast to talk about how Vicki got that balance today in her Branding Business. Vicki talks about starting the business 3 years ago and despite thinking it's going to be great running a business we have to do all things in the business, with accounts, marketing, key word google searches and a whole lot more. She found herself overwhelmed even though she was doing something she loved. We chat through the realisations, the self development, the support, outsourcing and what is the deal-breaker for Vicki. Vicki shares why she does this and how it's important to remember this. Finally, we talk about what managing time and boundaries look like for Vicki too

How do we maintain positive thinking in our lives? Does it sounds easier said than done? This isn't just about telling ourselves things are "fine" or repeating phrases and affirmations like "today is a great day". When we start to think positively we are re-wiring our brain. We create new neural pathways so that eventually, thinking positive becomes automatic. Listen as Emma dives into some tips on how to think positively and explains that negative thinking is a survival instinct. - Notice positives every day. Take 5 minutes each morning, evening, on your journey home to think about your day. - Keep a Perspective. It's so easy to have the last hour of the day to difficult and then be telling yourself it was a rubbish day! - Turn negatives around by changing the way you speak about difficulties. - Surround yourself with positive people who support you. Book a call to discuss working with Emma at http://bit.ly/30minsappt or go to www.emmalangton.com