Like a Mother

Raised on public assistance, Kimra Luna and her husband found themselves living with his parents and relying on welfare to support their tiny kids.

Eventually, Kimra's husband landed a FedEx job, and this bored housewife became obsessed with online marketing. Have a listen to hear with very limited expertise, blue-haired, pierced Luna launched an online business that grossed seven figures within a year, relocated her family from Southern California to a luxury Manhattan apartment, and today sends her kids to private schools and employs a vegan chef. Oh -- and she started a social revolution, too: Freedom Hackers. 

Her tagline? "A Little Bit Of Punk Rock, A Whole Lotta Business"

Vin Armani is the star of Gigolos, the Showtime hit reality drama about male escorts. In other words: Vin Armani is America's No. 1 most known gigolo. 

The male escort profession elicits giggles upon first mention, but here is something I have come to know about Vin after working with him over a few years: He's super-smart, extremely insightful about gender relations, and what women really want from a man -- including in bed. Plus, Vin really, genuinely likes women. In fact, that his how he explains his professional success: He has a keen knack for understanding what every single woman wants and needs -- and what it takes to seduce her. I find him to be a delight to speak with. Probably because I'ma  woman and he knows what I want (eek, I feel so vulnerable!). 

In this episode, Vin shares with me exactly what happens on a client date, including what he drinks, the cologne he wears, what successful women REALLY want in bed, and why 45 is the magic number for women coming into their sexualities. Oh -- and we have a big chat about why motherhood is ripe with sexual power. 

In this episode I interview New York City divorce attorney Morghan Richardson, who comments on the recent state senate ruling which DRAMATICALLY slashes the income cap used for calculating alimony payments from $543,000 to $175,000 -- plus factors in child support into the calculations.

Bottom line: Rich, lesser-earning spouses -- nearly always wives -- of rich men in New York can no longer expect big, fat alimony checks. Judges -- especially female judges, Richardson observes -- are telling stay-at-home moms to get jobs. "They have very little sympathy for people who are not learning in," says Richardson. "Women on the bench worked extremely hard to get there, and they have less sympathy for somebody focused only on family life."

I also interview Dana Lim, a California mom of two who turned down significant alimony and child support when she divorced -- even though she;d been a stay-at-home mom and had little earning potential at first. Things were so dire she couldn't afford to eat some days. But today Lim is grateful for her decision, which she says pushed her to take professional risks that paid off. She also credits her positive co-parenting relationship with her ex, who she says has dramatically improved his involvement with their kids, in part because there is no money complicating their arrangement. 

Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche was really really ticked off that the financial industry ignored people of color -- especially women. She looked around and saw countless brilliant, successful doctors, lawyers, architects and MBAs -- who were in debt and with little financial literacy or foundation. 

Aliche set out to change that. Within a single year, Aliche recruited nearly 20,000 women of color into her Live Richer Challenge, a free program and community that helps members take control of their finances. To date, the challenge, participants collectively paid off $400,000 in debt and saved $3.5 million -- and Alliche's message and followers are snowballing.

Best yet? Despite her proven power, financial services companies mostly still ignored her, so Aliche found a way to take those companies out of the equation while growing her following. She estimates 500,000 women of color will be part of her financial empowerment revolution within the next couple of years. And when banks come knocking? She will carefully choose those she trusts.

Patti Stanger is star and executive producer of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker, and CEO of matchmaking service Millionaire’s Club has spent eight years on cable helping the rich and often famous find a love connection -- all while sharing with America her own journey of balancing a search for love with a successful career as an entrepreneur.Emma interviews the lifelong entrepreneur, who recently launched the audio coaching program, "The Single Girls' Handbook," and her wine, P.S. Match, and is author of four books, including Become Your Own Matchmaker. The conversation includes Patti’s abortion at age 26, why college women should freeze their eggs, how to get your man to help around the house, and her estimation of how Hillary has learned to be Bill’s beta. Emma’s No. 1 question? How can successful women find love.

In this episode, Emma interviews entrepreneur and feminist activist Miki Agrawal.

The Canadian born former professional soccer player told Emma: "If I can own the vagina and butthole, I win." She's talking about her current endeavors, which include CEO and co-founder of THINX, pretty panties for "women with periods" replacing the need for pads and tampons. This reusable product aims to disrupt the global feminine hygiene market and save trees and landfills globally. Offshoots include Icon, for female incontinence, and a boyshort style, marketed to the female-to-male transgendered community. Miki is also creator of Tushy, a bidet product that retrofits on a typical toilet. Every one of Miki's ventures challenge the status quo regarding body, gender and sexuality.

