Livin' What You're Given

 
Note:  This is a rebroadcast of the episode with Kevin Kuns in July of 2023. Because we seem to be in the same or worse political situation than when this was first recorded, I felt it worth a revisit of the wisdom, strength and hope in the words of people like Kevin Kuns.

Drawing from personal experiences of living in different countries, having a diverse employment background, running successful companies and being involved in the Colorado Democratic Party, my guest today, Kevin Kuns and I explore how we can turn the tide on the toxic political landscape we are now living in. We also discuss what the word "patriot means" and how that word is being used against our groups of citizens today.

Kevin helps us identify some ways we have become polarized politically, what is dividing us and how we can begin to walk into unification beyond our differences. He shares his experiences on the campaign trail when he was running for office to represent District 58, on the Western Slope of Colorado. One of the things that impressed him most was that people he spoke with were not angry about issues. They were angry and frustrated by not being heard.

He stresses that a lot of people in the USA are moving away from extremism and the divisiveness that are threatening our democracy. He says we need to move into dialogue and listening to each other, while understanding we all pretty much have the same values and respecting each other's right to hold different opinions.

By way of encouraging us to be in conversation and respect for each other, he referenced a book called, "A Bigger Table," by John Pavlovitz. This book is available on Amazon Books.

Besides the ideas above, Kevin encourages us to check out some of the organizations around the USA dedicated to restoring civility and offering all voices a chance to be at the table. Some resources for finding and/or participating in these organizations are found below.

Unify America at https://www.unifyamerica.org/

Unify Montrose at https://www.unifymontrose.org/

Restore the Balance at https://www.restorethebalance.org/

Country First at https://www.country1st.com/

To catch up with Gabriel Tafoya, the composer, producer and performer of the song "The Pivot" on this episode, go to [email protected]

The website to connect with Laura Padgett is https://lauralpadgett.com

In March in 2015, Maya Haynes' daughter Caitlyn completed suicide because of bullying. After her death, Cait's peers came forward and told Maya and her husband that they had witnessed the bullying and did not know what to do. Many had reported the bullying incidents, but there was no action taken.

Instead of becoming angry, bitter, and vengeful, Maya turned grief, pain, and loss into a direction of helping other kids who are being bullied, those witnessing the situations, as well as those who are doing the bullying. She created P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization developed to help kids, parents and educators learn more about bullying vs. conflict management. The acronym stands for positive, encouraging, empathetic and respectful. By providing these tools to all involved (including those kids who are witnesses to this behavior), it is hoped that we can curtail the incidences of kids mistreating each other.

The group started out with a small board meeting in a local coffee shop. Now, nine years later, P.E.E.R. Kindness has their own building, is in four states and serves as a resource for anyone who needs help in navigating the world of bullying, whether is a student, parent and/or educator. Being a small organization, they are unable to reach all who may need these services. So, Maya and her team have created a tool called, PK (P.E.E.R. Kindness) in a box. They send this out to folks who ask for help where they may not have access to this in their city, state, or geographical area.


Maya says that her healing process has been helped by hearing the stories of others. And this work of helping others heal has helped her move forward too. She says that feeling like we are not alone is important to moving through the loss and hard work of grief.

Being a small organization, Maya and her team have created a tool called, PK (P.e.e.r. Kindness) in a box. They send this out to people asking for help where they may not have access to this in their city, state or geographical area.

To learn more about P.E.E.R. Kindness, how to contact them and get resources, go to https://www.peerkindness.net

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

In 1989, Jerry Schemmel survived the airplane crash of United Airlines Flight 232 that landed in a field in Sioux City, Iowa. In 1996, he wrote a book called "Chosen to Live" detailing not only the disastrous incident itself, but also his journey of healing afterward. Jerry does not allow this incident to define him, but he thinks about it as a way to share his personal testimony of finding help, strength, and hope through a personal relationship with Jesus.

In my first interview with Jerry, he said during the excruciating minutes prior to the plane's touchdown, he tried to keep himself calm so he would not panic (if he lived) and would be able to help others. That statement of helping others became one of the foundational elements of this podcast. Storytelling to help others in their time of disaster and/or loss, difficulties and life circumstances became the point of continuing “Livin' What You're Given.”

Today Jerry and I explore how sharing our stories in life have helped us heal and help others heal too. We also talk about the value of encouraging other people to share their stories because we can learn and lean on each other in times of challenges and trials.

His publications, speaking engagements and media appearances have been aimed at doing just that. Jerry says, "Everyone has a plane crash." And when we find ourselves in pain, loss, disaster or difficulties, stories like what Jerry shares here can help us find peace, help, strength and hope to continue living the life God has blessed us with.

