Living Inside Out with Toks

I hope you're having a great day and taking some time to relax and unwind. 😊

When it comes to growing our businesses, there are countless books, talks, videos, and articles out there that offer valuable insights and advice. They often highlight the habits and routines of successful individuals, suggesting that by emulating them, we can move closer to our own version of success. And hey, those tips can definitely be helpful!

However, if we truly want to bring about meaningful change in our lives, we need to go beyond just focusing on what we do. We must dig deeper and address the root causes behind our actions—the very things that are producing results we're not satisfied with.

In today's episode, I want to explore a specific habit that may be holding you back: hoarding. Now, I'm not referring to collecting physical items like a pack rat (although that's a topic for another time!). Instead, I'm talking about three forms of hoarding that can hinder our personal and therefore, business growth:

Hoarding knowledge: Sometimes, we cling tightly to what we know, afraid to let go and embrace new ideas. But if we genuinely want to evolve and become the best version of ourselves, we must be open to releasing old notions and welcoming the possibilities that come with the unknown.

Hoarding your present circumstances: It's natural to find comfort in the familiar, even if it no longer serves us. Stepping into the unknown can be daunting, but staying within the confines of what we know won't lead to growth. Sometimes, we need to take that leap of faith and see where it takes us.

Hoarding ideas: This one's for all the creative souls out there. It's common to fear that once we use up an idea, we'll be left with nothing. However, ideas are infinite and abundant. They flow through us when we're open and ready to receive them. So, don't be afraid to share your ideas with the world, because new ones will always find their way to you.

Now, why do we hoard? Fear is often at the root of this behaviour. Fear keeps us stuck, and stagnant, and prevents us from growing. If we genuinely want to break free from this pattern, we must confront our fears head-on and understand their origins.

To facilitate this journey of self-discovery, I encourage you to spend some time journaling. Reflect on these three questions in various aspects of your life—relationships, business, and beyond:

• Am I doing my best?

By honestly answering these questions, you might uncover surprising insights and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

As for me, it's time for a summer break! I'll be taking some well-deserved rest and relaxation. But don't worry, we still have one more episode coming up next week. And fear not, I'll be back in September when the new school year begins.

Before I wrap up, I want to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you for listening and sharing. Your support means the world to me. So, please, let me know your thoughts on today's episode and any other topics you'd like me to explore. I truly value your comments and reviews.

Enjoy your summer, and I'll catch up with you soon!

Warmest regards,

Toks

I recently had a fantastic time hosting a fun and casual conversation on my podcast with two amazing entrepreneurs, Amanda McKoy Flanagan and Ginny Oliva's-Smith. We got real and talked about the ups and downs of building businesses while being married with kids in beautiful Colorado.

We laughed and debunked the glamorous myth surrounding entrepreneurship. Instead of luxury, we highlighted the non-stop work, sleepless nights, and sheer dedication required for success. It's definitely not all glitz and glamour!

One of the highlights was our discussion on finding the balance between work and family life. As fellow moms and business owners, Amanda and Ginny shared their experiences and practical tips for juggling it all. It's no easy feat, but they reminded us that thriving in both realms is possible.

We also celebrated Amanda's latest achievement—the release of her book entitled "Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go". Being all in with yourself means having your own back when the chips fall with unconditional love, and trusting yourself to show up for yourself no matter what pain is coming down the pike.

Hosting Amanda and Ginny was an absolute blast. We created a warm, welcoming environment where their wisdom and camaraderie shone through. Together, we shared a lighthearted and uplifting conversation showcasing entrepreneurship's realities while leaving listeners feeling motivated and encouraged.

So join us for heartfelt discussions on love, loss, and connections. Amanda and Ginny bring their unique perspectives, making it a delightful and engaging experience for all. Get ready to be inspired and have some fun along the way!

