I'm having a hard time setting goals for the year! I love plans and budgets and lists and yet, when it comes to setting goals... something just paralyses me! While I was thinking about the goals I wanted to set, I started to think about the way I talk to you and how I am afraid to hurt your feelings and how much I want you to like me, because let's face it, I want everyone to like me! And even thought I know that everything I say to you is to help you, it's said with love, I still shy away from the hard truths because I don't want to discourage you any more than you already are by creating a budget and how overwhelming it can be... But there are things that most be said and I say them in this episode! 

Have a listen, tell me what you think about it... just remember, it's said with lots and lots of love!

On other news: I'm having a 3 day Webinar, From Overwhelm to Crushing Your Finances, it's completely free and I would love to see you there. I will be giving you lots of information, tips and tricks on how to create, maintain or curate your Spending Plan, Budget or List! Whatever you feel comfortable calling it!

Please go sign-up for the 3 Day Webinar here: https://mailchi.mp/b27b106153ae/3daywebinar

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In this episode I want to remind you of a few things you can do, or let go off, to have a more joyful or peaceful time during the Holiday Season.

But most of all I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. 

I want to thank you for being here, supporting me and I want you to know I'm here to support you. There are a lot of free resources you can grab, articles on the blog you can read that can help you navigate through this time, if it is challenging for you in any way. 

This episodes wraps up the year on the podcast but you can go back and listen to a few that are very relevant to this time year. 

I'll be back on the first week of January 2022 and I hope to see you back here as well!

Take care

Merry Christmas!

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It’s the most Wonderful time of the Year!

You all know I love all things Christmas! The weather, yes I’ve spent many Christmas in the southern hemisphere and yes, I loved it, but there’s just something about snow, a white bearded old man in a red suit and hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows…

If I’m being honest, I’ve been nesting from right about after Thanksgiving. I’ve been getting into the Christmas Mood. My choice of music (all Christmas carols and songs from back in the day to today, of course!) seems to annoy everyone in my house, whenever they come out of their rooms they have white things sticking out of their ears!!!! and if I need to get their attention I have to scream and shout and ultimately revert to poking them so they know I need their attention! (they are all also avoiding eye contact with me because “apparently” I’m smiling and singing, at the same time, at the top of my lungs!)

I get that this isn’t everybody’s favourite Season (even if I don’t understand why ;). I know it can be very stressful and people are going through tough times, be it because of the situation we are living worldwide, be it because of things going on with their family. Of course I have all those people that I love dearly in my mind and heart but twinkly lights have a way of getting me to hope for the best. I do like silver linings and am constantly looking out for them.

But today I want to tell you about something that happened to me this week! I didn’t know if I should but, well, I’m only human and I really want you to know that the struggle is real no matter where you find yourself in life! You know I love budgets and I don’t always stick to them but I do a “happy-dance” whenever I do! You also know all my conundrums with cards (mostly credit cards!). Well, this year, for the first time in forever, we, my husband and I, decided that we would leave a lot of “extra” money in our “everyday” bank account because we are going away right after Christmas and because of holidays, it would be easier to have the money already there.

This week, I was out shopping for the last Christmas gifts I needed to get and I went into a store that I’ve been “eyeing” for years but had never gone in because it looks very nice and expensive.

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I’ve been talking to you a lot about what not to do financially speaking, when you are trying to get out of debt or change your money habits.

One of the things most people, myself included, ignore is that our personal behaviours are a major factor to either help or sabotaje our success!

What I mean is, if we keep spending like we always have, if we keep earning like we always have, nothing is going to change. But if you are really trying to change your behaviour around money. If you are trying to spend less and be more intentional with your money but you keep doing the same thing, nothing is going to change.

When we want to change in one area of our lives, chances are we need to change in other areas as well! Let me give you an example, if you want to spend less, maybe it means you need to stop going out to dinner every friday night with your squad. So, if you continue to go out every Friday night it’s going to be very difficult for you to keep to your plan. I’m not saying that you should give up going out with your girlfriends ever! I am saying that you could cut dining out to 2 times a month and maybe join them for coffee or dessert every other friday!

