Life Check Yourself

Marni welcomes Silvia Quintella in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to clear your path of energy you’ve been holding onto from previous experiences to begin embracing your authentic self. Silvia is an entrepreneur and a certified transformational life coach who has found her passion in energy healing and helping others. She’s guided many women in their journey towards finding their authentic selves and following their intuition.

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Find safety in your authenticity

 - How to get to the root cause

 - Disconnect from that ex

Release That Energy…it’s Holding you Back [06:03]

Coming out of a relationship or a divorce can leave us feeling emotionally imbalanced and energetically depleted. As women move towards middle age, it is particularly questions like, “Will I fall in love again?”, “Am I lovable enough?” that start plaguing them. 

However, it’s vital to release the energetic force that they’ve carried during and as a result of that former relationship, or in some cases, from all those former relationships. 

Find a balance between body, mind, and soul. It’s not just what my mind wants but what my soul wants. 

Give the Order [22:50]

To talk to your spiritual team, you don’t need to meditate or do a particular ritual. Just close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and say, ‘I know what I’m going through and I deserve better. You know I deserve better, so take the lead.’ 

And that order rewires your brain. 

You touch your heart to silence  the ego mind. 

Trust Yourself [29:02]

Learn to develop trust in yourself. Usually, we have trust issues because the inner child has something that is missing. We need to acknowledge that little girl’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We need to explore where they stem from and why. 

Next is identifying where we feel it in our body. 

Imagine that thing is being removed from every single cell in your body. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

 - Silvia’s Website

Marni welcomes Frank E Legette III in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the most common mistakes women make when it comes to relationships and how to improve said relationships, or rather how to know if it’s time to call it quits. Frank is a life coach for women, a pastor and author of the book, The Art of Womanhood. He’s been providing guidance for single women who are looking for a loving relationship for years and empowering them to leave toxic relationships and find their happiness. 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Don’t chase him 

 - How to keep the power

 - What is he working for? 

Don’t Put him in the Driver’s Seat [15:03]

Using a metaphor, Frank explains that when in a car ride, it is the driver that determines the speed and the direction of the journey. Similarly, in a relationship, it is the driver that is the pursued and the passenger that is the pursuer. Following that logic, one of the main mistakes women make is that they put the man in the driver seat of the relationship before he has earned the right to occupy that space. When the man is in the driver’s seat, he is given the power to determine the direction of the relationship. 

She doesn’t know if he’s capable of loving her the way she wants to be loved. And all of a sudden, he’s in the driver’s seat. He determines how quickly this relationship goes..

Broken Heart Syndrome [24:25]

Can a broken heart lead to health complications? Frank elaborates that it has been found that having broken spirit, or rather being unhappy can lead to a series of medical complications, especially among women. And for many women, this source of unhappiness can stem from a toxic relationship. When a woman is unhappy or stressed, two hormones are secreted: adrenaline and cortisol. And these can lead to health complications. 

It affects more women than it does men because they refuse not to be loved by the man that they pledged their loyalty and fealty too. And it affects their happiness. 

Build a Solid Foundation [30:06]

Women assume that men know how they want to be treated and how they want to be loved. However, it is the woman herself who is the only one that knows how she wants to be loved and treated – men don’t know, regardless of how many relationships they’ve been in. 

When you start a new relationship, you’re building a foundation. And if you make it to the altar, on the wedding day, you don’t get a new foundation. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

 - Frank’s Website

Marni welcomes Aaron Johnson to the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss the importance of feeling your feels. The duo delves into the ways in which to hold that space for someone who might not have been socialized into expressing themselves in a healthy manner. Aaron is the co-founder of Holistic Resistance and Grief to Action where he works to help facilitate the healing process for men, particularly within BIPOC communities. How does one heal trauma and process it in a healthy way? And where do we start? 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Why crying is a necessary release

 - What is tender platonic touching?

 - How to feel your feels

Platonic Touching [08:40]

In the exceedingly masculine culture that is America, many men suffer from what Aaron has termed being “chronically under-touched.” What that means is that they did not have enough tender platonic touching growing up. And this manifests in a certain way in one’s adult life. 

