Livin' What You're Given

Please note:  This is a re-broadcast of an earlier episode that was taped and aired in 2021. The subject is domestic abuse, and because it is October (National Domestic Violence Awareness Month), I wanted to air this again. The topic follows my September episodes on bullying. Domestic abuse is in fact one of the most commonly seen areas of bullying because it relies upon the unequal power structure.

The dates and times mentioned in this episode are from September of 2021. But the message is one we need to hear often as it is not going away, and in some ways the problems are worse.

 Karen DeArmond Gardner is an authentic voice in the area of domestic abuse, having lived thirty years in a marriage where her husband was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. In this first of a two part interview, she shares what she learned, when she decided to leave but mostly how she, with the love of her family and relearning about the  love of God, began her healing journey. Today she is living a life of freedom in a new marriage of eleven years, and  is helping educate and advocate for those still living in intimate terrorism.

Karen tells of the defining moment when she realized she had had enough and that she needed to get out of the home. She helps us understand what domestic abuse or intimate terrorism really is, why we cannot always recognize it and in what ways the church and society fail women due to distorted doctrine and lack of resources. According to Karen, leaving is just the beginning and not the end of healing from the trauma of an abusive marital relationship.

Tune in as she candidly unpacks the truths, myths and processes in the traumatic time after making the decision to leave. She has written a book that she states is not a how to book. Rather it is a Biblical-based guide to rediscovering the love of God and relearning that He indeed loves us and can be trusted to keep His promises.

The Safe House – Your Safer Place app is on both IOS and Android.

Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God's Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner  available at Amazon.com or on
Another One Free website https://anotheronefree.com


The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

"Before you hate, think of Cait." This is the statement that began P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization started by our guest, Maya Haynes, after her teenage daughter Cait completed suicide in 2015.

In the second part of this two-part series on turning the tide on bullying, my guest Maya Haynes and I discuss some of the tools her organization PEER Kindness utilizes to help identify this behavior and take steps to change it. She and her team go into schools and out into communities to share what can be done to identify, intervene and report such behavior.

Talking with students, educators and parents, as well as various entities like churches, she empowers those who are being bullied, those who are watching this and the families dealing with the person who bullies and the one who is bullied. She also shares some insights into why people bully. We discuss the examples many adults display and thereby make bullying behaviors seem acceptable.

She gave one example of being able to help a young man who had been displaying bullying behaviors for many years. They did this by working with equine therapy to teach compassion. This was a turning point for this young man's life as well as his family's. Giving details of resources and services offered by PEER Kindness, Maya emphasizes the need to address all aspects of bullying with coaching, counseling and various therapies depending upon individual and family needs. She also reminds us that we do indeed need each other to accomplish a safer school and community environment for everyone.

We talked, at length, about young people in our society witnessing the way adults treat each other with unkindness and incivility. Then, seeing those behaviors as examples of how to disagree and/or communicate, they put these tactics into practice too. Whether we admit it or not, young people watch and often imitate the behaviors of the adults in their lives. She offers some practical steps to help us return to civility in our interactions as adults, so we can better help our kids to interact with civility in their relationships as well.

 Find out more information about P.E.E.R. Kindness and connect with Maya Haynes, or find resources to start turning the tide on bullying in your area, go to:
https://www.peerkindness.net/

To connect with Laura Padgett, host of this podcast, go to
  https://lauralpadgett.com/

To check out music from April Metzler, go to
https://aprildmetzler.com/home/music

"Before you hate, think of Cait." This is the statement that began P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization started by our guest, Maya Haynes, after her teenage daughter Cait completed suicide in 2015.

I am joined today by Maya Haynes, the mother of a young woman who in her teens completed suicide as a result of being bullied. Sharing from her own experiences during and since that time, she tells us that many of the kids who observed this behavior toward her daughter had reported it, with no results. Therefore, even though they witnessed it, they did not know what to do.

From the voices of her daughter's classmates and other community members, Maya formed P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization dedicated to helping communities combat bullying behaviors by helping both those bullied as well as those who bully others. They offer tools, education and support to students, teachers, parents and community members who are trying to turn the tide in bullying situations. Her goal is to increase that percentage by helping students feel empowered to stand up for their fellow students.

