Listen Hearter

From the episode:

Books Referenced
"Warrior of the Light" by Paulo Coelho | https://amzn.to/3kd6CIi

Quotes Referenced
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Unknown (often attributed to Gandhi, but shown not to be)
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…We need not wait to see what others do.” - Mahatma Gandhi (This is what Gandhi did say, which is similar)
“An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.” - Unknown (also often attributed to Gandhi, but shown not to be)

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From the episode:

"We have a composition of emotions that encompasses our entire 100% of what we feel." - Brandy Little

"We judge our composition, like you can't feel happy during a sad time and you can't feel sad during a happy time. I know during one of the darkest time periods of my life when my dad was sick, I also had some of my happiest moment. I was happy a lot of the time even though I've never been more sad in my life. Somehow they both existed at the same time." - Brandy Little

"I can't control other people or how they feel about me. If I did something bad or wrong or hurtful to someone, I feel what I can control is that I attempt to understand what happened, I say I'm sorry for what I did wrong, I ask for forgiveness, and then I forgive myself." - Brandy Little

"You can attach yourself to the negative emotions, or the opposite way, and attach yourself to the positive ones. Either way can be harmful. We have to holistically step back and look at it all." - Tonia McIntosh

"We're not out emotions, that's not who we are. They're just things we experience." - Brandy Little

"I think, for me, it comes down to where I'm people pleasing and where I'm sacrificing myself and my needs." - Tonia McIntosh

"By avoiding conflict, we're trying to control the other person because we're assuming how they're going to react or how they're going to feel, but we really don't know. We're afraid of creating the situation that we're trying to avoid." - Brandy Little

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From the episode:
"What happened to you before is good information to have, but it can be a detriment to the situations we're having now because it forces us into a pattern of what existed before us." - Brandy Little

"We are a series of rough drafts, and if you look at the final copy of most things, they're nothing like what their first draft was. It's just constant revisions." - Brandy Little

"If we aren't consciously thinking about each moment, then we ended up falling into those patterns of the past and almost imprisoning us from being something in the present and into the future." - Brandy Little

"Don't be an autopilot anymore." - Tonia McIntosh

"Presence becomes awareness." - Brandy Little

"When I feel like things aren't working, I try to change the scenery or do something new, and it all feels like it's working, 'I got out of this pattern', but that's not true. That's a trick, a disguise. There's so many things you can do externally that, for awhile, will feel like you are making changes and like you're forging a new path, but the truth is because all of these things are external we haven't really done anything. If your heart doesn't change, then nothing else really matters." - Tonia McIntosh

"You have to change internally, and, if you don't have practice doing that, it's so hard to know how or where to begin, and what to even do. But that I do believe the heart is the way to create a new path." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think fear disguises itself as many things." - Tonia McIntosh

"Pain is an indication something's wrong. It brings attention and awareness, and then you can start working on it." - Brandy Little

"How many of us are masking things and not even admitting that they even exist because of some idea of strength that we've built up in our minds." - Tonia Mcintosh

"I've seen how beautiful vulnerability is and known how connected I feel to someone who's actually showing the pain that they might have, or whatever's going on inside." - Brandy Little

"I found myself apologizing for crying. I lost my dad and I'm like, "Oh, I'm sorry I'm crying." What! Why am I apologizing for this thing? Why are we making it wrong to show this of ourselves?" - Brandy Little

"People judge your pain or judge the amount of time the pain takes to heal, but we're all different. The healing journey is different for all of us." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Strong doesn't have to mean the same thing for everyone, and, for me, being strong means that I cry." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Anger is the catalyst for so many beautiful things and changes in the world." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Anger is a signal that something's not right for you. It's foolish to ignore any of the emotions that are coming up within you, they're all information." - Brandy Little

"You should never know what's going to happen." - Brandy Little

"External things are more the catalyst for the internal things. They're the things that might help set off that internal fuse, but the internal work has to happen." - Brandy Little

"The internal work never ends." - Tonia Mcintosh

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From the episode:
"What if the mind has a role and the heart has a role and they work together with those roles, but a lot of times they confuse their roles." - Brandy Little

"The point is we're always evaluating never concluding." - Brandy Little

"When my heart speaks to me, it is very quiet, and it gets lost in the other noise. It takes a long time to figure out what it's trying to say to me." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart tells you to do something that you might not want to do, or you don't feel ready to do, but the heart never really cares if you're ready." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart speaks a different language and I don't understand it yet." - Brandy Little

 "I know the moments in my life where I followed my heart, and it never lead to the wrong way." - Brandy Little

"The problem is, is people say the ways of the heart is irrational, but I suggest it's not irrational it just means they don't understand it yet." - Brandy Little

"The heart knows the best decisions for you." - Brandy Little

"I think the roles cross is when the brain thinks it knows what's right, but usually that is a fear." - Brandy Little