Tenderness for men, with men, lands in our body initially as violence. It feels like violence, and violence feels like normal. We have to heal that trauma. 

Let Him Build Creativity [13:15]

When men aren’t coming from a chronically under-touched state, they are able to be more present within a relationship. But how does one nurture that side of themselves? One of the ways is through creativity. 

Now, that does not mean that as women, we need to do this for our partners but rather it means we need to be supportive of them while allowing them to do it on their own. This is a part of their growth. 

It’s so important to practice being a good witness but not going in and rescuing right away.

Release and Repair [19:20]

Releasing and repairing are cornerstones of healing. Somatic experiences aid in the release necessary for healing trauma. Music is a somatic discharge experience. While it has historically been used as a means for healing, particularly within POC communities, music has recently become part of mainstream mental health toolkit. 

And for good reason, it is a method that is inspiring and profound. 

We don’t have a life design in America to actually take somatic healing in its full depth; we’re taking sip of it but we don’t actually have a life design. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

 - Aaron Johnson’s Website: https://www.cutproject.org/

 - Aaron Johnson’s Instagram

Marni welcomes Mick Heyman to the Life Check Studio where they discuss sound money management. The duo delves into how to manage your finances while staying mellow. Mick is the CFA and founder of Heyman Investments and has been working in wealth investments for over 40 years. A lot of people struggle when it comes to growing and organizing their wealth which inevitably leads to stress. But what are actually the best practices? And where does one start? More importantly how do we deal with our finances while still retaining our chill? 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - How to stay mellow

 - Don’t completely listen to the headlines

 - Look back to understand

Examine Your Own Emotions [12:06]

Every single person is unique. What one person can handle; another might not be able to. So, when making certain financial decisions, look at your own emotions and assess what risks you are able to take. It’s equally important to bear in mind that regardless of how much you prepare, surprises will occur. And when they do, you need to have strong hands. 

Nobody should have more stock than their sleeping level. 

Pay Yourself First [22:40]

Paying yourself first means that wherever that check is coming from, it’s vital to first start by putting a little something away. And that practice eventually becomes a habit that you take with you. 

Think of it as money buckets. You put money into those depending on what you want to grow and what you’re okay with risking. For example, one bucket could be for your dream house while the other could be for house maintenance and so on. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way. 

Knowing what you own can really help you.

Money, Money, Money [29:02]

It’s important to be patient and to acknowledge that there will be times where you won’t necessarily be hitting your target. There are certain aspects you can control and others that you can’t. The market is one of the things, for example, that you can’t control, and that’s something you need to accept. 

In the end, look at what the long-term can do for you, and you’ll relax. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

 - Get Mick’s Book “Mellow Your Money

In this new series of Life Check Yourself, Marni divulges the tips and tricks for professional, successful women to optimize the big work, big life balance. In this episode, the life coach discusses what to do when you feel stuck, whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or in a personal project. Many women feel frustrated when they find themselves unable to achieve a certain goal, and the advice given to them is to work harder. But what if that is not the right advice? In this episode Marni delves into why strategy isn’t the be all and end all of achieving your dreams. It is more about mastering your inner game. 

Takeaways from this episode:

- Why overworking yourself is not the answer

- Stop Trusting the external

- Have you been asking yourself the wrong questions?

Why Aren’t the Results Matching Your Intentions? [00:20]

On a professional, as well as a personal level, many women end up feeling frustrated after having put in so much effort and so much of themselves into a certain goal that didn’t yield the results they were expecting. What usually ends up happening is they automatically decide to work harder, and put in twice as much effort. But sometimes working too hard might actually be moving them further away from the answers they need to succeed. 

Women, especially, have this built-in wiring and programming that the more that we do (for other people), the more that we shine, the more that we show how great we are, the more we perfect, the more we deliver then we will get noticed for that. 

Look in the Mirror [ 07:40]

When things don’t go your way, remove your focus from the external and look inwards. In order to achieve your dreams, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Rather than focus on strategy, look internally for the answers as to why you are stuck in a certain situation.  

