Let It Be

Kelly has recently finished reading Mark Manson’s new book, The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*** and was struck hard by what he calls Manson’s Law of Avoidance.

So aside from the fact that Kel now wants to discover and name a law of something (Exeter’s Law of Providing Value in Conversation has a nice ring to it?) the law itself really struck a chord.

Manson explains that, “The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid doing it.”

“That means that the more something threatens to change how you view yourself, how you believe yourself to be, the more you will procrastinate ever getting around to doing it.”

Given recent episodes where Kelly and Brooke have discussed change and assumptions and the pain involved in shifting our habits, this is an awesome topic to dive deep in to. Not surprisingly, they come at it from very different places.

Kelly from a place of personal improvement and Brooke from a place of fear. What neither of them really expected though was for it to be so uncomfortable, and to delve in to the idea of not being universally liked.

 

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In today’s episode Brooke and Kel talk all about writing. Specifically, what it is they like about it, what they find difficult and why they continue to write in spite of the fact that it can be difficult.

Brooke is in the middle of writing her first book while Kelly is actually in the process of completing her third book right now, so writing is very much front and centre for both of them. As people who write (albeit less now that they’re podcasting multiple times every week – the irony is strong in this one!) the question is: why? Why do we write? Why is it important to commit our thoughts to the page on a regular basis.

Kelly talks a lot about the impact she wants her words to have on the world, while Brooke finds writing helpful in figuring out exactly what she’s thinking. Brooke also shares that she’s really enjoying the writing process so far – though maybe that’s because her deadline is still a comfortable distance away. 

Both Kel and Brooke have other writers they look up to, and both girls share their tips and insights from their respective (unofficial!) writing mentors.

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Have you ever met someone who made you challenge your assumptions? Or someone who forced you to stop and question the stories you were telling yourself?    In today's episode Kelly talks about the frustrating experience of meeting someone like this - a complete contrarian whose constant questioning challenged her to rethink her entire worldview - and the changes that have come as a result. This experience leads in to a great conversation between Brooke and Kel about the stories we tell ourselves and the assumptions we make, as well as the challenge that is changing them.    Both Brooke and Kel have had experiences that forced them to challenge their assumptions, and today Brooke talks about her recent realisation regarding chakra cleansing (YES. SERIOUSLY.)  It's always interesting to dig in to the stories we tell ourselves and the obstacles they put in our way, but as Kel and Brooke discuss today, so much growth lies on the other side of them it's almost always worth asking the question, "Why?"    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” (Nelson Mandela)

Both Kel and Brooke have had to make some pretty massive life changes after reaching breaking point over the past few years, and in today's episode they talk about change - more specifically, why they think it took them getting to that breaking point to actually make the changes they needed.

What both Brooke and Kel realise in today's conversation is that self-awareness is key in making adjustments in life before things get to breaking point, but also going through the breakdown and subsequent transformation is what has given them that self-awareness.

Kelly also talks through a blog post of hers that explores the seven reasons you can’t make changes you want (and how to overcome them), which includes:

• We feel trapped/like we have no options
• I’ve tried changing but nothing works
• This is just how life is
• I know changes need to be made, but I’m too exhausted
• People won’t accept the changes I need to make unless things are desperate
• Surely if I just keep pushing I’ll get there (but we don't actually know what 'there' looks like
• I don’t deserve anything better than what I’ve got right now

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It's not often Kelly and Brooke get to record their conversations in person, so when they knew they'd be attending the Problogger conference together in early September, it was too good an opportunity to pass by.    Given previous episodes where both Brooke and Kel have shared their discomfort at attending big, busy events, networking, meeting new people and walking in to a room full of strangers, they thought a discussion on comfort zones would be fascinating. Add to that the fact that Kel didn't have the opportunity to prepare ahead of recording, and you have a very timely exploration of comfort/discomfort.    Turns out Kel and Brooke have similar ideas on what happens when they stay inside their comfort zones too long, as well as what happens when we intentionally put ourselves outside them. Kel talks about the idea that 'nothing good ever comes on this side of your comfort zone' and both she and Brooke share some examples of a time where getting comfortable with being uncomfortable has paid off.   Brooke also talks about being more confident to head out of her comfort zone these days, and the need to return to it sometimes in order to recallibrate and learn.   Such a fun and interesting conversation this week and great listening for anyone looking to expand into the unknown or uncomfortable - even just a little.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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This week's episode explores the idea of 'home' which turns out to be a super fascinating topic for Brooke and Kel as they really couldn't be more different.