"I think people are visual and with the mind you can visualize an outcome, a goal, or anything like that. So it makes sense to you to move forward with that, and you feel safe going there because you see where you are going, but the heart says, "I'm not going to tell you where we're going, you just need to trust." It tells you to walk through the fire, and that sounds terrible, but the heart says it's necessary." - Tonia McIntosh

"You have so many worlds inside of you." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart is always trying to advocate for you." - Brandy Little

"Ignoring the heart is part of following my heart. You have to ignore it to know that you've heard it correctly." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you know someone's heart, then you know them." - Tonia McIntosh

"Exist on your edge." - Brandy Little

"Most people know what's in their heart, and for whatever reason different things have come into their life and has has told them they either can't do this or it's not acceptable by society. They'll rationalize why they can't have the thing in their heart. So they start to muffle out the sound of their heart, they don't want to hear it because it hurts, because they know that they're not doing the thing, or they're not being who they are." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Mentioned
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman | https://amzn.to/2IhkeF8

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From the episode:
"I don't think anything that exists is valueless." - Tonia McIntosh

"Anything you see that exists began as a thought, and that's the only way anything can ever exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"That's a thought out loud." - Tonia McIntosh

"If a thought comes through the only way it has power is if you attach yourself to it. That gives it power, it gives it weight, and it becomes integrated into reality. That's how you manifest - first by having though, then by believing it can be real, and then making it real." - Tonia McIntosh

"Affirmations are important to train the mind to think the way I want to think, and the way I want to think is that I can do anything that I put my mind to." - Tonia McIntosh

"Curiosity is organic food for the brain." - Brandy Little

"People will say that's serendipitous or that's just a coincidence, and I don't believe in coincidences, because when you set an intention or a goal and the focus on it the more the world will shift around you and bring into your life the things that you need to make said goal or intention happen. A lot of manifestation has to do with awareness, being aware of what's going on around you and being aware of what your intention is. Once you know, then that's when you know the things that are happening around you can help you get to this place that you want to be and create the thing that you want for you. And then, all of a sudden now, the thing that was not in existence, now exists." - Tonia McIntosh

"People say, 'You can't just create something from nothing,' and that's actually the only way to create, otherwise it's not a creation as it already exists. That's what creation is - it's making something from nothing." - Tonia McIntosh

"Our bodies are the vehicle for creation." - Tonia McIntosh

"We are all manifesting whether we like it or not." - Tonia McIntosh

"We are not dealing in absolutes all the time. When someone says, 'I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again,' then they're not consciously choosing their thoughts and they're not consciously manifesting."  - Tonia McIntosh

"Learning to change your reality." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think a lot of times people get discouraged. Like when you're tying to make a new habit, it gets discouraging because it's so easy to fall into those groves that you've created in your brain, because that's what we're doing, we're making groves. The deeper the groove, the easier it is to fall back into it, but it's not impossible." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne | https://amzn.to/3ka94iW
"Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert | https://amzn.to/38joFdP

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From the episode:
"We are students of life, and life is the best teacher you can have." - Tonia McIntosh

"The lesson that day may not have been the lesson you want to learn, but it was the lesson you needed to learn." - Brandy Little

"We're not optimist, we're valueist - we find meaning and value in everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"Life is about where you are putting your focus." - Brandy Little

"I'm not ignoring the bad things that happen, but instead of dwelling on them, I'm constantly asking, 'How can I pivot this to something that I have control over fixing, that can be more productive, or can serve me?'" - Brandy Little

"I love the word alchemy, because I have lived in darkness and bad things have happened to me, but they always lead to an opporunity for alchemy, where that experience can turn into whatever I want. And I choose, more often than not, to turn it into something that's beautiful and happy." = Tonia McIntosh

"It's a choice. You can look at a storm and see a storm or see the rainbow that it produces." - Brandy Little

"Walking through a fire is not pleasant. It's painful." - Brandy Little

"Optimism is finding beauty in everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"I find beauty in pessimism, it can be part of the process of optimism." - Tonia McIntosh

"You need to sometimes focus on the bad parts. You can't discount them, because you need them to change and grow. They show us that there's a problem, it's pain and pain shows us is there is a problem. There's something that we need to fix and change." - Brandy Little

"We have to have hope even when things are hopeless. Hope is what gets you through things. Even when everything feels hopeless, the only way out of that is to have hope. You have to find the things that are going to get you out of the muck and the mire. If you have hope you have somewhere to go. If you don't have hope, there is nowhere to go." - Brandy Little

"You have to have faith and trust in the process. If you're assuming about a situation, then you're not listening and you're not leaving room for learning and actually seeing the situation as it is." - Tonia McIntosh

