Little Pieces Club

Today we unpack the design pattern of The Tree of Life. Remember this is the second of the design patterns that Jesus mentions in His “I AM” statements. There is a very rich depth to this metaphor that we use to organize the LPC curriculum and suggest helps form a parenting philosophy. Just like referring to Kenneth Bailey last week, our experts from this week are BibleProject.com. Their Tree of Life video is excellent and a great supplement to today’s video/podcast. We develop both in the root (solitude) and above ground in community. We have identified several skills that fall into each category, and review that organization today. We then go over high level parenting applications using these concepts. Not the least of these is raising your kids with the idea in mind that they can and will be Good Shepherds and Trees of Life in the unique ways God has planned for them. While we review a good amount of application, the whole point is that you as a parent or caregiver allow your own reading of scripture and meditations inform your parenting approach as you handle the divorce process.

Next week we begin parent Questions and Responses

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet for the good of the whole family)

Today we unpack the design pattern of The Good Shepherd with the help of renowned scholar Kenneth Bailey (His book is The Good Shepherd: The Thousand-Year Journey from Psalm 23 to the New Testament). Recall this is in the context of attachment and parenting before, during and after divorce. The main idea is that The Good Shepherd makes it easier for us to attach to the figure of God and becomes an example to follow and a philosophy of parenting; one that is 1000's of years old. Trauma science tells us that parenting children optimally requires imparting a sense of absolute worth and value apart from whether or not specific rules are followed. Rules become secondary to the basic value and worth of the child and individual. Unfortunately our modern culture, and even Western interpretations of scripture often value rules OVER intrinsic worth. Reversing this will help parents and children connect even in the midst of chaos and relational instability. It is important that lost sheep get rescued (Good Shepherd) and then have a metaphorical plan to grow, that is next week. We will take a deep dive into how we can grow into Trees of Life and then lead our own families to this as well.

Next week we dive deeply into the Design pattern of the Tree of Life.

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet for the good of the whole family)

Today we tackle the idea of attachment and Attachment Theory. We review the 4 basic attachment patterns, Secure, Anxious-Avoidant, Anxious-Ambivalent, and Fearful-Avoidant. With the help of www.attachmentproject.com we review the traits of adults of each pattern and the basic parenting style that produces the attachment pattern. Once we establish the basic science, we begin to layer biblical design patterns. First we look at the idea of wise and foolish attachments, and finally how the design pattern of transformation (lost sheep, rescued sheep, to good shepherd, to Tree of Life) fits with attachments. Parents are free to think back to their childhoods and then meditate on how their children are doing in light of attachment patterns.

Next week we dive deeply into the work of Kenneth Bailey and The Good Shepherd.

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet)

The is Part 3 in our Divorce 101 series. Today we deconstruct how Little Pieces Club principles fit with at home routines. We cover sabbath, and two types of prayer routines. We link what we do in small groups to the Greatest Blessings and the concepts the ancient Hebrews encircled this primary directive with, Wisdom, faith, love, justice, etc... Next we talk about the basic metaphors of The Good Shepherd and Tree of Life and the link to Jesus and how we can see ourselves (lost sheep, rescued by a shepherd, who then becomes a good shepherd and tree of life. We do a short lesson and then a fun activity to reinforce the lesson. What I forgot to mention is the rich experience of playing board games together. Just like family meals, this is a complicated task that is able to teach in right brained ways, so many good lessons.

Next week we tackle attachment and shame.

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet)

The is Part 2 in our Divorce 101 series. We are still focusing on the science behind understanding the impact divorce has on children. We start our looking at the concept of Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACE's. It is interesting that on some lists divorce is left off. But that being said for the Center for Disease Control it is included. We review that impact ACE's have on adult (when the child grows up) behavioral AND physical illnesses. Again this is dark data for a parent to review.

Next we pivot, (finally) to what can be done. We review Do's and Don'ts. Unfortunately many of the Don'ts are selfish behaviors adults will subject children to, and the more mature parent often is horrified by. Nonetheless making sure these behaviors are mentioned and also the Divorce Kids' Bill of Rights in the divorce proceedings may raise the awareness level enough to be impactful. I further suggest some form of a Divorce Funeral and Co-parenting Recommitment Ceremony, a wild idea, but one that reflects the gravity of the situation from the perspective of the children.

We leave this episode off with the key concept that children can do very well, and there are several best-practices that parents can follow. We must INTENTIONALLY build resilience into children, by targeting shame and encouraging their ability to see and assess the changing dynamic of the families.