Maya shares the concerns of students and parents who are asking, "What is bullying, what is not? When do I step in, when do I not? What is normal conflict?" She related a classic example of cruel, repetitive behavior toward her daughter that demonstrates what bullying clearly looks like. While teaching the students what to say and do, she states that 57% of bullying stops when peers intervene by saying, "Stop that. We don't do that here." She wants to increase that percentage. She says that for both the one who stands up and the one who is being bullied, there is a change in the way they see themselves, feel empowered and this can change the culture where the bullying is being perpetrated.

Maya shares many tips and tools in this episode for turning the tide on the bullying epidemic in our schools, communities, country and world.


Find out more information about P.E.E.R. Kindness and connect with Maya Haynes, or find resources to start turning the tide on bullying in your area, go to:
https://www.peerkindness.net/

To connect with Laura Padgett, host of this podcast, go to
  https://lauralpadgett.com/

To check out music from April Metzler, go to
https://aprildmetzler.com/home/music

Today, I’m joined by Annie Perdue-Olson, a certified coach with a Masters of Arts in Human Resources and Change Leadership.  Annie has fifteen years in her current coaching work of helping leaders and teams be healthier in their relationships and workplace processes. In this episode Annie stresses the impact of three particular issues in leadership roles. Those are feeling overwhelmed, dealing with people problems and facing testing of confidence.

Overwhelmed feelings can impact personal and spiritual health in a negative way when leaders and/or team members do not balance the tension between the product and people's needs. She encourages leaders to know themselves, their strengths and brilliance. She encourages us to slow down sometimes, get mentors, meditate and play. She talks about her own experiences but acknowledges that everyone reacts to being overwhelmed differently. In her practice she uses various assessment tools to help her clients see their strengths.

Annie tells us that grace is a big part of being a good and effective leader. Instead of being in control of outcomes we need to practice grace and understanding that others are not perfect and neither are we. People problems can often be avoided by understanding grace and not expecting others to be just like us. She emphasizes that when we let go of outcomes, we can avoid the heaviness of the burden to change others.

While addressing the testing of our confidence, she encourages us to shift or pivot in mindset and let go of negative messages. She tells us to view ourselves in view of God's grace and love, not through the lens of not being able to complete tasks or lead effectively. She says that confidence is built, sustained and restored (when lost) by reflecting on those times when we have experienced victories and felt like we have accomplished what we set out to do.

To learn more of Annie's amazing and powerful work, visit her website at https://www.leadingbettertogether.com.  This is a one-stop shopping spot for hearing her podcast episodes from "Lead Your Leaders" Podcast, reading her blogs and finding her social media as well as seeing all she offers in her business of coaching leaders.

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

Do you ever feel you are in a rut? Today, my friend and fellow Christian podcaster, Jerry Dugan, joins me as we discuss the definition of being in a rut. As host of the podcast, "Beyond the Rut" Jerry helps us identify when we are in a rut and how to get out, and beyond it. He explains that being in a rut is doing the same activities day-after-day, week-after-week, and feeling unproductive. There's no passion or excitement in the rut. We are just sort of on autopilot. It usually starts with a gut feeling of just  being stuck.

He tells us that we can count on being clueless when the rut is sneaking up on us. Calling on his own experience, he explains that in 2022 he knew his work was not going to be lasting or leave a legacy despite high salaried employment. When entering work, the following week, he saw that his life was going nowhere professionally and he didn't know he was in a rut until he came face-to-face with the toxicity of his work place. He began to evaluate his life and take steps to move out of the stagnation he felt in his work environment.

He asks us to evaluate our lives from five F's, and he explains what each one means.
Faith
Family
Fitness
Finances
Future growth

Jerry has a powerful and inspiring story that is based in authenticity. He encourages us to go forward out of the rut by identifying that we are in a rut, first of all, and understanding that we do have choices, even if they may seem a little scary. His experience of being unhappy and unproductive in his work situation is familiar and relatable for many of us.

Placing emphasis on his personal responsibility to get out of his rut, as well as listening to those closest to him, Jerry talks about the path he forged to go forward. He has changed his life and the lives of many others by his example. He encourages us to resist defining ourselves by our title or income in the workplace but rather by what we want to be known for. He reminds us that "Life is just too darn short to live stuck in a rut."