"All possibilities always exist at all times." - Tonia McIntosh

"I'm always looking to prove my assumption's wrong, because if I know nothing can break it down, then I know that it's probably something I can rely on. I need to know that it can't be punched. So I'm constantly punching it myself or looking for other things that will reshape it." - Brandy Little

"Side note, we are not scientists." - Tonia McIntosh

"We're not dealing in absolutes and I think that's what an optimist is leaving room for - leaving room for the best outcome to exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"I always believe that the best of someone or the best of something could happen, because it exists. If the worst exists, then the best also has to exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"I thoroughly believe that we are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you go into something already expecting a negative outcome of failure, then for multiple reasons you can't even be cognizant of you are going to bring them about." - Brandy Little

"Some of the worst times in my life, I have found they are some of the best times in the sense that I was able to grow and become the person that I am now and the parts of myself that I like." - Brandy Little

"You are a creation of yourself." - Tonia McIntosh

"I do think that we can choose who we want to be in different situations, and the more and more we make choices the easier those choices become. When we begin to rewire ourselves in this way, we then begin to create who we are." - Tonia Mcintosh

"If you're always blaming your external world, then you have no power to make any decisions or changes for yourself. I will always go internal, because I can't control the external. What I can control is my choices and my responses. So I'm constantly like, given those constraints, how do I overcome this? How do I maximize myself and be all I can possibly be given my constraints?" - Brandy Little

"Make choices out of love instead of fear." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz | https://amzn.to/37AS2YG
"Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein | https://amzn.to/2HTLERO

Quotes Referenced
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” - Fred Rogers

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From the episode:
"I've been working on loving all of me, and not just the parts that are easy to love, and that's so difficult. I carry these judgments with me as
if they are my reality, and that's not necessarily true because I'm a different person now. So if I can't love those parts of myself that are hard to love, then I can't expect anyone else to first, and then also, how am I going to love the parts of other people that are hard to love? And that's so important, because if you have anyone ever show you compassion in your life, and love that part of you that is hard to love, it's transformative." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you're always comfortable relying on your heart or your mind or your body, try leading with a different one, and see how that changes how you decide to make decisions or what the result is of that situation." - Brandy Little

"There's one thing exploring yourself and knowing yourself, but that also means knowing the bad parts as well, and that can be scary because we don't like to know the bad things. Those parts are what helps make the light brighter in us. If you don't focus on them, then the darker parts get darker. The darker coats. Find your dark parts, understand them, accept them, forgive yourself for them, learn from them, and try to be better." - Brandy Little

"If you zoom away from this moment and look at the whole picture, you can see that you have come a long way and have grown, and that you still have work to do." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you're not present in your body, then you go on autopilot, and the thoughts you have just become a normal thing and you don't even notice what you are saying to yourself, and that has an affect on you, on how you go out in the world, on how you see yourself, and on how you approach everything. It will affect everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"As much as we don't pay attention to our pain, we equally don't pay attention to the things that bring us joy. Things that bring us joy are those are clues to what maybe we should be doing for a career, what our skills are, or what our talents are. The more we can keep going down that road, then we discover more about ourselves. I think that a lot of times the things that bring us joy, we are so afraid of, because we think we can't have that. Our society makes us feel like if we're going to pursue anything, that we need to be the greatest, or it needs to bring us money. I don't think that's necessarily true. I don't know how many times I've told someone I've done something and the first thing they ask is how much did I get paid to do it as if that's the only thing that matters. There is so many weird expectations on that." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think one of the greatest gifts you can give to the people around you is compassion, empathy, and understanding of the things they may think of as darkness. Feeling that acceptance and love means everything. Knowing you can do something that you felt really bad about and come through as a better person for it, and still have people love you and leave space for you, it's a gift." - Brandy Little

"We don't live our lives at the end points and beginning points. Those are little points along the timeline - little dots, little blips. The longer parts, between the points, are the journey, the process. If we stop trying everyone like they should be at their end point or expecting them to be, and realize they are still in the process, that helps create compassion and space." - Brandy Little

"Self-talk points us to our values and what's important to us." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz | https://amzn.to/37AS2YG
"What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter | https://amzn.to/3ongMtk

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From the episode:
"You have to trust that your heart knows what it wants to do and who it wants to be." - Tonia McIntosh

"You just have to trust your heart knows where to bring you, and, if you are listening to your heart, it is exactly where you need to go." - Brandy Little

"I have met people who just believe the same thing their whole life and they won't change, and that's the only version of themselves that they're ever going to meet." - Tonia McIntosh

"I know my life is nothing like I thought it would be. I had complete ideas of where I would be right now and they couldn't be further opposite of everything I thought I knew and from what I thought I would be." - Brandy Little

"The moment you begin defining yourself is the moment you begin limiting yourself." - Brandy Little

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