It’s not ideal, I get it, you get Fomo just thinking about it! I’ve been there. But ultimately what’s more important? You stressing out every single month because you can hardly make ends meet,  holding your breath every time you hand out your card to see if it goes through. Or telling your friends what you need to do right now to create a more balanced life for yourself and eventually getting back to “every-friday-night” dinner with them! I get it that they may not need to cut back on their expenses but chances are you are not the only one struggling financially. But if you are, chances are they will understand and maybe cut back to dining two times a month in solidarity!

But what I’m more interested in is, are you willing to go through with it if they keep on going out every friday night? I’m always going on about how money is not the most important thing in getting out of debt or creating a spending plan...

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Happy Thanksgiving my American friends!

I hope you are having the most wonderful holiday with family and friends.

I know most of you are ready for tomorrow! I know I am! I shouldn’t really be saying this but… I love shopping and black friday is rapidly becoming one of my favorite days, especially because since 2019 online shopping has become one of my favorites!

I hope you have planned for it and you have your budget all set and your debit card ready! I know I do!

But today I’d also like to talk to you about… family!

It seems appropriate since most of us are spending the day with family and that’s not always easy! If anything it can be very stressful and I kind of want to tie the 2 last episodes. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to them go ahead and do that so that this one makes more sense!

I talked about Mental Health and Overspending on gift giving to be liked!

It’s a proven fact that the Holidays are a tough season for a lot of us! It’s not a coincidence that financial stress, gift giving and family are all in the top reasons why most people struggle during the Holidays!

So, as we officially enter the Season, I thought it would be a good time to once again, give you permission, if you feel you need it, to spend only what you have, give only when you feel called to do so and set boundaries with family and friends so that the Holidays run a little smoother this time around! More than 60% of people who are dealing with some kind of mental issue say they struggle more around Christmas.

At my house, overspending was the norm, gift giving took proportions never seen before because I wanted people to like me! I got a handle on these two. I am, however, actively working on that boundaries one!

I’m a people pleaser, well you should know that already, I mean I used to buy extravagant gifts for friends so that they would be impressed and like me better! I also have a problem saying no taking a stand, in my own house!

I recently took up tapping, if you don’t know what it is my friend Shannon, over at finally effing happy, you can find her on instagram, she’s amazing, introduced me to it and it’s been life changing, not only with dealing with past issues but also dealing with my anxiety and creating boundaries in my everyday life. Yes, because I have no boundaries whatsoever! And during the Holidays, or family gatherings it’s worse. I either let myself get walked all over or I say something the wrong way and ruin everyone's day so, most often than not I choose to keep quiet and just let people do whatever they want even if I spent months preparing for this and was excited to receive everyone in my house to celebrate Christmas.

I keep telling myself that it’s the Season of giving so I will let it go. But we all know that’s not true. I do it because it’s the way I have to not cause conflict. I run away from confrontation like I run from the plague! People pleaser here! And the truth is, it does nothing for my anxiety or my mental well being! So...

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Hi Sparkly friend! Today I’m coming to you from the South of France, Montpellier to be exact, it’s beautiful and we are just off the golf course… dreamy! Great to take long walks and it’s sunny so, all is well!

I know Thanksgiving has not yet arrived but I can't resist!

I'm a Christmas person. There, I said it! You have probably figured this out already and I wasn't even planning to write a post about my love for the Holiday Season but yesterday my son sent me a video of 4 years ago, where I'm singing, learning the lyrics to "Baby it's cold outside" by Idina Menzel and Michael Bubblé. That just got me on the memory lane track! I had already set up my "Winter" tree, because it's not a Christmas tree until you decorate it!, you can see it in the background of the video... so that got me longing even more for Christmas. Family time and hot chocolate and gift wrapping and... all things!

It also got me on the memory lane track to where we were, financially speaking! At the time we were almost done paying our debt, we had no money to splurge on gifts but it was also the year that a lot changed for us. We started giving more than ever, even before our financial debacle. I started believing that there must be something more than that! That being where I was. My mindset had begun to shift and I knew I was meant to do/be more. And that brings me back to today. What has changed since that day 4 years ago? Well, let's see!

My hair colour has changed... I'm blonder everyday that passes! I've always been partial to dark hair. Love it, but also, I could just buy some cheap dark colour shampoo and have no more grey hair! Of course I didn't like buying cheap shampoo! But it was all I could afford and I would not be seen dead with grey hair! Choices. My house had hand-down furniture and all new clothes were gifted.