Next week in Part 3 we will deconstruct how Little Pieces Club helps children and families. We will take a deep dive into how the poetry, narrative, and history written about in the Bible heals us all at a very deep level.

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet)

Season 2 is directed at parent education about divorce; it’s impacts and what can be done. This is an encore and more theologically complete version of a Continuing Medical Education Lecture Chris gave a few years ago. We look at the data gathered about divorced children over the last 40 years. And I warn you, it isn't pretty. We meet Judith Wallerstein, one of the (if not the) first researcher of the outcomes children experience after divorce. We look at the differing trajectories she saw between children of divorce and the children of parent's who had problems, but ultimately stayed together. By and large JW's work has been substantiated with subsequent work (Paul Amato). We also look at the modern family structure and the problems it gives us in terms of predicting outcomes. But where there is uncertainty, there is stress and adversity.

This episode and this series will be difficult to hear if you have gotten a divorce. Given all the information about how divorce and adversity impacts children, why then is it not discussed more widely? To explore this, with the help of biblical scholar Michael S. Heiser, we can see a link between ideology and the spiritual beings mentioned in the Bible. The antidote is to intentionally and fully look at both sides of continuum to decide wisdom: Divorce is a needed safety valve, but if marriage is not valued properly and supported, too many children get hurt when the right becomes too convenient . Are we, like the Israelite neighbors, guilty of sacrificing our children to the god of an ideology? What about abortion? And gender conversion by minors?

We settle back into seeing how divorce impacts children at different ages and this includes a discussion on conflict, shame, and the special cases of the caregiver child and the Sleeper Effect.

Books mentioned:

Judith Wallerstein: The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study

Isabel Sawhill: Generation Unbound: Drifting into Sex and Parenthood without Marriage

Michael S Heiser: The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible

Leila Miller: Primal Loss:The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak.

Rebekah Merkle: Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org (Where adversity science and biblical design patterns meet)

Chris, founder of Little Pieces Club Ministries, recently applied to give a TEDx talk for the TEDxMSU community. After making the first cut, the student organizers decided this was not a talk they wanted. This video makes the argument that meditating on 1000's of years old biblical design patterns are remarkably good at healing modern trauma. You be the judge if this is an "idea worth spreading." We'd love it if you feel strongly enough about our work to like and share!!

Visit us @ www.littlepiecesclub.org

WE MADE IT!!! The final lesson in our (Public and Private) Christian Journey Series. Of course this is just the start of the journey!

Today, in Part 14 in our series: The Public Christian Journey. We focus on how to tell others about Jesus. But we do it through understanding the Tree of Life metaphor and that Jesus called us to be like Him as a Tree of Life. We can focus on showing others and knowing the wisdom of when to tell others about Him.

Series Summary:

Week 1: We built our theology of loving others from Mark 12:29-31 and then defined love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) and forgiving others as honoring Christ's sacrifice. (Ephesians 4:32) On a practical level we look at the value and blessing that others bring to us in our journey.

Week 2: We focused on giving "free" gifts, just like Christ sacrificed for us when we didn't deserve it. We focus again on Mark 12: 29-31 and also talk in the Podcast about the connection of Christ's death to the metaphors of The Good Shepherd and the Tree of Life. We look very closely that the prison of unforgiveness and how to apply that to our daily lives. If we are in a state of unforgiveness then we are also in a state of incomplete grief.

In Week 3 we focused on the Parable of the Lost Son found in Luke 15:11-32. We deconstruct much of the Hebrew context of this parable to expose a deeper level of forgiveness expressed by the father (God). And we meditate on who actually is the lost son, and remind ourselves that forgiveness is the end product of a period of grief. We also discuss the activity sheet and journal activity for the week.

Week 4 we focused on the scriptures supporting Sabbath. We took a brief look back at the Parable of the Lost son. But this time we discuss the celebration dinner and link it to Sabbath celebration. We suggest journal prompts for the teens and discuss the activity sheet and journal activity for the week. For the small group session it was shaving Cream Week!!! (Always a favorite)

In week 5 we focused on "Apologizing with All of Our Hearts." As part of the PCJ, we will hurt people and they will hurt us. The apology is how we live out humbleness and submission (listening deeply to know) to others. We looked at intentional and unintentional harms and then look at several scripture passages that touch on various aspects of a genuine apology. Finally we suggest role-play activities and journal prompts that help dive deeper into being ready to apologize when needed.

