Life With Herpes

Life With Herpes  https://youtu.be/Km2QhOakym0 Hi friends! I’m glad you're here. Telling anyone you have herpes can be terrifying, paralyzing, scary, alarming and the list can go on and on. Now the thought of telling someone you like and want to have a relationship can be even more frightful. Personally, I believe it goes way deeper than having herpes, it’s the fear of rejection. And the thought of being rejected for having herpes feeds into the awful stigma. The truth is, a lot of time we never really know why a lover dumps us, or why they are just “not that into you” or why they never become a lover. But now with having herpes, we use it as our scapegoat as to why a love affair didn’t work out or as a reason we never even date in the first place. Trust me I get it! But this is the last thing I want you to feel. Take herpes out of the equation and date, have fun and fall in love. 5 simple steps to telling your partner you have herpes.   Get Your Facts Straight 

It’s important to understand yourself what is herpes. And if you are here then that is exactly what you are doing. High five to you! I hear time and time again people misconstruing what herpes actually is. Its a virus that is skin to skin transmission,  you will have the virus for the rest of your life and it causes painful blisters in either your genital region or your mouth. That’s it. It doesn’t prevent you from being healthy, happy, getting married, having children, getting the job of your dreams and most importantly it doesn’t kill you. Remember, it’s just a silly skin disease.

Practice On Your Dog 

Dogs are a man's best friend and they totally get you. If your a cat person then practice on your kitty and if your animal-free then practice in the mirror. Get whatever you want to say out. You can curse your gifter, cry on the floor, become angry, resentful or however you need to feel. Get it out. Then, start over without the anger and the rage. Telling your new love how awful or bad or wrong your pasts relationship was when you are telling them you have herpes is not the time. There will be a time and a place for it but this conversation is not that.

Do it in person, not over text

It’s my motto that when you have bad news then you need to do it in person or if that’s not available then a phone call. I use this rule of thumb from when I was in the mortgage industry, there were times when I had great news like, “your house just closed” and then there were times I had bad news like, “I’m sorry to let you know but you do not qualify for the home you would like to buy.” It’s easy to deliver good news and it’s hard to deliver bad news. It happens way to often now with our text era but when we read texts or emails we can put a different tone or twist on the message and it might not be what was meant at all. So with that being said, it’s important you tell your lover to be in person. This way he or she can see your emotions, they can see how you feel about it and learn how to talk to you about it.

Understand Why It’s Important To YOU To Tell Them 

This is a really important key ingredient for you to understand. You may or may not share this with your lover to be but it’s important for your well being to understand. Of course, there’s it's the right thing to do, or maybe your doctor told you that you need to, or maybe your best friend is giving you a guilt trip. But you need to understand why you want to tell them. My personal beliefs and don’t feel like they need to be yours but mine are; honesty is a foundation to a relationship, talking about having herpes will help you prevent transmitting it to them, and sharing something so personal will lead to deeper connection. Take some time to figure out why you feel it’s important to tell your lover you have herpes. Maybe you share this when you tell them or maybe you keep it to yourself, it’s up to you.

