By Amanda Katherine
Welcome home, bbs! The Live Your F*ck Yes Life podcast is your place for all things real talk & conscious conversations around shit that really f*cking matters.
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The podcast currently has 171 episodes available.
We’re finally doing it — an episode dedicated to all things demisexuality!
Understanding demisexuality was the lightbulb I needed in fully understanding myself and how/why my attraction has looked like the way it has. I always felt … weird. Different. And I didn’t understand why I didn’t experience that initial intense physical attraction towards someone, ever.
In todays episode, we dive into my personal flavor of demisexuality, how I’ve adapted my dating practices to align with my unique needs and all about the lightbulb switch that has everything to do with my attraction needs.
THINGS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:
Episode 160
The Podcast Instagram
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities
One of the most common things I get asked by you all is how I’m really doing post / during my divorce, and I get it. I haven’t really talked about how I’m doing in a direct way regarding this particular piece of my story and while that’s been intentional — I realized that not doing so was also a disservice to all of you and to this process.
If there’s anything I’ve realized through this experience, it’s that there are not a lot of blueprints out there on how to navigate the process of a divorce. What you might expect. Shit you might face.
I thought I could have predicted what the last year and half would look like. And I was wrong. It’s been a rollercoaster. One that I’m finally sharing more about on todays episode.
If you are going through a divorce or a de-escalation, please give yourself some grace. This shit is hard. Complicated. Messy. And if you know someone going through either, reach out to them and tell them you’re there.
PS: my neighbors downstairs were having what sounded like a rave during the only time I had to record this so, enjoy the weird ambient music LOL
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities
Did I ever think I’d have a former partner, a queer platonic partner and a platonic life partner together for an in depth conversation around all things queerness? If you had told me a few years ago, I would have been like hell no. I didn’t even know platonic partnership could be a thing back then. AND to have former partners of mine want to participate in my world and be willing to navigate the nuance and intricacies of de-escalation alongside of me while also witnessing me in partnership? I imagined it — hoped for it — but to have it realized is such a gift.
I love these humans. They are some of my most treasured folks in my inner constellation of loved ones. I have learned so much from being in partnership and in sphere with Rach (she/her), Kels (they/them) and Kristen (she/her). And I am just so f*cking excited to share this conversation with one of you.
It might just be my favorite episode to date.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
queer-ness as a celebration of anti-normative living and being
the idea of hierarchy and the variety of what commitment can look like in relationships
romantic, platonic relationships
internalized homophobia
the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality
how the patriarchy and comp het impacts queer dynamics
and a shit ton of goofy energy and personal stories
CONNECT WITH KRISTEN, RACH & KELS:
Instagram: Kristen | Rach | Kels
LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off
Episode 100: This Is Pride (We’re Here And We’re Queer)
Rachels previous episodes: Episode 148: Platonic Intimacy & Why We Really Went On A Break | Episode 86 | Episode 64: How Fluid id Sexuality Anyways? | Episode 51: Breaking the Stigma of Therapy | Episode 37: The Truth About Anxiety | Episode 9
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : 60 mins | 90 mins
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
This is my fifth pride out as a queer person, and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t felt at a loss on how to being to find queer community. Part of queer-ness isn’t just going from thinking you’re straight to knowing you’re queer and then voila, you’ve got the queer life of your dreams. It’s a whirlwind of unpacking comp het, going through queer puberty (I used to scoff at the idea of this but it’s a thing), and finding where you feel the most at home and yourself in your queerness.
Not to mention getting your brain unf*cked from the patriarchy.
These are conversations I have in my own circles, often, and I’m so grateful to have someone like Rainn in my own life to learn from and converse with. And I’m even more stoked that they agreed to come on the pod for us to have one of these conversations with all of you.