To find Jerry's book, go to Amazon and put "Chosen to Live" in the search line. Also check out his latest publication "The Extravagant Gift" also available on Amazon. If you are a bicycle enthusiast, watch for his devotional book for cyclist which will be available soon.
 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Gwendolyn Burton is an author, teacher, speaker, and certified grief educator. But mostly she is an authentic voice for those who are experiencing grief and loss, as she has suffered one of the toughest losses known to humans - the loss of a child. 

Through her work and in this interview, she discusses how she began to heal and move forward from her loss. She speaks about finding help by hearing the stories of others which helped her to see she was not alone. By encouraging herself and others to express what is really going on, even several months or years after the loss, she began to see how many times we just try to move on without dealing with the true feelings of our situation. 

She states that while we might offer others space and grace in the journey of healing, we may not always offer that to ourselves. According to Gwendolyn, offering ourselves that space and grace is the beginning of our healing on the grief road. Giving ourselves permission to grieve and sometimes grieve deeply honors ourselves and our loved ones. 

She emphasizes that we should not put God in a box by not allowing ourselves to see signs around us that tell us our loved one is okay. She says God can and does minister to us through signs and symbols that we will miss if we are practicing strict "religiosity" as a means of communicating with God. She also encourages us to drop our fear around talking about the ways God sends signs to comfort us in our grief. 

Gwendolyn tells us that one of the things she has learned and teaches others as she ministers in this area is empathy. She says empathy is essential to move forward in our grief journey and to help others move forward in theirs as well.

To learn more about Gwendolyn Burton, including her ministry and publications, go to  https://www.gwendolynoburton.com

 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

We are starting our fourth season of "Livin' What You're Given". The rest of 2024, I want to explore the effects of storytelling. In this episode I talk about why our stories matter.  They have been given to us so we can share them to encourage other as they walk their stories as well as help others along the way in their own journeys.

I open this season by explaining why this podcast has not been offered for the past several months. In telling the reason for my absence, I have told a story of loss and grief.

In this and subsequent episodes I want to explore where the stories of my guests have gone to help others. Each guest I have invited on, has a unique story of life experiences. I have tried to select diverse stories and encouraging messages around why sharing our story is not only help for others, but for ourselves as well.

Some of the guests on my show this season have been guests before. Some have not. But whether you have heard from them before or not, all their experiences will touch your heart and remind you of the value of sharing stories.

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

Today in this solo podcast episode, the last one of 2023 and the last one for a few months, I want to talk about letting go of idolizing the past. We cannot move forward, if we insist on focusing on the past. The tendency to retro reach (trying to recapture and relive the past at the expense of the now and the future) is a prescription for unhappiness.

Through a personal, and humorous story, I share how we can get the wrong idea of who God is and proceed with that idea until we find ourselves disillusioned and disappointed. As we move into 2024, letting go of 2023, may we see that each day ahead is ordained by God. And by insisting on finding value only in what is behind us, is a form of disillusion and will lead to disappointment.

I am praying my listeners are ready to let go of the past and not see it as something it is not and probably never was. I pray that many of the stories in these three years of Livin' What You're Given will of benefit in dropping the focus on the past, releasing the years that have come and gone, and paving the way for a healthy way forward.

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Today, I am joined by Ashley Pyles, a Christian Transformational Faith Coach who has spent decades helping women not only strengthen their faith, but also put it into action. There are many reasons why we can stunt our spiritual growth, and one of those is hanging onto the past. In our conversation on Livin' What You're Given, Ashley offers some tools to help us resist this retro-reach posture. She shares from her own experiences how she has learned to release the past and receive the blessings of the future.

Through a three-step process based in scripture, Ashley shares strategies to let go of our past and move into our purpose by changing our thought lives. The gems she shares are for people of all ages and stages as we try to navigate the lives we have been given to live.

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬


1) Forgetting those things which are behind: By choosing to no longer look at it inside of your mind by becoming aware of your thought life and finding closure with your past. How?  Forgive yourself and others and receive God's forgiveness. Do not forget to take note of what have learned.

2) Reaching forward to what is ahead by gaining vision for the future and seeking Jesus. Look at the promises in the Bible and ask to gain a vision for future. How?  By seeking the one who holds the keys into our best future. Seeking can be hard but if we grab a hold of a promise in the Bible, keep it before us and meditate upon it, we have an avenue to leave the past and refuse to look back.
Where there is no vision, people cast off restraint… Prov 29:18

3) Press toward the call (purpose) of God upon your life by believing that God has a purpose for the future seasons. Taking time to hear Him and pressing into the direction He is calling us to will reveal our path forward. 

In addition to these steps, Ashley encourages us to see that as we do this work consistently, we will see our thoughts moving out of the old patterns and into a new thought life of release and receive. She stresses that humility and leaning into Jesus are mandatory.