Get Tested Before You Sleep Together  This means both of you! This is something that is great to add to the conversation. Firstly, if we always had this as a rule before sleeping with someone then we might not be here today. Just pointing out the obvious and I’m totally guilty too. But in all seriousness, it’s your body, you only have one body and you will never get a new body. Being diagnosed with herpes should be a wakeup call to respect it and continue to respect it. If you don’t respect your body then nobody else will. By requiring you both to get tested shows that you value their sexual health and your sexual health.  It puts you both on the same playing field rather than you coming into the relationship feeling like you are not an equal because you have herpes. Both get tested, see what the results are and talk about them. You’ve already gone through the, OMG I have herpes, I don't want to see you put yourself back in that position again. Of course, you can take the suggestions and use them how you wish. Maybe you have a fish you want to practice on...lol. But regardless, it’s important to know you are loved, you are beautiful and do not let this microscopic silly virus prevent you from finding epic love. If this is something you want to talk further about, I want to invite you to our 2 times a week support group. Telling your partner you have herpes is something we talk about all the time. Go to www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup to learn more and sign up for our next session. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Vagina Therapy, Body Work and Talking To Your Herpes https://youtu.be/2sXTGgDbE_Q Life With Herpes Podcast Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. Have you ever considered your body is trying to tell you something when you have an outbreak or when you aren’t feeling good in some other way? Our guest today says it is and she’ll help you understand the message. Sophia Wise One is a certified Holistic Pelvic Care Provider™ and Reiki Master. She practices Holistic Vagina and Rectal Therapy and has also begun working with men’s genitalia as well. Today on Life With Herpes, we talk about how you can move through any blocks, pain or trauma you may be holding in your pelvic area, why our bodies are not “good” or “bad” and how we can talk to our herpes virus. A Dive Into Body Wisdom & Body Healing To start off the show Sophia explains what it means to be a holistic pelvic care provider. She says the holistic perspective of this part of the body is that it is a landscape that holds information about our emotional, mental and spiritual health. So she approaches this work with a respect and interest to all of those things simultaneously. The pelvic area is considered to be the root of the body. In male-identifying people, it is the penis and in female-identifying people, it is the vagina. The root is where we hold a lot of our energy: our hurts, our fears, our hopes. Often these feelings get stuck, we create a dam there and these feelings can't move and flow. We all also have womb energy, this is the space in which we hold our regenerative and our creative self. Our dreams and our desires are held here. One of her favorite ways to think about the root is the pelvic bowl. This bowl is from the taint up to our hips. So when we're talking about the root, the primary teaching she offers here is to think to yourself: I am made of space and matter. I take up space, and I matter. Anything that is connected to you takes up space and anything that connects to you matters. Whether that is having a purpose in your life or feeling valued by others, and honoring your own needs is all based in the root area of your body. This area holds what we need and what we know. What we are feeling happens in our heart, what we are thinking in our minds, and what we know happens in our root/pelvic bowl. A lot of people don't experience this because they are disconnected from this area, so getting into the root can be scary and also exciting. Now when we're talking about herpes (specifically genital herpes), when we get connected to the virus does that mean it will dissolve itself physically? Herpes is so attached to shame, anger, hurt and distrust can get in touch with our root clear the physical manifestation of genital herpes? She thinks for some it could. Getting in touch with their root helps some people clear the congestion and the energetic, physical, emotional and mental stories about themselves. Clearing all of that could result in clearing the rash. She's not going to say it doesn't always happen because we have an opinion about our bodies that our body is either being good or it's being bad.   She says there are many things that can go into our learning and our growth, and our bodies are just one of those many things. Sometimes when our bodies are doing something we perceive as "bad" it's only because they are communicating with us and asking for something they need. In other words, you can do all the things you need to do to get connected with your body and the herpes rash may still not go away. I asked her if we should talk to our herpes virus and she said absolutely. One way you can do this is to always start with love and care. You can place your hand lightly on your genitals. This helps you bring your focus and get connected to this area. Send a few breaths and feel into that space. Now ask the question you have for your herpes. Imagine that question is a penny and you have dropped it in a well, and you are the well. You want to feel that watery answer, so wait for it. It could be an emotion, a memory, a knowing, an image, a taste, a tingle, a sensation, a sound. On today’s show, we also get into what to do instead of Kegels, what pelvic floor work is exactly and how to know if we need it. Join us for this fascinating discussion on this edition of Life With Herpes. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Reach Out To Sophia Wise One Sophia Wise One’s website Sophia’s Connect to Your Root course (free) Vagina Talks podcast Sophia Wise One on Instagram Wild Feminine, by Tami Lynn Kent Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Life With Herpes