If you aren’t familiar with Rainn (She/They), she is a Black lesbian artist and writer living in Chicago. She’s the Host and Co-Organizer of Fruit Salad, a monthly queer open mic. Her writing has appeared in several online publications, and her second poetry chapbook, “In our hands, citrus” will be released later this year. Her artwork has appeared at Co-Prosperity Sphere, The Whistler, The Robin in the Martin, and The Franklin.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
how the fuck to make queer friends
their queer timeline and how she’s navigated all things non monogamy, internalized homophobia and de-escalations in their relationships
why lesbianism means so much to her
how to know where you belong
local artist & queer community, and the way she’s personally contributing to it with Fruit Salad
all things chosen family, sapphic love, power dynamics in relationships and beyond
ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:
Get 40% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes
Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Rainn’s Instagram
Fruit Salad | Dorothy Downstairs | The Martin
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : 60 mins | 90 mins
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
CW: sexual assault, harassment
“Something is wrong with me.” Words I used to think and say out loud all the damn time when I wasn’t feeling turned on enough or when I felt pain during sex or when I started having sex with vulva owners and had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
If only I’d known about how trauma and living in a culture rooted in the patriarchy can impact our own body’s (and thus selves) ability to access our own needs for consent, our own voice and access our own desires.
In todays very raw and incredibly important episode, I’m so honored to be joined by Mariah Freya (she/her), co-founder and CEO of Beducated — the worlds leading online shame free sex education platform — to deep dive into all of this and more.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
our shared experience with sexual trauma and how that has impacted our sex lives and capacity for pleasure
cultivating safety in sex
Mariah’s dangerous experience in the tantric community
how big tech is intentionally getting in the way of shame free sex education
dissociation and PTSD responses during / around sex
ways to deepen into your pleasure with intention
navigating low libido, pelvic floor pain, cults, punk culture and beyond
ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:
Get 50% off yearly pass for Beducated — use code: fuckyes
Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel :)
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Mariah’s Instagram | Beducated’s Instagram — use code “fuckyes”
NXIVM documentary the Vow
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Patreon to support the pod
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses
Well, fuck, this episode means the world to me and I am just so damn grateful to get to introduce you all beyond the gram to my queer platonic partner, Kels (they/them).
I’ve loved cultivating this partnership over the last year of my life. They mean the absolute world to me, and finding our way into what we are today has been a journey — one that I’m very proud of, and one that we get into the nitty gritty of in this conversation.
Relationships don’t have to be sexual to be partnerships. Period. Our relationship continues to show me the depth and epic nature of platonic intimacy. And how epic and nuanced queer love is. How our queer love is. And I’m so deeply honored to get to share a little big piece of this love of mine with all of you.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
the story of our love and how we’ve evolved into what we are today
the different types of attraction
the fear/complexities of building the blueprint of non-traditional relationships like ours
the overlap of the non monogamous and queer communities
what our queer platonic partnership looks like in practice
queer-ing your relationships, identity, top surgery, queer/gender expression & beyond
LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance
WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Patreon — donate to support the pod, content etc.
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
You probably know them as the trio that started the Multiamory podcast, and I’m so honored to know them as peers, friends and colleagues. When they reached out to let me know that their book was getting ready to be released and that they wanted to come on the podcast to share, it was an easy f*ck yes.
If you are new to these incredible humans, Jase, Emily, and Dedeker have spent the last decade raising awareness, providing approachable resources, and combat the stigma faced by people in non-traditional relationships. Today, with hundreds of episodes, millions of downloads around the world, and a rapidly growing community, they are dedicated to offering practical advice and communication tools, grounded in the latest relationship research, guest experts, and years of professional experience.
I’m so grateful for them and their commitment to this work. And if you happen to be experiencing them for the first time via this podcast, I’m so stoked to introduce you to all things Multiamory.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
what their work in the relationship sphere has taught them most about their own experience in relationships
why there’s been a surge of folks stepping into non monogamy the last few years
what tools in the book that they personally use the most
how it’s okay to breakup
navigating conflict, PTSD and somatic support, praise kinks, fighting for visibility & beyond!
CONNECT WITH EMILY, JASE & DEDEKER:
Get the Multiamory book - preorder today, available 5/23/23
Multiamory’s Instagram | Tik Tok
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Dedeker’s original episode
Ambiamory
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Patreon to support the pod
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
Is hierarchy in relationships ethical? A very important question that folks in non monogamous and monogamous relationships alike have been asking and unpacking and holy balls, do we have a lot to say about this subject.
