Livin' What You're Given

Karen DeArmond Gardner is a survivor of thirty years in a marriage where she was verbally, emotionally and at times physically abused. She talks about how her own work of writing a book, speaking to others and helping to educate communities around the issue of domestic abuse, has been helpful for her own growth and healing.

She points out that churches are not always equipped to deal with this issue.  She states it is better to go to shelters, support groups, therapy and advocates who will listen and point victims to the resources needed to begin living life apart from the abuser. Karen also says that social media can have groups that may be helpful. She gives us some practical steps when attempting to help those we may encounter who are in the situation.

Karen's work in her book, link listed below, has not only helped her to heal and move forward in the aftermath of domestic abuse, but she shares stories of how telling her story has helped others. She calls our attention to the fact that when we judge women for not leaving, we need to understand there are reasons why they do not feel they can leave. Her book emphasizes the process of healing and the very real difficulties women can face when choosing to leave the abusive relationship.

She also states that experiencing the love of God and understanding that it was never His plan for women to be abused was a tremendous addition to her healing. Although most of us grew up with thinking that saving a marriage regardless of cost to a partner in that union, it is a false narrative.

To learn more about Karen's ministry and find resources visit Amazon and find her book.  Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God's Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner.

Visit her website at: Another One Free website https://anotheronefree.com/

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com/

Today, my guest, author and speaker Lori Ann Wood, discusses where her story of a divine detour has taken her and how sharing her story has helped other people. After discovering she had end-stage heart failure, she began to ask the questions of God that we are trained not to ask. This is a follow up to our original interview that took place on March 8, 2023 called, "Involuntary Tide Turning." Please feel free to go back and listen to that for more of her backstory.

Her journey began nine years ago and she says it has been up, down and anything but linear. During this time, she encountered so many faith questions as she found she was not the only person who was on a detour and had questions as well. She says people are looking for similarities and when we find that we are not alone, it becomes easier to bear life's difficulties and especially those detours we didn't plan on. 

Lori Ann says she was afraid to ask questions because she was sure she would break the fragile faith base that was handed off to her from her mother. She was concerned that she would lose her faith if she got in, dug around and asked the hard questions about what was happening to her. She tiptoed into asking questions when she had nothing to share with blog subscribers, friends and family in terms of good news.

Quoting Romans 8:8 which says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them," she began to wonder if God was true to His word. She asked why she was seeing things in her life as not working out for what she considered to be to the good.

She asked questions like, "Is this all there is? And is God really good?" As she wrote her story and talked to others she began to hear others ask the same questions. Accepting that this situation did not make sense and she may not see problems resolved in this life helped her to move forward.

She wrote her book, "Divine Detour: The path you'd never choose can lead to the faith you've always wanted," in a short story format. That proved to be helpful to other people because when people are in pain and confusion, their attention span is very short, as was hers initially. People have reached out and said her story resonated and began to share stories in texts and emails. She now saw the burden was being made lighter (not taking difficulties away) for her and others.  This gives people permission to ask and wrestle with their own questions. 

Lori states that sharing stories of our lives and trials, we can trace the thread of God's grace throughout mankind's history. We are all in a bigger story than just our own lives. Our chapter in God's story is being used for a bigger purpose. Even though we may not get the ending we would like, Lori Ann emphasizes that the story does not end when we take our last breath.

To reach out to Lori Ann, find her books or other resources please go to https://loriannwood.com/

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com

In a rare presentation of a solo episode, I talk about my philosophy that we can indeed learn to love, speak and walk with dignity, even in a world where winning at all costs is everything. Pulling from real-life experience, I share a story from my 2018 publication "Jesus in Shorts: Twenty-five Short Stories of Life-Changing Jesus Moments."

The lead story in that collection of short stories is one about almost losing a life-long friend because of my insistence on being right.  While in the dentist's chair, I learned a valuable lesson about trying to talk intelligently with my tongue numbed. In short it is dangerous and harmful, not only to others but to myself as well.

Being led into God's Truth about the danger of an unbridled tongue, (James 3:8), I was also led to make an amends to someone I hurt, and accept her amends to me.  A lesson I share in hopes of helping others realize they are not perfect and sometimes we can hurt others. But there is redemption in the form of forgiveness in God’s love. That truth will help make us bold enough to ask forgiveness from one we may have hurt, and accept the amends of one who has hurt us.

For more of my short stories, please consider purchasing a copy of my first short story anthology (title listed above) which is available for purchase on my website or on Amazon.  You can also find short stories on my blog on my website at 
https://lauralpadgett.com/

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

Please note:  This is a rebroadcast of an episode that I ran in 2023. Because we are still in the political chaos, or perhaps worse, I feel it is important for us to remember that we can have a voice, we can turn this tide and we can bring unity to our beautiful U.S.A. by turning from the chaos to the reasonable and unifying voices. 

