Too often, prayer is the last tool we think of.

It doesn’t matter if we’re coming home from work after a long day, trying to figure out the budget, or even trying to figure out our own wives…prayer is the last thing men think of to solve a problem.

My Story

I frequently come home exhausted from work, and the only thing I feel like doing is sitting down on my recliner to relax for a few minutes.  

I love that the my wife and kids are excited that I’m home, but it’s hard to find the energy and emotional bandwidth to give them the attention they need.

The Prayer

Verse 11 of the Lord’s Prayer is where I draw my strength:  

“ Give us today our daily bread.”

Sure, we need the physical stuff, like food, shelter, and money.  But what I’m asking for here is his Spirit to fill me when I come home.

It let’s me rely on God’s strength to love my family, instead of trying to muscle through on my own.

Question

When have you taken special notice of God working when you come home after a long day?

How do you decide which opportunities to take?

Maybe the first thought that came to your mind was money.  Or maybe it was your career.  Then again, it could have been family.

Our values guide our decisions.

The first thing that probably comes to your mind is "family."  You value your family (that's why you listen to this podcast), and it's a real priority for you.  But "family" can seem a little abstract.  

What does it look like in real life when your family is your priority?

It's different for everyone.

And that's okay.  I'm going to share what it looks like for me when I say that family is a priority.

Again, this is what it looks like for me.  For you, it may look different. 

We all have a limited amount of time on Earth, and even less with our family.  Let's use it to make an impact.

Question:  What does your life look like when you live by your values?

No matter where you and your wife are, what clothes you’re wearing, how tired you both are…the night hinges on one thing, and one thing only:  conversation.

As a gentleman, make the conversation something you plan for, whether you google conversation ideas or take the time to figure them out on your own.

Make dating fun again, and start with the conversation.

Where you’re in a bad mood for no good reason?

In this video/episode, I share the cure for the funk.  There’s no podcast this week because of some serious technical difficulties, so I thought I would share via video (who’s up for a little change every now and then right??)

It started when I came home.

I discovered it in the kitchen.

And I was unknowingly taught a valuable lesson the entire time!

Can you and your spouse talk about money?

If you're like most couples, you probably do more arguing than talking when it comes to the budget. That's why I've brought Roger Whitney (a.k.a. the Retirement Answerman) onto the show!

The Cash Flow Bucket System

Roger shares what he calls The Bucket System: a simple method of budgeting that helps you spend less time managing your money, and more time with your family.

Trust me: it has made a tremendous impact on Loretta and I. We went from arguing over who spend what where, to having a quick monthly meeting covering the budget.

Also, he has a free worksheet you can pick up from his Retirement Answer Library to help you switch to the bucket system as well.

Resources.

Roger and I discussed multiple resources in regards to budgeting and retirement. You can find everything we talked about below:

It probably is…depending on whom you ask.

Click to Listen

As a former Marine Corps Infantryman who was deployed to Iraq during the troop surge in Iraq in 2007, I still think back 7 years ago when I hear about the recent crisis in Iraq.

However, I don’t have flashbacks; instead, I have anger, sorrow, and grief. Because before we can help, we must be able to understand. That’s why I’m going to share these three lessons with you, in the hopes that you can also understand.

Pray.

Pray a short, simple prayer for the crisis in Iraq.

“God, please help them” is probably sufficient.

Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts on this situation. My goal is not to shame you for living in the US. Indeed, we’re incredibly blessed. My goal is to encourage you to join the fellowship of believers in praying for the many conflicts in the region.

How do you define success?

Money? Time? Family? Quality of Life? All of the above or none of the above?

Success = Legacy.

If you have the career and the money but no family, is that success?

If you have a family but no career or money to support them, is that success?

My definition of success is less a static definition than it is a picture of what I want my legacy to look like.

I share three areas of my life where I want my legacy the strongest...

No career accomplishments, no dollar amounts, no specific titles or awards.

Question:

Now comes the time to reflect: are my actions, daily and over time, moving me towards that goal or further away?
Are your actions, daily and over time, moving you towards that goal or further away?

Click here to share your answer with me.

Maybe you can't fill in as someone's father,

But you can definitely step up.

It's not about replacing a dad. It's about understanding your impact.

You probably remember some important figures in your life growing up; those that weren't your parents. Close family friends whom your parents trusted, or perhaps a best friend's father who took you under his wing.

You can have the same impact. In fact, you are already having an impact, you just might not be aware of it.

I have someone in my life where I can’t fill in, but I can step up.

It’s sometimes awkward, since they’re not my own. But it’s an expression of gratitude to all of the positive influences I had in my life growing up.

Question:

What child are you impacting, and how can you be more intentional about it? Click here to share your answer with me.

The Difference between Our Identity and Character - and Why It Matters.

How do you find your identity? Is it in what you do? Whom you hang out with? Where you're from? A group you're a part of?

This woman had identity problems, but not like we think.

Ruth had a major problem - she was foreigner in Israel. Maybe that's too tame - she was an alien, and everyone she met knew that she wasn't an Israelite. In fact, they knew she was from Moab (which wasn't a good thing).

Her identity was assigned to her by her surroundings - in this case, Israel gave her the negative identity associated with Moabites.

Not as Naomi's daughter-in-law.

But as "Ruth, the Moabite."

However, her character was something different. So different, that people around town knew all about it. How could you not appreciate the character of someone who leaves everything they've ever known to follow their widowed mother-in-law to a country where she wasn't all that welcome??

Ruth's character valued TOTAL commitment. Something to admire? Absolutely. But our character should come from Christ.

Our identity is IN Christ - our character comes FROM Christ.

Question:

How has Christ changed your character? Click here here to share your answer with me.

I was hanging out with our two daughters like any other time, but this time it was different.

It's much more than your standard "how-to" guide to being present. In fact, it's not about external activities, like turning off your phone, etc.

Instead, it's about what's going on in your own head.  

I share the two parts to the attitude of being present:

1. FOCUS on what's in front of me (and I don't mean just the physical aspect)

2. IGNORE what's next.

### Question:

How do you manage the tension between being in the present and thinking about the future?  Let me know by going to [philipdevine.com/42][4] and [leave your answer][4] in the comments section.