Lifewine Podcast

It’s a story we’re all familiar with: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, girl and boy butt heads, but then they realize it’s because they actually want to bang. The twist? The boy is a ghost who has been held captive by a curse for nearly a century. In THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (2015), starring Jen Lilley and Thomas Beaudoin, we are presented with a unique take on the classic Christmas-themed murder mystery romcom. Don’t worry about the crazy ghost logistics, just enjoy the beauty of our protagonists and imagine the gorgeous ghost-human babies they could make! 
We also hear some crazy stories from our hosts’ pasts, as well as how Stephanie terrified Rachel when they first met. We also set a new record for most failed segues in a single episode. It ghost without saying that this is one boo-tiful episode that is sure to put you in the holiday spirit! 
This movie is available to view on Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Sling TV.  

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Chag Sameach! This week, we review MISTLETOE & MENORAHS (2019), starring Kelley Jakle and Jake Epstein. A young woman obsessed with Christmas must learn all Hanukkah to land that big promotion, so she enlists the help of a Jewish gentleman who also must learn about Christmas to impress his girlfriend’s family. As they learn about each other’s mysterious and oh so random traditions, they also learn a little bit about themselves. 
Rachel also describes one of her more salacious childhood science projects, Stephanie expresses her intense affinity for Jewish men, and Zach keeps us from slipping into the multiverse. Don’t Judea mistletoe this one, yule love it a latke! 
This movie is available to view on the Lifetime Movie Club and Tubi.  

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The holiday season has officially started! What better way to kick it off than with beloved internet celebrity, the late great Tardar Sauce (AKA Grumpy Cat)? We present to you GRUMPY CAT’S WORST CHRISTMAS EVER (2014), starring Tardar Sauce, Aubrey Plaza, and Megan Charpentier. Not only have we discovered the best Lifetime movie ever made, but we’re fairly certain it has spawned some podcast magic within this very episode. 
Rachel also proposes some vestiary legislation, Zach surprises us with his artistic talent, and Stephanie finally brings out the Malört. We aren’t kitten around, missing this episode would be claw-ful! 
This movie is available to view on the Lifetime Club Movie app, Pluto TV, & Amazon Prime.  

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Most of us are familiar with the renowned singer, songwriter, dancer, and all-around popstar icon that is Britney Spears. But what is her origin story? Join us as we discuss a movie that doesn’t even come close to answering that question with BRITNEY EVER AFTER (2017), starring Natasha Bassett, Nathan Keyes, and Peter Benson. Trust us when we say it’s Britney as you’ve never seen her before! 
We also celebrate Rachel’s birthday eve, see Stephanie’s clumsiness reach new levels by defying gravity, and have a chat with a dear friend of the show and certified Britney stan to provide her take on this apparent biopic. Listener warning: We’re not that innocent! 
This movie is available to view on the Lifetime Movie Club app and Amazon Prime.   

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In honor of Zach’s approaching birthday, we’re discussing the oh-so-very-Lifetimey topic of the Manson family. In MANSON’S LOST GIRLS (2016), starring Mackenzie Mauzy, Eden Brolin, and Jeff Ward, we get a glimpse of what it was like on Spahn Ranch in 1969 through the eyes of Linda Kasabian: Psychedelic drugs, carefree orgies, and attempts to spark a race through a series of gruesome murders! We also learn about Ted Danson’s remarkable ancestry, construct the next historical revisionism blockbuster inspired by Charles Manson and Ted Bundy (Tarantino, are you listening?) and hear Zach’s theory on how the Tate-LaBianca murders left an indelible mark on art in America. This is one helter-skelter episode, don’t miss it! 
This movie is available to view on Lifetime Movie Club and Amazon Prime Video.  

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What does kidnapping have to do with ballroom dancing? The answer is: Nothing! However, this week’s movie manages to take all sorts of seemingly disparate concepts and fuse them together for one kooky caper. INSPECTOR MOM: KIDNAPPED IN TEN EASY STEPS (2007), starring Danica McKellar, Drew Waters, and Lar Park-Lincoln, is just the light fare needed after such an excruciating and traumatic year. You may even learn some fractions in the process! 
We also discuss piñatas, our favorite Simpsons quotes, and accidentally create a children’s book concept that may be mistaken for a porno. Additionally: Who is YOUR mustard? And does anyone know what the schizophrenic said to Rachel? It doesn’t matter if you have two left feet because it only takes one step to listen to this episode!  
Note: For reference, this episode was recorded the day before the election.  
This movie is available to view on the Lifetime Movie Club app.  

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This week, on a very special Lifewine, we have a listener request! In RUTHLESS REALTOR (2020), starring Christie Burson, Lily Anne Harrison, and Brian Ames, we meet a couple who finds their dream house. The only catch is, it comes with a nightmare of a realtor! The only thing more insane than this story is the WAY we watched it. We also fix everything that’s wrong with the Supreme Court, expose the hidden truths of Big Kimchi, and attempt to track down THAT ONE phone commercial from the 80’s. This one’s for you, Becca; you’re welcome and we’re sorry. 

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To wrap up this Spooktacular month of unsettling selections, we’ve saved the most gruesome film for last: UNDER THE BED (2012), starring Jonny Weston, Gattlin Griffith, Peter Holden, and Musetta Vander. Get ready for heads to literally roll in this grisly gore fest featuring some of the best acting by a monster we’ve ever seen. We also hear about the extent of Zach’s ferality, Rachel’s recent encounter with law enforcement, and Stephanie’s new goal of building a family with the aid of a retail membership warehouse. You BED-der believe you don’t want to sleep on this one!   
This movie is available to view on Amazon Prime. 

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Adolescence is challenging enough, but what if you had to combat the trials of being a teenager while also transitioning into a zombie? Talk about awkward! Join the Lifewine Trinity as they review this permutation of family drama, accidental murder, and unexpected puberty in ZOMBIE AT 17 (2018), starring Celeste Desjardins, Laurie Fortier, and Seamus Patterson. Plus, Zach tells us about his vacation, we almost get sued by Suddenly Salad, and we revisit the subject of dick bowties. Don’t miss this one, it’s a no-BRAAAAAAAAINER!  
This movie can be viewed on Lifetime Movie Club and Vudu.

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Join your favorite Lifetimeologists as they discuss DEVIL’S DIARY (2007), starring Alexz Johnson and Magda Apanowicz. Final Destination meets Death Note in this supernatural tale of vengeance, possession, and oddly named teenagers. Stephanie is manic, Rachel is suddenly elderly, and Zach isn’t here to keep them on track; you have been warned!  
This movie is available to view on Amazon Prime Video and Lifetime Movie Club. 

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