Jerry is very generous with his time and talents when it comes to helping others find their passions and purpose in life. He gives us some practical steps to address the five F's above and how to take steps to remedy areas where we are not feeling fulfilled.


To get a copy of Jerry's Book, "Beyond the Rut: Create a Life Worth Living in Your Faith, Family, and Career" go to Amazon at  https://amzn.to/3LPykN4

Jerry is also offering this in audio book form for listeners of “Livin' What You're Given” for free at https://beyondtherut.com/audiobook

To check out Jerry Dugan's website go to https://beyondtherut.com/

To connect with Stephen Ray Watts from the band Dotsero Praise Fellowship go to https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

I was excited to sit down with former senator and house representative, Don Coram, from the Western Slope of Colorado today. Our conversation focused on a frank and honest discussion about how we can begin to turn from toxic political division in America, and toward unity and healthy discourse with civility. 

When asked how we, in the USA, have gotten to this point of malignant polarization, Senator Coram offered his opinion based on his experience as a lawmaker and a citizen. He tells us that we now have elected officials who are being rewarded for bad behavior. We've turned a blind eye to the fact that these people are not concerned about the future of this country, or the issues we are facing, but rather on making a name for themselves.

When asked how we can fix this situation, he replied that when the voters get sick of the extremists on both sides running the show, we will become more involved in the changes that need to be made. He encourages people to get involved by having dialogues with people who think differently. Calling on his own experience in authoring bipartisan bills in the Colorado chambers of government, he believes that regardless of party, most of us see things the same way about 80% of the time.

One of Senator Coram’s passions is educating our youth on our history, all of that. He calls this education without indoctrination and reminds us that if we do not know our history (especially the not so pretty parts of it), we are bound to repeat our mistakes.

Some of the organizations that are helping to spread the word on unity over party are listed below along with their websites. Also listed below is contact information for our sponsor today, the Coffee Trader and our musician, Gabriel Tafoya.


 Unify America at https://www.unifyamerica.org/

Unify Montrose at https://www.unifymontrose.org/

Restore the Balance at https://www.restorethebalance.org/

Country First at https://www.country1st.com/

To visit the website of our sponsor for this program, Coffee Trader, go to https://www.thecoffeetrader.com/

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

Drawing from personal experiences of living in different countries, having a diverse employment background, running successful companies and being involved in the Colorado Democratic Party, my guest today, Kevin Kuns and I explore how we can turn the tide on the toxic political landscape we are now living in. We also discuss what the word "patriot means" and how that word is being used against our groups of citizens today.

Kevin helps us identify some ways we have become polarized politically, what is dividing us and how we can begin to walk into unification beyond our differences. He shares his experiences on the campaign trail when he was running for office to represent District 58, on the Western Slope of Colorado. One of the things that impressed him most was that people he spoke with were not angry about issues. They were angry and frustrated by not being heard.

He stresses that a lot of people in the USA are moving away from extremism and the divisiveness that are threatening our democracy. He says we need to move into dialogue and listening to each other, while understanding we all pretty much have the same values and respecting each other's right to hold different opinions.

By way of encouraging us to be in conversation and respect for each other, he referenced a book called, "A Bigger Table," by John Pavlovitz. This book is available on Amazon Books.

Besides the ideas above, Kevin encourages us to check out some of the organizations around the USA dedicated to restoring civility and offering all voices a chance to be at the table. Some resources for finding and/or participating in these organizations are found below.

Unify America at https://www.unifyamerica.org/

Unify Montrose at https://www.unifymontrose.org/

Restore the Balance at https://www.restorethebalance.org/

Country First at https://www.country1st.com/

To visit the website of our sponsor for this program, Coffee Trader, go to https://www.thecoffeetrader.com/

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

Mary Hess is the host of the Back Forty Podcast, where she shares stories of people who are navigating the second half of life. She gives examples of topics she is sharing to offer truths and hope as well as the message that we are not alone in some of the changes, struggles and joys of living life in the back forty.

Mary says that her generation, which is generation X, was the one that began talking about the things her boomer parents just did not discuss. Mary wants us to know we do not need to fear the aging process. She reminds us that the Lord used lots of people when they were older or even what we now consider elderly.