Today, I go to the hairdresser and I have blond highlights that make me feel a million bucks (they almost cost as much!). My house is starting to feel like I live there again. I get to slowly but excitingly decorate it the way I want. I get to hang my new collection of Christmas ornaments that I've started since travelling to the Netherlands for a Concert or from Belgium, even Australia where I went for my High School Reunion or London where I went this year to meet my new amazing best friends and GirlSquad! I get to buy new clothes and shoes but mostly bags! I get to make a list to send Santa and I actually know I have a shot at getting a gift I asked for.

It may not seem a lot, but to me, it's changed my life! And all of that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me getting out of my way and working on my mindset around money as well as creating a plan for my finances. It's not been a smooth sail but it certainly has made a difference. I kept procrastinating and telling myself I could never do it! But the fact is I did and it all started with, at the end of "I could never do it" I added "but what if I could?". Nothing extremely out there, just the simple realisation that I could actually, maybe, perhaps do it and it would work!

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Today I thought I’d talk about spending! I know what you are thinking, “for someone who is always talking about budgeting and getting out of debt she sure talks a lot about spending!”

Well, you are not wrong! I have been very open about how much I LOVE spending money and also how that love for spending got me into financial trouble! So, if I’m constantly talking about spending, I hope you are hearing the shoulds and shouldn’ts!

I hope it’s clear to you, how much this is a passionate subject and how much I hope you get from my own experiences so that you don’t have to go through them yourself, or at least you recognise the “what not to do” early on in your journey and take a step in the right direction!

I’ve already told you that the Holiday Season, Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I also told you that more than receiving I love giving gifts to the people in my life!

What I might not have told you is this, I sometimes (well, most times) overspend when buying gifts because I want to show people that I love them so much, just kidding, it’s because I want people to be impressed by my gifts. There I said it. I have such a need for people to like me that I will do anything, even get myself into debt, so that people will like me even if it’s because of the gifts I give.

How messed up is that? Well, I am saying it in the present but the truth is, I gave up this habit a few years ago, right about the time when I didn’t have time to eat let alone buy gifts!

The other day, I was writing my list and checking it twice, of course!...

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This year mental health has been on everyone’s mind. No joke here, this is a very serious and heartfelt subject to me.

I believe it took a worldwide pandemic to get Mental Health the attention it deserves. Somehow, when everyone all over the world is concerned, issues take on a new proportion.

My interest in Mental Health began when I got out of debt and started to dig a little deeper to see (and stop beating myself up) if there had been anything during those struggling times that I could’ve done differently. FYI, I believe there weren’t, well, apart from getting into debt in the first place. But even that, I believe I needed to live that experience because I truly believe it’s my calling to help those that might find themselves in that same situation. I truly believe that if I hadn’t been through it, my judgemental self would spill all over everything I would do in life!

I’m not excusing myself and saying that I only got into debt because of mental problems, as I've battled depression ever since I can remember, but I am saying that debt and mental health issues go hand in hand. Remember this: mental health issues can cause severe debt and severe debt can cause health problems.

I’m also not saying that all debts are bad, I’m saying bad debts are bad. I’ve been very forward about my views and my struggles with all debts. I can say that from a logical viewpoint but emotionally, I’m still struggling with it. If you’ve been here for sometime, you know my reasons.

Now, what can you do when you are struggling with either one and then the other one creeps up? (hope that made sense!) Well let’s start with “You are battling some Mental Health issues, you are feeling depressed and sad and you have no desire to go out. First, PLEASE SEE A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, this is not the blues and you’ll snap out of it! Maybe you will but chances are you won’t, so talk to someone, tell them exactly how you are feeling and what your struggles are. But, chances are you don’t speak to that health professional straight away because you feel they won’t take you seriously. Instead you decide to go on amazon or some similar site and buy that cute sweater and those comfy yoga pants! Not that you are going to take up yoga but because you can see yourself curled up on the couch watching Hallmark Christmas movies or bad romance ones! (guilty and guilty!)