Resources:

Order "Trust Yourself to be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go" book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C4M137BJ

Amanda McKoy Flanagan- https://www.instagram.com/amandamckoyflanagan/

Ginny Olivia's-Smith- https://www.instagram.com/ginnyos13/

Sol Rising Podcast- www.instagram.com/solrisingpodcast

I truly believe everyone goes through their fair share of failures in life. It's part of being human, after all. But you know what's interesting? When we talk about our own stories, we often hold back and only share the highlights. Well, in this episode, I want to change that.

Let me take you on a journey through the extraordinary life of the iconic Rock Star, Tina Turner. Now, when you hear her name, two things probably come to mind: the rock music legend she is and her difficult marriage with Ike Turner.

But here's the thing: if you're going through something that has brought up feelings of shame in you, whether it was your fault or someone else's, this episode is for you. Because, let's face it, failure is something we all experience, yet we tend to shy away from discussing it openly. But your story, my friend, is worth telling.

Your Rock Star Story is the beautiful tapestry of your life, with its ups, downs, regrets, and victories. It's about viewing yourself as a winner, even in the face of adversity. And guess what? It doesn't end with where you are today. No, it continues into the future that you've envisioned for yourself. Your story is a testament to the fact that despite everything, you've emerged victorious. But here's the catch: you have to write it.

So, why should you rewrite your story in its rock star version? Here are three compelling reasons:

To embrace and overcome shame: Shame has a sneaky way of making us hide the parts of our story that make us cringe. But it's precisely those parts that hold the key to your breakthrough and can resonate with others who have experienced similar struggles. The world craves human connection, and telling your story allows you to take back the power of your narrative and hold it firmly in your own hands.

To unleash your confidence: By rewriting your story, you'll unleash a newfound confidence to show up as your authentic self. No more picking and choosing which parts to bring to the table based on who's listening. You get to be unapologetically you, and that's where your true strength lies.

To rediscover yourself: Through this process, you'll see yourself in a different light. You'll recognize your own strength, resilience, and capabilities. It's time to let go of the notion that you're weak or a failure. You are so much more than that, my friend.

Once you're done listening to this podcast episode, grab a pen and paper. Start writing your story, your rock star journey. And hey, if you're interested, I'd love for you to join me in a Rock Star Story workshop. It's an opportunity to dive deeper into this process and connect with others who are rewriting their own stories. You can find all the details here:

Remember, your story matters. So let's embrace it, rewrite it, and rock it out together!

Resources:

VIA Strengths Finder Test

Rock Star Story Workshop

www.toksaruoture.com

[email protected]

When I became a mum, I was hit with the sobering realisation that I was now responsible for the direction an entire human would take. It was heavy. The truth is, I had been accountable for my life for many years before then. When making decisions, we can go in one of three directions; throw caution to the wind and go for it, contemplate and consider all possibilities; or do nothing.

Relying on our feelings to decide for us is easy but irresponsible because emotions, though incredibly powerful and convincing, also make bad rulers.

In this episode, we explore three ways our emotions can sabotage our journey when they come into the picture.

1. Sitting and waiting for everything to be perfect

As always, I draw examples from my journey; I hope you are inspired sufficiently to explore how you make decisions🙂

Resources:

Rubber hand sensory experiment 

Past episode references:

#80 Turning Pain into Purpose with Ashley Randolph

#76 Comfort: Thief of Destinies

#75 Making Peace with Trials

#74 The Journey of a Tenacious Entrepreneur with Sherri Blum

#72 How to Build Resilience

Growth

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through mindset mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 

Start Date: 24th June 2023

Duration: Six Weeks

Cost £1299 per person

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don't you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

This is a special episode, as it is our 80th one, but made even more special by  my guest, a Rock Star, Ashley Randolph. Ashley is the founder of Glo Preemies and Co-Founder of the Alliance for Black NICU Families.

