Life Mastery Lounge Podcast

Hi Sparkly friend! Today I’m coming to you from the South of France, Montpellier to be exact, it’s beautiful and we are just off the golf course… dreamy! Great to take long walks and it’s sunny so, all is well!

I know Thanksgiving has not yet arrived but I can't resist!

I'm a Christmas person. There, I said it! You have probably figured this out already and I wasn't even planning to write a post about my love for the Holiday Season but yesterday my son sent me a video of 4 years ago, where I'm singing, learning the lyrics to "Baby it's cold outside" by Idina Menzel and Michael Bubblé. That just got me on the memory lane track! I had already set up my "Winter" tree, because it's not a Christmas tree until you decorate it!, you can see it in the background of the video... so that got me longing even more for Christmas. Family time and hot chocolate and gift wrapping and... all things!

It also got me on the memory lane track to where we were, financially speaking! At the time we were almost done paying our debt, we had no money to splurge on gifts but it was also the year that a lot changed for us. We started giving more than ever, even before our financial debacle. I started believing that there must be something more than that! That being where I was. My mindset had begun to shift and I knew I was meant to do/be more. And that brings me back to today. What has changed since that day 4 years ago? Well, let's see!

My hair colour has changed... I'm blonder everyday that passes! I've always been partial to dark hair. Love it, but also, I could just buy some cheap dark colour shampoo and have no more grey hair! Of course I didn't like buying cheap shampoo! But it was all I could afford and I would not be seen dead with grey hair! Choices. My house had hand-down furniture and all new clothes were gifted.

Today, I go to the hairdresser and I have blond highlights that make me feel a million bucks (they almost cost as much!). My house is starting to feel like I live there again. I get to slowly but excitingly decorate it the way I want. I get to hang my new collection of Christmas ornaments that I've started since travelling to the Netherlands for a Concert or from Belgium, even Australia where I went for my High School Reunion or London where I went this year to meet my new amazing best friends and GirlSquad! I get to buy new clothes and shoes but mostly bags! I get to make a list to send Santa and I actually know I have a shot at getting a gift I asked for.

It may not seem a lot, but to me, it's changed my life! And all of that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me getting out of my way and working on my mindset around money as well as creating a plan for my finances. It's not been a smooth sail but it certainly has made a difference. I kept procrastinating and telling myself I could never do it! But the fact is I did and it all started with, at the end of "I could never do it" I added "but what if I could?". Nothing extremely out there, just the simple realisation that I could actually, maybe, perhaps do it and it would work!

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Today I thought I’d talk about spending! I know what you are thinking, “for someone who is always talking about budgeting and getting out of debt she sure talks a lot about spending!”

Well, you are not wrong! I have been very open about how much I LOVE spending money and also how that love for spending got me into financial trouble! So, if I’m constantly talking about spending, I hope you are hearing the shoulds and shouldn’ts!

I hope it’s clear to you, how much this is a passionate subject and how much I hope you get from my own experiences so that you don’t have to go through them yourself, or at least you recognise the “what not to do” early on in your journey and take a step in the right direction!

I’ve already told you that the Holiday Season, Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I also told you that more than receiving I love giving gifts to the people in my life!

What I might not have told you is this, I sometimes (well, most times) overspend when buying gifts because I want to show people that I love them so much, just kidding, it’s because I want people to be impressed by my gifts. There I said it. I have such a need for people to like me that I will do anything, even get myself into debt, so that people will like me even if it’s because of the gifts I give.

How messed up is that? Well, I am saying it in the present but the truth is, I gave up this habit a few years ago, right about the time when I didn’t have time to eat let alone buy gifts!

The other day, I was writing my list and checking it twice, of course!...

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This year mental health has been on everyone’s mind. No joke here, this is a very serious and heartfelt subject to me.

I believe it took a worldwide pandemic to get Mental Health the attention it deserves. Somehow, when everyone all over the world is concerned, issues take on a new proportion.

My interest in Mental Health began when I got out of debt and started to dig a little deeper to see (and stop beating myself up) if there had been anything during those struggling times that I could’ve done differently. FYI, I believe there weren’t, well, apart from getting into debt in the first place. But even that, I believe I needed to live that experience because I truly believe it’s my calling to help those that might find themselves in that same situation. I truly believe that if I hadn’t been through it, my judgemental self would spill all over everything I would do in life!

I’m not excusing myself and saying that I only got into debt because of mental problems, as I've battled depression ever since I can remember, but I am saying that debt and mental health issues go hand in hand. Remember this: mental health issues can cause severe debt and severe debt can cause health problems.