Ask yourself the questions that matter instead of diminishing yourself, and laying blame on yourself. Because what doesn’t move you closer to the answers you need to succeed, moves you further away. 

What is it that I am pretending not to know in order for me to have the problem I think I have? 

Are You Aligned With Your Goals? [12:30]

To succeed, you need to be emotionally-connected to what you are doing, whatever that is. Look at your heartset and your mindset because things fall into place when your authentic self is in alignment with your goals. 

There is a difference between what you should do and what you want to do. It’s a trap that a lot of people fall into as they scramble to do what they think is expected of them. However, it is more important for you to do what resonates with you on an internal level. 

There are shoulds that are pre-programmed in that are distracting them. They’re working on these things that they think they should do, rather than the things that are really connected to their heartset. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

Marni welcomes Kim DeYoung in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss the fear that comes with making choices. The duo delve into the ways with which to overcome that indecision that paralyzes a lot of men and women when faced with an important decision. Kim is an entrepreneur, choice coach, and the author of The Book of Choice. She has had over two decades of experience in helping entrepreneurs and individuals make meaningful choices that help them bring their ideas and dreams to life. 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Let go of fear

 - A lot of it is about consciousness 

 - What is the choice mapping process?

You Control All Your Choices [06:55]

Everybody has to make choices. It's unavoidable, and we’re making thousands of them a day whether we realize it or not. It is important to realize that you have agency and control over your choices. Even when it is something that is out of your control, your agency lies in how you choose to react to it. The key is to find where in that choice you actually have control. 

Many of us have been conditioned into thinking that we can’t make a choice due to past experiences among other things. Release that limiting belief. 

We sit in a story about who we were, how we were labeled. All of those stories, if we don’t consciously work to get rid of them or remarry them, affect how we show up and how we make choices. 

The Choice Mapping System [11:28]

It is important to capture the important internal dialogue for yourself. In noting down your choices and keeping track of them, you are able to learn and grow. 

In every choice, whether a positive or negative outcome, there is something to be learned. It is always unfolding for you even when sometimes it doesn’t feel good. 

For better or for worse, all the choices we make are unlocking a treasure trove. 

A Leap of Faith [17:56]

It is almost like a tug war where on the one hand your fear is holding you back but on the other hand what is possible is pulling you into the future. But pushing forward requires a sense of awareness, consciousness and alertness. It starts by doing the work on yourself and showing up for yourself. 

Step into what’s possible to let go of the fear of what’s there. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Follow us on Instagram @marnibattista_

 - Kim DeYoung's book: The Book of Choice

 - Kim DeYoung’s FREE 5 Questions to Ask Before Making a Choice

Marni welcomes Arielle Ford in the Life Check Yourself studio where they discuss love, betrayal, revenge and healing. Arielle Ford is a celebrated relationship and love expert; she has written over ten non-fiction books. For her most recent novel, The Love Thief, which is fiction, the author draws from real-life experiences to breathe life into her characters who find themselves in situations that mimic real life. The duo discusses why women fall for certain types of men and how these men get into their heads. How do these smart women end up getting hurt despite knowing better? What does it mean to feel the sting of betrayal? Most people have felt it but not everyone has drawn a lesson out of it. Sometimes it takes a few betrayals to get closer to differentiating between what is love and what isn’t. There is light at the end of the tunnel and that light will help guide you to the right one if you give yourself the chance. 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Don’t Overlook the Red Flags

 - Falling in love is like being on drugs 

 - How to come out the other side

 - Don’t beat yourself up; learn

 - Is love all you need?

 - Love is a choice

Betrayal is Universal [10:40]

We’ve all done silly things in the name of love. And many of us have beaten ourselves up over not knowing better. But why is it that when someone shows who they are, we don’t believe them?

We’ve all either dated or heard of the toxic narcissist type. He’s smooth, he gets into your head, and he says and does all the right things…at first. What this type does though is target smart, beautiful and successful women. On the one hand, it could be taken as a compliment that he chose you – but regardless, run for the hills. And in the case where you don’t, here’s a little breakdown of that type. 