In Weeks 6-10 We talked a lot about “Win-win-win thinking" and being an Ezer Kenegdo. As part of the PCJ, we hear echoes of Stephen Covey, (Seek first to understand and then to be understood) we spent the weeks looking at different aspects of being in relationships with others. From listening and then working together, these are all aspects of the public journey. We looked at Philippians 2:4 and Proverbs 18 and Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 for guidance.

Last week (Week 10) we applied the Ezer Kenegdo concept to making VALID EXPECTATIONS (wise rules for relationships). We looked at the Book of Esther and saw how Mordecai and Esther did better than Adam and Eve. kindly) what is a “win” for us. We fully

In Week 11 in our series: The Public Christian Journey. We look at how to balance power (or social influence) and justice. Our Biblical anchor is Romans 8:18 as we look for hope when injustices occur.

In Part 12 we took a hard look at forgiveness and the pain of unforgiveness. This is a crucial issue for parents to understand to bring forth optimal emotional health for their children. It is a long episode, so it can be broken up as needed.

In Part 13 in our series: The Public Christian Journey. After forgiveness we focus on defining integrity so that kids can better choose their friends, and label what is happening around them. Proverbs helps us see crooked and foolish people contrasted with wisdom and integrity.

You can visit us at www.littlepiecesclub.com.

Season 2 of Little Pieces Club Podcasts will be geared toward parent frequently asked questions. We start off with a big one. "What do I do about awful behavior?" The answer might surprise you! We review the anatomy of a power struggle. We review the American Academy of Pediatrics' document on 3 foundational components of disciplining children. Spoiler! Discipline does not equal punishment. Finally we talk about the post extinguishing burst. Please feel free to like and comment and reach out at our website.

You can visit us at www.littlepiecesclub.com.

This is Part 13 in our series: The Public Christian Journey. After forgiveness we focus on defining integrity so that kids can better choose their friends, and label what is happening around them. Proverbs helps us see crooked and foolish people contracted with wisdom and integrity.

Series Summary:

Week 1: We built our theology of loving others from Mark 12:29-31 and then defined love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) and forgiving others as honoring Christ's sacrifice. (Ephesians 4:32) On a practical level we look at the value and blessing that others bring to us in our journey.

Week 2: We focused on giving "free" gifts, just like Christ sacrificed for us when we didn't deserve it. We focus again on Mark 12: 29-31 and also talk in the Podcast about the connection of Christ's death to the metaphors of The Good Shepherd and the Tree of Life. We look very closely that the prison of unforgiveness and how to apply that to our daily lives. If we are in a state of unforgiveness then we are also in a state of incomplete grief.

In Week 3 we focused on the Parable of the Lost Son found in Luke 15:11-32. We deconstruct much of the Hebrew context of this parable to expose a deeper level of forgiveness expressed by the father (God). And we meditate on who actually is the lost son, and remind ourselves that forgiveness is the end product of a period of grief. We also discuss the activity sheet and journal activity for the week.

Week 4 we focused on the scriptures supporting Sabbath. We took a brief look back at the Parable of the Lost son. But this time we discuss the celebration dinner and link it to Sabbath celebration. We suggest journal prompts for the teens and discuss the activity sheet and journal activity for the week. For the small group session it was shaving Cream Week!!! (Always a favorite)

In week 5 we focused on "Apologizing with All of Our Hearts." As part of the PCJ, we will hurt people and they will hurt us. The apology is how we live out humbleness and submission (listening deeply to know) to others. We looked at intentional and unintentional harms and then look at several scripture passages that touch on various aspects of a genuine apology. Finally we suggest role-play activities and journal prompts that help dive deeper into being ready to apologize when needed.

In Weeks 6-10 We talked a lot about “Win-win-win thinking" and being an Ezer Kenegdo. As part of the PCJ, we hear echoes of Stephen Covey, (Seek first to understand and then to be understood) we spent the weeks looking at different aspects of being in relationships with others. From listening and then working together, these are all aspects of the public journey. We looked at Philippians 2:4 and Proverbs 18 and Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 for guidance.

Last week (Week 10) we applied the Ezer Kenegdo concept to making VALID EXPECTATIONS (wise rules for relationships). We looked at the Book of Esther and saw how Mordecai and Esther did better than Adam and Eve. kindly) what is a “win” for us. We fully

In Week 11 in our series: The Public Christian Journey. We look at how to balance power (or social influence) and justice. Our Biblical anchor is Romans 8:18 as we look for hope when injustices occur.

In Part 12 we took a hard look at forgiveness and the pain of unforgiveness. This is a crucial issue for parents to understand to bring forth optimal emotional health for their children. It is a long episode, so it can be broken up as needed.

You can visit us at www.littlepiecesclub.com.