I’m also not saying that all debts are bad, I’m saying bad debts are bad. I’ve been very forward about my views and my struggles with all debts. I can say that from a logical viewpoint but emotionally, I’m still struggling with it. If you’ve been here for sometime, you know my reasons.

Now, what can you do when you are struggling with either one and then the other one creeps up? (hope that made sense!) Well let’s start with “You are battling some Mental Health issues, you are feeling depressed and sad and you have no desire to go out. First, PLEASE SEE A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, this is not the blues and you’ll snap out of it! Maybe you will but chances are you won’t, so talk to someone, tell them exactly how you are feeling and what your struggles are. But, chances are you don’t speak to that health professional straight away because you feel they won’t take you seriously. Instead you decide to go on amazon or some similar site and buy that cute sweater and those comfy yoga pants! Not that you are going to take up yoga but because you can see yourself curled up on the couch watching Hallmark Christmas movies or bad romance ones! (guilty and guilty!)

You then realise that you are putting it on your credit card that already has a balance because, let’s face it, life’s been tough and you’ve been doing what you can. You feel that now is your time, you already owe all that money on that card so what’s a few thousand more?! Especially if all you can think about when you get out of bed in the morning is to get back in it at the end of your work day. Talking about work, maybe you can put in some sick days and just stay in bed all day… that sounds more and more enticing as you drag yourself out of bed…”

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I’ve had some friends reach out and I’ve seen some comments about my view on credit cards and I want to set the record straight.

Now, you’ve all heard or seen my posts on social media about how I don’t use credit cards and tell everyone who will listen or read not to use them.

The reason I don’t use credit cards is because I don’t trust myself with them! There I said it! Many years ago I got into a lot of trouble because of credit cards! What I mean is, because I was not good at managing my finances and therefore I got into trouble. The credit cards were just the way I used to really show myself and whoever else was watching, that I was a diva and I allowed myself every little whim and every thing I thought I deserved!

I could have done that with a personal loan, or many, but it was with credit cards and since then I do not trust myself to be around them!

It took me a little while to hit rock bottom in debt but it took me a long while to get out of the debt and the shame. So there’s no way I will ever put myself in that situation again. Would I actually do the same thing? Probably not but I’d rather not find out.

It was during that very proving journey that I found myself and that I really got to know myself, the good the bad and the ugly! It wasn’t pretty and it took me a long time to accept that it was me and not the economy, the bank that gave me the cards or the government’s fault! It was mine! It’s not always easy to live with ourselves when we have these realisations about us. But it’s been my experience that the longer it takes me to accept that that’s just the way it is, the harder it is for me to stay on track to achieving whatever I want to achieve in life. Be it with money, personally or professionally!

I can always play the victim card but we both know that’s not really the truth. We can decide to be victims or victors! We can decide to use credit cards and keep on getting into debt or we can assume that we cannot control our spending because we know that until we reach that credit card’s limit it will keep on going. The decision is ours...

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Today we are getting into the nitty gritty! We are going to talk about one of my favorite things, well, 2 actually!, shopping and gift buying. I love buying gifts for others and I love getting gifts! The least thing I like getting is a gift card, unless it’s for a massage or a spa day!

I know it can get overwhelming when you think about getting a gift for someone, you never seem to know what to get them, you end up spending more than you wanted and you feel it’s not really something the other person enjoys. Don’t despair, I got you.

So, first, why are we talking about spending? Because I want to talk to you about saving! And because black friday is just around the corner and if you didn’t participate in the Festive Fund Saving, you can still do it but you have to get a move on and be really intentional, make it count!you can go to my Instagram bio to get the Festive Fund Tracker.

If you did get the Festive Fund Tracker, and you saved for the Festivities, you are halfway there! If not, it’s ok, you just have to be a little bit more intentional from now until the 26th of November! D day!

I’m hoping you want to do the holidays debt free, that is, without getting into debt or into more debt. You can do it, no matter where you are! Sure it will look different to you than to your next door neighbour but it’s ok!

I know that saying the holidays are all about being present and not giving presents is a cliché! Like I said, I love getting presents, but if it’s not a Rolex watch it will be a beautiful mug for my coffee or tea or better yet, my hot chocolate. Do I really want a mug? I’d rather have the Rolex but this year it will be like this and I’ll be sure to organise myself for next year!

If you enter the holiday season with an open mind and spirit everything will be a lot easier. Don’t let yourself get sucked into the guilt of not buying the latest gadget for your 2 year old, chances are it’s more for you to show off to friends and family than for the kid! (sorry, been there and done that!)

Moving on, if you got the cash ready, awesome! If you don’t save what you can until the deadline!