How does he manage to get into our heads? Well, firstly this type of man doesn’t go for the average woman. He goes after the one that is constantly trying to make something of herself; the one who is independent and driven; and the one who gets satisfaction from her career. She is also the one that might crave a certain kind of love, the one who wants a partner who’ll whisper all the things she wants to hear into her ear, the one who longs for a partner who sees her, and the one who wants to be wined and dined. 

And that’s exactly how he gets in the door. He plays the role of prince charming, and for a while, he does it well. But in the back of our head, we know that it feels too good to be true. But, by the time we’ve realized that it is in fact too good to be true, we’re already hooked. 

Getting over heartbreak is harder than recovering from a cocaine addiction. It’s because of brain chemistry. And I like to call the state of being in love, the socially acceptable form of insanity. 

When a person falls in love, their brain is on drugs; it’s on oxytocin, adrenaline and dopamine – all the feel-good hormones. And the person keeps craving more, just like an addict does. When that love is taken away from the person, they have no choice and end up going through a form of withdrawal. And that tends to happen with the toxic narcissist or most red-flag types. 

That being said though, there is healing on the other side. And what’s more is that those who go through these kinds of betrayals are now armed with a tool: they can now tell the difference between what is love and what actually isn’t. 

Did the Beatles Get it Wrong? [16:00]

All you need is love….but is it though?

This is the mantra of the new-agers. Growing up, we’ve been told that love is letting go of fear; that if you love someone, everything else falls into place. We’ve been exposed to this notion over and over again through the films, the songs, and the books we’ve consumed. But how true is it? Does love conquer all?

In a nutshell, love is not enough. We could love someone who is actually not a suitable partner for us. A lot of us have been through this where we’ve spent so much time in a relationship trying to fix the person or the situation, because we kept telling ourselves that we love them and that that’s all we need. And that it’s worth it. Even when we had an inkling that they may not actually be the one for us. 

And yet we persisted, because we’ve been socialized into believing that love means everything and it solves everything. 

However, the reality of it is that if we want to have a lasting, long-term relationship, then we need to be with someone we’re compatible with, someone we have a connection with, and who we have strong communication with. And more importantly, someone who shares our vision of the future. 

How both partners envision their shared future is what they will both be working towards and building on. So, only having love without any of these other factors that ensure a successful relationship isn’t necessarily a good idea. Partners in a relationship need to be aligned on their vision in order for it to last and be healthy. 

All You Need is Love is this myth that keeps women in relationships that aren’t good for them. 

It’s a harsh truth. But in reality, when someone’s been in a long relationship, there will be days when they can’t stand their partner, where they almost hate them. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love them. Most people haven’t completely grasped what love means. They think love is a feeling. 

Love is a behavior. It’s a choice, it’s a decision, it’s an action, and it’s a way of being. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*

 - Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life?  Book A Call With Us

 - Get Your Copy of Arielle Ford’s New Book The Love Thief

Marni welcomes Kalyn Romaine in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss achieving innovative results while still maintaining integrity and compassion. Kalyn is an entrepreneur and an organizational psychologist who empowers individuals to reach their dream careers. The duo talks about what it means to trust your intuition and follow the breadcrumbs to achieve your dream goals. 

Takeaways from this episode:

• Don’t personalize it 

• Distractions hinder you

• What is nice nasty?

Resilience is Key [11:31]

Resilience is needed to build courage and to hear your intuition. The experience of getting to where you need to be will have ups and downs. But not giving up is key. Most people don’t realize that resilience is necessary. It is what gets you to the very end; it’s what helps you build the strength you need. 

Resilience is allowing something to get beat up so that it can be stronger and grow. 

Finding Your Identity [19:02]

Most women, and especially black women, describe their business as a side hustle. Men, however, do not describe it the same. Finding yourself, particularly as a woman, and owning it puts a shift in the way you act. If you have started a business and you start calling yourself a founder, which is what you are, you start having more accountability. 

It made me think of it as a real company and not just something I’m doing. 

