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Let's be real - I know how frustrating it is to struggle with constantly getting defensive and having absolutely no idea how to fix it. I've watched so many videos on this topic to help my own defensiveness...and none of them give you actual tools and scenarios that you can apply and work through! This video is different. Using hundreds of hours of therapy, research, and practice in my own life, I've condensed it down to 9 steps that actually work to help us remain calm, and not jump to defense mode every time we're triggered. It's just you and me here, working on getting better at this whole relationship thing, step by step. I've been there (and find myself back here again very often), and if I can make these changes 2 degrees at a time, so can you. Let's tackle this together.
The book mentioned in this episode that has been a great help when it comes to communicating through defensive postures is Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
You found this video because the thing you want most is to find happiness in your relationships, and also in your own life. And maybe that's because you are currently NOT happy. Or want to be happier. You're not alone. In fact...this is me too. Here's the good news. In this video, we are discussing the 3 key ingredients to becoming happier, and also the 4 necessary goals one needs to have in their pursuit of happiness - straight from the research and science of happiness directly! Let's go.
A lot of what was discussed in this episode is from the work and research of Dr. Arthur Brooks, the Harvard Happiness Professor who has spent decades of his life researching happiness, and also wrote the NYT Best-Selling book " From Strength To Strength" and now just recently co-authored a book with Oprah: "Build The Life You Want."
If you want to hear more from Dr. Arthur Brooks, I recommend his Diary Of A CEO podcast episode and his interview on the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
Feel awkward in conversations and/or hate small talk? Then this video is for you. In this episode, Zoe shares her personal experience on how she learned to ask better questions, revealing 5 killer techniques that you can use today! We are exploring open-ended questions, emotional intelligence, the power of "what" and "how" oriented questions, and more, all to help to create meaningful connections.
Special thank you to this episode's sponsor: The Party Q's App, the FREE app that offers a HUGE variety of thought-provoking and conversation-starting questions to break the ice and get the party going. Party Q's is the ultimate wingman for your social life.
Available on the App Store and Google Play, as well as a web version for you to play right now! Download Party Qs today - You will love it!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
The opposite of anxiety is peace, and in today's episode with Dr. John Delony, we are talking through exactly how to build a non-anxious life and ultimately find peace, in ALL of your relationships. We're discussing the complexities of vulnerability in relationships, plus the difference between trust-building and oversharing. We're then exploring the consequences of the 'I don't want to bother people' mentality, the overuse of the term "toxic," and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Then, we are discussing how and where to find peace-filled safe connections, and Zoe gets called out on her anxiety, and what can be done to turn the anxiety alarms down in our life.
You can connect with Dr. John Delony on IG here, and snag his new best-selling book "Building A Non Anxious Life" wherever books are sold!
Special thank you to this episode's sponsor: The Party Q's App, the FREE app that offers a HUGE variety of thought-provoking and conversation-starting questions to break the ice and get the party going. Party Q's is the ultimate wingman for your social life. Available on the App Store and Google Play, as well as a web version for you to play right now! Download Party Qs today - You will love it!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
Imagine heading into college anxious to have some awesome conversations to make new friends, only to realize...nobody is talking. At all. At least not to your face. It's a digital wasteland. All other eyes glued to a screen. Scrolling endlessly hoping to find a replacement for the human connection you're trying to offer. Conversation and communication as you know it screeches to a halt, and is replaced with social connection on Snapchat. This is the reality for Gen Z today.
In this engaging episode, Sean Killingsworth (founder of the Reconnect Movement) and Zoe dive into the challenges and solutions of our digitally saturated age, how Sean counters today's screen-time epidemic, even discussing his personal switch to a flip phone. Together, they explore the power and nuances of real-world conversations, the frustrations, and the hope for a better future. Join us to learn more about fostering genuine connections in today's digital era.
Follow The Reconnect Movement on Instagram!
Check out the Reconnect Podcast HERE
https://thereconnectmovement.com/
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
Do you get overwhelmed and feel that you nearly have social anxiety in group settings? ME TOO. I had so much trouble with it that I had to create a system and technique to help me navigate building relationships in a group setting. Now, I am able to thrive, and make friends and build great relationships while being in a crowd, and in this episode, I'm showing you how you can too!
Special thank you to this episode's sponsor: The Party Q's App, the FREE app that offers a HUGE variety of thought-provoking and conversation-starting questions to break the ice and get the party going. Party Q's is the ultimate wingman for your social life. Available on the App Store and Google Play, as well as a web version for you to play right now! Download Party Qs today - You will love it!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
"Any day now...someone is going to figure it out. They'll discover I'm not who they thought I was. I'm a total fraud." This is your imposter syndrome talking, and you're certainly not alone. In this episode, we are talking with National Best-Selling Author & Speaker Christy Wright on how to demolish Imposter Syndrome so that it no longer holds back, so that you can do the dang thing (whatever said "thing" is for you). We then deep dive into how to launch a business post-covid, and how doing it scared is the absolute best thing you can do! You will feel encouraged and energize to take action after this episode!
To learn more about Christy's speaking courses, and get the free downloadable resource, click HERE.
Check out her podcast HERE.
Follow Christy on IG and thank her for being on the show!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
High school is NO JOKE. If you are in or about to enter high school this year, this video is for YOU. (And if not, please share this with a high schooler!) This is a virtual letter to high school me (sharing EVERYTHING I wish I knew, or had been told in high school). Why? Because, quite frankly you're worth it. And I'm so proud of how far you've already come.
You can hear my full bullying story here.
Feel awkward when meeting new people? This episode will help!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
Crowdsourced from over 22 million people, we are discussing some really profound life tips of sort. The sooner we learn and apply these pieces of relationship advice in our own lives, the richer and deeper we will find all of our relationships to be!
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
You may find yourself in this exact situation right now. Feeling ignored, abandoned, forgotten, and more. You're frustrated because you didn't do anything wrong, and want to know why its happening and what you can do next. In this episode, we cover what science actually reveals about this phenomena, as well as action steps you can take to preserve your friendship, and not let this current feeling have the final word.
Support the show
Want to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email [email protected] (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!
Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!
From the publisher's feed
Leveled Up Friendships is a show for adults who want richer, more meaningful friendships — but sense that something about their relationships isn’t quite working the way they…
Maybe conversations feel surface-level. Maybe you’re always the one reaching out. Maybe a friendship feels tense, draining, or confusing and you’re not sure why. Or maybe you simply want friendships that are deeper, more honest, and more supportive than the ones you currently have.
On this show, host Zoe Asher explores the real dynamics behind adult friendships — the unspoken expectations, awkward conversations, misunderstandings, emotional blind spots, and growth moments that shape our relationships.
Through honest reflection, practical questions, and real-life examples, Zoe helps listeners become more self-aware and intentional in how they show up as a friend. Because the fastest way to improve your friendships isn’t trying to change everyone around you — it’s learning how to level up the kind of friend you are.
Episodes explore topics like navigating difficult conversations, repairing strained friendships, recognizing one-sided dynamics, reconnecting with old friends, setting healthy expectations, and building friendships that can handle honesty and growth.
If you’ve ever wondered:
-Why do some friendships fade while others grow stronger?
-Why do certain relationship patterns keep repeating?
-How do you build friendships that actually last?
You’re in the right place.
Because great friendships don’t happen accidentally. They level up when we do.
www.accidentallyintentional.com . To contact the podcast and/or request a booking for Zoe to be on your show or speak at your event, please email: [email protected]