She says we still have so much to give as older people. But, to withhold our knowledge and wisdom of what we have learned along the way, is not fair to the generations coming along behind us. God asks us to leave a legacy as older men and women, by sharing and teaching younger men and women.

Mary believes that many of the topics she is talking about on her podcast episodes typically were not discussed or talked about previously. And she thinks they should be talked about in order to prepare people for what to expect in the aging process. She also says we need to remember we always have the choice to think positively and to help new mental highways open in our brains. She believes this is one thing that can lead to peace. Positive thinking and gratitude are gifts we can give to God in response to all He has given to us.

Mary wants us to be talking about physical, mental and spiritual changes we are experiencing as individuals and as couples during the aging process. But she wants to help people walk into the realization that God has purpose at every age and every stage. She wants us to be aware that we are children of God no matter our age.

To reach out to Mary go to https://www.theback40podcast.com. There you will find all the links to subscribe, find out more about her and listen to her podcast episodes.

To connect with Stephen Ray Watts from the band Dotsero Praise Fellowship, the musician playing the song, "Amazing Grace" on this episode, go to https://dotseroband.com

To check out San Juan Brews in Montrose, go to https://www.sanjuanbrews.com or https://www.facebook.com/sanjuanbrews

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

It is hard to believe that two years ago, I launched my first podcast episode. Here we are now two years down the line and going strong. In this solo episode I want to share my gratitude for people who have helped me along the way including my friends and family, as well as all the great guests who have agreed to be interviewed.

I have learned a lot about many subjects. And I have been inspired by the stories of folks just livin' what they’ve been given by being creative, even in the toughest of circumstances. We don't have a lot of control over what happens to us but we have nothing but control over how we react and move forward or stay stuck. It is always our choice.

In the last two years I have met people from all over the world who have mentored, encouraged and inspired me. Their stories have challenged me to be a better person, more compassionate with myself and others and mostly taught me to see the world through different lenses. What great gifts these are. I hope you, my listeners, have been inspired, encouraged and mentored too. I hope you will keep listening, learning, growing and finding inspiration for your own lives as we journey together on a path to live in awe, wonder and gratitude.

I'm including the information on all the generous musicians who have allowed me to use their inspiring creations too, as well as the information on the sponsors for this episode.
 

To connect with Stephen Ray Watts from the band Dotsero Praise Fellowship go to https://dotseroband.com

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to  [email protected]

To hear more music by Christine Marie, she is available on iTunes. Her email is  [email protected]

To check out San Juan Brews in Montrose (our sponsor for this episode), go to https://www.sanjuanbrews.com or https://www.facebook.com/sanjuanbrews

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

Today we welcome The Drill Sergeant of Life, Beatrice Bruno, to help us understand how we sometimes get in our own way by practicing self-sabotage. Speaking from her own experience and from parts of her books based on letting go, letting God and getting what we want out of life, Beatrice is a refreshingly authentic voice that speaks truth into the idea that turning the tide begins with each of us.

Being in the U.S Army helped Beatrice in the area of discipline that was needed and still is needed to move into sticking to the tasks at hand until completion. She is a motivational speaker, prolific author and grief counselor. She shares the vision of going up a hill in the mountainous areas around her and seeing a vision of herself standing in her own way. God was clear in saying "You have to go around yourself in order to progress forward."

Encouraging others to find ways to progress beyond the messages of "you can't, you have never and you will never do that," she teaches us that sometimes we are more afraid of success than failure. She gives some practical steps that can guide us in the direction of getting over ourselves, fear of failure, and letting go of the P.A.S.T. (people, places, possibilities and situations that should be terminated).

She stresses the fact that sometimes we intentionally limit ourselves so that we do not succeed. That leads to a self-fulfilling prophesy that can restrict our forward progress and keep us stuck.

The two books we reference in this episode are called, "How to Get Over Yourself and Let Go of the P.A.S.T." and "How to Get Over Yourself, Get Out of Your Own Way, and Get What YOU Want Out of Life!"

Those are available, as well as many other books, resources and contact information at http://www.drillsergeantoflife.com

To check out San Juan Brews in Montrose, go to https://www.sanjuanbrews.com or https://www.facebook.com/sanjuanbrews

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com