As someone who has herpes, and I’m guessing you do too because you are reading this, leaning ways to prevent outbreaks is on the top of our list. Clearly after having our first outbreak, which is typically the worst, we never want to experience that again. I know I sure don’t.  Chances are you’ve googled or tuned into Life With Herpes to find out what causes herpes outbreaks. I know I wanted to know what foods cause outbreaks or are there any lifestyle changes I need to make to prevent outbreaks. And of course the next question is what causes these suckers… ??? Over the years I’ve been paying careful attention to see what causes outbreaks and are there types of activities that can cause outbreaks.  The good news is once you know your triggers you can begin to plan and combat the virus. Some of these are my personal triggers and some of these are triggers our members in the Life With Herpes community have mentioned. Here they are:

Sex

It’s always fun to talk about sex. Friction and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly.It’s s a great thing and that’s what makes it feel so good but when there is too much friction like the, not enough lube type of sex, that type of friction can cause some skin irritation. The skin irritation can bring on some symptoms of an outbreak and even cause outbreaks. Listen to your body, if sex hurts then talk to your partner. This can be a hard conversation especially mid-pump  but sex is supposed to feel good and not hurt so talk to each other. Maybe try using lube. Lube can be a fun thing and it can really help with the sensation for both of you. Stay away from the lubes that contain spermicide nonoxynol-9, it can irritate the vagina and mess up her environment in there and that equals no fun for anyone. If you are using condoms then make sure you use a water based lube because oil based can weaken the latex and cause holes and tears. If your in the market for an oil based lube then my favorite is the Woo For Play. Check it out here.   

Travel

The stress and or excitement of travel can definitely play a huge role on outbreaks. Other things that add to the travel plans are different time zones, not getting good sleep because you are in a different bed, different food, more alcohol consumption, different climate or environment and of course the actually travel time. We don’t realize how traveling really stresses out bodies. Whereas we are having fun sight seeing or visiting a lover our bodies are in overdrive mode fighting off new bugs that enter into our system. I know that for me personally travel always causes an outbreak unless I show it who's boss first.  

Sun

This one is more for people with oral herpes because the sun isn't necessarily seeing our privates. Extended sun exposure or also known as ultraviolet (UV) light can lower the immune system and in some people can cause an outbreak.   

Grooming

Mostly referencing for the ladies but we spend a lot of time waxing, plucking, shaving, sugaring and lasering. Depending on your hair and the coarseness and thickness of your pubic hair the grooming can really irritate your skin. We have pubic hair to protect us from infection and other hibijibis getting in there. I hear all the time from our community that women get outbreaks after shaving. This may or may not be a trigger for you but I wanted to make sure it was on your radar.  

Trauma To The Area  

this includes activities like bike riding, horseback riding, riding the bull (maybe that’s your thing lol). Ladies this is more of our thing and it can also be caused from wardrobe trauma, know what I’m talking about when it comes to jeans that are too tight or sexy lingerie that is meant to be idle in and not actually warn or bodysuits with all the fun snaps. In other words, if there is some type of friction or abrasion to the area it can cause some suffering or a wound. I do believe if you build your tolerance up, like wear sexy lingerie daily (just kidding), or take up cycling then you will build up your endurance.

High intensity activities

this one is more for your immune system and exhausting your body. So taking a boxing class or joining a running club won't cause an outbreak from the activity or sweating but what it can do is compromise your immune system. What I’m not saying is dont exercise, sorry if this was going to be music to your ears. What I’m saying is pushing yourself to the Flo Jo level every day may not be the best thing for your immune system. In fact, I’ve had some members mention they’re training for marathons and boom...an outbreak pops up. Moderate exercise has been found to increase your immune system and do great things for your body but crushing it back to back to back and not letting your muscles rest can open up a pathway for other viruses and bugs to get in thus making your body work extra hard and letting your herpes virus have a hall pass. Now that you know the top activities that cause outbreaks you can begin to either plan ahead, build a tolerance or have your herpes emergency kit ready. If you need more information on curing your herpes outbreak then click here to learn more.

