Light Work by Dear Patriarchy

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Welcome to Episode 18 of Series 2, where we finish our dive into toxic masculinity on a high by having our very first interview with the awesome Alex Shafiro. We talk about his experiences in the corporate world, specifically how his work as a designer in the construction industry has put him in front of very toxic behaviours. We asked how he makes space for women in his workplace, what he feels like toxic male behaviour in the workplace looks like and how he it makes him feel when he runs up against it. Alex gives us his views on, and understanding of, toxic masculinity and we were so grateful to him for his candor, his sense of humor and his patience. We hope you love listening to this conversation as much as we loved having it.

- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 17 of Series 2 where we dive into toxic masculinity: What does it mean? What are its ties with toxic femininity and is that even a thing? The short answer is no, it's not, it's a "men's rights" dog whistle but we digress. We talk about how kind, caring, nurturing little boys grow into unemotional but overly aggressive men and what the signs/markers are for toxic masculinity. We dive into how toxic masculinity affects the corporate workplace and who stands to benefit from this seriously detrimental mindset. This is a deep and nuanced subject so a single episode isn't sufficient to cover it - we'll drop Part 2 next week and we hope it helps you further explore this complicated conversation.

- April 2019 Atlantic interview entitled " Raising Boys With a Broader Definition of Masculinity" with psychologist Michael Reichert about how boys are bombarded by societal expectations.
- Top 10 Toxic Masculinity Behaviors shared on a July 2019 article on Aurora as discussed
- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 16 of Series 2 where we're discussing the reasons behind why huge numbers of people are choosing to leave the workforce. We discuss our personal experience of stepping away from unhealthy work environments and feeling set free because we recognise that we want, and deserve, better for ourselves and our families. We dive into the prevalent issue of people not being paid a living wage, much less a thriving wage, and how that and the impact of COVID-19 on an already faulty infrastructure supporting working parents has resulted in reduced childcare places and higher costs of living all around. We dive into how coming from an empowered place of "I don’t need this job to make my life work" sets you up for a workplace that enhances and supports your work-life balance because you've been made the priority. Don't let the fear of not being enough set you up to fail in the corporate world - you deserve better!

- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 15 of Series 2 where we dive into what it means to be a woman. We talk about why the patriarchal ideas of femininity are both inaccurate and exclusionary, how gender non-conformity is both normal and ancient across global communities and discuss the fundamental misogyny of Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism/Feminists (TERFs). We break down the danger posed to the transgender community by "biology" based anti-trans rhetoric and speak about why thinking of gender on scales instead of a spectrum is more accurate for some. We close out the episode with our core principles: If you identify as a woman, you are one; we will endeavour in every way to create as inclusive a space as possible; we will get things wrong sometimes and though you don't owe us an education, we hugely appreciate when you share your lived experience with us so we can learn from you.

- Find PBS' map of Gender Diverse Cultures here.
- Suzannah Weiss' February 2018 article for Teen Vogue entitled "9 Things People Get Wrong About Being Non-Binary" has been a valuable educational resource for us, we hope you'll read and share it.
- Sam Killerman's piece entitled "Why Think of Gender on Scales Instead of a Spectrum?" has helped us conceptualise gender differently and, we hope, more accurately.
- We used Katelyn Burn's September 2019 article for Vox entitled "TERFs: The Rise of Anti-Trans “Radical” Feminists, Explained" during our discussion about Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists/Feminism, the story of Aimee Stephens' and Ann Hopkins' ground-breaking Supreme Court cases.
- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 14 of Series 2 where we're discussing how to leave a toxic culture or environment. Jenni discusses a recent trip back to where she and Lisa grew up and how, for some people, going back to where you came from can be really difficult. We talk about  "tortilla gate" and other racist incidents connected to our hometown and how dangerous and insidious intolerance is in a closed environment. We discuss how educational travel has been for us and how looping ourselves in to anti-racism and anti-bias culture changers has helped us fundamentally evolve. We go into the difficulty of separating yourself from biased environments, whether they pertain to family, friends or work, and how an overnight change isn't always possible. We close out with a discussion about listening to and nourishing the little voice that leads you and how building a loving, tolerant community can sometimes mean a lack of "hometown" support.

- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 13 of Series 2 where we're discussing fatphobia in the workplace. We talk about the lack of government protection against weight-based discrimination, dive into statistics of how people with larger bodies are viewed and treated in the corporate world and how sexism and racism intersect with this. We discuss the taking back of the word "fat" as a neutral descriptive term and how weight-based discrimination often slips under the radar in a patriarchal society where women are pressured to be as skinny as possible. We close out the episode discussing the impact fatphobia has on people's experiences with the medical community and share the words of Naomi Wolf who says that neither capitalism nor the patriarchy benefit from women who reject the impossible beauty standards of today’s society. We hope you're one of those women.

