Living Inside Out with Toks

Living Inside Out with Toks

By Toks AruotureBusinessEntrepreneurshipReligion & SpiritualityChristianityEducationSelf-Improvement
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Living Inside Out with Toks episodes

  • Ep #65 What’s Up November? Don’t forget the fruits of your hard work

    To understand where you stand today and how you got there, you've got to know where you've been. In this episode, I catch you up on the last three months; I have been on hiatus for that long. It has been a trying season, and while I am still physically in that space of lesson learning, challenges, mentally, I have departed, which is good.

     

    Our difficulties come to teach and stretch us. I believe they come to push us to increase our capacity for learning more, living more and being more of who God created us to be. This season has delivered well.

    Do you work hard to plant and nurture- and forget to pick your fruit?

    I have been reciting the scripture "I will bear fruit in each season", but what's interesting is how often I have planted, nurtured, and borne fruit but not actually picked it. There is something oddly satisfying about knowing you have potential or opportunity but not utilising it. Sometimes it's because you feel once it's used up, you'll have nothing to look forward to. Does that make sense? I know I have lived that lie. At other times we hold back from picking fruit because the possibility of ownership brings us more satisfaction than the striving to own. So after you have worked hard, you don't cash that cheque and instead hold on to it- which doesn't make sense, but we do it. I am reminded of the former baseball player Ricky Henderson who received a signing bonus of $1 million. The accounting office for Oakland Athletics called him as they noticed an inconsistency in their books. The cheque hadn't been cashed, and when Henderson was asked why, he said he had framed it. He didn't know he had to actually cash it. 

    But you see, cheques often have an expiry date. In the UK, it says valid within three months. And if you choose to remain in the place of possibilities, your fruit will die while still hanging on the tree.

    New friends, New traits

    One of the lessons I have learned this season, while still blowing my mind, is how being in a different circle can expose you to your own character traits. That's been the case with me. As my network expands, I have seen tendencies about myself that I have been shocked by, and I have had to address them. And this again buttresses my point about how challenges come to teach us- I am learning more about myself and my detrimental tendencies.

    Mindset Mentoring update

    In other news, my mentoring program is going amazingly well! The programme comprises a mix of live zoom calls, daily thoughts to ponder, activities and in-person meetings with good food (of course!). Here are some of the comments I've received so far:

    "Thank you, Toks, for sharing real wisdom, and being able to see your vision was such a blessing."

    "I really enjoyed yesterday's session. I've been thinking about it thought out the day learning how to listen to myself and my own voice and trying to realise it's also part of self-care as well taking time to listen to myself is self-care."

    "I am so hopeful that before the end of this master program we will have more clarity, our mindset would have shifted more (I'm already in a reset mode after yesterday's session ) and ready to do exploits 🙏🏿💖. I can't wait for our next session"

    If you wanted to join in but missed the opportunity, you can do so next year. Send me a message to let me know. When the books are open again for registration, I'll alert you. Till next time, remember to live from the inside out!

    Resources:

    From the Basement Up Podcast: Toks Aruoture- The Baby Cot Shop

    Affirmation: Like a tree that bears fruit Jeremiah 17:7-8

    Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme

    Let's Connect:

    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don't you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

    29 min
  • Ep #64 Believe Again: Reclaiming Your Ingenuity
    Down memory lane has many benefits, but only if you know to navigate your way to the right spots. There are gems hidden in the dark places we left behind. We shy away from going back there because of the painful memories, but do you know that you displayed incredible strength in that space?
     
    How else would you have been here to tell the tale? Yes, it was hard, but you survived. Yes, it was dark, but you found your way out. You never want to experience it again, but you did. And you're here; scarred? Maybe, but alive.
     
    In this episode, I share my experience of going back to one of the darkest periods of my life, and I uncover some personality traits that I buried, along with the experience. I intend to get you to do the same. Storms transform us into better versions of ourselves- but only if we submit to the change process.
     
    Some of the gems I uncovered include:
     
    Courage isn't a feeling. It's a decision you take amid fear. It is counter-logical but do it anyway.
     
    Authenticity; is the practice of being yourself and showing up as you- even when the world would prefer a different version. Show up anyway.
     
    Raised Expectations; raise your expectations to meet God's promise for you; don't lower them to agree with your present circumstances.
     
    I also shared tips on how to hope again when all hope is lost.
     
