Lessons for Leaders

Did you know that the way we talk to ourselves can have a massive impact on the way we think, feel and view ourselves? So many times Emma hears people with negative self talk.

"I'm no good at …"

"I can't do …."

"I'm so silly"

"I'm fat"

"I don't deserve ……"

In this episode Emma explains what happens when we are negative about ourselves and how we can change that.

Maybe you already know some of the things you say about yourself, or maybe you need to take a little time to actually listen to the words you use, the phrases you say and the way you talk to yourself and even about yourself. What do you hear? Negative phrases and comments can become embedded in your subconscious mind so that you repeat them without realising. Once you start listening to yourself you'll be surprised at what you hear.

If you want to make improvements in your own self talk and improve the way you think and feel about yourself then you need to be your own best friend. Think about how you might guide and advise your best friend and then turn that phrasing, positivity and praise towards yourself. It might not be easy for you to hear – initially. It will get better and easier the more you do it.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others around you too. Although we're working on self talk, all talk is important. It's much easier to have complete positive thoughts and language rather than kind words for yourself and forgetting to be positive and kind to others around you! If you see someone with great hair or gorgeous shoes, say so! If your child shows nice manners, say "hey nice manners". You will feel good, but you know what? They will too and so it improves the attitude of everyone around you that you interact with. That in itself reduces the negativity.

We are rubbish at this. Particularly us with the good British stiff-upper -lip / don't-show-our-feelings. When we don't show our feelings to others, we don't show them to ourselves. So, start to complement yourself. Do this regularly and see if you notice a difference in the way you feel about yourself.

Talking more positively to ourselves will have a great impact on the way we view ourselves. You start to embed more positive comments and phrases in your subconscious mind, so they become more automatic and then progress and positivity gets easier and easier. So go on, start today, change the way you talk to yourself. You deserve it!

You can get in touch with me, let me know how you get on with this or to book a call so we can talk about how to re-programme that negativity and get your feeling great about yourself.

When things get too much in life, physically, mentally or emotionally it's good to have somewhere to go to calm, recover, feel safe or to feel happy again. That's why you need a Happy Place. Emma talks you through why you need a happy place and how to create your very own. It doesn't matter whether it's real or imaginary, when you've created yours you can take yourself there, in your mind, to rest, recover or just re-set our feelings and emotions.

Think of somewhere that makes you feel happy, calm safe (or some other positive feeling). This place can be real or imaginary! It doesn't have to be in your house or nearby.

• Take 5 minutes or so to sit somewhere comfortable.
• Think of a place where you are completely relaxed, feeling happy or safe or calm
• Imagine it vividly – colours, sounds, textures, temperature, smells – everything.
• Notice how you feel in this place. Are you happy, calm or relaxed.
• Notice where, in your body, you feel these happy or calm feelings.
• Give this place a name or a title.

Regardless of where you are, whatever you are doing, practice thinking of or saying this name or title and notice those good feelings flowing around your mind and body.

When we have a place like this, real or imaginary, we can take ourselves there to rest, recover or just re-set our feelings and emotions. Notice with all your senses what you see hear, touch, smell, taste and even the temperature. This can change the sensations in our mind and body from whatever is unpleasant or negative to being more positive and comfortable.

My place (because I love being warm) is in a sauna which is not readily accessible! However my mum's place is in her sewing room, with her sewing machine. Making lovely quilts, bags, cushions is her favourite pastime.

So where could yours be? If you struggle to think of somewhere look through holiday brochures or magazines for inspiration. Maybe you saw something in a film or a book? You can even make one up from a collection of ideas to create the best place ever!

You can get in touch with me, let me know what your happy place is or to book a call so we can create one together.