Life With Herpes

https://youtu.be/sR4YnaVuIFw

Ok let’s get right to it. When we get outbreaks we want them gone ASAP!

Why? Because they hurt...duh and they bring up all of the bad stuff that we’ve either not processed or that we’ve forgotten about. Outbreaks are time that we go back and remember that ex or get mad at ourselves for that one night stand and they create anxiety and even depression.

So the faster we can get the outbreak heald then we can get back to our normal beautiful life and not thinking about our ex.

To answer vaguely…it depends. Now hold on a sec while I explain.

It’s going to vary based on how long you’ve had herpes, your lifestyle and if you were able to treat the virus at the first onset of the outbreak.

Let me break it down. If it’s your first outbreak, firstly I’m sorry. Secondly, you need to know that this will be the worst outbreak. Your body is in utter disarray and is under attack by the HSV virus. This outbreak will last about 2 weeks and could lagger on for a few more days. Usually when it’s your first time you don’t get your antiviral in your system until a couple of days into the outbreak so then it takes longer to heal. Also, because you probably didn’t know it was herpes you didn't apply anything to the area to help it heal up. Thinks like d’leonte or coconut oil etc. Expect this outbreak to be your longest and your most uncomfortable.  

Back to that lifestyle thing… there’s a couple of lifestyle choices that play a huge role.  

Lifestyle plays a role on way more than we want it to. So of course lifestyle is going to play a role on our herpes outbreaks and the length of your outbreaks. What we tend to forget about is when we have outbreaks we’re actually sick. Now unlike getting the flu or a cold they pretty much force you to stay home and stay in bed getting a herpes outbreak doesn’t give us a stuffy nose or really change our day. However what we forget about is our body and the immune system is on overdrive to keep you from getting something else. In other words when we have an outbreak and we go out to the bars with a 2:00 am burrito or hit up a spin class or stay up late to get our work done we are doing a huge disservice to ourselves. When we do these things our outbreak will hang around longer. I mean… why wouldn't it, you just gave it an excuse to have a party in your body. If you take care of your body and yourself then your outbreak will probably last from 4 - 7 days.

Then the final ingredients that will determine how long your outbreak hangs around for will be when you took your pill. If you get the antiviral in your system within the first couple of hours vs. days then your recovery will be greatly improved. The antiviral starts working right away to make the virus dormant in your system. So if you get the antiviral in within hours then a lot of times you can prevent the outbreak from even happening. Otherwise, you can have an outbreak for a couple of days like 2-4.

So the key things to remember when you're having an outbreak are to rest, fuel your body with good foods and take your initial.

If you’re looking for more information on what to eat when you’re having an outbreak to speed up your recovery. Go here. And here’s some of the symptoms you might be feeling with your first outbreak.

xoxo,

Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

One of the biggest reasons why herpes is so dreaded is because it stays with you forever. It’s one of the few things you're guaranteed to take with you when you die. The reason is because it’s a virus.

Now compared to getting chlamydia or ghonorrea or even strep throat these are all bacterial infections, not viruses. So when a person is diagnosed with say chlamydia a doctor will prescribe an antibiotic that will kill the chlamydia living in your body. You or the host is now chlamydia free and the only way to have the infection pop up again would be to become infected with it all over again.

This is very different from viruses. Once a virus is in your body then it’s there forever. So that’s why we can’t get certain diseases twice. Such as the chicken pox virus, so if you’ve had chickenpox before and then become exposed to someone with the chicken pox our immune system already know’s we have it.  

Bacteria and viruses survive differently. The biggest difference is a virus needs a host to survive while bacteria can live on it’s own. Back to what I was saying that when you die your herpes virus will die with you. The virus can only reproduce by finding a host so that’s why herpes is so contagious. The only way this sucker is going to survive is by infecting other people. Unlike bacteria when a virus enters into our body the virus reprograms the cells to infect them thus taking over our body.  They’re some sneaky little suckers. It’s almost like an invasion of your enemy who comes a takes over your entire country and changes the language overnight.

It’s really pretty interesting what all the living organisms have done to survive over the years. Herpes has been with us since we started walking on this planet and it’s not going to go away in our lifetime.