    I pray this episode fulfils my intention for it, which is to help you propel onto the next phase of your life, whatever that looks like, with confidence that God has got you.
     
     
    Resources:
    Finish Strong: Your Foundation for Starting Next Year Well
    Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme
     The Simplifiers Podcast: How to Adopt a Healthy Mindset
     
    Let's Connect:
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    29 min
  • Ep #63 Believing is Seeing: Take a Step of Faith
    No doubt you have heard and perhaps used the adage, Seeing is believing. This suggests that you cannot deny what you can physically see. It also means that if you can't see it, it doesn't exist.
     
    In this episode, I challenge you to reverse that thinking; you see what you believe. The unseen world is superior to the seen; everything we see today started in the mind- either in the mind of the Creator or in the mind of man, the creator. Every painting we see and admire was first completed in the mind of the artist before he represented it on canvas.
     
    Your shoes and clothes existed first in the designer's mind before they fashioned what only they could see into the physical versions. It follows then that if you want to manifest an idea hidden in your mind, you must believe it is real and worthy of being embodied.
     
    We tend to only give our time and effort to what we can see- because we deem that real. But that demotes you from creator to arranger. You are simply rearranging other people's creation and not manifesting any of yours.
     
    As always, I draw examples from my experiences which form the basis of the lessons shared to help you take a step of faith.
     
    Resources:
    The Simplifiers Podcast: How to Adopt a Healthy Mindset
    The Call of Abram: Genesis 12
    Joshua’s Installation Joshua
    Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme
     
    Let's Connect:
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    32 min
  • Ep #62 Moving on From Mediocrity
    The Middle Ground. The Neutral Zone. Mediocrity. In this episode, I share my thoughts on what mediocrity looks like.  Because it can show up looking like ambition. Years ago, after losing everything, I went from aiming for the stars to aiming for normalcy. The story of the temptation of Eve in the Bible forms the backdrop for this episode as I recently found myself on shaky ground. And I needed to uncover how I got from being so certain about my future to questioning everything around me.
     
    Eve had it all made! Her life and marriage were figured out; what was it about her conversation with a serpent that caused her to throw it all away? She ended up in the middle ground. The space between where she used to be and where she was headed. And on that middle ground, you risk falling either to the left or right.
     
    Mediocrity will have you believing you are advancing because you are no longer where you used to be. We say the sun rises and sets, right? In reality, it is stationary; it's the earth that moves. Likewise, you could be stationary, and the world's movement will have you thinking you are flourishing.
     
    As always, I use examples from my life, particularly from the season I decided to settle in no man's land because it was more comfortable than where I used to be.
     
    Affirmation:
    My expectation is for better, not worse. Success, not failure. Completion, not abandoned projects. Excellence, not mediocrity. I am getting better and better as a... Insert Role (woman, as a mum, as a wife, as a business owner, as a friend, as a daughter). I am getting better as a person.
     
    Resources:
    The Temptation: Genesis Chapter 3
    Affirmation: Proverbs 4:18
    Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme
     
    Let's Connect:
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    27 min
  • Ep #61 Finding Treasure in Dark Places
    In this episode, we carry on from last week, reviewing powerful lessons learned this year. Lessons are like breadcrumbs that show you the way forward; if you don't learn them, you'll soon find yourself going through the same challenge again.
     
    April: I learned that taking action in one area often results in a blessing being released in another. We tend to plant a seed and watch for it to grow on the same spot. There are times that the tree sprouts up somewhere else; this means we should not stand on the same spot looking for fruit but instead go about our business, and the investment will yield results later.
     
    May: In the month of May was all about recognising and picking up the pieces of your dreams. If you take the time to study the picture of your future, you will identify the pieces as you journey on. Cultivate a mindset of awareness- certainty that all around you lies the resources you need for your journey. Awareness stops you from chasing the bag, conserves energy, and keeps you on the right path.
     
    June: Knowledge vs Wisdom
    As we age, we will acquire knowledge, but there is a level of growth some of us will not experience because it lies on the other side of pain. Everyone talks about and expects progress. There is a steady progression that occurs daily. Even if we don't make any effort at all, we are changing. We are getting older. We are gaining life experiences. But don't mistake ageing for evolving. Knowledge is information from the outside, while wisdom produces truth from the inside. Wisdom is applied knowledge at the risk of discomfort to self. You can acquire knowledge but cannot be taught wisdom; it requires self-sacrifice, experience and a heart that seeks it.
     