 

Coconut oil, amino acids and what it has to do with the herpes virus   https://youtu.be/STKVUA-OC-I   Life With Herpes In the recent years, coconuts have become the holy grail of the beauty industry and is the solution to so many ailments. It’s claimed to prevent Alzheimer's, prevents heart disease, it doesn’t store as fat in your body, it is an immune booster and the benefits of coconuts just goes on and on.  Trust me, I love coconut oil too. It’s great for cooking, I love using it as a lotion, as a moisturizer for my face, for keeping my teeth white and my favorite is lube. I should probably do an episode just on this. If you remember from previous episodes we break down arginine and Lysine and coconut is one of the biggies for the arginine to lysine ratio. Yikes!!! So is coconut oil good for your herpes outbreak or what? Coconut oil and coconut water don’t contain amino acids only the coconut milk and coconut meat contain amino acids. What this means is coconut oil and coconut water is excellent for you especially when you have an active outbreak. On the contrary, you will want to limit your coconut milk and coconut meat intake. Wondering how this all works? Let’s first talk about viruses. They have this protective outer shell that is made up of protein. This shell is what prevents our bodies from essential killing it or taking control of the virus allowing the virus to multiply in our body.  Here is how the coconut oil comes to the rescue. The coconut oil contains Lauric acid and capric acid and they get metabolized and attach to the virus. The cool thing is that when this happens the coconut oil can dissolve this protective shell. It’s kinda like the virus getting caught with its pants down. The virus now has no protection and thus the virus dies. Pretty cool right? Moving forward, use as much coconut oil as you like for your cooking, sex and outbreak prevention. Here's my favorite coconut oil lube I use. Click here to learn more.  Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than  a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Key Foods That Cause Herpes Outbreaks   https://youtu.be/O0xm4_QODJc Life With Herpes Hi, my friend and welcome to today’s episode of Life With Herpes. Some of the top questions that I see happening in our private community are around preventing outbreaks. You guys are asking is there something that is in my diet that is triggering this or is the someway I can control my outbreaks with nutrition. Basically, what can I do to prevent these dang things from interrupting my life?   Ok so the YAASSSS you can. This is good news, right? Trust me, I’m like you and I want to do everything I can to prevent an outbreak and keep that sucker dormant. Before we dive in and cover the top foods that cause outbreaks I want to make sure we cover the main reason why these foods are Xed off our list. It boils down to one simple protein called arginine. Arginine is an essential amino acid that is crucial to our overall health. It supports things like blood flow, circulation and helps the blood vessels relax.  We clearly need arginine in our system. The problem occurs when we have an abundance of arginine in our body it can be like lighter fluid to a flame or miracle grow to a weed. We want to be aware of what foods are high in arginine and foods that trigger a herpes outbreak. We can combat the arginine with another essential acid called lysine. This The other biggie, why some of these foods are on our don’t go there list, is because they lower our immune system. A low immune system equals a chance for the herpes virus to come out and play. Here are the top 5 foods that can trigger your herpes and cause an oh so painful outbreak.   1. Coconut  I know what you are thinking, “coconut?” “Isn't that supposed to be an antiviral, an antibacterial and a superfood that does wonders in the kitchen and for our skin and everything else?” Well, at least that's what I was thinking when I heard coconut is off the list. Here’s why, coconut is super high in arginine and low in lysine with this ratio it can easily trigger an outbreak. Get this, when I was first diagnosed I read online that coconut did wonders etc so I would eat 2 tbsp a day! Basically, all of the arginine was just feeding the virus and the virus must have felt like it was at an all you can eat buffet. Not good!   2. Caffeine  Maybe cut back on the triple shot % with extra foam venti latte. There are always so many studies coming out about caffeine. One day it prolongs your life and the next it shortens your life. One day it helps you maintain a healthy weight and the next it puts weight on. One day it helps with dementia and the next it doesn't.  