I know that the stigma can really get us down but remember at the end of the day it’s just a skin disease. It’s a living thing that wants to survive too and it’s picked your body to do so.

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/MsOHGQfjvi8

Hi guys! I’m as always excited to be here with you. Today I’ve discovered a great solution for us!!! Get ready to get excited!

The moment we think we have herpes we begin to panic. Rember what that’s like? I sure do. We either feel something down there, or feel like the flu is coming on, or worse we see something. The next thing that happens is the “oh $h*t” moment!

We usually know it’s herpes but we’re in total denial. The number one thing we want to do is keep this a secret. We don’t want to go through the embarrassment of people finding out. The fear of embarrassment can even keep us from calling our doctor or the local health clinic to get a proper diagnosis. This fear is so serious that it will stop us in our tracks. This is a huge problem because we need a diagnosis in order to get antiviral!

Or another scenario that happens is when you know somethings not right down there and you need to get in ASAP! I mean you’re in pain and you want answers and a prescription ASAP! Have you ever called your doctors’ office and had the response of, “oh we can fit you in a week from Wednesday.” WTF!!!??? That’s not going to work either.   

So here’s the deal. Herpalert is an online resource for us to quickly and confidentially connect with a doctor! This is HUGE! And this is super easy because we can do it right from our phone or computer.

Here’s how Herpalert works.  So when you have the oh $h*t moment and think you have herpes the fastest way to get a diagnosis and your prescription filled is to head over to herpalert.com. Oh, and our community get’s a sweet discount on the service so use the promo code: lifewithherpes.  In the video, I walk you through step by step on filling out the online application. Seriously, it takes like 2 minutes. Way easier than heading down to your general practitioner.

If you’re diagnosed with herpes it's very important that you get on the antiviral ASAP. The sooner you get the medicine in your body the sooner you’ll start feeling better. I can very vividly remember how bad I felt when I was diagnosed and as soon as I got the antiviral in my system I could start feeling the infection healing. Herpalert allows you to upload your photo of your outbreak and if you’re diagnosed with herpes then fill your prescription and it’ll be at your pharmacy within an hour. Pretty cool, right?

Just to give you another rundown about how streamlined Herpalert is here's how it works. You head to the website, fill out your signs and symptoms, pick your pharmacy, upload your photo, pay at the checkout and then you receive secure information regarding your diagnosis from one of the Herpalert doctors. And boom...your prescription is at your pharmacy of choice and ready for you. This cuts out the embarrassment of sitting at the doctors' office or waiting for your appointment a week from Wednesday.

On a personal note, the reason why I love Herpalert as a resource for our Life With Herpes community is they are aligned with our mission. In fact, it's the same focus, Herpalert wants to break the herpes stigma too. They are dedicated to removing the stigma and lessening outbreaks so that you and I can get back to our normal lives. They believe and so do I that there’s no reason to suffer or be in pain. The antiviral can lessen the outbreak from three weeks to just a matter of days. I mean, why would you want to sit in pain for three weeks?

Ok so watch the video to learn more about Herpalert. If you’re ready to make your appointment go here and make sure you use the promo code: lifewithherpes to receive a discount on your appointment.

Big Hugs,

Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/bBo4P5Yywj4

We have no problem talking about what’s going on in our lives or what we want for dinner but when it comes to talking about sex we all act like little kids that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Basically, we freeze and run away.

Sound familiar?

Be honest… have you always had “the talk” before getting naked with someone?

Right. That’s what I thought. And why?

Because we don’t know how to have the talk. The sex talk is something that old people do or something that kills the vibe or something that isn’t necessary because you’d never sleep with someone who has anything.

That’s all bull sh*t and you know it. It truly boils down to we’re not educated on how to have this conversation. Also, we think that if we have the convo then the person won’t like us or they will think we’re too much work to get into bed.

This is your health and you’re life we’re talking about! You have one body and it’s only your body. Love it! Respect it! And talk about it!

We can’t go back on the past. Or look at past relationship and say I shoulda coulda or woulda, but what we can do is get good at this uncomfortable conversation for our future lovers and romp sessions.