    Listen to the full episode and let me know your thoughts.
     
    Let’s connect on Instagram; I have begun a series of lives with female business owners because experience is a great teacher- but it isn't the only teacher. You can watch the replay on my @toksaruoture with Alexandra Baldi, the founder of Compass Chelsea.
     
    And if this episode has inspired you, i.e. led you to do some thinking, make some decisions and even better, act on it, get some more inspiration from Youtube.com/Toksaruoture
     
    Don't forget to like, share and subscribe to this podcast and, of course, to my YouTube channel.
     
    References:
    Afefeyeye Restaurant
    28 min
  • Ep #60 Looking back to finish well
    We are officially in the second half of  2022, and in this landmark Episode #60, I look back at the year thus far.
     
    I believe life is jam-packed with lessons, and those lessons come to help us navigate the onward journey.
     
    So I thought I'd bring you into my sacred space, my journal, to see some life-changing lessons that didn't make it into the podcast- or my social media platforms. If living inside out was a book, this episode is what lies between the lines 😁
     
    Some of the gems I share include:
    Understanding the power of single dimension decisions- the seemingly small everyday tasks gave the power to create the life we want or keep us stagnant.
  • Learning to doubt your doubts: Some thoughts come to inform us, but the information isn't necessarily an instruction.
  • You are constantly faced with two choices, to go for what you desire or to quench the desire itself
  • Know that the human spirit is dynamic, not fixed. You are constantly evolving to become the person capable of fulfilling your unique purpose. So even when it looks impossible, don't accept it. Believe you can and allow God to mould you into the person who did.
  • Use mindset tools to get you out of a rut, such as recalling the fantastic things you have done. This helps you to recognise your abilities when challenges conceal them.
     
    Next week we will continue with more lessons learned in the year's first half.
     
     
    Mark your calendar:
    My much-awaited programme, Get Unstuck, launches at the start of the school year, on the 15th of September. Registration will open on the 30th of July, with minimal spaces.
     
    Get Unstuck is my unique system for exposing the mindsets that are holding you back because everyone has a desire to excel, but not everyone will live their best life. Mainly because we place more emphasis on doing than we do on becoming; much activity keeps you busy but not necessarily productive. Our actions are sparked by emotions, which our thoughts birth. So if you want to change the outcome, you must work backwards to unearth your thoughts. 
     
    Now because I have had more requests for mentoring than I can physically accept, I will include free mentoring in the package. I have over 19 years of business experience, and there is nothing that will surprise me about running a business. I am also in my final year of being in my forties, so I come with a bucketload of life experiences too.
     
    Head to toksaruoture.com to join my mailing list- or send me a DM.
     
    Are we connected? To the max? 😁
    Let’s connect on Instagram; I have begun a series of lives with female business owners because experience is a great teacher- but it isn't the only teacher. You can watch the replay on my @toksaruoture with Alexandra Baldi, the founder of Compass Chelsea.
     
    And if this episode has inspired you, i.e. led you to do some thinking, make some decisions and even better, act on it, get some more inspiration from Youtube.com/Toksaruoture
     
    Don't forget to like, share and subscribe to this podcast and, of course, to my YouTube channel.
    35 min
  • Ep #59 The Power of a Non-Negotiable Why
    Everyone talks about going for your dreams, don’t hold back, being resilient, etc. these are well-meaning phrases repeated by motivational gurus, but just how easy is it to go for your dreams? We can all agree resilience is necessary if we are to keep going, but how do we build strength when we get knocked down before we can stand straight up again?
     
    By having a non-negotiable why.
     
    In this episode, I share how having a non-negotiable why can override all the reasons to give up. The power released each time you look at your ‘why’ infuses you with the strength to either begin again or keep going.
     
    As always, I draw examples from my life and Eric Thomas and Lisa Nichols, two well-loved motivational speakers who have generously shared their personal stories over the years.
     
    I hope that by the end of this inspiring episode, you’d have unearthed powerful reasons to produce fruit from the seeds God planted within you.
     
    Announcement:
    I'll be opening up a much-needed programme soon, where I will be working with a few people to transform through a change in their mindset. Send me a DM or email if you'd like to know more.
     