Basically, caffeine is a mixed bag so if you are a caffeine drinker then cut back to a lower dose. There’s no reason to be running on caffeine. There aren’t high amounts of arginine in caffeine however what happens in our bodies is it the caffeine creates an acidic environment and when our bodies are acidic it lowers our immune system and creates a breeding ground for viruses.  I’m not saying don't have your morning cup of coffee I’m saying cut back so your immune system can do what it’s supposed to do. If you are feeling run down or have an outbreak then lay off the coffee for a couple of days so your body can renew. 3. Chocolate This one is personally the most difficult for me. Chocolate has so many great health benefits such as preventing free radicals, potential cancer prevention and overall good for our health.  Not to mention how delicious it is but the downside for us with herpes is it’s high in arginine. If you're a chocoholic then see what you can do about cutting back and limiting your intake. Sometimes less can be more so maybe treat yourself to a special chocolate so you feel like you are indulging opposed to just having it on hand. 4. Nuts Nuts are such a great source of nutrients and fats but they are extremely high in arginine especially my favorite, peanuts. This one put a damper on things for me personally because nuts are such a great snack to keep in your purse or desk at work for when the hunger strikes. But nuts are a biggie. Some people are so sensitive that they can feel an outbreak coming on after finishing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If you're nuts for nuts or it is based on convenience for you then try to limit this to a handful or try it every other day. Also, experiment with different nuts, maybe you can’t do peanuts but almonds are fine.   5. Sugar  Sugar has been the villain in most of our nutrition guidelines and we have been advised to stay away from sugar to prevent every ailment. Now, I can’t disagree that sugar is bad for you but it’s also very very very hard to avoid it thus making it hard to cut out. It’s hidden in everything. Sugar doesn't contain arginine however what it does do is slower your immune system which is bad news.  Your immune system works hard every day to keep your outbreaks at bay and keep the herpes virus dormant in your nervous system. When sugar is consumed it suppresses our white blood cells which are the ones that are our front line of defense thus making them sluggish against fighting viruses. When you're on a sugar high your immune system is on vacay and it gives the herpes virus an open door to pop up. What I don’t want you to be thinking  after reading this is, “gosh I can’t have anything or all the good stuff is bad for me.” Or worse. I don’t want you stressing out over an almond or asking if there is coconut hidden in your chia seed pudding. Relax. Breath. Stressing out over your food choices can also cause a breakout and clearly, that is what we are trying to avoid. What I recommend and how I live my daily life is in moderation and balance. It’s ok to have a PB&J sandwich and it’s ok to have a piece of chocolate cake and enjoy an espresso and use coconut oil for cooking. Just not all in the same day. What I’m saying is keep it in perspective and enjoy these things in moderation and balance your arginine with lysine. If you have a piece of chocolate cake then the next day cut back on some of the other biggies. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Life With Herpes What you need to know to prevent herpes outbreaks.   https://youtu.be/y2OZcjoLon0 Prior to being diagnosed with herpes you probably never heard of arginine and lysine. At least I never did. I am pretty sure it was covered in biology class at some point in high school but not being the science geek that stuff went right out of my memory bank. So what is all this fuss over arginine and lysine and how does it affect people living with herpes?  