 I was excited to sit down with former senator and house representative, Don Coram, from the Western Slope of Colorado today. Our conversation focused on a frank and honest discussion about how we can begin to turn from toxic political division in America, and toward unity and healthy discourse with civility. 

When asked how we, in the USA, have gotten to this point of malignant polarization, Senator Coram offered his opinion based on his experience as a lawmaker and a citizen. He tells us that we now have elected officials who are being rewarded for bad behavior. We've turned a blind eye to the fact that these people are not concerned about the future of this country, or the issues we are facing, but rather on making a name for themselves.

When asked how we can fix this situation, he replied that when the voters get sick of the extremists on both sides running the show, we will become more involved in the changes that need to be made. He encourages people to get involved by having dialogues with people who think differently. Calling on his own experience in authoring bipartisan bills in the Colorado chambers of government, he believes that regardless of party, most of us see things the same way about 80% of the time.

One of Senator Coram’s passions is educating our youth on our history, all of that. He calls this education without indoctrination and reminds us that if we do not know our history (especially the not so pretty parts of it), we are bound to repeat our mistakes.

Some of the organizations that are helping to spread the word on unity over party are listed below along with their websites. Also listed below is contact information for  our musician, Gabriel Tafoya.

 Unify America at https://www.unifyamerica.org/

Unify Montrose at https://www.unifymontrose.org/

Restore the Balance at https://www.restorethebalance.org/

Country First at https://www.country1st.com/

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

 
Note:  This is a rebroadcast of the episode with Kevin Kuns in July of 2023. Because we seem to be in the same or worse political situation than when this was first recorded, I felt it worth a revisit of the wisdom, strength and hope in the words of people like Kevin Kuns.

Drawing from personal experiences of living in different countries, having a diverse employment background, running successful companies and being involved in the Colorado Democratic Party, my guest today, Kevin Kuns and I explore how we can turn the tide on the toxic political landscape we are now living in. We also discuss what the word "patriot means" and how that word is being used against our groups of citizens today.

Kevin helps us identify some ways we have become polarized politically, what is dividing us and how we can begin to walk into unification beyond our differences. He shares his experiences on the campaign trail when he was running for office to represent District 58, on the Western Slope of Colorado. One of the things that impressed him most was that people he spoke with were not angry about issues. They were angry and frustrated by not being heard.

He stresses that a lot of people in the USA are moving away from extremism and the divisiveness that are threatening our democracy. He says we need to move into dialogue and listening to each other, while understanding we all pretty much have the same values and respecting each other's right to hold different opinions.

By way of encouraging us to be in conversation and respect for each other, he referenced a book called, "A Bigger Table," by John Pavlovitz. This book is available on Amazon Books.

Besides the ideas above, Kevin encourages us to check out some of the organizations around the USA dedicated to restoring civility and offering all voices a chance to be at the table. Some resources for finding and/or participating in these organizations are found below.

Unify America at https://www.unifyamerica.org/

Unify Montrose at https://www.unifymontrose.org/

Restore the Balance at https://www.restorethebalance.org/

Country First at https://www.country1st.com/

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

In March in 2015, Maya Haynes' daughter Caitlyn completed suicide because of bullying. After her death, Cait's peers came forward and told Maya and her husband that they had witnessed the bullying and did not know what to do. Many had reported the bullying incidents, but there was no action taken.

Instead of becoming angry, bitter, and vengeful, Maya turned grief, pain, and loss into a direction of helping other kids who are being bullied, those witnessing the situations, as well as those who are doing the bullying. She created P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization developed to help kids, parents and educators learn more about bullying vs. conflict management. The acronym stands for positive, encouraging, empathetic and respectful. By providing these tools to all involved (including those kids who are witnesses to this behavior), it is hoped that we can curtail the incidences of kids mistreating each other.

The group started out with a small board meeting in a local coffee shop. Now, nine years later, P.E.E.R. Kindness has their own building, is in four states and serves as a resource for anyone who needs help in navigating the world of bullying, whether is a student, parent and/or educator. Being a small organization, they are unable to reach all who may need these services. So, Maya and her team have created a tool called, PK (P.E.E.R. Kindness) in a box. They send this out to folks who ask for help where they may not have access to this in their city, state, or geographical area.


Maya says that her healing process has been helped by hearing the stories of others. And this work of helping others heal has helped her move forward too. She says that feeling like we are not alone is important to moving through the loss and hard work of grief.

