In the wake of both Fetlife and Adult Friend Finder getting their content and naughty secrets scraped and posted online, there has been a renewed discussion about secrecy and privacy in swinging & polyamory. Katie Mack joins us to discuss these topics and think about what it means to be secretive, how it relates to our own private closets and give you suggestions on maintaining your cone of privacy in the modern Internet age. Social networks, dating & swinging sites, privacy v. secrecy, photos, (more) secure payment methods, burner phones and email accounts are all on the table.

Here’s a Krebs on Security article on recent breaches. Here’s an article addressing the AdultFriendFinder breach.

Welcome to our 21st Gang Bang the Mailbag! As always, if you want to ask a question via voicemail or text: 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464, or send us an email at [email protected] always we want to remind those of you at home to tweet along with us at #sspodcast

We address a “The Professor” callout from a listener on the definition of monogamy, a listener looking for advice on an MFM in Tokyo, large age differences between partners in swinging, a listener whose wife kind of wants out of non-monogamy, and the trials and tribulations of being with a partner who has two left sexual feet.

Cooper also throws out there that a great name for a new band would be Suburbanesque World of Heteronormative Privilege.

Also from Dylan:

OH GOD IT WAS Q-TIP!

CANADA, YOU DID THIS TO ME

Believe it or not, our voicemail gang bang overflowed and we were left with extra voicemails. With that in mind, we've collected some listener emails to do our twentieth mailbag gangbang! As always, if you want to ask a question via voicemail or text: 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464, or send us an email at [email protected]. All questions have been edited to fit in the space allowed.

We discuss meeting opposite partners before private dates, expectations and consent, making the first move at clubs, soft swapping with single males and solidifying rules as newbies as well as getting over boundary violations.

Holy Shit Shira B. Katz is here! … and she’s causing trouble! … and she starts a wonderful conversation with Ginger about mindfulness! ….and she asks what we’ve been doing with our lives and we update her with an episode almost entirely about “our business” which included the introduction of the term relationship anarchy.

It was a pleasure and we hope it happens again. J

…also “dumping with Dylan” may become a thing now. And I guess “Just the Tip with Dylan Thomas”.

Maybe.

Whatever.

We reference Headspace (the website that apparently treats your head right) and Dr. Dan Siegel’s book Mindsight. 

Adult film star, author, sex educator, outspoken feminist and advocate for sexual acceptance Nina Hartley joins and honors us with a conversation on the Swingset.

Nina was a pioneer of sex positivity before sex positivity was a thing. A prolific performer, an outspoken feminist and an advocate for sexual acceptance (as a board member of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance), Nina is the sexual freedom fighter we all admire. We are deeply honored to welcome her onto the Swingset.

After Nina leaves, Dylan responds to an email we received regarding our latest Bedcast by both acknowledging our own failings and by shining light on the absurdity of claiming lack of responsibility through silence and complacency.

Vacations. Aren't they great? But you know what's better? SEXY VACATIONS. The kind where you can be naked and flirt all day and have sex all night. Or maybe you decide on an afternoon delight. Of course, on vacation, you have time for all of the above! For those who've never been on a sexy vacation, they can also be intimidating and scary. For our ninth Swinging for Dummies episode we, enthusiastic advocates of the sexy vacation, share what we have learned so that your next sexy vacation is everything you want it to be and more. That's tonight on Life on the Swingset the podcast.

Tonight's episode is sponsored by our good friends at Gamelink.com, which is where you should be going for your porn!

Adult film star and filmmaker jessica drake has seen the porn industry through some of its most radical and affecting changes, and has moved herself from star to writer to educator with her jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex Series. Tonight she's joining us to discuss this evolution of an industry. We chat about how the industry deals with the double edged sword of the Internet, the difference between porn as entertainment and porn as education, cyber bullying, and we giggled about sitting on the floor crosslegged.

Way back in 2011 Life on the Swingset issued a pleasure quest. Find a quality ejaculating dildo. Over the years, we did NOT find quality dildos, we DID find Miko, though, so it was a win over all. Tonight we have Steph Berman with us, creator of The Semenette, the best ejaculating dildo I've ever seen, to talk with us about simulacrum genitals.

We spoke at length about the original mission of The Semenette, to provide a way for partners to conceive and still connect in a sexy and fun way, and opened up to possibilities of users and partners playing in safe and non procreative ways; pegging, cum play, new ways for those with erectile dysfunction to still experience the pleasure of ejaculating on and in someone... it's a very versatile dildo.

We're back with more Swinging basics in our Swinging for Dummies series! Full Swap and Soft Swap are the two main classifications of swinging, with full swap including traditional PIV/PIA ( penis in vagina/penis in anus ) sex and soft swap not. Tonight on Life on the Swingset the podcast, we're going to be talking about the decision making that can lead you from one classification to another, as well as the benefits and drawbacks of both. But, you know, sexy like.

Also… Take a listen to The Drifters – Save the Last Dance For Me!

We hit the jackpot when it comes to voicemail questions in this episode. In fact, our voicemailbag runneth over. The Swingset crew gathers around to listen to your questions this time around. The crew tackle questions about humans being suited for monogamy, use of alcohol in the lifestyle, defense of the no kissing rule in the lifestyle, even the use of the term "the lifestyle." There's also a special treat for you, Swingsetters. Enjoy the song "Sock Puppet" by the band Sticky Biscuits. An awesome song about fisting. 

Keeping calling in with those voicemail questions. We'd love to do more Gang Bang The VoicemailBag episodes.