Next, make a list and check it twice! Yep, chances are you are not buying gifts for your entire family, if you are that’s fine, make a list of all the people you buy gifts for. For us, as soon as the month of september arrives all we hear is talk about Christmas, lots of logistics involved since we do it once here and once at my sister’s and she lives in another country! And soI know very early on, in September, what my kids want for Christmas. Then there’s us, my husband and I and my family and his family, so about 16 people total. These are the people I put on the list and start thinking about what would make them smile when they unwrap their gift! That’s the most important thing to me. I could buy my mother in law an Apple watch but she would much rather appreciate a picture of us in a beautiful frame, or a wool scarf. So More than how much it costs, I think about what would make them smile or make them happy.

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Today, I want to talk to you about frugality, what is it and why do we cringe when we hear the word, well most of us…

So, October 2nd was Frugal Fun Day and in light of that, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to talk about frugality!

So, what is a frugal person?

Well, according to the dictionary, it’s someone:

economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful: What your office needs is a frugal manager who can save you money without resorting to painful cutbacks. entailing little expense; requiring few resources; meager; scanty: a frugal meal.

Right under the meaning of frugal, in google search there was this question:

Is frugal an insult? - and the answer:

No, being called frugal is not an insult. Rather, frugality is just the practice of handling your money in a thoughtful and economical manner. Frugal people avoid excessive spending, and instead, place priority on their future financial health. Therefore, being called frugal is more of a compliment than an insult.

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https://linktr.ee/Thesparklingbudgeteer

Today I want to talk to you about the different kinds of budgets there are. Now, if you remember I told you that I listened to Dave Ramsay whenI was first getting out of debt. It wasn’t an easy thing, he has very strong opinions and like he says, he’s an expert on his opinions! So, sometimes it felt overwhelming and stressful when the budget wouldn’t work out the way he said it should!

Now, he is a firm believer that a Zero Balance Budget is the way to go! And it’s from him that I first learnt about Zero balance budgets! However, there are other types of budgets, let’s talk about the 5 most common types! In no specific order. They are:

These are the ones I mostly paid attention to and I tried them all, by themselves then trying to incorporate things from one into the other, anyway, no it didn’t work! Other than creating a messier mess in my finances I wouldn’t recommend you try that.

I was really looking for a magic pill that I could take so that I wouldn’t have to really stick to a budget. You know the kind! Pay yourself first but only after spending first so that you don’t feel restricted and arrive at a zero balance! A mess, didn’t work, if you do decide to try it, tell me how it worked for you, I would really like to know!

Before I start talking to you about the differences in each budget, bear in mind that we had a lot of debt. And we tried to pay all the debt first and then take the leftover money to live on. Except, there was so much debt that we had no money left over to live. So we had to decide on a plan to tackle the debt and still be able to buy groceries and pay rent. So, we didn’t file for bankruptcy but we had to make very tough decisions...

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Today I want to talk to you about… Spending Plans!

So far I’ve told you my story, the light version, I’ve talked to you about budgets, the extremely light version of Spending Plans and I’ve talked to you about the difference between Needs and Wants, that we sometimes have trouble distinguishing!

So I feel we are becoming good friends and it’s time to let you in on a secret. No matter how hard you try to stick to a budget if you are counting only on the numbers and your will power to get there… you probably won’t.

I don’t mean to discourage you, that’s not it. I want you to be excited about taking your finances into your own hands. Be in charge. Tell your money where to go. All this is very exciting and it’s the best thing anyone can do to feel in control of your life!

Now, everytime I talk about living on a budget, creating a spending plan, people automatically assume that it’s hard, they don’t want to be told by a piece of paper how to live their life! (this is the feedback I got from my episode on budgets)

So I want to dig a little bit deeper on the subject because I think I wasn’t clear! And I understand it’s hard, it’s actually very hard to, having lived for 10 or 20 years without a budget or some kind of plan for your finances the thought of creating one gives you chills!

Now I want to challenge you to be open minded about all I’ll be saying today because, I lived for 20 years without a plan for my money and the only reason I even considered ever creating a budget was when we had no money to pay the bills let alone get food on the table. So, my friend, please don’t let yourself get to that point before you take action! Not that you will get to that point! But I never thought I would either, so, there’s that!

But let’s say that you are doing just fine, even though you don’t pay your credit card balance in full at the end of the month and yes you have a car loan, but who doesn’t? And a mortgage, that’s normal, your student loans, you are paying them religiously, so what if you've been out of school for many years? the government says it’s ok to pay them a little at a time and you are doing exactly that!