Here are the deets. Let’s go back to science class. Remember what amino acids or essential proteins do? I had to pull this way out of my memory file.   Amino acids are the building blocks of our muscles and really each muscle is what shapes our body so they are pretty important. Perhaps when you were in biology your teacher used the visual example of legos. Remember when you completed your lego house and it was all put together well imagine that each leggo is an amino acid. Each leggo fits and builds on top of the other one to make the big lego house. It’s the same with amino acids they all go together and to build your muscles. Amino acids do other cool stuff that is essential for the synthesis of proteins, enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, metabolic pathways, mental stabilization, and just about every function that takes place within the human body. So they are pretty important. Essential amino acids are...wait for it…essential. They are essential because our bodies can not make them on our own so in order to function properly, we have to consume them in our diet. There’s a whole long list of the essential amino acids but for our purpose, we are interested in Arginine and Lysine. We need both of them in our diets in order to live a healthy life and have our bodies function properly. If your going….what’s this got to do with herpes just hang in there a bit longer :-) So what do these two do in the body? Well, arginine improves cardiovascular health, increases blood flow and helps with athletic ability. You will find that there’s a lot of arginine in athletic performance drinks and supplements. Lysine is helpful with growth hormones as well as for athletes and people who are active because it helps the muscles repair and recover. It’s also used for fat digestion, lowering cholesterol, forming collagen and absorbing calcium. Both arginine and lysine are important and we need them in our system. Here’s where lysine and arginine come into play with herpes. The herpes virus needs arginine to breed. Without arginine, it can’t multiply. It’s basically fuel to the fire and it feeds the virus which makes it multiple and thus you get an outbreak. If you have an outbreak and continue to feed it with herpes lighter fluid then guess what happens. You guessed it, it keeps the outbreak active longer and can even cause more lesions. So not a good combo. On the contrary, lysine suffocates the herpes virus. The virus cannot replicate when lysine is present. So when using the lighter fluid analogy it's like a fire extinguisher to the virus.  Lysine and Arginine play a pretty big role in preventing your herpes outbreaks. Now if your thinking, “great I will just eliminate all arginine from my diet and only eat lysine so I never get another outbreak” that's what I thought too. However, this won't work and as I explained earlier, both are essential and we need both arginine and lysine in our diets to live life. But here is what you can do to help fight the herpes fire. You can cut back on the high arginine foods, increase the lysine foods and the pro tip is take daily lysine supplements. By adding a little bit extra lysine to your diet it can help keep the herpes virus dormant or if you get an outbreak lysine will help speed up the healing process and keep it at bay. I use the Pure Encapsulations of I-Lysine, click here to buy. I take 1000mg daily and 3000mg if I have an outbreak. Sometimes when I feel my immune system is low or if I have overindulged in high arginine foods then I will up my does for the day. Give them a try. Also, please remember if you have any questions to consult with your doctor before taking supplements. Make sure your body can handle them and you don't have any cross-reactions. Ok?   Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than  a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Life With Herpes   https://youtu.be/4OhInpaPqJI Welcome to today’s show on life with herpes. As always, I am thrilled to be here with you and spending the time with you.   So, here’s the deal. Yes, you can have sex with someone who has herpes. Or if you have herpes then yes, you can have sex with someone who doesn’t have it. Let me break it down for you and tell you what herpes is and isn’t: Herpes Is:

