Live Life Better - Exploring how faith, family, and business work together.

With all of the meal prep, shopping, cleanup, and family, the real meaning of Thanksgiving can get lost.

But just because the meaning can get lost, doesn’t mean it will.

There are so many reasons to become stressed about Thanksgiving:

• You or a loved one are working during Thanksgiving (I am!)
• The commercialism sucks all of the joy out of the holiday.
• The planning, meal prep, and clean up are already making you tired.

But there are also lot’s of reasons to enjoy this Thanksgiving holiday. I share three keys to a meaningful Thanksgiving that only take time.

You don’t need to spend money to make Thanksgiving meaningful.

You don’t need to be off on Thanksgiving to make it meaningful.

In fact, what matters about Thanksgiving isn’t the holiday itself, but the significance we place on it.

P.S. Loretta and I had a blast being interviewed on Marcu Kusi’s First Year Marriage podcast. You can listen to it here.

He stays late at the office, and he goes out with his buddies more than he goes out with his wife.

But not us.

We do things differently.

It’s hard to narrow down a list of things an awesome husband does down to only 11 things. But the truth is, the list could go on forever, so I chose to focus on the 11 I felt made the biggest impact.

You’ll need to listen to this episode to get the full list of 11, but here’s a quick preview:

• How to date your wife so she gets excited about it
• Why it’s important to pick up her phone call when you’re with your co-workers
• How to navigate the difference between how men and women process emotions
• The key to making sure you both enjoy sex (we call it “married time”)

What about you? What woud you add to the list that make an awesome husband?

To top it off, it was right before I deployed! Thankfully, Loretta didn’t kill me (in fact, she was really calm about it).

The wedding band has taken many different forms recently – wood mixed with metal, tungsten, rose gold, and some people even get them tattooed on their fingers.

But sometimes people simply don’t wear they’re wedding rings.

Besides the fact that I like wearing my wedding ring, I also wear it for reasons other than accessorizing:

1. It’s a reminder to myself of the commitment I made to my wife.
2. It’s a reminder to my wife of the commitment I made to her.
3. It’s an outward symbol to the world of my commitment to my wife.

Wearing your wedding band is a choice. It comes off just as easy as it comes on.

But it’s representative of something much bigger than a (usually) large financial investment: it’s a statement of our commitment – not just to the idea of marriage, but to the person we married.

Take some time out before bed tonight, and talk about the rings you gave each other. Remember why you both got married, and enjoy imagining your future, together.

Do you think it’s important to wear the rings you gave to each other? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you!

And I could spend all day listing reasons why I have a good chance at getting a divorce, based on my past.

But for your sake (and mine) I’ll skip that.

Like any fear, my fear of divorce could drive all of my decisions, and even possibly move my marriage closer to divorce, instead of closer in intimacy.

But instead of letting my fear of divorce take over, I do two things:

1. I do everything in my power to work against divorce.
2. I do everything in my power to work towards a happy and successful marriage.

Doing this podcast forces me to spend at least 45 minutes reflecting on and planning for my marriage.

My hope is that you benefit from listening to this podcast as much as I do from producing it.

What can you do every week to spend time reflecting on your marriage? One suggestion: reading The 5 Love Languages with your your wife. What other suggestions do you have?

Do you know someone who lives in fear of divorce? Or do you live that way? Sign up for my email list to learn more about keeping your marriage a priority for the long-term, or pass it on to a friend!

Maybe it’s the kids, maybe it’s work, maybe it’s money, and maybe you’re too tired.

But what it really comes down to is one thing…actually, one person: you

You can make date night a priority, or you can make something else the priority.

Let me explain it like this:

You can make your marriage a priority, or something else will become the priority. And when your marriage stops being the priority, you’re putting your marriage at long-term risk.

It sounds harsh, and maybe it’s not always that drastic, but the point is this: you can take your wife on a date, even if it’s popcorn and movie on the couch (with the kids in bed).

Jackie shares an incredible resource you can use for your own dates with your wife. It can be cheap, or pricey; super planned or last minute; fast paced or slow – this resource has it all, and Jackie is offering it to you for free!

By the way, when you take your wife on a date, join the community by sharing a picture of your date using the hashtag #datenightinabox

• Get your copy of “Date Night In A Box” here!
• The Single Most Important Thing a Father Can Do For His Kids

We were just coming off of an extremely trying week: I had to spend extra time at work, and Loretta had to deal with all three of our kids being sick all week.

We were tired and hungry; stressed out and grumpy. When you’re in that mindset, it’s hard to think clearly, let alone compassionately.

There’s different ways to respond when you’re in that mindset:

• Go to bed as soon as you can.
• Get lost in a book and ignore reality.
• Lash out at the kids, or even your wife.

Thankfully, that’s not the route we took.

We ended up cooking a meal together, and sitting down to eat. Together. With no distractions.

There is was, did you catch it?

Sitting down. Together. No distractions. All present. Focused on each other.

And it was exactly what we all needed

• Get this podcast delivered to your inbox
• My interview with Tony DiLorenzo

What if your marriage wasn't just normal? 

What if your marriage was extraordinary?  Filled with life?  Oozing with love? And deep with intimacy?

What matters most

Tony DiLorenzo shared that what matters most in marriage is intimacy.  But not just any kind of intimacy; he's referring to emotional intimacy.  