And she is a ROCK STAR because she turned her challenges, literally into a purpose. I believe purpose must tick three boxes:

Ashley takes us on a journey that begins with her desire to become a doctor, getting into pre-medical school and then getting pregnant and dropping out at the age of 21. Normally, that's enough to cause one to imagine the challenges she must have gone through. Normally, she'd be a statistic- young, single girl gets pregnant, dreams die. Normally, we wouldn't even know her name.

But this Rock Star went on to get married, have three babies all pre-term, experience the shortcomings of  the medical care system and still come out on top. Today, she uses her experiences to empower and encourage families who are going through or have gone through what she did.

My hope is that as you listen, you will be inspired to rewrite your story, so that your pain becomes your purpose. Enjoy!

Resources:

Ashley's IG: @glopreemiesfounder

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through Mindset Mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 

This episode is for you if you've ever felt stuck and unable to move forward- despite knowing you should. We often hear about mindsets and limiting beliefs, but what does that mean?

First, you have to understand where your mind sits in the process of manifesting ideas. Your mind is sandwiched between your spirit and your body. Ideas and pictures from your spirit are fed into your mind; you then process and pass them to your body as an instruction to take action. The trouble starts when an interruption or blockage stops you from manifesting or acting on your idea. It can be as apparent as the fear of failure or as complex as your view of the world based on childhood experiences; anything that interrupts the flow as it makes its way from your mind into the outer world is a limiting belief.

Everyone has a mindset, and how they interact with the world can be positive or negative, yet they are often subtle. In this exciting episode, I pull out two modules from my ongoing course, Get Unstuck: A Mindset Mentoring Program. 

1. Introspection- the practice of looking inside yourself or self-reflection. One of our mantras is the inside is superior to the outside. If you want to change the results you see, you must begin internally because our lives reflect our thoughts. This module teaches about the necessity to contemplate, the wrong and right ways to do so and how to utilise what we discover for our growth.

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through Mindset Mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 

Start Date: 24th June 2023

Duration: Six Weeks

Cost £1299 per person

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

How can comfort, you might ask, be the thief of anyone's destiny? Shouldn't we be moving more towards rest and protecting our mental health?

Hear me out... Somehow, some time ago, we were led to believe we must stop to correct every wrong and stoop to straighten every curve. But what if the way to the smooth is through the rough? 

Recent experiences led me to Make Peace with my Trials., episode #75, and also recognise the benefits of trials and using them to build resilience, Episode 76. I used the story of Andrew Ly, the founder of Sugarbowl Bakery, to show how an immigrant mindset can help us propel forward.

Last week, we launched our newest baby crib in Harrods, the most famous department store in the world. But amid such exciting news, I was also weathering a different storm, so much so that I almost let the opportunity slip. Because comfort and relief were more appealing than walking through the fire

The danger of seeking comfort amid challenges is that you may give all your time, energy and space to the problem and miss the opportunity to move forward.

Listen to the full episode to uncover the dangers of seeking comfort. It is possible to grow through the storm, but many of us prefer to stop and tend to the problems.

"If you're not invited to the table, create your own table"

In a male dominated industries, women who are openly ambitious are frequently labeled as “aggressive” by the society. Even if you can push past all that, sometimes you get to the table and you’re told here’s no place for you. Or, worse yet, you discover "your table" doesn't actually exist. Funmi Onuma is here to tell us to make our own table.

In this episode, Funmi and I talked about women in the cinema industry and that we should own our abilities and grab the opportunities that come our way. We may think we are not qualified of something, but the truth is, the opportunities would have never come our way if we weren't capable at the first place. Think about this the next time you feel the burden of doubt and hesitation. Despite the circumstances, we, women, belong to the society that we want ourselves to be in.

Visit Funmi Onuma's website if you wish to know more of her and her works here www.funmionuma.com then follow her social media accounts (LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram) "Funmi Onuma.

Let's Connect: Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

In this Episode we compare two mentalities, the one who recognizes pain as part of the process and the one who expect no pain, and still, success.