List Envy

List Envy

By Mark SteadmanComedyLeisureComedy InterviewsHobbies
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List Envy episodes

  • Top 5 Harry Potter characters
    This week, Mark is joined by podcaster, improv comedian and Harry Potter superfan Cat Turner, to collaborate on a list of the best five characters in JK Rowling’s Hogwarts universe.
    If spoilers are a thing you want to avoid, maybe skip this one until you’re all caught up. Like Mark maybe should’ve.
    Cat grew up listening to Stephen Fry read the Harry Potter books, and wants to sort her soon-to-arrive hamster into the appropriate Hogwarts house, but she insists she isn’t a nerd about it.
    Mark’s seen some of the Harry Potter films and listened, a little distractedly, to the first four Potter audiobooks.
    As well as knowing everything there is to know about Harry Potter, Cat is also a maths genius, which is something she credits partially with her own Professor McGonagall. Cat also presents Cat’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a podcast uncovering the weird things people believe, like that the Titanic was switched at the last minute, or that Beyoncé faked her pregnancy.
    Cat’s guide to Hogwarts houses
    Gryffindors are brave, but if you self-identify as one, you’re an idiot.
    Ravenclaws are clever but a bit up themselves.
    Slytherin are cunning, but the less said about them the better.
    Hufflepuff is clearly the best house. Work hard and stick to it.
    We have bones to pick with JK Rowling
    Put diversity properly into your book, and don’t try and retrofit it after the fact.
    Rowling follows TERF s on Twitter.
    The American Hogwarts equivalent, Ilvermorny, is problematic.
    Honourable mentions
    Here are some characters we like, but didn’t make it into our lists. If you finish the episode notes before you get to the end, relax; we know and we address it.
    Dolores Umbridge
    Ron Weasley, as well as his mum and dad
    Nymphadora Tonks
    Remus Lupin
    Sirius Black
    Cat’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    Rubeus Hagrid
    We could all stand to be a little bit more like Hogwarts’ Keeper of the Keys and Grounds. He’s Cat’s top pick as a character with kindness, heart, and the ability to learn from his mistakes. She would have liked a little more back story into the character’s early life, as the son of a human man and a giant woman.
    Regulus Black
    While his brother Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, Regulus was sorted into Slytherin and dragged into the Death Eaters. He’s a top pick for Cat as a once conflicted character who makes the ultimate sacrifice, for the right reasons.
    Lavender Brown
    Cat picks this true hero of Hogwarts and fully paid-up member of “the DA” because femininity should never be viewed as a negative trait.
    Professor McGonagall
    Cat likes Minerva McGonagall because she knows how to walk the fine line between a lightly conspiratorial chat with a student, and the discipline that’s necessary to wield as a Head of House. She also provided a much-needed moral compass to Dumbledore.
    Dobby the house elf
    Cat’s final pick is a character who adds some essential comic relief, but who also has a great amount of heart. Or had. You were warned about spoilers.
    Mark’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    Professor Snape
    Mark’s first pick presents as a baddy, but is a complex and contradictory character. Cat thinks he should grow up, and has some better suggestions if duality is the criteria.
    Professor Dumbledore
    Cat throws a dark spanner into Mark’s list by schooling him on the Hogwarts headmaster’s motivations, but Mark thought it was silly to build a top five list of Potter characters and not have him in.
    Neville Longbottom
    Mark will always pick an underestimated underdog, and he likes Harry’s classmate for the bravery he finds in himself in later books.
    Hermione Granger
    Although she might induce an eye-roll, Mark’s final pick is someone with a strong moral compass, a big brain and a big heart.
    More of Catherine Turner
    You can, and should, find Cat’s Cabinet of Curiosities wherever you find fine podcasts, and follow her and the show on Twitter.
    Links
    Support the podcast
    Special Guest: Catherine Turner.
    52 min
  • Top 5 journeys to scientific discovery

    In this first episode, Mark speaks with sleep and respiratory scientist Max Thomas, all about science! Specifically, the unexpected or otherwise fascinating discoveries that have brought us incredible advancement. There’s also stuff about bums and willies, too, and more than one object being inserted into more than one dog.


    Max makes a living out of making people breathless, which is a cool way of saying he studies how people breathe, and often has to make them not breathe very well so he can find out why they’re not breathing very well… you’re smart, you get it.


    This episode was recorded on Black Wednesday, which, it has been posited, might not be the day you want to find yourself in hospital, as it’s the day when trainee doctors start their residencies. But we’re pretty sure it’s fine now.


    • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:38) - Meeting Max
  • (06:13) - Max's pick: Carbon dating
  • (11:35) - Mark's pick: the X-Ray
  • (14:25) - Max's pick: Sildenafil
  • (19:51) - Max's pick: LSD
  • (27:02) - Mark's pick: Penicillin
  • (29:06) - Max's pick: self-experimentation
  • (36:49) - Mark's pick: Insulin
  • (39:14) - Max's pick: Stomach ulsers
  • (44:42) - Mark's pick: Laminated glass
  • (46:24) - Mark's pick: Pacemaker
  • (48:44) - Mark's pick: Microwaves
  • (52:20) - Building the final list
  • (55:23) - A late pick fro mMark: Quinine
  • (01:01:00) - Honourable mentions
  • (01:04:01) - Finishing up


    • Max is part of Birmingham-based improv comedy troupe OK Stop!, who you can see perform at 1000 Trades in the Jewellery Quarter on the last Wednesday of every month. You can also follow Max on Twitter @maximum_science.

    1 hr 6 min
  • Top 5 childhood toys

    Improv comedian and self-styled “failed jogger” Lucy Day joins Mark to relive their childhoods and complain about the toys they never had.


    Both Mark and Lucy wanted a Mr Frosty but were denied one, and were both fans of the wonderful book and TV series The Animals of Farthing Wood. Mark nearly tells a story about showing a family member his organ (it’s fine), and Lucy reveals the toys that made her anxious as a child, namely Crocodile Dentist and Etch-a-Sketch.


    Trigger warning: if you ever put on a show for your parents and they told you they were watching, they weren’t. Sorry. Also, it turns out that growing up isn’t about not being able to do anything you want, but about being able to do anything you want, but having to face the consequences.


    The pair also compare the dogs they had. You can be the decider as to which one is best.

    • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (03:06) - Meeting Lucy
  • (05:37) - The toys we didn't have
  • (12:36) - Lucy's pick: Dressing-up box
  • (15:04) - Mark's pick: Karaoke machine and portable tape player
  • (18:17) - Lucy's pick: Sega MegaDrive
  • (19:56) - Mark's pick: Sega Game Gear
  • (22:14) - Lucy's pick: Lego
  • (24:12) - Mark's pick: Teddy bear
  • (27:29) - Lucy's pick: Sindy
  • (30:52) - Mark's pick: Magna Doodle
  • (34:23) - Lucy's pick: Spirograph
  • (36:33) - Mark's pick: Train set
  • (39:46) - Honourable mentions
  • (46:33) - Finalising the list
    • 53 min
  • Top 5 childhood toys
    Improv comedian and self-styled “failed jogger” Lucy Day joins Mark to relive their childhoods and complain about the toys they never had.
    Both Mark and Lucy wanted a Mr Frosty but were denied one, and were both fans of the wonderful book and TV series The Animals of Farthing Wood. Mark nearly tells a story about showing a family member his organ (it’s fine), and Lucy reveals the toys that made her anxious as a child, namely Crocodile Dentist and Etch-a-Sketch.
    Trigger warning: if you ever put on a show for your parents and they told you they were watching, they weren’t. Sorry. Also, it turns out that growing up isn’t about not being able to do anything you want, but about being able to do anything you want, but having to face the consequences.
    The pair also compare the dogs they had. You can be the decider as to which one is best.
    A note on privilege
    We all know that when Lucy says she had a “privileged” upbringing, she’s being a bit self-deprecating rather than elitist. You know this, but now it’s in print.
    Honourable mentions
    Mechano
    Sylvanian Families
    Pogs
    Hex Bugs, the battling robotic insects Mark was thinking of
    Lucy’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    Dressing-up box
    Made with love and care by Mum, with some items donated by other family members — perhaps those no longer with us — the dressing-up box is one of many doors to a whole world of imagination.
    Sega MegaDrive
    Americans mistakenly call it the “Genesis”, but to everyone who grew up in the 90s outside of North America, the Sega MegaDrive was a thing of 16-bit beauty.
    Lego
    Lucy played with what by today’s standards might be considered a paltry amount of bricks, but “back in our day”, they were simply what was on offer. And they were enough. Lucy used to build things with her dad, in a world before Marvel and Star Wars sets were everywhere (usually on the floor).
    Sindy
    This “cheap woman’s Barbie” was not necessarily a feminist icon, but she was affordable. Back then it was all about the drama, and the necessary intermingling of characters from the Sindy universe and Sylvanian Families.
    Spirograph
    Like Lucy’s life (apparently… we’re probably not best equipped to judge), the Spirograph showed great promise but was ultimately less-than-satisfying after a few goes.
    Mark’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    Karaoke machine and portable tape player
    Mark and his friend used to record secret missions with each-other, with the mission-setter using the karaoke machine to make an instructional tape the player would play, as he navigated the world his friend had created, fighting awkwardly.
    Sega Game Gear
    Mark saved up his own money to buy this handheld 8-bit console. It scored over the Game Boy as it was full-colour and had a landscape screen, but there weren’t enough original titles to keep it afloat. Very well-off boys and girls might have added the optional TV tuner so they could watch telly on a 3” screen.
    Teddy bear
    Mark’s teddy was called Havy, for some reason. He was brown and had a little red heart on his chest. Mark loved him very much, but he probably had to go to where all teddy bears go after a while, when the stuffing can no longer be replaced.
    Magna Doodle
    Unlike the aforementioned Etch-a-Sketch, the Magna Doodle was a freeform drawing device that promised a lot more creative freedom. Apparently divers use it underwater — even though they’re absolutely not rated for that use — because the “ink” is based on magnetism, not gravity.
    Train set
    The video Mark was thinking of, with Thomas doing stunts doesn’t involve 50 Cent — that’s another one — but is an iteration on the Thomas the Dank Engine meme.
    Links
    Support the podcast
    Special Guest: Lucy Day.
    53 min
  • Top 5 journeys to scientific discovery
    In this first episode, Mark speaks with sleep and respiratory scientist Max Thomas, all about science! Specifically, the unexpected or otherwise fascinating discoveries that have brought us incredible advancement. There’s also stuff about bums and willies, too, and more than one object being inserted into more than one dog.
    Max makes a living out of making people breathless, which is a cool way of saying he studies how people breathe, and often has to make them not breathe very well so he can find out why they’re not breathing very well… you’re smart, you get it.
    This episode was recorded on Black Wednesday, which, it has been posited, might not be the day you want to find yourself in hospital, as it’s the day when trainee doctors start their residencies. But we’re pretty sure it’s fine now.
    Honourable mentions
    Play-Doh
    Cisplatin (which Mark entirely forgot to mention)
    Max’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    Radiocarbon dating
    This method for determining the age of an object containing organic material is Max’s number one, purely because of the journey. We’re able to utilise a substance called carbon 14 which only came about because of nuclear testing, so… thanks?
    Sildenafil
    This drug is more commonly known by another name, and is usually blue. Its discovery was somewhat accidental as the scientists working on it were trying to treating heart-related chest pain.
    LSD
    This is actually Max’s fourth pick. We have Albert Hofmann to thank for this psychedelic drug, and if you’ve never heard of Bicycle Day, you’re in for a treat.
    Self-experimentation
    Max celebrates German physician Werner Forssmann, who was told that catheterising the heart (sticking something inside it) would cause it to fibrillate (wobble unnecessarily). So on catheterising a dog, he then decided to experiment on himself. Total lad.
    Peptic ulcers
    While the destination might not sound the most thrilling, the self-experimentation of Austrian scientists Robin Warren and Barry J Marshall makes the journey that bit more interesting, and secures the humble stomach ulcer — and its treatment — a place in Max’s list.
    Mark’s picks
    In order of discussion:
    X-Ray
    German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen was working with a cathode ray tube in 1895, when he noticed a nearby screen glowed in a dark room. So he stuck his hand in front of the tube and saw his bones in the projected image on the screen. In 1896, doctors started journaling their hair loss and other ailments caused by exposure to X-rays. 🤮
    Penicillin
    1928, Sir Alexander Fleming saw mould growing in a dish of bacteria. He noticed the bacteria wasn’t growing around the mould, which secreted a chemical that inhibited bacterial growth. And apparently it has nothing to do with him seeing a mouldy piece of bread.
    Laminated glass
    In 1903, Edouard Benedictus dropped a glass flask with a liquid plastic solution in it. The liquid evaporated, but the glass didn’t shatter, and maintained the shape of the container. With this discovery, he created laminated — or safety — glass, which is used in safety goggles and car windscreens.
    Pacemaker
    Wilson Greatbatch was building a device to record heart rhythm, and on pulling a resistor out of a box and fitting it, he found it was the wrong size, but the electrical pulses emitted by the circuit made him think of a previous idea that electricity might stimulate the heart
    Microwave oven
    This was discovered in 1945 by Percy Spencer, and involved him pointing vacuum tubes at different things, after a chocolate bar melted in his pockets. The first microwave weighed 340kg, and the first desktop unit sold in 1965 for $500.
    Quinine
    Many know that quinine is used in tonic, which is in turn used in a gin-and-tonic. As Max points out, we used to put gin in tonic to make the tonic drinkable, whereas now we have nice-tasting gins.
    More of Max Thomas
    Max is part of Birmingham-based improv comedy troupe OK Stop!, who you can see perform at 1000 Trades in the Jewellery Quarter on the last Wednesday of every month. You can also follow Max on Twitter @ maximum_science.
    Links
    Support the podcast
    Special Guest: Max Thomas.
    1 hr 6 min
  • Introducing List Envy

    What are your top 5 sandwiches? What’s the best way to rank Bond films? Which are your favourite misheard lyrics? Making lists is good, but it’s better with friends.

    This is List Envy, a podcast where Mark Steadman collaborate with actors, writers, musicians, comedians, scientists and podcasters to build a definitive top 5 list on a topic of the guest’s choosing.


    Clips in this trailer include * Cat Turner from Cat’s Cabinet of Curiosities, talking about Harry Potter characters * Writer Jon Bounds on 70s British sitcoms * Musician Brendan Hutchins on pop punk banks of the 2000s * Comedian Lucy Day on the toys we had as kids


    List Envy launches on August 13th with 2 episodes, and new episodes come out every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you’re reading this now. Search for the podcast by name, or visit the website.

    4 min

About List Envy

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