Lifewine Podcast

Do those who murder together, stay together? In THE PERFECT MARRIAGE (2006), starring Jamie Luner, William R. Moses, and James Wilder, we meet a woman whose love for her partner(s) is outmatched only by her love of ill-gotten gains. Stephanie hasn’t slept, Rachel takes over as “the clumsy one” on the show, and Zach’s brain chemistry is filling him with a rage that’s even more blinding than usual. Our union may not be perfect, but we vow to love, honor, and make you laugh!   

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Just when you thought it was safe to listen to Lifewine…We’re kicking off the start of summer with DEEP BLUE NIGHTMARE (2020) - aka SHARK SEASON - starring Paige McGarvin, Juliana Destefano, and Michael Madsen. This film is a treasure, complete with CGI blood, incompetent military forces, and a kinder, gentler Mr. Blonde. We lose all the last name contests and learn that strokes can be contagious, but it’s certainly better than stepping foot in the terrifying abyss that is the ocean!   

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What’s worse than one Rachel? MULTIPLE RACHELS! Join your hosts as they dissect THE RACHELS (2017), starring Caitlin Carver, Daniela Bobadilla, and Madison Iseman. Is it a darkly comical satire? Or does it fall into the same trope-y trench as so many other Lifetime movies? Also: Are there certain foods you avoid because they resemble human genitalia? We here at Lifewine are unequivocally here for you!   

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This week, we mark an episode milestone with a film we’d anticipated to be sultry, erotic, and provocative: TEMPTED (2003), starring Virginia Madsen and Jason Momoa. We lose the paralegal account, but we DO get the go-ahead on “the project”! We also witness what is most certainly the demise of Stephanie’s sanity.  

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This year for Mother’s Day, why don’t you give her the gift of REVENGE? In YOU KILLED MY MOTHER (2017), starring Carlena Britch, Ashley Jones, and Seamus Patterson, we meet a bad a** b**** whose goal is to dispense payback to those who failed to save her dying mother. We also make our case for who should be the new Jeopardy host, reminisce about the Scholastic Book Fair, and nearly enter a state of acute trope toxicity. Don’t miss this MOM-unmental episode!   

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Dust off that sticky mat and grab your favorite chakras as we dive downward dog into PSYCHO YOGA INSTRUCTOR (2020), starring Ashley Wood Garcia, Brady Smith, and Panos Vlahos. Let the Lifewine trinity guide you into a state of laughter-riddled zen; find your balance in the clumsiness of Stephanie, your strength in the weakness of Rachel’s car, and your flexibility in Zach’s paralyzing case of comedy blue balls. Yoganna love this one!   

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This week, we dive into the wild world of secret twins and astral projection as we discuss STRANGER WITH MY FACE (2009), starring Alexz Johnson, Andrew Francis, and Catherine Hicks. We also wonder why Stephanie isn’t a serial killer, Rachel begs you to please turn on the damn light, and we get one step closer to finally securing 1-800-PODCASTS. We bet you a boatload of goat dangles that you’ll love this one!  
A note: Stephanie the Bonehead f*cks up the name of our Patreon page in this episode! Please note that the correct link is patreon.com/lifewinepodcast

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This week, on a very importANT Lifewine, we review DESTINATION: INFESTATION (2007), starring Jessalyn Gilsig and Antonio Sabato Jr. Think Snakes on a Plane, but instead of snakes, it’s a highly intelligent and deadly species of ant who loves to reproduce quickly while chewing through everything and everyone they can. Also: We discuss clone sex ethics, Rachel declares war on Taco Bell, and what’s up with people naming babies “Gary”? 

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Many of us remember Lorena Bobbitt as tabloid fodder from the early 90’s; a “hot-blooded Latina” who violently severed her husband’s penis and threw it out the window of a moving car. But what the media did NOT clearly expose was the history of abuse, control, and gaslighting that Lorena suffered from her spouse. In I WAS LORENA BOBBITT (2020), starring Dani Montalvo, Luke Humphrey, and Lorena herself as narrator, we learn the truth about what led up to that fateful night.  We also relive the 1990’s, play F/M/K with the Colins, and get molested by a listener’s disturbing fish knowledge.   
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or at https://www.thehotline.org/.    

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This week, we discuss a movie that is very special in regard to the Lifewine origin story…or shall we say, we ATTEMPT to discuss it. In our most colossal train wreck yet, we take a stab at reviewing TEMPTING FATE (2019), starring Alyssa Milano, Zane Holtz, and Steve Kazee; fate, however, apparently had other plans for us! We valiantly battle the technology gods, consider selling our souls to the devil, and do our part to make our little corner of purgatory a little more cheerful. It’s the episode of a thousand false starts and a million laughs! 

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