After celebrating his 18th year of marriage, he's got lot's to share to help us husbands and fathers keep it fresh for our wives, and fun for our kids.

The formula

While there is definitely no magic pill to a great marriage, there are certain things we can do that greatly increase our chances of having a successful marriage.

>E = I - B + A

Extraordinary = Intentional - Busyneess + Action

This formula is helpful for newly weds and seasoned marraiges alike because it helps prioritize the things that matter the most.

My struggle

You'll hear more in the podcast, but i struggle with busyness the most.  In fact, that's almost the sole issue for me.  As soon as time opens up in my schedule, I fill it with something else...and it's usually not my family.

Check out the resources Tony and his wife Alisa provide below:

Marriage coaching

The One Extraordinary Podcast

The One Extraordinary Website

He Zigs, She Zags Audio Program

"It's only by grace that you weren't born in the middle of a slum... "  

I came across an article by Ann Voscamp that spoke to me in a very real way.  It challenged me about how my faith looked on a daily basis...how I live it (or don't live it) out. 

Valuable Resources

True love can only be described as [sacrificial love][2].  The total giving of one's self for someone else.  In marriage, it's 100%/100%, at least in a perfect world.   

But what can we give to others?  

The Elephant in the Room

Attend church on any given Sunday, and the offering will more than likely talk about the resources we can give:

Our time...

Our energy...

(Oh yea) and our money.

But if we live in the United States, we've got plenty of money.  Maybe not as much as we want, but for the most part, we're able to eat three meals a day and have a roof over our heads, to say the least.

The article that challenged me was written by [Ann Voscamp][3].  You can read the entire article [here][3].

She wrote the article while visiting survivors of the recent genocide in Rwanda.  Here are a few quotes from the article:

We Have More to Give

*“It’s only by grace you weren’t born in the middle of a slum, it’s only by grace that you weren’t born in the middle of a genocide, it’s only by grace that you weren’t born in the middle of a wilderness hiding for your life under grass, that you weren’t born with your stomach burning 24 hours a day with hunger pangs.”*

*“Wherever your money goes most effortlessly — is what your heart most effortlessly treasures.  Because for such a time as now, we can testify the blazing epiphany of it:  If you’re not able to give joyfully and sacrificially, that tells you there is something awry with you and God relationally.  Because for such a time as now, we’ve seen and we are now response-able and we’re ready to be done with having bloated building budgets while African mothers have bloated babies dying in their arms.”*

We Can Do More

And we should do more.  The question is this: Will we do more?

[Read the original article here][3]

Sponsor a child through [Compassion International][4]

**Will you do more?**

[1]: http://estherblog.squarespace.com/about/

[2]: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+15:13

[3]: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/10/what-the-north-american-church-is-the-most-hungry-for/

[4]: http://www.compassion.com

##It’s hard to measure the impact on our kids, but it’s not impossible.  

One of my childhood friends was a fanatical, yell-at-the-TV Purdue Boilermaker football fan.  He knew the roster, the schedules, and more stuff than I knew existed.

He didn’t learn it on his own though - he learned to be passionate about football from his parents. (the image below is random, in case you were wondering!)

###A False Dichotomy

Sometimes it can be easy to make it an either/or situation:  either the child will be passionate about sports, or be passionate about Christ…but certainly not both.

Thankfully, my friend did grow up passionate about football and Christ, but I do think he’s the exception to the rule.

###Intentional Parenting

Our kids are too precious to allow their passions to develop by chance.  Unfortunately, without taking an honest assessment of ourselves, we can keep our kids from what matters most: a passionate faith to serve them throughout their lives.  

What’s your poison?  Playing golf? Watching football?  Shopping the latest deals?  Staring at your tablet?

More is caught than taught, and our kids are watching.

**Question:** What impact are you having on your kids right now?  What impact do you want to have on them in the future?

Is it okay to stand by and do nothing?

If you work in an office environment like I do, then you have undoubtedly seen the cliques that exist and the gossip that can happen.

Or maybe you get together with the fellas from your small group, without "that one guy" who is usually ostracized.

Those are all things that we can change immediately, simply by our actions (or lack thereof).

What about when women go to the doctor and have their pregnancies terminated? 

Or racial issues that continue to flare up, highlighting  

the rift that still exists?

### The Bible isn't silent.

Thankfully, the Bible isn't silent about what happens to those who sit idley by while their neighbor is being harmed.

Obadiah verse 11 says, *"On the day you stood aloof while strangers carried off his wealth and foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem, you were like them."*

Obadiah was referring to Edom standing idly by while the neighboring Israelites were being brutally plundered...*and were held accountable for it.*

### This is why it matters to us as husbands and fathers.

It requires us to men of integrity; **men of action.** 

Men who teach and demonstrate to our children how we respond to injustices.

Not because we're some sort of superman, but because we are called to do so by the God we worship!

1. **Discuss** issues that come up with your children.  

2. When discussing them with other adults, **demonstrate maturity** and the ability to understand the other perspective.

3. Most importantly: explain that it is not an obligation, but a **responsibility to respond** to the injustices of the world.  Not in the name of the  right or the left; not in the name of specific denomination or church group, but in the name of Jesus Christ, who is the only real remedy.

### Changing the world isn't rocket science.

But it's not easy. Focus on pouring Christ’s love into your children, and watch them do the same as they grow.  Be stewards of what we’ve been given (our families), and maximize our impact in the world on family at a time.