Never ever be afraid to ask someone about their sexual health. Jumping into bed with someone whether you’ve known them for years or you just met tonight at the bar it’s your responsibility to talk about safe sex. It’d be like jumping into a car with a drunk driver or diving into the pool with no water on it. I know this sounds extream but it is!

Here’s what you need to ask...

Lead with questions like; Hey have you been tested for STD’s? This is a good icebreaker to get the convo started.

There will be 3 responses either; they will say oh yea and I was good,  or the yes and I’ve had an STD. Or there’s the occasional nah… I’d never sleep with anyone who has anything. BTW… that last one is a huge red flag!!!

Again, this part sounds so over dramatic but back to what I mentioned before...this is your body and your health. I know I already have herpes...I know I don’t want anything else. Herpes was my wake up call so let it be yours too. This way you both know going into it.

This can be a super uncomfortable question to ask especially if you want it to be monogamous and you know your partner is out with other people. You can decide how to proceed based on the answer you get or what you both want. My recommendation is if you’re not in a monogamous sexual relationship would be to use condoms, female condoms, and dental dams.  Also get STD tested as often as possible, perhaps monthly. Sleeping with multiple people doesn’t mean you’re going to get an STD but it’s a numbers game so it does increase your chances to do what you can to protect yourself and your partner.

Links:

In case you needed a link to Planned Parenthood here it is. 

Also...come join out Secret Society

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/tqvPMnvN3Xs

Ok, so I get asked time and time again about my relationship with my husband, Bill. People ask me if we practice safe sex, if we even have sex,  people ask if he has herpes and also people ask what's going through Bill's mind about me having herpes.  Well in this episode we share the nitty-gritty and Bill opens up about what's on his mind when we have sex. It's a pretty fun and personal video.

xoxox,

Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/wTmCWWzMLyE

Let’s talk about sex! The hookup culture has become a pretty controversial cultural topic amongst college kids, psychologist, and the baby boomers worrying about their kids in this sexual revolution. Some main points that are brought up are, safe sex, self-worth, mental health, is the love dead and basically a lack of understanding of what hooking up really is. It gets brought to my attention almost on a daily basis by members of our Life With Herpes community so I thought it would be important for us to discuss this.

The number one question I’m asked is,  “how will I ever have sex again in this hookup culture now that I have herpes”. I’m also asked things like, “will I ever hook up again because I have herpes”. Members have expressed that they are jealous of their friends who don’t have herpes and they can just hook up with whoever they like. The herpes stigma mixed with the hookup culture is really cooking up some serious emotions.

In the last decade, the media has played a roll in promoting the hookup culture. There were reality TV shows that popularized one night stands as well as movies titles “The Hook Up” or “No Strings Attached”. Basically, the media portrayed this unbelievable sex life with no strings, commitment or romance. Thus a decade later we are in the multiple partners, noncommitment sex and the scariest thing of all...we’re still not having safe sex.

Stay with me for a second while I compare hookups and extream mounting climbing. Basically, you need to be prepared, both mentally and physically. Let’s say you make the decision to hike Mount Kilimanjaro, its 19,000-foot mountain and this is not your stroll down the local community hiking trail. This requires training, it requires survival knowledge, it requires understanding the elements, it requires proper gear and the list can go on and on. But most importantly it requires the hikers to be mentally prepared for what can go wrong. These people are ready for the Mount Kilimanjaro hike. Can you imagine if the hikers woke up one day and decide to go hike it unprepared, unclothed, not nourished, without communication and most importantly without a plan?  I can fast forward this for you...it’s not going to go well.

The way the hookup culture is now is like deciding to go for a little neighborhood stroll when it should be like preparing for hiking Mount Kilimanjaro. We are not properly educated in sex, we don’t communicate anything to our partner about needs, safety or even a phone number for that matter. As a whole, we forget that sex is the most powerful thing two people can do. I mean that. It’s the most powerful thing two people can do because it creates life. Having unsafe sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy, STI’s, obviously herpes, and not to mention the emotional drama that goes with it.