I’ve had a WILD ride when it comes to hierarchy in relationships since I was in high school. Although I didn’t have the language at the time (and internal knowing and understanding that I could exist in any other ways), I’ve always been a queer, ambiamorous, demisexual relationship anarchist. AND I also externally looked like I was existing in and choosing a wildly heteronormative, “traditional” relationship that appeared very hierarchical. And yet, it wasn’t that at all.
Today, we talk about, simply, if hierarchical relationships are ethical.
Hint: (you guessed it), my answer is clear and also nuanced, ‘cause there are so many systems and structures in place in western society that makes this answer much more complicated than a hard YES or NO.
And, as always, I share what experiences I navigated in rectifying with these things in my own personal unlearning process around all things toxic monogamy culture, the patriarchy, heteronormativity and beyond. Let’s get the f*ck into it.
LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:
Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off / proceeds go to the Brave Space Alliance
WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Patreon — donate to support the pod, content etc.
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
SHE’S BACK!!! And holy balls is this conversation juicy AF.
If you’re newer to the pod, Jordan Shomer (she/her) is a friend, colleague and our very own resident astrologer. Jordan is a Queer Jewish intuitive astrologer who recognizes the patterns and puzzles of astrology and synthesizes them into stories that land on your heart. She believes that within the map of the stars lives a blueprint to healing and guidebook to growth. She is passionate about holding space for you to greet yourself in all your cosmic glory. And f*ck me, is she pure magic.
Every time we have Jordan on, I get full body chills. And in preparation for todays episode, I listened back to the episode we last did in December 2021 and when I tell you every. thing. that. she. predicated. came. true.
And in true to form of our previous episodes, I got hella fucking emotional and am brimming with gratitude for this conversation, and I know you will feel it too. And learn SO much about what’s to come and where we’re moving from as a collective, so you can come home to yourself as the uniquely beautiful individual you are.
Things we talk about in todays episode:
owning and embodying our intuitive witchy selves
your sun, moon and rising signs in astrology
setting boundaries and navigating the patriarchal culture in our intimate relationships
saturn returns, what to expect, and how Amanda’s coincided with the downfall of her marriage
standing in your power and coming home to your wholehearted self
anti-capitalism, what to expect astrologically speaking in 2023, finding the magic in the mess, breaking the binary, some personal updates & beyond
CONNECT WITH JORDAN:
Jordans Instagram | Newsletter
Book a reading with Jordan
Moon gatherings
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off
Jordans previous episodes: episode 76, episode 111
The 7 spiritual laws of success by Deepak Choprah
Alok V Menon
All About love
Thousand Miles (feat. Brandi Carlisle) by Miley Cyrus
WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Fucking Queer Merch — 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits
Patreon to support the pod
Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox
I dropped the “I don’t identify as polyamorous anymore” bomb a few months ago & I’m finally sharing the behind the scenes of why I arrived there. I promise you, it’s not what many folks think. So let’s get the fuck into it, bbs.
Some things I talk about in todays episode:
The mess and the magic of sifting through identity markers to figure out who the fuck you are
My own process of feeling seen within the label of ambiamory and what it means
The collective cry around breaking the binary, and what that has looked like for my own journey
My unique timeline of queer liberation, relationship anarchy, demisexuality, divorce & coming home to my deepest knowing
Critical thinking & navigating the nuance of humanity
Sifting through the balance of rejecting, at my core, the patriarchy & capitalism while finding ways to flow within the structures we currently have to operate within
Witchy astrology queer shit, somatic healing, trauma and nervous system recovery, gender fluidity & expression and beyond.
LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:
Who I am Updated Instagram post
Ambiamory definition
Episode 151: Let’s Talk Relationship Anarchy
Episode 134: I’m Addicted To You Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic Monogamy
WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:
Patreon - support the pod & join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level
Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok
Join email list for occasional nudges, offerings and love.
The podcast currently has 171 episodes available.