Stand in Your Glory [25:20]

Women tend to shy away from taking the credit they deserve. But we need to stand in our glory. When we shy away from it, it diminishes. It inadvertently makes people respect us less. Don’t make yourself small and take the credit you deserve. 

The response was totally different. When you diminish who you are, people see you as common

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*

 - Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life?  Book A Call With Us

 - Kalyn Romaine’s Website

Marni welcomes Jamie Cannon in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to recognize a narcissistic personality, what the tell-tale signs of a murky relationship are and how to get out of it. Jamie is a writer who focuses on trauma, anxiety and grief. She’s worked on empowering women particularly victims of abuse and domestic violence survivors. 

Takeaways from this episode:

 - Trust your instincts

 - Know the signs

 - How to recognize love bombing

Recognizing the Signs [04:02]

There is this misconception that associates being stuck in an abusive relationship with a lack of education. However, it can happen to anyone. 

A lot of educated women fall either for narcissists or with personalities that have narcissistic tendencies. In the beginning of a relationship, the person they are attracted to either hides these tendencies or uses very sophisticated manipulation techniques. 

Moreover, sometimes when a woman is adamant on what she wants, which is to settle down and build a future, it’s easy to overlook those subtle warning signs. 

Women beat themselves thinking I should’ve seen it coming but really, should you have seen it coming?

Power and Control [07:20]

The beginning of a relationship blurs a lot of the way we perceive things. It is the phase where everything is exciting and rushed, which means that sometimes, we end up ignoring our intuition. Trust your instinct rather than making excuses for the person’s behavior. Many women tend to ignore their intuition because they have been taught to believe that they are oversensitive or that they read too much into things. 

Narcissists, as we say, there’s no empathy there. So, their feelings are really the only feelings that matter. 

Where Do We Find Their Value? [14:04]

A lot of women find their value externally. Learning how to find that value from an internal source is important. That is what gives you the freedom to walk away. Whereas somebody who gets their value externally, will be more inclined to stay and frame the situation as a life lesson. 

At what point do we stop and say, hold on I know what I need to work on already. This guy does not know what I need to work on. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*

 - Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life?  Book A Call With Us

 - Jamie Cannon’s Book

 - Jamie Cannon’s Blog

Marni welcomes Dr. Sarah Hill in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss a myriad of topics including how hormones affect your identity and how you can stay sexy regardless of age. Dr. Sarah is an award-winning research psychologist and professor with an expertise in women, health, and sexual psychology. She was also featured in the Netflix documentary, The Principles of Pleasure and is a consultant for the dating site, Cougar Life.

Takeaways from this episode:

 - How do your hormones affect your identity?

 - Inner beauty is sexy

 - Is taking hormones bad for you?

It’s not you, it’s your hormones [01:50]

Hormones not only affect our bodies, but our psyche as well. The hormonal transitions that women go through, which span from puberty to menopause and everything in between, have a cascading effect on their entire body including how they experience the world, and the ways in which they think and feel. Hormones can also cause an identity crisis because they are a part of what our brain uses to create the experience of being the person that we are. 

You are your hormones. They aren’t just something that happens to you. They are a part of who you are. 

Aging is the new 20s [08:58]

Culturally, there has always been this belief that ties women’s sexiness and attractiveness to youth. But these stereotypes are shifting as women are gaining more financial independence and embracing themselves at whatever age. As women gain more resources independently, and as a consequence more power over themselves, they become more attractive to men. 

For a very long time, we were dependent on men. And what we’re starting to see [now] is that we have women who have access to their own financial resources and good jobs – and that feels powerful. 

Bringing Sexy Back [14:30]

Beauty is only skin-deep…or so the old adage goes. And it turns out, it’s true, to an extent. Beauty comes from having value and feeling valuable. So, it’s important for women to find out, when they’re younger, what is it that they contribute and what is it that brings them value. Whether you’re a career woman or a stay-at-home parent, find out what it is that makes you come alive. People are at their most beautiful when they come alive. And that is something that lasts forever, regardless of age. 

Make a Connection:

 - 3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

 - Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*

 - Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life?  Book A Call With Us

 - Dr. Sarah Hill’s Website