Previous ventures include creator of WILD, a New York City farm-to-table, gluten-free pizza restaurant that she also brought to Las Vegas with Zappos founder Tony Hseih. Miki wrote the No. 1 bestseller How to Do Cool Sh*T, and was recipient of the 2013 Tribeca Film Festival's "Disruptive Innovation Award," and named to Forbes' "Top 20 Millienials On a Mission."

What the hell is going on? Since 1965, labor-force rates for women with kids under 18 have risen from 45 percent to 78 percent, and today’s mothers—both working and stay-at-home at tlike—spend more than 14 hours a week in 2010, up from just 10 hours a week in 1965. Despite spending all this time with our monkeys, 51 percent of working moms say they feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids! 

All this working-mom guilt keeps us back professionally, leading to dropping out of the work force, failing to go for promotions and higher-paying work so we can spend even more hours on children. Children, it must be noted, do not need all the hours we're currently devoting to them. 

Psychologist Dr. Madeline Levine recently claimed that children of over-involved parents are three times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, and David Code, wrote in his book To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.

Families centred on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids. Most of us have created child-centred families, where our children hold priority over our time, energy and attention. But as we break our backs for our kids, our marriage and self-fulfilment go out the window while our kids become more demanding and dissatisfied. That's why children seem to have many more problems nowadays than we did, or our parents did. By killing ourselves to provide a perfect, trauma-free childhood for our children, we're wasting our energy. The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself.

In this episode I elaborate more on why both parents and kids need to less time together. After all, what did we learn from all the complaints about milenials, who were the first generation to be subject to so much helicoptering, and are seen as a generation unable to function in adulthood?

Caller Denise asks whether it is a good idea to bribe with money her 11-year old to maintain basic personal hygeine. I surprised myself with the answer! 

With the exception of abuse, divorce is a luxury. 

I was acutely aware of this over the past six or so months when my ex and I were getting along really well. We were solid co-parents and I remembered how much we have in common as people. I appreciated how hard it can be for kids to shuttle between two homes.

I also appreciated how it was thanks to sufficient funds -- no matter how tight they could be -- that afforded us the luxury of living separately. 

While I had no interest in re-connecting romatically, I sometime wondered if it was worth inflicting all the stress of on the kids to live apart. Sometimes I understood why people go Euro -- maintain long-term marriages while pursuing romantic interests separately. 

I'm not the only one to think this -- there has been plenty written about the fact that divorce rates correlate inversely with unemployment rates. In other words, for every 1 percent uptick in unemployment, divorce rates dip 1 percent. The poorer they are, the more they are willing to put up with their spouse -- even if trying finances makes marriage harder. 

During the recent recession, the NPR-Kaiser Family Foundation found that more than 20 percent of Americans who had been without work for more than a year claimed their close relationships suffered, and more than 30 percent said their financial difficulties have had a profound negative impact on their partners' health and well-being. 

None of this is surprising, as throughout history most people simply could not afford to divorce -- most especially women, who were likely critical to the family finances, but oft had little economic power. Today we do, and women file the majority of divorces, figures that are dramatically higher for college-educated women, of whom 90 percent are the divorce filers,  according to some statistics. In other words, when you feel broke, you stay, and when you feel like you have money in your pocket, and things get tough, you are more likely to leave. 

In this podcast my friend and Astoria, New York family lawyer Morghan Richardson called in to share her experience dealing with divorcing couples -- many of whom have no idea how much the process will cost ($44,000 on average, nationally!), much less the cost of running two households. Stay-at-home parents or a partner who chooses to not to be involved in the family finance are especially naive about this reality. 

Caller Alan can speak to the accessibility of divorce when there is plenty of money. His ex-wife stunned him when she asked to separate to pursue another relationship. She was a chemist with a master's degree and earned more than he did, and when she refused even a single session of marriage counseling, he had no choice but to agree to the split. Listen to find out what he thinks about marriage today ...

In this episode of Like a Mother with Emma Johnson I share some thoughts about how you are always ON. If you are dating a dad, want to have children with him one day, and really resent spending time with his kids -- don't be surprised when he stalls on committing to you. You've let him know what kind of mother you'll be, even if you pay lip service to behavior to the contrary. 

This episode's caller is a remarkable mom who wants to answer her curious 11-year-old daughter's questions about homosexuality. Kids at school are pairing up in same-sex couples, and the girl's beloved uncle is gay and married to a man. The caller is cool with gay people but does not support gay marriage. She wants to address her daughter's questions, and also wants the girl to make up her own mind on politics -- not automatically assume her mom's stance.

I love her for her genuine intent to do right by her kid while standing true to her own beliefs. Have a listen - I found this to be both an intellectually fascinating topic, but also a very sweet story about family and love.