Let's Talk Soon

Episode 84 Redefining the Goal
Show Notes
 
In this episode, Tricia returns to the book they discussed last time, Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Authors Emily and Amelia Nagoski talk in their book about the value of redefining “winning.” Apparently, our brains are constantly reassessing the task we are attempting, whether it is possible—and/or worth it. Sometimes, our brains realize that it’s going to be necessary to redefine the win to make the goal attainable, or to match the new direction we’ve chosen to go instead. Rob has had plenty of experience with this principle in his acting and recording roles, in which recording can be a tedious process.
Sometimes, to be successful and “win” at a difficult process, the authors suggest that you “redefine winning.” Tricia and Rob engage in a lively discussion of experiences from their own lives that further illustrate what it means to ‘redefine the win,” particularly as it is demonstrated in the performing arts, or writing a book—or keeping up a home!
 
Quotes
“Movies will make you famous, television will make you rich, live theatre will make you good.” –quoted by Rob, author unknown.
“We want the audience dancing out of the theatre…everything will lead to this emotional place where they just cannot wait to jump to their feet in applause at the end; they want to join the fun that is happening onstage, and they will dance out of the theatre into the parking lot like a New Orleans parade!” – Rob
“Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” –Cesar A. Cruz
“So, making a recording is a long, difficult process. Putting on a production: long, difficult process. Writing a book: long difficult process. You know what else can be a really long, difficult process? Cleaning my kitchen!” – Tricia
“Sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to do, in order to do the things you do want to do.” – Polly (Tricia and Rob’s mom)
“Dysentery from my kitchen?? That’s horrific!” – Tricia
“There should be at least one sentence in everything I make that causes me to be like, ‘Man, that’s good! I like that sentence! I like how that came together.’” – Tricia
“We do not do this: we do not use exclamation points! It’s like laughing at your own joke!” – Tina Fey
 
 
Sources Quoted (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
 
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
 

Episode 83 Human Being vs. Human Giver
Show Notes
 
Tricia and Rob’s discussion on this podcast was prompted by a recent interview Tricia heard on Brene’ Brown’s podcast series, Unlocking Us, that featured a discussion on the book, Burnout, the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski.  In her book, Nagoski specifically focuses on burnout and what it looks like, especially among women.  One of the emotions Nagoski describes is called Human Giver Syndrome (initially described in Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny): when one class of people, the human givers, are expected to offer their time, attention, affection and bodies, willingly and placidly to the other class of people, the human beings. Generally speaking, in our society, women are the Givers. In this episode, Tricia discusses the stressors that Givers can feel and how to release the stress that will get your body breathing deeply again. Rob and Tricia discuss several practical ways to relieve stress, based on advice from the experts: choose the music that helps you to release stress, or watch a movie that allows you to feel the emotions that are already brewing anyway, such as anger or sadness, or a great way is to release stress is simply to laugh! 
Still feeling stressed? Try the “six-second kiss!’
Quotes
“’Beings’ just get to just ‘be.’  They are born with a light on their noggins of glory and hallelujah, they were “born to be.” – Tricia
“We givers are tired.  We might even be approaching the space of…very tired.” –Tricia
“You can’t necessarily step away from the stressors.  I mean…you gave birth to them. They’re staying.” – Tricia
“Be mindful of your ‘tone policing!’” – Rob
“If looking at that hard truth in the mirror causes you to feel uncomfortable, that might be the thing that we need to address.” – Tricia
“I dare say there is an inner Miss Piggy in most of us…” – Tricia
“Physical activity is what tells your brain that you have successfully survived the threat, and now your body is a safe place to live.” – Tricia, quoting
Sources Quoted (more information available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Burnout: the Secret of Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski
Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny, by Kate Manne
Bossypants, by Tina Fey
 

Episode 82 Calling Out vs Calling In

Show Notes

In this episode, Tricia and Rob begin with a lively discussion about Jerry Seinfeld’s latest book, Is This Anything?

Rob brings this question to today’s discussion: When do you think it is important to be public in your calling out of poor behavior, versus when it is important to be private about it?  Is it best to always be private about calling someone out, or should the size of the audience who witnessed or heard the offense match the calling-out response?

Quotes

”Peter knows coffee and bacon like other people know brain surgery!” –Tricia

“If we knew there were just thousand of appetites just lined up, one right behind the other, why would we be so careful to not spoil this one? There are millions of appetites lined up right behind this one, just waiting for me to use them!” – Tricia and Rob, loosely quoting Jerry Seinfeld

“I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about who they are, least of all my kids—publicly! We are figuring out lots of things in this house privately, as a foursome.” – Tricia

“Why do we have two ears and one mouth? To do twice the listening and half the speaking.” – Tricia

“Love first, then correct.” – Phil Vaughan

“Are you capable of celebrating what someone else is enjoying?” – Rob

“An open invitation is an unbearable expectation for some of us. You know what that sounds like? Not my problem! I’m not going!  But…that’s not me.” – Tricia

“I’m not triple-booked; I’m triple-invited.  I’m probably not going to do any of those things today…” –Rob

Sources Quoted (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)

Is This Anything? –a new book by Jerry Seinfeld

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!