Now imagine I don’t know, a pandemic hits! And you see your income being cut or you lose one of the 3 jobs you had before it all shut down! Maybe it’s time to look at that spending plan thing again? Maybe try to find out exactly how it works? I don’t know, maybe give it a shot?

A budget or a spending plan or whatever you choose to call it, is a very personal thing! You can not go on the internet, find a model budget and copy it and just go for it! Well you can, but there’s a little problem with that. It won’t work and you’ll get frustrated with it and yourself and you’ll give up. A few months later, or years, you decide to give it another shot and you relive that whole shabbang for the second time with no positive results.

Now, the first thing you need to do is to find out exactly what your financial situation is.

I’ll put the link to the pdf in the show notes if you want to grab it

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Hi Friend!

Today I think I want to talk to you about the difference between Needs and Wants!

It may seem very clear to you which things go under each category, but is it really? For example, a book, is it a need or a want? Well, if you're a teacher it may be a need, but if you really only love to read, then it’s a want. A need and a want can be very different from person to person.

Having said that, there are things that are definitely “wants” no matter how much you try to justify why you absolutely need it! But ultimately you get to decide what is a need for you. If you have a plan for your life and your money it is easier to categorise these wants and needs.

I have a rule to decide which is one or the other. I always, well, most of the times, look at the thing I want to buy and ask myself if I really can’t live without that thing or if I just don’t want to. I also ask myself if buying this thing is going to put me further or closer to my financial goals!

I also remind myself every day what my financial goals are. Am I trying to get out of debt, save for a vacation? To buy a new bag? I also ask myself which is more important, to buy the thing and maybe delay my big goal by 2 or 3 months or to not buy the thing and have my big goal reached within the time frame I had established in the first place? This can look different from situation to situation, for example if I’m saving for a car but I have the opportunity of going on a weekend get-away and not save anything towards the car that month… I probably choose to go on the weekend and delay buying the car by another month, or two. But if it’s between going on a weekend and not being able to save towards Christmas that month and Christmas is only 2 month away, I probably will choose Christmas savings over the weekend! There’s no right or wrong here, only whatever makes more sense to you and the season of life you are in! Your life is yours to design, so you get to decide. Although if the option is to put it on credit, don’t do that!

My trick to stick to my big saving goals  is to put post-its all over the place with reminders of what I’m working towards, financially speaking, because I do need to be reminded of my goals! I mean it’s so easy to spend those 10 or 100 dollars without thinking!

So, are wants and needs clear for you? When I was trying to get out of debt I didn’t have many needs, I didn’t even need to buy fresh bread everyday. Today buying fresh bread might be a need! Side note, it isn’t because I’d rather save those 2 bucks every day, 60 a month and 720 a year for my Christmas fund, or a nice pair of shoes! It’s my life, I choose!

You can do that math with anything you spend money regularly on. Just be intentional about it and don’t go spend that money on something else you don’t need! Just saying…

Remember, what’s essential for one person is a commodity for another, ultimately it’s up to you to decide how you want to live your life and how you can move things around in your budget to get it to where you feel good about it and are happy for now! A budget or your life, for that matter, aren’t stationary, they’re always evolving so just because things look one way today doesn’t mean they are going to look like that forever!

My tip for you is, think before you take action, aka spend! You’ll soon figure out what’s important to you and your family and you’ll start making small changes that make a big difference in your life. And that happens when your WHY becomes big enough!

www.moneywhineandcheese.com

@money_whine_and_cheese

email me: [email protected]

https://linktr.ee/Thesparklingbudgeteer

Podcast episode 2

Hi Friend!

Today I want to talk to you about… budgets! But first, I want to know if you had a chance to think about the question I asked you last week! How bad do you want it?

If you haven't, maybe give it another try, journal about it, ask it out loud! Just promise me you’ll give it a chance, it might change your life!

On to today’s topic, budgets!

I want this podcast to be inspirational but also to give you practical advice on your money and your life. I want to help you implement routines into your day to make it easier to create, and ultimately, get you to the life you know you want and deserve!

And having a plan for your money is essential to creating the life you want and know you deserve! Just like having a morning routine or an exercise plan!

Full disclosure, it was very hard for me to get on board with “budgeting”, not that I didn't want to, but all the information I found online was all about quit living your life and start living this budget’s life! And I didn’t want to do that, I tried but it didn’t work, so I found myself being frustrated all the time! I couldn’t stop buying coffee at starbucks because, hello!, I wasn’t buying coffee anywhere, I had no money! And that advice was not helping me, other than the fact that it told me to go get another job, it didn’t help me at all...

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