Life Over Coffee

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-marriage-or-mayhem-purposes-for-marriage/

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Biff’s friend, Bert, is known for being a practical joker. Bert's sense of humor is a strength that has endeared him to many, but like most strengths, it has become his greatest weakness. Bert rarely allows for serious conversations, leaning heavily on verbal sparring through sarcasm and mocking, which always dominates the conversations. Being with Bert is like a competitive event, often putting others down in front of their peers.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-freddie-the-flesh-cutter/

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The news of Biff and Mable’s teenage daughter’s pregnancy sent shockwaves through their local church. In response, the pastors recommended marriage counseling, which you agreed to provide.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-present-but-not-accounted-for/

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Biff is seeking counseling after his wife, Mable, discovered inappropriate searches on their home computer. Initially, Biff denied any wrongdoing, claiming ignorance. However, the browser history revealed hundreds of ungodly links, leaving no room for doubt. Since they are the only ones with access to the computer, the responsibility clearly rests on Biff.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-his-confession-was-not-greater-than-what-others-knew/

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Mable struggles with deep insecurity masked by self-righteousness. Her desire for perfection and a craving for others’ approval distort her relationships with both God and those closest to her. Her family is well aware of her tendencies but feels unable to address them because Mable is not humble enough to receive feedback about her faults.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-your-high-standards-tempt-me-to-lie/

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Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness often seems impossible when the offense is deep, the pain is fresh, or reconciliation feels unsafe. But biblical forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, excusing, or instantly trusting again. It’s about releasing the debt—just as Christ released ours. In this gospel-centered webinar, Rick Thomas reframes forgiveness as an act of worship, not a concession to the offender, helping us see how freedom begins when we entrust justice to God.

Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-564-webinar-unforgiveness-and-the-gospel/

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Biffina, in her 30s, represents many lonely people who have faced the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Biffina, also like so many others, has interpreted her childhood trauma through a lens of self-condemnation. As a result, she now struggles with identity, relationships, and viewing herself biblically.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-abused/

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Mable, a nineteen-year-old, grew up in a tumultuous home. Her father’s instability, expressed through pouting and anger-laced outbursts, created an environment of fear, insecurity, and unpredictability. She vividly recalls curling up in a fetal position at night, listening to her parents argue.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-mables-search-for-self-esteem/

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Shows Main Idea – Anger is more than a behavior problem—it’s a worship issue. In this powerful webinar, The Heart of Anger: What It Costs, What It Reveals, Rick Thomas exposes the hidden motivations behind both explosive outbursts and silent treatments. Learn how to move past surface-level management and address the root of anger at the heart level through a gospel-centered lens.

Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-563-webinar-the-heart-of-anger-what-it-costs-what-it-reveals/

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Mable described her marriage in deeply painful terms, saying she feels like a prostitute. She went on to admit that she uses intimacy as a tool to manipulate her husband while he reacts to his unmet desires with pouting or anger. Their relationship is caught in a destructive cycle of sinful behaviors, leaving her feeling hopeless and unsure of how to move forward.

Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-case-of-the-christian-prostitute/

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