These strategies and more will be available in Ashley's upcoming book, "Developing Powerful Responses" which will be available in fall of 2023. It's also a 6 week coaching Program that she offers and that will be available in spring of 2024. You can watch for more information on these on her website at the address below.

To reach out to Ashley Pyles, go to https://www.liontribe.net/ https://www.facebook.com/liontribe.net or https://www.facebook.com/ashley.pyles.14

  The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

In this week's episode, which is a solo, I want to share the word "burdens" as an acronym. I think this is particularly important as the holidays are here and we can feel overwhelmed by the expectations we place on ourselves and the expectations we try to meet that are placed upon us by others. The point of this is to demonstrate that it is our choice to allow our own (sometimes unreasonable) expectations and those of others to weigh us down or not. Drawing from seven decades of I want to share how we can be:

 B: Blinded to the blessings around us as we try and try to meet expectations.

U: Undermined by our own hand in moving forward in God's purpose for our lives.

 R: Reaching and reaching for yesterday in the retro reach posture that deceives us into believing all things were once flawless and wonderful.

 D: Dwelling on making sure everyone has their expectations met.

E: Envying what we think others have that we do not.

N: Seeing ourselves as never enough no matter how hard we try.

S: Subtracting the Holy Spirit from the equation and thereby missing what God really wants us to see and enjoy.

 To be burdened by unreasonable expectations of others and ourselves brings us out of joy for the Holiday Season and into a frantic race to fulfill everything but our purpose in being here at all.   I hope you can identify with some of these elements of burdening ourselves and choose to release those burdens to enjoy this celebratory season.

 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Whoa, the holidays are here already and the pressures can be real. In today's episode, my guest Sue Moore Donaldson, and I explore how to drop some of the baggage around what we expect of ourselves and others when it comes to holiday festivities.

As an author, podcaster and public speaker, Sue uses her own experiences to help us relax around our imperfections. That can be, and often is, the first step in moving through the holidays with less stress and more joy. Through her faith base as a follower of Christ, she encourages us to surrender our own demands on ourselves to God and go with the reality of what is instead of always reaching for what used to be. Having God in the driver's seat of our lives as well as our holidays, we can let go of the outcome, that probably will not be perfect, and just enjoy the activities.

Sue has a great sense of humor and uses that interwoven with wisdom and authenticity to share personal stories and experiences. Very few people do not relate to the types of stories Sue gives us to reflect upon and identify with in our own lives.

She gives some great ideas on how to de-stress our holidays and make them more enjoyable for us and others, including:

Being real by accepting our limitations with time, resources, etc.
Surrendering our will to God (a practice that takes time).
Allowing others to use their own creativity and contribute to the meal or festivities.
Not feeling guilty if we cannot meet the expectations of others.

There are many other  hints on de-stressing  on her website and to connect with her there, just go to https://welcomeheart.com. Have a look at her resources.

And as a special resource for our listeners, she has supplied some valuable information at these links:

https://welcomeheart.myflodesk.com/ecd7a865-232d-4c6d-ae6e-352f0f60334e
https://welcomeheart.com/laura-padgett-sue-donaldson

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Please note:  This is a re-broadcast of an earlier episode that was taped and aired in 2021. The subject is domestic abuse, and because it is October (National Domestic Violence Awareness Month), I wanted to air this again. The topic follows my September episodes on bullying. Domestic abuse is in fact one of the most commonly seen areas of bullying because it relies upon the unequal power structure.

The dates and times mentioned in this episode are from September of 2021. But the message is one we need to hear often as it is not going away, and in some ways the problems are worse.

 Karen DeArmond Gardner is an authentic voice in the area of domestic abuse, having lived thirty years in a marriage where her husband was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. In this first of a two part interview, she shares what she learned, when she decided to leave but mostly how she, with the love of her family and relearning about the  love of God, began her healing journey. Today she is living a life of freedom in a new marriage of eleven years, and  is helping educate and advocate for those still living in intimate terrorism.

Karen tells of the defining moment when she realized she had had enough and that she needed to get out of the home. She helps us understand what domestic abuse or intimate terrorism really is, why we cannot always recognize it and in what ways the church and society fail women due to distorted doctrine and lack of resources. According to Karen, leaving is just the beginning and not the end of healing from the trauma of an abusive marital relationship.

Tune in as she candidly unpacks the truths, myths and processes in the traumatic time after making the decision to leave. She has written a book that she states is not a how to book. Rather it is a Biblical-based guide to rediscovering the love of God and relearning that He indeed loves us and can be trusted to keep His promises.

The Safe House – Your Safer Place app is on both IOS and Android.

Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God's Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner  available at Amazon.com or on
Another One Free website https://anotheronefree.com


The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com