You then realise that you are putting it on your credit card that already has a balance because, let’s face it, life’s been tough and you’ve been doing what you can. You feel that now is your time, you already owe all that money on that card so what’s a few thousand more?! Especially if all you can think about when you get out of bed in the morning is to get back in it at the end of your work day. Talking about work, maybe you can put in some sick days and just stay in bed all day… that sounds more and more enticing as you drag yourself out of bed…”

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I’ve had some friends reach out and I’ve seen some comments about my view on credit cards and I want to set the record straight.

Now, you’ve all heard or seen my posts on social media about how I don’t use credit cards and tell everyone who will listen or read not to use them.

The reason I don’t use credit cards is because I don’t trust myself with them! There I said it! Many years ago I got into a lot of trouble because of credit cards! What I mean is, because I was not good at managing my finances and therefore I got into trouble. The credit cards were just the way I used to really show myself and whoever else was watching, that I was a diva and I allowed myself every little whim and every thing I thought I deserved!

I could have done that with a personal loan, or many, but it was with credit cards and since then I do not trust myself to be around them!

It took me a little while to hit rock bottom in debt but it took me a long while to get out of the debt and the shame. So there’s no way I will ever put myself in that situation again. Would I actually do the same thing? Probably not but I’d rather not find out.

It was during that very proving journey that I found myself and that I really got to know myself, the good the bad and the ugly! It wasn’t pretty and it took me a long time to accept that it was me and not the economy, the bank that gave me the cards or the government’s fault! It was mine! It’s not always easy to live with ourselves when we have these realisations about us. But it’s been my experience that the longer it takes me to accept that that’s just the way it is, the harder it is for me to stay on track to achieving whatever I want to achieve in life. Be it with money, personally or professionally!

I can always play the victim card but we both know that’s not really the truth. We can decide to be victims or victors! We can decide to use credit cards and keep on getting into debt or we can assume that we cannot control our spending because we know that until we reach that credit card’s limit it will keep on going. The decision is ours...

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Today we are getting into the nitty gritty! We are going to talk about one of my favorite things, well, 2 actually!, shopping and gift buying. I love buying gifts for others and I love getting gifts! The least thing I like getting is a gift card, unless it’s for a massage or a spa day!

I know it can get overwhelming when you think about getting a gift for someone, you never seem to know what to get them, you end up spending more than you wanted and you feel it’s not really something the other person enjoys. Don’t despair, I got you.

So, first, why are we talking about spending? Because I want to talk to you about saving! And because black friday is just around the corner and if you didn’t participate in the Festive Fund Saving, you can still do it but you have to get a move on and be really intentional, make it count!you can go to my Instagram bio to get the Festive Fund Tracker.

If you did get the Festive Fund Tracker, and you saved for the Festivities, you are halfway there! If not, it’s ok, you just have to be a little bit more intentional from now until the 26th of November! D day!

I’m hoping you want to do the holidays debt free, that is, without getting into debt or into more debt. You can do it, no matter where you are! Sure it will look different to you than to your next door neighbour but it’s ok!

I know that saying the holidays are all about being present and not giving presents is a cliché! Like I said, I love getting presents, but if it’s not a Rolex watch it will be a beautiful mug for my coffee or tea or better yet, my hot chocolate. Do I really want a mug? I’d rather have the Rolex but this year it will be like this and I’ll be sure to organise myself for next year!

If you enter the holiday season with an open mind and spirit everything will be a lot easier. Don’t let yourself get sucked into the guilt of not buying the latest gadget for your 2 year old, chances are it’s more for you to show off to friends and family than for the kid! (sorry, been there and done that!)

Moving on, if you got the cash ready, awesome! If you don’t save what you can until the deadline!

Next, make a list and check it twice! Yep, chances are you are not buying gifts for your entire family, if you are that’s fine, make a list of all the people you buy gifts for. For us, as soon as the month of september arrives all we hear is talk about Christmas, lots of logistics involved since we do it once here and once at my sister’s and she lives in another country! And soI know very early on, in September, what my kids want for Christmas. Then there’s us, my husband and I and my family and his family, so about 16 people total. These are the people I put on the list and start thinking about what would make them smile when they unwrap their gift! That’s the most important thing to me. I could buy my mother in law an Apple watch but she would much rather appreciate a picture of us in a beautiful frame, or a wool scarf. So More than how much it costs, I think about what would make them smile or make them happy.

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