A gift different than most.

This past Saturday was my birthday (yup, the big 2-7), and the present I got from Loretta was just as much therapy as it was fun!

Naturally, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share it with you. I'm not just going to share what kayaking revealed about my marriage; I'm going to get Loretta's (my wife) input this time as well!

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Two are better than one!

As I was writing up my notes for this episode, it dawned on me that what I was going to share with you was something I really wanted to share with my wife. So I invited her to be my impromptu co-host, and it was great!

What could a simple kayaking trip (a birthday gift) reveal about my marriage?

Listen to find out!

Question:

What have you done with your wife that has changed the way you view your marriage? Let me know by going to philipdevine.com/41 and leave your answer in the comments section. Leave a comment here

You probably say it all the time: “I’m too busy.”

Or, “I never have time to do what matters the most.”

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photo credit: joiseyshowaa via photopin cc

Unfortunately, most of us (that includes me) spend our time being busy with the wrong things.

Do you really need to take that work home with you? Can’t I finish that book another time? How important is that email? And who cares if you accidentally miss a call or a text?

In reality, we know it’s not a big deal. But on a practical level, it eats away at valuable time that we could be spending on our wives and children.

That’s right, I said “spending on” not “spending with.”

Why? Because if we look at our waking hours the same way we look at our bank account, we can literally quantify where we spend our time. It easily answers the question:

Does the way you spend your time line up with what you say your priorities are?

Invest your free time in the things that matter the most to you. It won’t happen naturally, so be intentional about how you spend your time.

How do you spend time where it matters most? Is it something that comes naturally for you? Leave a comment here

How to Not Mess up as a Husband

There are endless options for a husband to do things wrong, so I figured it was time to help us husbands out.

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Is not messing up an option?

Absolutley! Especially when you define "messing up" as disregarding your wife's feelings and opinions.

This isn't about being a man or not being a man.

Actually, it's about being a gentleman!

Just like having a child doesn't automatically make you a father, being married doesn't automatically make you a good husband.

Consider this:

Next time, consider your wife.

Consider why she feels the way she does.

Consider why she reacted the way she did.

Next time, look at it from her perspective.

And you'll quickly discover that the "secret" to not "messing up" is acknowledging and taking into account your wife.

Question:

How has your wife’s perspective shifted your own? Hit "reply" to let me know, or leave a comment on the blog.

What Would an Extra $20,000 Do For You?

I thought the answer would be simple.

This situation was something I recently went through. Wait, "went through?"

Yup, "went through."

It was one of the most difficult decisions that I can remember having to make in a long time.

Granted, in hindsight the answer was clear. Of course I choose the extra $20,000 to provide more for my family...or did I turn down the offer to stay where we are?

Everyone/thing has a number.

I don't know how to quantify relationships. It's probably not a good idea to try. But I do know that my wife and I came to the same conclusion, after much discussion, prayer, and wise counsel.

I'm interested to see what you would have done...it's never that easy when the money is dangling in front of you (at least it wasn't for me).

Question:

How do you handle difficult decisions? 

Thank you taking 15 minutes every week to listen, I really appreciate it!

Take care,

Philip

And that’ why we went to The Comfy Cow in the St. Matthews area of Louisville. If you’ve never been there, you need to go. And let me know so I can come too!

photo credit: gruntzooki via photopin cc

As we were sitting there enjoying our ice cream, I felt the urge to pull out my smartphone, take a picture of all of us, and post it on facebook and twitter.

Then I stopped and asked myself why.

In the span of 3 milliseconds, I realized that I wasn’t taking a picture to preserve a memory.

I also wasn’t taking a picture to share the event with people in the future. I would’ve been taking a picture and posting it for the accolades I would receive online. It feels good to post of picture and have people comment, “like,” and “retweet” you.

But it was going to cost me something. Or rather, it was going to cost my kids something. Something I they never seem to get enough of, something I never seem to have enough of.

My attention.

I don’t want to manage an online persona at the expense of my real life family
relationships.

The next time you’re out with your family, keep the phone in your pocket, and give them what they really need. Your undivided attention.

How do you give your family the attention they need? Just click here and leave your answer in the comments section.

I’d love to hear from you!

And I had a blast! I only had time to answer three questions:

Jonathan asked, “Why is organized religion important?”

Matt asked, “I don’t have a wife or kids, but I’m married to my businesses. I can’t help but login to sites like Facebook and see that all of my friends are either married or having their first, and second kids. I don’t really have anything on the horizon like that. I’m perfectly content where I am; in fact, I’m really happy. I was wondering if this should be a concern for me, if I should prioritize my relationships,or if I should just continue to pursue what I’m pursuing now.”

If you have questions about faith, family, or fatherhood, let me know. The best part about these questions isn’t that I get to answer them; it’s that someone else, somewhere, has the same question, and now they have an answer.

Click here to ask your own question

For some, this is their life, day in and day out: get up in the morning, quick workout, go to work, come home from work, maybe eat dinner with the family, put the kids to bed, collapse on the bed exhausted, chat with your wife for ten minutes before both of you accidentally fall asleep.

This is what I call the "Routine." It's letting life pass you by whether you mean to or not.

Your kids? They'll be okay.

Your marriage? Hopefully it'll work out.

Your job? It pays the bills.

Don't let your love and your relationship become a part of that routine. Instead, take action (today!) to break the shackles of the "Routine." Your relationship with with your spouse is too important to let life determine the outcome!

4 Ways to Love Your Wife and Rock Your Marriage Today!

Because I know that simply acknowledging that something is a good idea is easy to do (and completely ineffective), I've created a guidebook that outlines each activity step-by-step.

It's only free for the next week, so pick up your copy here!

5 Ways to Increase Your Impact as a Father / / One of my biggest fears as a father is making an impact. / / But instead of letting that fear dictate my future, I came up with five things I can do to become a high-impact father. / / Decide to hedge your

I’ve had plenty of instances where I have questioned what I believe. Sometimes it comes from reading something new; other times it comes from a discussion with someone; and sometimes it just comes from my own doubts.

Wrong. That’s why I love what happens in Mark 9:17-24. The boys father makes the conscious decision to believe, then prays one of the most powerful prayers: Help me overcome my belief!

3 Truths About Faith In God

Okay, but why does this matter?

If our faith was a muscle, it would be the most important body part to work out. Exercise your faith, and focus on your salvation.

Question: What’s your opinion about focusing on the spiritual instead of the physical?