According to a narcissist you have to earn their love, their love language is to buy gifts. You can replace gifts, but you can’t replace this person. Their love is fake and requires you to follow their rules or they will discard you. You never once belonged to them or existed. It’s called hard life, in which the body gets stuck in flight or fight mode and eventually gets stuck. Once the individual learns to leave, the body will go into shock, but eventually will learn to rewire itself for the better good of the individual.

I moved on with my life, I worked on myself. I am getting my bachelors degree. I made something of myself, I will never let you take credit for my success. That if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be where I am. You did give me the skills to succeed, but I went out on my own to create my own success. Controlling everything and thinking you did everything, when you did only what was required are two different things. I found a way out, and I learned how to heal. I did what was best for myself and no one can take that away from me.

No matter what this person said, never once could you take them for their word. That’s why there was no contact or relationship. This person would be nice to everyone around them, but switch like a light switch. This person didn’t want anyone around them to know how awfully they could be, or the actual truth of what was going on. Fear was their best friend and has always been their best friend. Never trust one word from this person.

They will always tell you, you should be over it by now. It was the past, what is wrong with you? You are only doing this for sympathy or attention or that never happens. I don’t remember that happening that way. A narcissist will have a select memory, to remember any wrongdoing they did. Was it easier for you to leave us in your past, so you could find someone new? You could destroy someone else's life or you would say I am going to adopt someone else to replace you. It’s the same old game, it never gets old to them, but it gets old to you.

Finding the strength to let go, to be my own. To finally let go of what has been hurting me all this time. It took me a long time to get out of this dark hole. My faith was restored, I thought clearly. Never again would I put myself through all of that hell. I did have trust issues. Dealing with trauma you will learn to accept it and be okay with it, but it will go away. The trauma will always come in waves, even if you are completely healed, it still comes back.

The memories are like a kaleidoscope coming back in moments where everything seems fine. Once that person turns their back on you, they will go on to find another supply. The cycle will start all over again. They will never admit they did wrong, they aren’t the problem. They will always blame everyone else. Is that how narcissists work? All you will ever remember is them turning their back towards you and walking away.

Some people need to put themselves in other people’s shoes for once. To understand how they live and why their life is the way that it is. Never judge a book by its cover because you never know what is going on behind closed doors. I know all of us get caught up in life and do make assumptions, but you really never know what they are facing. What battles they have fought with no one knowing, why they still choose to be happy and positive. They know life can bring them lemons and they chose to make lemonade.

I am not afraid to be petty or put you in your place. When I am petty I do it in the most respectful way, which a lot of people think doesn't exist but it does. I choose to prove a point and show how their actions do have consequences. You can’t tell someone to not be petty, when you were doing it too. If you don’t like being put in your place, maybe you should think about the consequences next time

Having three illnesses with no cure, if you never had three chronic conditions then shut it. You don’t know what you are talking about or you will never experience this. Stop acting like you have all the experience or know everything, you want to know why many people go quiet. It’s because people who are arrogant and claim to know everything and how everything should be and also put labels on everything. No wonder why there have been reports or claims made against you. Some people have no heart or only care about themselves. Past me is knowing they will try to play every game or find every way to be against you. Don’t be afraid to report them, or their company for treating you unfairly, making up lies or removing you from the service. Making up lies of why they canceled on you and put the blame on you. It’s okay to bring the weight on them. They brought this on themselves and now they will feel the heat.

Knowing you have always been on your own and done everything on your own. There was never a tug of war. Knowing you can make it, but also knowing that no one will ever understand your situation. Plus with so many things added to your plate and going through so much. You feel alone and you start to feel this tug of war that is pulling at your body. You feel the weight, the stress but you fake being okay or happy because once they know you’re not okay. You get labeled as everything in your head or you look okay. Chronic illnesses and Mental illnesses are real. Many people would rather feel alone, instead of asking for help or getting treatment. Dealing with nonsense gets tiring after a while to the point where you don’t want to fight anymore