I’m not saying hookups are bad. What I’m saying is you need to make sure you’re 100% in and ready for all outcomes and that includes herpes, other STI’s and pregnancy. Oh and not to mention a potential stage 5 clinger...lol

Now I can’t help you with the mental portion of hooking up and avoiding regret but what I can help you with is the safe sex. Here’s what you need to do.

1. Before having sex talk about your sexual health. I know this sounds hard to do at a bar with the DJ blasting your favorite song but it needs to happen. It’s your due diligence to disclose that you have herpes. Yes, it’s possible that he or she may no longer want to jump in bed with you but hey let’s face it…its a stranger and you’ll never see them again.
2. Use protection. Use it the entire time, every time and correctly. I hear of so many people saying oh we didn't have a condom or we ran out or it fell off so we just said “f” it. If it falls off go get another one. If you don’t have a condom then don't do it. ******carry own condoms
3. Get tested and get tested often. This is really key and typically we go with the idea of no news is good news or if I don’t know then I can’t worry. It’s your health and your life that we’re talking about. If you had chest pains you’d go get a chest x-ray because you wouldn’t want to have a heart attack. Why is it that if there’s a blister or it hurts to go pee that we just ignore it. If you have multiple partners or your partner has multiple partners then get tested often. As awkward as it is just do it. ****get tested for other STI’s

I’m extremely adamant about safe sex because we are talking about your life, your health, and your future. Herpes is just a skin disease.  That’s it. There are so many other STI’s you can catch that can really change your life.

I’m not saying not to hookup. Trust me I get it. What I want you to be is  100% ready and sure you’re in charge of this and you’ve got it covered.

Join the LWH community -  https://lifewithherpes.com/free-membership-registration/

Safe Sex Package - http://bit.ly/LWHessentials

Get tested… go here for planned parenthood locations

Xoxo,

Alexandra Harbushka

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

This episode is all about our story from dating, to falling in love and getting married. And of course, there's that little thing called herpes. We wanted to share our journey so that you can use it as a reference for your relationship. Bill talks about what it's like to be married to someone with herpes and what our journey is like.

We share all our secrets and talk everything from sex to life and friendship.

This is pretty personal so I hope you enjoy. Remember, herpes can only control your life if you let it win.

xoxo,

Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review

https://youtu.be/pY1FZp87Wss

Today we’re going to talk about something fun. We’re going to talk about Lube!!!! When we hear about out herpes diagnosis we immediately go into the mindset that we’ll never have a sex life again or that sex can’t be a positive thing in our life.

Herpes will only have an impact on your life and sex life if you let it. So let’s not let it!

Sound good?

Lube’s an important part about sex and we spend so much time talking about ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner I decided we need to put that aside and have some fun. Not that safe sex isn’t important because there really is nothing sexier than safe sex.

Let’s break it down…

There ’s four types of lube; water-based lube, oil-based lube, silicone based lube and there are lubes that contain spermicide or nonoxynol 9. At the end of the day they pretty much all lead to the same result...more lube during a romp session but they can have an impact on your body and potentially your herpes outbreak.

Let’s talk about water based lubes and silicone based lube. You will only want to use either water-based lube or silicone lubes if you are using a condom. Which, I highly recommend using condoms for preventing the transmission of herpes, any other potential STI’s and of course pregnancy. It’s super important you don't mix an oil-based lube with condoms. The oil actually can eat away at the latex causing the condom to break or put some little holes in it. Clearly...not the outcome we want. Picking a water-based or a silicon-based will be personal preference and of course it’s important to see which ones have less chemicals.

Then next I want to cover is spermicide lube is a form of birth control because it slows the sperm down. It’s almost like they were tasered and now it’s hard for them to swim to the egg. The reasons why I don’t recommend this for people with herpes is because the ingredient in the spermicide that makes it a spermicide is nonoxynol 9 and that can cause some irritant to our genital tissues, especially if you're having sex daily or multiple times a day. It can potentially inflame the area and case some little tares that can put both people at more risk or transmitting herpes and potentially other STI’s. And as we all know, we don’t want to irritate our genital area because irritation can cause an outbreak. None of these combinations sound ideal for our lifestyle.

