Life is Trash

Did you see that Life Is Trash podcast only went and done a bloody sex episode? Join Lawrence, Johnny, Rach and Eddy once more as they blindly fumble around with the various orifices of Moon Cursed in the sexiest chapter to date. Yes, I know it's a low bar. 

Also, we have a facebook now - it only took a year. Give us a cheeky little like at Facebook.com/TrashLifePodcast. Go on. You know you want to.

Just how sexy can dinosaur erotica realistically get?

How absolutely effing tremendous of a sex man is Liam "sex man" Grant?

Why do we so often regret the things we thought we wanted?

Answers! Get your piping hot answers here!

Two episodes released in the same week, aren't you "lot" "lucky"? Join Lawrence, Johnny, Rach and Eddy once more as they continue to thrust wildly into chapter 11 of Moon Cursed, a book, whose novelty has long since lost it's shimmer, for almost everyone involved.

Why did Lori Handeland think an entire chapter with the main character talking to a computer screen would be at all compelling?

Why she be flyin' doe?

How does Johnny not know what a Meerkat is?

Climb aboard the good ship who-gives-a-fuck and find out, why not?!

The Drumnadrochit young team (Lawrence, Eddy, Rach, Johnny and their enigmatic leader; Wee Jambo) are back, taking a break from tagging bus shelters and chibbing bams to explore the tenth chapter in 'book-we-all-wish-was-100-pages-shorter', Moon Cursed. Why not check a listen and see what absolute, intolerable dross awaits inside!

Who conked Kris on the noggin?

Will Johnny ever let Eddy and Lawrence just do a very funny bit about Thatcherism without shouting all over it?

How the fuck did Alan Mac ever get a job as a policeman? 

Like, for real - the he is a terrible detective. Who employed this man?

Lawrence, Rach, Eddy and Johnny - back from the dead - continue their quest to make themselves as deeply and irreversibly unhappy as they can by reading chapter nine of grotty little dino-bonk novel, Moon Cursed; doing for literature what salt does to a slug.

Will anything actually happen in this chapter?

Will there finally be some hot, hot, incredibly hot dino action?

What on God's earth has happened to Eddy and Lawrence?

Listen on to find out the answers to these questions you didn't and wouldn't ask, and more!

Lawrence, Rach and Eddy (and Johnny, in spirit – he's not dead, just busy) soldier bravely onwards into the aggressively untitillating chapter eight of rumpy-pumpy-dinosaur-razz-trash, Moon Cursed; the worst thing to happen to literature since William Shakespeare was trampled to death by hippos.

Did Lawrence record this episode in a shed?

Will Johnny ever find his perfect dog?

Do you like salmon?

Listen on to find out the answers to these questions you didn't and wouldn't ask, and more!

Righteous dreads, Lawrence Tucker and Johnny Owens, joined once again by badgyal, Rach Leonard and rasclaat bumba, Eddy MacKenzie, have somehow found the energy to return for the seventh time to the long-since-dried well of smut that is Moon Cursed; part erotic novel, part instructional manual on how to make love to a cloaca, all dross.

What will happen to our intrepid hero Kirsten Daniels in this chapter?

Seriously, what's going to happen?

...Are you fucking kidding me?

...I know I haven't made it sound very good, but listen anyway. We'll have fun, you'll see.

Bad Boys 4 Life, Johnny and Lawrence return once more, flanked by incredibly long-suffering regular contributors Eddy MacKenzie and Rach Leonard to the tainted font that is chapter six of New York Times' Best Selling author Lori Handeland's magnum opus, Moon Cursed; a sexy pamphlet about boning an ancient lake monster. May God help us all...

Will there finally be some ruddy rumpy pumpy in this so called razz book?

What does the Loch Ness monster's mouth taste of?

Will anyone else interfere with a corpse in this chapter?

Find out these answers and more in the next thrilling instalment of...Life is Trash!

Breaking from the time-honoured tradition of reviewing Nessie based erotica, Johnny, Lawrence and brand new guest and shiny man, James McLuskey turn their attention to Bobcat Goldthwait's seminal 1988 masterpiece, 'Hot to Trot', a film about a talking horse who plays the stock market and no, it's not any better than it sounds. Substantially worse if anything.

Will the Don the Horse win big on the NASDAQ?

What even is a FTSE?

Will a light-hearted comedic romp about a talking animals feature a genuinely shocking and frankly unacceptable quantity AND quality of homophobic and racialist language?

Listen to this ruddy episode to get all these answers and more...straight from the horses mouth!

Johnny and Lawrence are back once again with their ill-behaviour, along with fourteen time annual world corn shucking champion Rach Leonard and man with no notable achievements, Eddy MacKenzie to return to chapter five in the font of eternal sexual disappointment that is Moon Cursed; an erotic creature novel about Nessie and honestly? surprisingly decent kindling. 

Will we find out who was murdered on the banks of Loch Ness?

Will a mysterious, foreign character who speaks exclusively in exposition show up from absolutely fucking nowhere?

Will Lawrence snap into a Slim-Jim?

Why not check a look and see? The answers may surprise you... ooh yeeah.

Join your hosts, Lawrence and Johnny, flanked by their stalwart pioneers of smut - real life woman, Rach Leonard and imaginary man, Eddy MacKenzie - as they probe the quivering, velvetine mound of paranormal creature erotica that is the fourth chapter of Moon Cursed. 

Will there be a withering amount of discussion on the subject of Nessie's non-sexual anatomy?

Will literally anything else happen in the chapter?

Will there be clams and whatnot?

Why not check a look at the least copyright friendly podcast on the internet and find out?! 

The reasons are innumerable. Do it anyway, though.