Being a small organization, Maya and her team have created a tool called, PK (P.e.e.r. Kindness) in a box. They send this out to people asking for help where they may not have access to this in their city, state or geographical area.

To learn more about P.E.E.R. Kindness, how to contact them and get resources, go to https://www.peerkindness.net

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

In 1989, Jerry Schemmel survived the airplane crash of United Airlines Flight 232 that landed in a field in Sioux City, Iowa. In 1996, he wrote a book called "Chosen to Live" detailing not only the disastrous incident itself, but also his journey of healing afterward. Jerry does not allow this incident to define him, but he thinks about it as a way to share his personal testimony of finding help, strength, and hope through a personal relationship with Jesus.

In my first interview with Jerry, he said during the excruciating minutes prior to the plane's touchdown, he tried to keep himself calm so he would not panic (if he lived) and would be able to help others. That statement of helping others became one of the foundational elements of this podcast. Storytelling to help others in their time of disaster and/or loss, difficulties and life circumstances became the point of continuing “Livin' What You're Given.”

Today Jerry and I explore how sharing our stories in life have helped us heal and help others heal too. We also talk about the value of encouraging other people to share their stories because we can learn and lean on each other in times of challenges and trials.

His publications, speaking engagements and media appearances have been aimed at doing just that. Jerry says, "Everyone has a plane crash." And when we find ourselves in pain, loss, disaster or difficulties, stories like what Jerry shares here can help us find peace, help, strength and hope to continue living the life God has blessed us with.

To find Jerry's book, go to Amazon and put "Chosen to Live" in the search line. Also check out his latest publication "The Extravagant Gift" also available on Amazon. If you are a bicycle enthusiast, watch for his devotional book for cyclist which will be available soon.
 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Gwendolyn Burton is an author, teacher, speaker, and certified grief educator. But mostly she is an authentic voice for those who are experiencing grief and loss, as she has suffered one of the toughest losses known to humans - the loss of a child. 

Through her work and in this interview, she discusses how she began to heal and move forward from her loss. She speaks about finding help by hearing the stories of others which helped her to see she was not alone. By encouraging herself and others to express what is really going on, even several months or years after the loss, she began to see how many times we just try to move on without dealing with the true feelings of our situation. 

She states that while we might offer others space and grace in the journey of healing, we may not always offer that to ourselves. According to Gwendolyn, offering ourselves that space and grace is the beginning of our healing on the grief road. Giving ourselves permission to grieve and sometimes grieve deeply honors ourselves and our loved ones. 

She emphasizes that we should not put God in a box by not allowing ourselves to see signs around us that tell us our loved one is okay. She says God can and does minister to us through signs and symbols that we will miss if we are practicing strict "religiosity" as a means of communicating with God. She also encourages us to drop our fear around talking about the ways God sends signs to comfort us in our grief. 

Gwendolyn tells us that one of the things she has learned and teaches others as she ministers in this area is empathy. She says empathy is essential to move forward in our grief journey and to help others move forward in theirs as well.

To learn more about Gwendolyn Burton, including her ministry and publications, go to  https://www.gwendolynoburton.com

 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

We are starting our fourth season of "Livin' What You're Given". The rest of 2024, I want to explore the effects of storytelling. In this episode I talk about why our stories matter.  They have been given to us so we can share them to encourage other as they walk their stories as well as help others along the way in their own journeys.

I open this season by explaining why this podcast has not been offered for the past several months. In telling the reason for my absence, I have told a story of loss and grief.

In this and subsequent episodes I want to explore where the stories of my guests have gone to help others. Each guest I have invited on, has a unique story of life experiences. I have tried to select diverse stories and encouraging messages around why sharing our story is not only help for others, but for ourselves as well.

Some of the guests on my show this season have been guests before. Some have not. But whether you have heard from them before or not, all their experiences will touch your heart and remind you of the value of sharing stories.

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

Today in this solo podcast episode, the last one of 2023 and the last one for a few months, I want to talk about letting go of idolizing the past. We cannot move forward, if we insist on focusing on the past. The tendency to retro reach (trying to recapture and relive the past at the expense of the now and the future) is a prescription for unhappiness.

Through a personal, and humorous story, I share how we can get the wrong idea of who God is and proceed with that idea until we find ourselves disillusioned and disappointed. As we move into 2024, letting go of 2023, may we see that each day ahead is ordained by God. And by insisting on finding value only in what is behind us, is a form of disillusion and will lead to disappointment.

I am praying my listeners are ready to let go of the past and not see it as something it is not and probably never was. I pray that many of the stories in these three years of Livin' What You're Given will of benefit in dropping the focus on the past, releasing the years that have come and gone, and paving the way for a healthy way forward.

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com