Oil based lube is thought to be the most natural and it usually is the best for you and your partner. Remeber...please don’t use oil based if you are using condoms. Oil based lube feels the most natural and usually last longer. And the other good news about oil based lube is its usually chemical free and better for your skin.

Here is a list of my favorite lubes to use…

This is a water-based organic lube so this is great for you and your partner if you’re using condoms. It’s made with organic aloe vera which is great to nourish your skin while having fun in the sack. Also, it’s the right PH balance for a woman so it will lessen the chance of a yeast infection or the dreaded bacterial vaginosis a.k.a. the tuna fish smelling vagina.

This is an oil-based lube so not to be used with condoms. This is great for masturbation or to be used without condoms. Woo More Play is great for herpes and here’s how it helps. Its key ingredients are coconut oil, vanilla, beeswax, and stevia. All are organic, natural and they have awesome benefits that fight inflammation, free radicals, kills germs, boosts your immune system and other great stuff. Yes, I’ve even been known to put lube on my outbreak. Try it! And let’s be serious it's always great to have some lube on hand. Just put a little dibby dab on a q-tip and rub it on your sore. It helps...promise.

Ok so go out have fun. Yes, you can still have a sex life with genital herpes. Remember, talk to your partner about safe sex and having herpes and then decide what lube works best for your lifestyle.

Xoxo,
Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are to

https://youtu.be/MBjBkp-Vdlk

Well yes, they can be funny but they’ve gone too far. It also is a time for us to reflect and think that there’re times when we say a funny joke or comment it can be offending someone even though it was never our intention.

We can use this as a time to reflect.

But back to the degrading herpes jokes throughout the media or from our social groups. They can make us, people living with herpes, feel uncomfortable and even worse, like scum. We’ve all laughed at them before we had herpes. Right? I mean, #guilty. But now that we are the brunt of the joke it’s not funny and even infuriating.

Here are some ways you can put the flame out without advertising that you have herpes.

1. Consider who you are talking to and what the consequences are. So, in other words, is this a boss, is this a group of peers, are they complete strangers. The differed settings will have different consequences and of course, will require you to change your tone or ammo.
2. Don't assume - the person may not have meant it in an offensive way. Or they may not have even put any thought about it. We’ve all said that “oops did I just say that” comment and it truly came out wrong. This could have been the situation. As the old saying goes, ASSUME makes an Ass Out of  You and Me! Ask questions to go deeper.
3. Don't fire back with fire - comments like you’re an asshole or that was a dush thing to say is not the right way to approach it. In other words be careful about calling people out until you know the story.  If you lead with fire you’re going to get fire, it’s a simple law of physics. Every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction.
4. Explain how you feel about the comment. If you don’t speak up then you’re saying without saying it’s ok for you to make fun or say degrading comments. Use the words “I feel” because nobody can criticize your feelings. People can criticize you with “I didn’t like it” or “ you’re wrong for saying that” or “what a jerk” that’s tee-ball for someone to just lay into you. If you talk about your feeling nobody can argue with how you fee.
5. Ask questions about it - Ask the person why they thought it was funny or why they thought it was a good idea to say those things. This way it’s a way to remove the “assume” and start understanding where they are coming from. You never know when you’re going to get with asking questions. Oh and. “I don’t know” isn’t an answer so keep digging for an answer.
6. Educate them - So in this particular situation with herpes, it would be great to let them know that 2 out of 3 people have HSV 1 and 1 out of six have HSV 2 so looking at it statistically you probably offended the majority of the room with your joke. You can use facts to educate and break the stigma. Letting them know that herpes is a stigma and all it is a little skin disease.

By integrating these steps into your life for conflict resolution you’ll begin to see uncomfortable situations as an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and grow. These are great tips for really any uncomfortable situation, joke or disagreement. You can be a fighter without offending other or telling the world that you have herpes.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you. Let me know.

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/

Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit

Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/

www.lifewithherpes.com

www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast  

www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes

If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.

If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.

Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here

Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU!   Subscribe, Rate and Review