• A virus that you will have for life
• Contagious even if there is no outbreak present
• Causes blisters and discomfort
• There are two types; HSV1 and HSV2 and both types can go to either your mouth or to your genital region

Herpes Is Not:

• Life-threatening
• Something that will get in the way of your day to day life
• The end of your sex life
• Going to ruin your life (promise)

When you are going to have sex with someone it’s always important to have the conversation about your sexual health. This protects you as well as your partner. If you have herpes then it is important to let your partner know. Just do it. Put it out there. Tell them you have herpes before sleeping together. The last thing you want to happen is have it come back and bite you in the ass. Once this is all out on the table then talk to your partner about the appropriate methods to protect each other. I have an episode all about ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner on episodes 84 and 82.  The long story short is herpes doesn’t ruin your life or your sex life. Because you now need to communicate and add the trust factor in there it most likely will add to a deeper connection and even a better sex life. Just say’n. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than  a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Revie

6 Ways To Handle It    https://youtu.be/UwBdPAWRvFU Life With Herpes Nobody likes rejection. In fact, I believe that rejection is what holds most of us back from reaching for the stars, following our dreams, quitting that job, asking that hottie out, being who you are and absolutely loving who you are. I would never want to repeat those jr. high days of wondering if all of a sudden you are not going to be asked to sit at the cool kid table. Or if you missed the memo that everyone was supposed to wear a ponytail and you decided to wear your hair down. I still think the rejection in the 6th grade is way worse than the rejection of herpes but I can see where they come in close to the finish line. Lol.  Did you ever have that hard of a time in the 6th grade? Anyway, back to today and dealing with the fear of having herpes. The fear is the perception that someone will judge you or miss treat you or reject you because you have herpes. Well, I say let them. The truth is EVERYONE is being judged and as hard is it is to admit it, you are judging people too. Maybe you use this as an opportunity to self reflect...just saying. But back to herpes and rejection, I understand it hurts, I understand that it is F*%king scary and at the end of the day all we want is to be loved unconditionally and be happy. Here are 5 ways you can handle the rejection: 1. You Can’t Predict The Outcome  You are only in control of your feelings and thoughts you can not be in control of others. 2. Rejection Happens Regardless Of Having Herpes Really herpes has nothing to do with it. Rejection is a part of life. We like to use the fact that we have herpes as a scapegoat but it 3. Divine Intervention Maybe this is God’s way (aka the universe or whatever you believe in) way of weeding out the bad and making you available for the right one. 4. Feel Your Emotions Once the rejection happens let yourself feel the rejection. Look at what other emotions come up. Maybe anger? Maybe sadness? Maybe resentment? Maybe you feel like a victim. Regardless feel your emotions. By ignoring them it will only make matters worse and the feelings will continue to fester and eventually they explode. 5. Give Yourself A Pat On The Back  Realize that you stepped out of your comfort zone and took a chance. Hey, it’s better than sitting on the sofa crying and feeling bad for yourself. 6. Ask yourself, What did I learn? You always will learn something and there is always a lesson. Yes, sometimes it’s positive and sometimes it’s negative but regardless you learned from putting yourself out there. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than  a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/yWftZLoyfJw   I get it, you were either just diagnosed with having herpes and you feel like your whole world is up in the air or you just broke up and now you are back in the dating game. Regardless, it is scary and now adding herpes to the dating game is a whole new animal.   I can remember when I was first on the market after finding out about my diagnosis. I already had herpes for about 2 years before I had broken up with my ex and decided to get out there. All of the emotions ran through my head; will someone love me, Will someone even want to touch me, will I give it to someone, maybe he will have it too, how do I even begin to disclose. Sound normal?   What I realized is we put so much emphasis on herpes. I decided to take herpes out of the equation and go for it. At the end of the day what is the worst that can happen? They say that they are really not into you and you move on. I can remember I had a family friend tell me, “Alexandra dating is like the city bus, there is always another one on its way.” Its funny but if you think about it it’s kind of true.  When I look back at my dating days and deciding to date with herpes here’s what I learned… 1. What is it you want?

Really look at yourself and answer this question. Think to yourself, am I looking for a long-term relationship or is it something casual or maybe I really don’t want to date at all I am just filling a void. Have a clear idea of what you are after and what you want in return. Knowing ahead of time can even make it easier to “have the talk”.

2. Talking about sex is already scary, now you have to add that you have herpes to the talk.

Naturally, when the word sex is used we all turn into little kids. We giggle,  laugh, get shy, raise our eyebrows, or even feel shameful for talking about it. Sex especially herpes is not something we were educated in to have a productive, adult like, or normal talk. Even if you did not have to disclose you have herpes, having the sex talk would either never happen or it would be really uncomfortable.

3. You don’t have to have sex to date.

Maybe this is an ah-ha moment. A lot of times when we use the word “dating” we assume that sex is involved. Well, there is no reason why sex has to be involved unless in case you want it to. I dated many many many men and never slept with them. Therefore, I never had to disclose to them that I had herpes.  It was kind of a breath of fresh air to go on dates and meet different guys and learn what I liked or didn't like. The beauty was I got to have fun without having to disclose my little secret or even let the sex complicate it.

4. It’s up to you to decide when you want to disclose and yes you have to tell them!

Some people disclose asap and some disclose months down the road, it’s totally up to you and every personality is different. If you really don’t give a F*%k  about the outcome then you will most likely tell them early and get that out of the way. Or sometimes people just want to lay it all out on the table to weed out prospects. Other’s want to take there time and see if they really like them and see if they want to do with the relationship. It’s totally up to you and there is no time limit on when you have to tell them. However, you do have to tell them if you are going to expose them to it. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level then yes, you absolutely need to tell them.