Kel prefers to be at her home in Perth more than anywhere else in the world, whereas Brooke has an insatiable wanderlust and would happily live on the road forever. In fact, she finds herself feeling anxious just at the thought of having to stay in one place for the rest of her life!

In this episode Kel talks about why home, as a place, is so important to her and how it helps her to feel at ease and in control of life. Conversely, Brooke shares why home isn't a place to her, but rather the rituals and relationships that happen inside a place.

Interestingly though, Brooke is discovering that as her kids get older and roots start to grow a little deeper, there is a slowly growing feeling of being anchored and she talks a little about why that's challenging for her.

One thing both Kel and Brooke agree on though is the idea of home being a place of security and safety, and how fortunate they are that this is the case.

Such an interesting one this week!

Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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If you've listened to the show for any length of time you might suspect that Brooke and Kel are somewhat introverted, (or possibly a whole lot introverted!) and in today's episode they chat about what that means to them, how it impacted them growing up and the obstacles and benefits of being introverted as an adult.    They talk about the difference between being introverted and being shy, and why you can be one without the other, as well as coping strategies they both use when they find themselves in intense social situations. Brooke also wants to make something clear - she isn't aloof! She simply has a life-long case of RBF.    Getting to know ourselves - our quirks, strengths, weaknesses and weirdnesses - is a key part of creating a more contented life, and both Brooke and Kel have done some hardcore exploring over the past few years. Understanding who they are and why they tick has helped to not only create that contented life of more being and less doing, but it's also lead them to a greater sense of calm and self acceptance too. Which has little to do with being an introvert and more to do with spending time getting to know ourselves.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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After an impromptu mid-year break Kel and Brooke are back!    We all experience the red-hot bubbling feeling of resentment occasionally - be it in a romantic, professional or social relationship - and in this episode Brooke and Kel dive into what resentment actually is, how they personally experience it and what measures they've put in place to minimise the negative impact it's had on their lives.    Kel shares a recent experience with resentment at home, how it manifested itself, and what she did to stop it from becoming a poisonous influence on her relationship. Brooke talks about the realisation that so much of her anger stems from resentment, and specifically her frustration with not communicating clearly what she needs.   Brooke also talks about the importance of self-awareness and learning to 'feel your feelings', identify what's causing them and communicating what you need, as a way of combating resentment.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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Today Brooke and Kel talk about the idea of going fast some times, in order to go slow in others. And it's this juxtaposition, this seemingly contradictory approach to how we spend our days, that's at the heart of slowing down and living a more intentional life.    Far from the assumptions that her life is now slow and relaxed ALL THE TIME, Brooke shares her love for 'fast' and the effectiveness of a good deadline pressure, as well as her tendency to front-load her work in order to have regular go-slows.    Kel is far more organised in her approach to going fast to go slow (which surprises no-one) and shares how she creates blocks of time in her days where she has permission to do things in a less efficient way. Brooke is not particularly efficient so this idea is mind blowing.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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'Me Time'. It's a phrase that makes both Kel and Brooke cringe, so in today's episode they unpack why exactly that is.    They talk about their own idea of me time (not a pedicure or a facial in sight!) and why it took them so long to understand its importance. Brooke talks about the seasons of life and how some times a 3 minute grab of quiet is all we're going to get, as well as the change in her life this year as both kids have started school.    They talk about the perception of me time as being selfish and entitled, as well as the opposite ways they were raised to think about think about it. After tiring of saying the phrase 'me time' 167 times in this episode, they've also decided it needs a rebrand!    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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