- Janice Gassam Asare's January 2019 article for Forbes entitled "The Discrimination No One Talks About: Weight Discrimination" for base survey information and legal protections for weight-based discrimination in the workplace
- November 2020 article for Nylon entitled "How Fatphobia Has Cemented Itself in the American Workplace" for base research and statistical information on weight-based discrimination in the workplace
- Angelina R. Sutin, Yannick Stephan and Antonio Terracciano November 2015 report entitled "Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality" for the statistics and medical impact of weight-based discrimination
-  Rebecca Puhl and Kelly D. Brownell's study entitled "Bias, Discrimination, and Obesity" for further research into weight-based discrimination
- Margaret T. Hicken, Hedwig Lee, and Anna K. Hing's March 2017 study entitled "The weight of racism: Vigilance and racial inequalities in weight-related measures" for research and statistics on the intersection of racism and weight-based discrimination
- Check out @fatfabfeminist on Instagram
- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 12 of Series 2 where we're discussing what working women and working mothers need from their partners in order to survive & succeed. We work through 8 key points, starting with acknowledging that all mothers work (whether or not they get paid for it..!) and finishing with the need to show up every day for that partnership. We talk about how hard it is, particularly for women, to ask for what they need in a relationship with society's  heteropatriarchal expectations resting heavily on them and making them question if they're being selfish. We close the episode discussing how we are currently working to bring equality into our partnerships so that our mental load as working mothers is diminished. We hope it helps you too.

- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 11 of Series 2, we start with a brief discussion of important statistics for Black women, women of Colour and women from LGBTQIA+ communities. Due to a technical error, they were not included in last week’s episode, Shecession. Next, we define what gender contamination is, what it means as a marketing term and how it draws from a hetero-patriarchal socio-political system. We dive into specific brand examples of gender contamination (prepare to be angered!) and why its deep foundation in the patriarchy makes it such a powerful tool.

We talk about how this results in the harsh treatment of teenage girls vs. teenage boys and how we as a society view women’s “things” in general. We discuss how this phenomenon translates to the workplace and how many women who do manage to succeed in the corporate environment have had to take on “male” performance characteristics. We close out the episode discussing how gender contamination harms men as well as women and lay out some integral touchpoints for being an ally/accomplice/advocate in the wider world as well as the workplace and how to maximize that advocacy in your professional leadership.

- Jill Avery's November 2012 report for the International Journal of Marketing entitled "Defending the Markers of Masculinity: Consumer Resistance to Brand Gender-Bending" is pivotal to the discussion of gender contamination and provided the foundational information for this episode
- Carmen Nobel's November 2013 article for Forbes entitled "Gender Contamination: Why Men Prefer Products Untouched By Women" provided specific brand information on the subject of gender contamination
- Libby Copeland's August 2013 for Slate entitled "Is Diet Soda Girly?" provided specific brand information on the subject of gender contamination
- Dorothy Neufeld's March 2020 article entitled "Female Breadwinners Have Doubled, But Barriers Remain" was used for the statistics on women holding the title of breadwinner in the U.S. pre-pandemic
- Becky O'Connor's March 2020 article for Royal London entitled "Rise of the female breadwinner: Woman earns the most in one-in-four households" was used for the statistics on women holding the titled of breadwinner in the UK pre-pandemic
- Emily Contois' November 2020 article on Nursing Clio entitled "Diners, Dudes and Diets" is a fascinating breakdown of the role of masculinity in both the brands we buy but the food we eat and is an incredible take on gender contamination
- Emily Moss' September 2019 blog for Community Business entitled "Masculinity in the Workplace" breaks down how toxic masculinity and the workplace intersect as well as key points for being an advocate/ally in the workplace, no matter your level of leadership
- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 10 of Series 2 where we're focusing on the so-called "Shecession", which is the massive loss of women from the workforce post-pandemic. American media are doubling-down on the story that people in America don't want to go back to their low paying jobs  after having it “so good” on unemployment when really, the missing infrastructure of childcare and other much needed supports for working women is a huge reason behind people, disproportionately women, having to leave the workforce and not return. We discuss the cycle of debt and poverty and how having "rainy day savings” is a privilege for many. We go through important statistics from the recent Deloitte "Women @ Work" report which detail women carrying the bulk of household tasks while still working, how many are losing faith in their career prospects and explore some of the reasons why more than half of the women polled are looking to leave their jobs in the next 2 years. We explore the pervasiveness of harassment, microaggressions and non-inclusive behaviour and how many examples of these behaviours are so innocuous, most women won't report them for fear of sounding melodramatic or experiencing career penalties. We question if what we’re seeing is a rise of the patriarchy and we close out the episode talking over why the idea that women and men were nearly equal before the pandemic is a lie.

- Deloitte Global "Women @ Work" Report, READ IT!
- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here.

If this episode is resonating with you, send us a message - we’d love to hear from you 🤍

Welcome to Episode 9 of Series 2 where we're diving into our own personal experiences working in an abusive/toxic environment. Lisa discusses how her own poor boundary setting lead to an exploitation of that weakness which, over time, negatively impacted her mental health to the point of constantly feeling trapped, crying at inopportune moments (like Zoom calls!) and leading her to complete lose her sense of joy. We highlight two important choices working women/mothers have to make: Choosing not to die on the altar of unending work (i.e. the 24 hour/7 day work week) and choosing to recognise your own merit so that you’re never begging someone else to see it as well. Jenni speaks about what it looks like to watch someone struggle through this from the outside and how when you’re in the thick of a toxic situation, you can’t see the wood for the trees. We close with a discussion on  how the antiquated idea of 9-5 working alienates women with unpaid care responsibilities from the workforce and how partnerships where both people are choosing (or stuck in) unsustainable working patterns can really suffer.

- Please check out our "Feminism 101" suggested reading list here if you're at a loose end for a great read from an Feminist author.
- Find out more about the amazing artists, Nubefy, behind the graphics we use (though not on this episode) here.