Lifewine Podcast

Here’s a bite-sized morsel of Lifewine to hold you over ‘til Winesday! Stephanie and Rachel take a quick jaunt across the pond to visit HARRY & MEGHAN: A ROYAL ROMANCE (2018), starring Parisa Fitz-Henley and Murray Fraser. We discuss how truly shocking it is to learn that a family with a history of slave trade and mistreatment of indigenous peoples could also be racist, as well as what the next royal family scandal may be!  

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We admit it; sometimes we go off the rails. And every once in a while, there are no rails to begin with! In SLEEPWALKING IN SUBURBIA (2017), starring Emilie Ullerup, Giles Panton, and Carlo Marks, we learn that we’ve all had different experiences with “The Penis Game”, contemplate the results of mixing dictator DNA and martial artist DNA (on the moon, of course), and discuss the surprising downside of drinking sulphuric acid. Oh, and we eventually talk about the movie at some point. This is what happens when you try to be custard but end up as eggnog!   

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This week, we journey back to a simpler time: when one could wear enormous shoulder pads without fear of ridicule, wet t-shirt contests were on every corner, and escaping from maximum-security prison was a breeze. In CALENDAR GIRL, COP, KILLER? THE BAMBI BEMBENEK STORY - aka The Heart of the Lie - (1992), starring Lindsay Frost, Timothy Busfield, and Linda Blair, we discuss the true story of a woman who paid the price for fighting against the patriarchy. We also learn what we look like through the eyes of a very talented (and possibly disturbed) listener, ponder the antipode of Hong Kong, and eschew responsibility for anything that is said on the show (even by ourselves). Remember your punctuation, because no one wants to eat grandma! 

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If revenge is a dish best served cold, then how delicious must it be after 25 years on ice? In BLACK WIDOW KILLER (2018), starring Erin Karpluk, Morgan Kohan, and Ryan Robbins, we learn that vengeance is patient cook with a recipe for retribution. We also reenact a kidnapping scenario just to prove that you don’t need to keep the bait alive. You may not yet think we’re the “doll’s butt” of podcasts, but we guarantee that the more you listen, the less annoying we are!  

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We’ve all done things we regret, but what about the errors that could have been? This week, we meet a woman who comes close to paying dearly for nearly making what could have been the biggest mistake of her life in I ALMOST MARRIED A SERIAL KILLER (2019), starring Krista Allen, Zoë Lillian, and Louis Mandylor. Put on your finest fast casual wear as we explore the weird wild world of temporary witness relocation, animal cloning, and diphallia (Do NOT look that up! Don't say we didn't warn you...) 

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The powerhouse of podcasts is coming to you from deep within the Texas polar vortex! We’ve filled our bathtubs with water and are hoping the power grid holds long enough for us to finish recording. This week, we discuss WHITNEY (2015), starring Yaya DaCosta and Arlen Escarpeta. Directed by the devastatingly talented Angela Bassett, this biopic portrays Whitney Houston’s rise to fame as she navigates her stormy relationship with Bobby Brown. We also consider what our collective price would be for a three-way (join our Patreon!), as well as discuss a real life incel who thinks stalking is romantic (THERE’S your movie!). This snowpocalypse may be no guffawing matter, but luckily there is an endless supply of Lifewine at the funny grocery store!   
 

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You’ve probably been thinking to yourself, “How has Lifewine gone for nearly 60 episodes without covering a film with ‘Psycho’ in the title?” Well, the wait is over, for this week we bring you PSYCHO STRIPPER (2019), starring Karissa Lee Staples, Tyler Johnson, and Mark Hapka. A bride-to-be discovers she is the suddenly the object of a male exotic dancer’s obsession; is it just a harmless crush? Or is a larger plot unfolding? (Spoiler alert: It’s the latter). Also, a listener comes up with a brilliant idea for a Lifetime movie based on our accidental foretelling of future events. Listen fully clothed or in the full monty, whichever you prefer! 

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It’s the month of romance, so we’re bringing you a story of love, second chances, time travel, and heart attacks! A VALENTINE CAROL (2007), starring Emma Caulfield Ford, Barbara Niven, and John Reardon, is a Dickensian tale of a cold-hearted cynic who must learn the true meaning of love before it’s too late. Scars are hot, Larry King dies for the second time, and we accidentally misplace Nancy Sinatra.  Be our valentine, even if it’s just for this one episode! 

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In honor of Episode 55, the James Franco conceptualized “remake” of MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER?, here’s a Lifewine Rewind! We bring you Episode 7 from February 26th, 2020, where we discuss the 1996 original, starring Tori Spelling, Ivan Sergei, and Lisa Baines. This was the last episode we ever recorded in Zach’s old studio, and it also documents the birth of Zach’s interlude as well as our ever-growing Kevin James conspiracy theory. Rabid pangolins, numerous Kevins, and way too many Billys await you in an episode where the Lifetime crew goes off the rails (to be fair, were we ever really ON the rails to begin with?). 

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Every once in a while, a film remake comes along that dares to defy the characters, storyline, and even fundamental concepts upon which the original was constructed. This week, we encounter a movie that does just that – and then doubles down by adding lesbian vampires. MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER (2016), starring Leila George, Emily Meade, and Tori Spelling, is a puzzling merge of remake and parody that boldly and emphatically fails to achieve either. You’ll find yourself asking: “Was that really necessary?”  
We also play fuck/marry/kill with the three Garys and learn the difference between centaurs, satyrs, and fauns. Plus: everyone has a supernatural goat man story, what’s yours? If you have kids, be sure to put on your earbuds!  
Important note: This was recorded before Larry King died (for the second time, according to Stephanie).      

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