     
    Resources
    Ep #25 Evidence-Based Living
    Eric Thomas
    Lisa Nichols
     
     
    Let's Connect:
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    27 min
  • Ep #58 Taking Ownership of Your Dreams: Embracing the Ugly
    In this Episode, I take you back in time to my early days in business; because the good stuff is always readily available to see. Let's face it, I am more likely to post a link of a press interview that shows me in a good light, than I am if the article said some not so nice things about me. Life, business is hard. This isn't just a cliche but a statement of fact.
     
    But just because it's true does not mean we should embrace the opportunity to quit when it shows up. I have had many of those, some I accepted, others I was able to turn my back on and keep moving.
     
    Is there a  secret to why people press on when they should quit? I think so. But I believe that the secret applies to that individual only; which is why we must take time to listen to what our soul is saying.
     
    Your path is unique and the answers to the challenges you meet are unique to you. Growth is painful, yet it is pain that builds resilience. You need resilience to get up when you fall- and to try again when you fail.
     
    Listen to this inspiring episode and let me know your thoughts!
     
    Resources
    Ep #54: Recognising The Pieces of Your Dreams
     
    Amazing Massage:
    Saeng Jan Thai Spa
    http://saengjanthaispa.co.uk
     
     
    Let's Connect:
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    29 min
  • Ep #57 Taking Ownership: The Key to Navigating Your Path

    In this episode, I share my thoughts on taking ownership of three areas of your life that can place you in the driving seat of your life. 

    No one likes pain and disappointments; no one wants to be the bearer of mistakes. If we could choose, I’m sure we’d choose the good, the pleasant all the time, or at least more often than we currently experience it.  I believe life is a balance between pleasant and unpleasant, easy and difficult, predictable and surprising. And balance does not mean equal parts; it simply means we swing from one end to the other and find ourselves somewhere between both extremes.  

    Being able to embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly in our lives is a skill we must develop to direct the course of our lives.  

    Ow Your Mistakes

    If you can take responsibility and not shift blame or look for anyone or circumstance to blame, you will have mastery over the trajectory of your life. Because fault gives power to the thing you are according it.

    Own Your Emotions

    Our environments or circumstances feed our thoughts, and thoughts spark emotions, while emotions lead to actions which create the environment that provides our thoughts. So if you do not own your feelings, you don’t own the circumstances you find yourself in, which means you cannot actively change them. You will remain in a cycle of trial and error, hope and disappointment.  

    Own Your Results

    It follows from the previous point that by owning your environment, which feeds your thoughts and ultimately leads you to take action, you are responsible for the results of your effort. A faultfinder sees the challenges and blames them, while one who takes ownership recognises them and carries on despite them.   The joy of owning your environment and your life- the good, the bad and the ugly means you are on the right side of the soil. You are here, in our beautiful, though the fallen world. It’s all yours to utilise and enjoy.  

    Connect

    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at www.toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

    27 min
  • Ep #56: Recognising the Lessons that Show Up on Your Path
    Years ago, I learned to stop searching for the exit door whenever I found myself in a dark place. I considered the possibility of there being a lesson, a hidden gem and I was supposed to find it. I believe every challenge comes to teach us something, and we will learn the lesson when we stop running and start seeking.
     
    In this episode, I share the mindsets to adopt when going through the fire to come away wiser so you do not waste the trial. I use the promise God gave to Abraham that everywhere the soles of his feet shall tread upon belonged to him. The land had healthy trees that bore delicious fruit; it flowed with milk and honey and thorns and thistles, as is the case with all land. But it all belonged to Abraham to do what he wanted with it.
     
    Have a mindset of ownership- understand that the entirety of your life is yours, including the ugly and the bad. This mindset allows you to embrace and use the challenge as a tool and not see it as a burden you have to escape from
  • Pray for progress, not relief- it is possible to use the pain as payment for a future gain. Instead of seeking relief, allow the pain to be your investment for the wisdom and liberation that you'll later receive.
  • Is not life more than food? You are made up of many layers and facets. Don't exalt this momentary trouble to a god-like status and worship it. There is so much more to you than this minuscule situation.
  • Employ both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation- There will be times you cannot sufficiently move yourself into action; in those moments, look around you ad use whatever you find as a tool to motivate you. It is your land, after all.
    Resources:
    Evolving through pain: Episode #45 Living Inside Out
    Le Shuttle
    Matthew 6:25: Is not life more than food?
    “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?
     
    Chelsea in Bloom 23rd - 28th May
     
    Connect
    Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
    29 min

About Living Inside Out with Toks

From the publisher's feed

Embracing mindset changes through life, business and faith.