Have you ever wondered how it is possible to believe the right things yet do the wrong things? It happens regularly—at least to me. I am in situations where I have the opportunity to do the right thing. Sometimes, I make the wrong choice in those moments—even when I know what the right decision should be. A wrong response creates a gap between what I know to do and what I actually do. My orthodoxy says one thing; my orthopraxy reveals another. If you are like me, there is a gap between what you know and what you do too.

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The most significant trap that tripped up Mable was that her desire for marriage and companionship had morphed into something God never intended. She had gotten caught up in the self-centered craving for perceived needs, as popularized by our culture. She saw the good God offered her through the lens of contemporary Christian literature rather than through the lens of Scripture. “Love Languages,” “Love and Respect,” “His Needs, Her Needs”: these are some of the books and buzzwords that are bandied about Christendom to find wholeness, resolve relational conflict, and live your best life now. While I understand why such materials exist, in marriage counseling specifically, these concepts are generally more of a hindrance than a help.

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Shows Main Idea – Rick and Lucia Thomas answer a stack of questions from our Life Over Coffee community. They address marriage conflict, communication, anger, dating, introversion, parenting, functional atheism, confronting others, and much more. You’ll love their interaction and the practical application of the gospel in their lives as they share with you things they have learned as a couple imperfectly following God.

Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-481-rick-and-lucia-answering-your-questions/

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After a couple of sessions of getting to know Mable, I began to ask her specific questions regarding her fundamental understanding of theology and how that theology worked out practically in her life. I knew that if I could uncover what she believed about God and how she applied her understanding of God to her life, I would start to understand how she had gotten to this place in her life and marriage. The answer to every issue that she would ever encounter, including her current marriage problems, would, in the final analysis, flow out of her theology: specifically, how she thought about God and how she practically applied those thoughts to her life. My initial point-of-focus was Romans 8:28.

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-mables-lonely-journey-begins/

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I met Mable at a conference, where she approached me with a soft-bound copy of my Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold booklet in her hand. She said that God had transformed her life and marriage through this little booklet. She asked me to sign it, which I gratefully obliged. The storyline is about a lady who decided to work on her marriage despite her husband's unwillingness. I hope many more couples find the same hope and help as Mable did as they read and apply what I have written.

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-one-the-desperate-housewife/

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Shows Main Idea – Marriage is a long-term, forever relationship with no escape clause. I realize there are biblical reasons for divorce, but it’s not how things should be. Typically, when there is a divorce, it’s because the couple has done something to kill their marriage. A gentleman wrote me a few years ago in tears. He saw my graphic about ten ways to kill your marriage and said he did all ten. Here are those ten things, and I wrap up with ten ways to bless your marriage.

Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-480-ten-ways-to-kill-your-marriage/

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A happy home does not just happen. Like all good things, you must have a plan and be willing to execute hard work (Luke 14:27). The good news is that Christians have the schematic for happiness, which begins with confession and forgiveness. The crucial concern centers on whether we’ll do the hard work of confessing our transgressions and forgiving each other. The couple that understands this path to reconciliation and practices it will not stop until they become the beneficiaries of a happy home.

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-non-negotiable-first-step-to-build-a-happy-home/

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Shows Main Idea – Into the Light is a teaching documentary on freedom from pornography that walks through the change process from bondage in sin to freedom in Christ. Jacob Valk and John-Michael Bout are the creators. Rick Thomas sat down with Jacob to talk about why he and John-Michael created this teaching documentary, Jacob’s life in Canada, his migration to Southern Seminary, and future aspirations as they serve the body of Christ with more world-class instructional videos that address sexual confusion and the Bible’s solutions for this global problem that dominates so much of our lives.

Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-479-jacob-valk-into-the-light-documentary/

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We will never forget the tragedy of 9/11. Most of us who are old enough remember exactly where we were on that tragic day. I was sitting in my counseling office at our local church, staring blankly at a TV screen as the news unfolded. The best word to describe my mental state was surreal, and it continues to boggle my mind to think how anyone could be so twisted that they would fly a plane into a building and kill 3,000 innocent lives. But then I think of myself in my evil moments of misplaced faith. It’s scary. Though none of us will do what those terrorists did, we can go down a regrettable path of hard heartedness and misplaced faith, believing what we’re doing is the right thing, begging the question: How can a heart become so hardened that we think what we’re doing is okay, even though it’s evident to everyone else we’re wrong?

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/911-a-study-in-misplaced-faith-and-a-hardened-conscience/

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Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior and attitude toward me and the many cruel and untrue things she has done behind my back to other family members? She never asks for forgiveness and only tells me I need to understand her feelings. Am I wrong to stay my distance and set some boundaries?” What would you say to Biff? Have you ever had a situation like this? How did you handle it?

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/am-i-to-forgive-someone-who-is-not-asking-3/

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