Lessons With A King

Lesson 144: Acceptance Is Step One

I have a few mantras but acceptance is one I need to figure out a mantra for because acceptance is the key to a very simple, easy, stress-free life. When you learn the power of acceptance and practice it, a lot of beautiful things happen. When you accept something, you can start working to be better or to fix what needs fixing. Acceptance is only step one, though, so don't forget that a lot of work is required after you've accepted things.

PROMPT: Mention three things you've accepted. Why do you accept them?

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Lesson 143: Filter Feedback

Not all feedback is good feedback. We need to understand and accept this. My approach to feedback is to listen to it all but if you give me feedback without a reason then that gets discarded right away. If you say my stuff is crap without reason, well, how can I get it better?

PROMPT: How do you decide what feedback to keep and which to discard?

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Lesson 142: Fail Forward 

If we will fail at some point, we should make plans to fail forward. That is failing in such a way we are not broken but we learn the lesson and carry it forward. We move forward better than we were before that failure. That is a wonderful mindset to have and one we should all cultivate considering that at some point, we will fail.

PROMPT: When was the last failure you learned from? What was the failure? What was the lesson? 

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Lesson 141: You Will Mess Up

 Striving for perfection isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, it can get you caught up in a cycle that will run you down. Don't get me wrong, always aim for an amazing outcome but don't beat yourself if you mess up because that's pretty much baked in. As human beings, we are fallible so we will mess up. What matters is what we do after the mess up. Will you lie down and sulk or will you pick yourself up, clean up the mess, learn the lesson and move on? Up to you.

PROMPT: What was your last mess up? How did you handle it?

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Lesson 140: Memento Mori

Memento Mori is Latin for 'remember that you [have to] die'. As human beings, we are pretty much guaranteed death. We might not know when or how but we know that death will come. No that isn't being morbid, it's just the fact. I do believe it is a fact that can help put things in perspective when we are about to worry over mundane things. At that moment life might end and all you were doing was bickering over what doesn't really matter. We should stay focused on important things in life and be thankful for the now by using it to help others. I believe we are here to help each other till we are not here anymore so we should do just that.

PROMPT: If you were going to die today, what would you want to be remembered for? Why?

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Lesson 139: Learn To Reframe

Reframing is something we should do. Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then changing the way situations, experiences, events, ideas, and/or emotions are viewed. The purpose of reframing is to help a person experience their actions, the impact of their beliefs, etc. from a different perspective (frame) and potentially be more resourceful or have more choice in how they react. I like to think of the frame in filmmaking where we see what's inside the frame but we can zoom in or out to less or more as needed. That's how we should approach events, we can reframe things to have a positive outlook.

PROMPT: What was the last thing you had to reframe? What was the previous frame?

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Lesson 138: Validate Emotions 

As I said yesterday, we are emotional beings so we should not be afraid to open up. However, here's the thing, when we open up we shouldn't be surprised to have people open up in return. Thing is this, when people express their emotions you should be willing to accept it. If they open up and you don't accept them, all you are doing is pushing them away. Accept people and validate their emotions.

PROMPT: How comfortable are you with people expressing their emotions around you?

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Lesson 137: Evoke Emotions

We are emotional beings. We feel. We feel, deeply. So when you are given the opportunity to share with people, take it and be vulnerable. We want to feel something and we want to form our tribe. This is inside everyone. What you need to do is, stay open, stay honest and speak from the heart. When you do these, you evoke emotions, you make us feel something special.

PROMPT: How emotional are you?

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Lesson 136: Treat Everyone Like It's Their Last Day

We are all here to take care of each other. This is something I learned from my grandmom and something I believe, strongly. It can be difficult to do this when things are... well, the way they are now. One thing that helps is to treat everyone you meet as if today were their last day on earth. If you knew your friend was dying today, wouldn't you do all you can to make sure they are happy? 

PROMPT: If you knew today was the last day on earth for that person, how would you treat them? Why?

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Lesson 135: Create Systems

A system is a set of things working together as parts of a mechanism or an interconnecting network; a set of principles or procedures according to which something is done; an organized framework or method. Having a system makes life a lot better. When you find you are doing things over and over, it is a good indication that you might need a system for it. One more thing, you should be willing to adapt your system as is needed.

PROMPT: Do you have any systems? If yes, share one? How did you develop it and why?

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