5. It’s 100% up to you to decide when you want to have sex. 

Similar to it’s up to you when you want to tell them and up to you if you want to sleep with them but most importantly it’s up to you to decide when. There is no set time frame for when you should be sleeping together. Forget the old “3 date rule” or we have to say the “I love you’s.” None of this matters. You and your partner can decide when the relationship can go to the next level. There is no reason to feel pressured and if you do then perhaps you need to reassess the relationship.

6. Understand your worth.

Don’t settle for any reason but especially because you have herpes. Herpes has zero reason for you to lower your standards, desires or dreams. DOn’t let someone tell you otherwise or make you feel less of a person because you have herpes. You are in no way a second-class citizen.  

7. Just because you have herpes does not mean your partner will get it too.

The good news is that just because you have herpes doesn’t mean your partner will get it. There are other episodes (082 & 084) on this if you want to dive deeper but by communicating and using precautionary methods you can really lower the risk of transmitting it. When using condoms and antivirals you can really cut down the chance of transmission. So make sure you let your partner know that it is not a for sure thing but they need to be aware of the risk.

If you are wanting to learn more about dating with herpes join Alexandra and the rest of the Life With Herpes crew for our 2 x a week live group coaching. We cover this and much more every week. To learn more click here. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800 Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than  a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/AMdOwNLTaxQ Your Fairy Godmama has got your back... Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. One of the most common topics people ask me about is dating, and I could think of no better person to share with you than Jenn Burton. Jenn’s business is called Have Him Your Way - and it’s based on her life story of dating, relationships and marriages. She always tried to be who she thought the man wanted her to be. One day she woke up and said no more. Hear what happened next and much more on this episode of Life With Herpes! Jenn is the first to tell you she used to be a hot mess. She was the queen of how to lose a guy in 10 days. While separated during her first marriage she came to the realization that the entire relationship was based on him: it was about what he wanted, when he wanted it. That night she was on her knees sobbing asking for a sign, which came along three days later when a man asked if he could take her out on a “real date”. Everything changed from there. She went from being the woman trying to figure out the man to being the woman who liked men but was going to focus on herself. It was then that men started crawling out of the woodwork. Her dating life became magical and fun - all because she began to put herself first and interact with men differently. On this episode I also asked Jenn a question I hear often: what should you do if you invest time in dating someone only to have them reject you when you tell them you have herpes? Jenn says just as in life there are no guarantees in dating. One of the things she has found important is to stand for yourself, explore your romantic options and disclose when you are ready to disclose. If the person you have been dating can't handle it then that person is not meant for you, someone else is meant for you. Don’t live your life playing small romantically because you have a virus. And doing something called mantourage dating can also help. Mantourage dating is dating more than one man at a time till you meet your forever man, or indefinitely if you so choose. When she left her marriage in 2006 she did exactly this. She decided she was going to throw out all the dating rules, and instead she would explore herself romantically and explore men in a different way. Instead of trying to get to the destination of a committed relationship and marriage she was going to enjoy the moment and enjoy the journey. Mantourage dating doesn't mean you have to sleep with multiple men - it's merely the act of going out on dates with men. Remember these are actual dates, not just hanging out. Be sure to clarify his romantic intentions so there are no mixed signals, and playfully let him know what you want too. Today we also talk about how to know when you should tell the person you are dating you have herpes, and why masturbation is something women should do more. Our last few minutes of the show are all about you: we answer your questions including whether or not there's ever a good time for an ultimatum! Hear all of that and more this episode of Life With Herpes.   Don’t Miss Jenn’s Gift For Our Life With Herpes Community: Jenn Burton’s gift for you   Ways To Connect With Jenn

• Jenn Burton’s Website
• Jenn Burton on Twitter
• Have Him Your Way on Facebook
• Jenn Burton on YouTube
• Jenn Burton on Instagram
• Jenn Burton on LinkedIn
• Single Smart Female podcast

3 Way's I Can Help

1. Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup
2. Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
3. Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800

Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast   www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review