i crashed out on the internet. my alt title was “crash course on crashing out.” boundaries SUCK. guilt is a sign that you’re growing. “idc what people think” is sexy until your nervous system gets involved. teach people how to treat you. did she just say “waft your own farts???” the algorithm favors chaos. art and boundaries. growth and relatability. success and mental health. insert more shiny words here**** i can’t be everything to everyone all the time. i also can’t tell time. idk, I went to a liberal arts college.
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if im not working, am I even worth anything? productivity is my toxic trait. well…1 of many. we’re addicted to achievement over growth. we identify with our careers rather than who we are as people. if we stop defining ourselves by achievement, what are we left with? do we even like that person? f*ck I think im turning into my mother. ratatouille is the greatest movie of all time. do celebrities get diarrhea? because remember, at the end of the day…the days gotta end.
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i literally had a panic attack before filming this episode. i got dumped in a club by my “friends.” i think they blackballed me from hollywood? lol jk... not rlly jk?? la chewed me up and spit me out. friendships can be a joke. save every single screenshot and back it up to the cloud!!!! ugh!!! it’s a dog eat dog world and I don’t want to eat any dogs!!! moving to a new place is scary. you’ll never know what you want but you can figure out what you don’t want and that’s just as important. date different friends. don’t let the world harden you. accept that ppl WILL f*ck you over. pick yourself up. and start again. you’re not alone ❤️
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a reformed coachella hater goes to coachella and lives to tell the story. the internet is weird. not everything needs to be a “story time” (unless you have a podcast obvi lol). the one & only time I did dr*gs and thought I was dying. I can’t believe I’m telling this story. I’m sorry mom, it’ll never happen again!

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live footage of me absolutely crashing out. 4 trips from hell. can’t make this sh*t up guys. my nipple fell off. me & sutton stracke were going through it. we filmed the 6th hunger games movie on my flight. shot of vodka and a couple almonds?? lost dog? found dog? murderer in the neighborhood? he ran off a plane with $65. is someone breaking into my hotel room??? can someone get this f*cking piece of hair off my face omg. i had an allergic reaction in the middle of the ocean. 10 toddlers or 10 john cenas? i laugh so I don’t cry.

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a reformed hater’s guide to not being a hater. you’re a hater and you don’t even know it. if you just said “no I’m not,” ur lying. it’s ok queen don’t worry. we hate so much we don’t even realize it. we hate cuz we’re insecure. we hate because society tells us to??? literally ewww bye society!!! hating is robbing you….of happiness…of opportunities…of being a sexy a$$ b*tch. i have a wedgie lol. nobody gives a f*ck about your ‘eras.’ do you have a seat at the success table? zendaya is hot. my ex sucks. not being a jealous b*tch changed my life. listen to this one, ok? promise me.

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you’ve been lied to. ur goals are holding you back. ur manifesting all wrong. and for a one-time fee of $29.99, I’ll give you all the answers. kidding, guys this is literally free lol. maya angelou was in my home. i hate cheerleaders. f*ck the girl next door. i wasted 10 years of my life. swimming against stream is exhausting. be dogmatic about ur morals & virtues & throw everything else out the f*cking window.

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i’m toxic and scared sh*tless. life is a f*cking joke. confidence isn’t real. you’ve been lied to. my brain is a scary place. turns out I mask all my problems with humor and now I need to figure out how to face them?? ew kinda annoying??? oh & I did write this bio because remember, I’m a workaholic.

see you on Thursdays hahahhahhaha

i promised you the socials would be somewhere in this bio so here they are, leave me alone about it!!!!

Follow the show on IG: @lifesajoke_Pod

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To watch the Life’s a Joke podcast on YouTube go to: http://www.youtube.com/@LIFESAJOKE_POD 

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Sometimes you laugh at life and sometimes life laughs at you. Christina Kirkman is just trying to get to the punchline before she dies. *Cue laugh track.* 

See you on Thursdays, hahahahaa ok whatever

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