Br. David Vryhof

James 1:2-6

Many people, perhaps most people, imagine that monastics live quiet, fairly uneventful lives. They might assume that we don’t have to deal with the daily upheavals that life in a marriage or in a family with children can bring, or with the challenges of working to earn a living. They might imagine that we have hours of leisure to pray and to read and to contemplate the mysteries of life. Life goes along pretty smoothly in a monastery, they think, and it must be nice to live in a community of like-minded individuals who are committed to loving God and to loving and supporting one another. “How I wish I had your life,” they sometimes say.

But there can be plenty of upheaval in a monastic’s life. There can be times when the community is not in agreement and one has to accept a decision that he did not favor. There may be things a brother wants to do but is not given permission to do, or things he’d rather not do that he is asked to do. There are times when the community faces particular challenges around its buildings, its finances, its ministries, or its members. There can be sticky pastoral situations. Perhaps the most painful times are those when a brother leaves the community, for whatever reason. We may have grown to love that brother and now feel the pain of his absence in much the same way as when couples separate or divorce.

Believe me, I’ve experienced countless “ups and downs” in my forty years of monastic life. Life in a religious community brings any number of challenges.

How do we navigate the “changes and chances” of life? One way is through maintaining equanimity.

Equanimity is a state of calmness, mental composure, and stability, even in the midst of stress, adversity, or strong emotions. Maintaining mental composure allows us to make clear-minded responses to the changing circumstances of life, rather than merely reacting to our thoughts and emotions in the moment. Equanimity is cultivated control and, like mindfulness and meditation, it involves accepting situations as they are, focusing on what we can control, and maintaining our inner balance. It’s a skill that builds emotional resilience, not by suppressing feelings but by observing them objectively with a steady mind. Equanimity is a skill taught by other religions, such as Buddhism, and practiced by non-religious people as well.

In its monastic context (and especially in Eastern Orthodox monasticism), equanimity is often linked to concepts like apatheia (i.e., liberation from unruly passions such as anger, lust, jealousy, and fear) and hesychia (the inner stillness and quietude that results from apatheia).

How do we come to a state of equanimity? How do we develop an inner stillness, an unshakable calmness, in the midst of the upheavals and turmoil of daily life?

I can only share some of the things that have helped me.

The first and most obvious help is prayer. In prayer, we slow down so that we can observe our thoughts and feelings in the light of God’s Word and God’s presence. In prayer, we assume a posture of listening and discern which of the choices before us is best. In prayer, we come to know God more intimately and are transformed into God’s likeness. We need times of solitude and silence to pray like this, but we can also “center” ourselves during the day, especially if we’re feeling tossed about by life, by taking a moment to slow down and breathe and remember that God is.

A second help is detachment. Much of the world clamors after wealth, power, popularity and success. Through non-attachment, we can find freedom from being defined or controlled by what is temporary and worldly. When we are detached from the pursuit of wealth or popularity or success, we can view our circumstances as passing phenomena. We are no longer controlled by our needs or desires and can be more objective.

A third help is spiritual struggle. Monks actively fight against evil thoughts and attachments. They recognize that true equanimity is not passive but an active, disciplined state achieved through effort. This is where ascetic practices such as fasting or vigils can be helpful in disciplining our unruly wills. There is struggle involved in achieving equanimity.

A fourth help for me has been in reciting mantras throughout the day. A simple mantra such as “For God alone my soul in silence waits; from him comes my salvation” (Psalm 42:1) or simply “For God Alone” can help keep us centered on God as we go about our daily routines.

In Johannine spirituality, we call this “abiding.” To abide in Christ includes and goes beyond equanimity in that abiding calls us to believe in God, to trust God’s words, and to unite ourselves with God’s vision and God’s purposes in the world. John tells us that we are joined to Christ as a vine is joined to the branch (John 15:1-11). When we live in union with Christ, his life flows through us, bringing love, joy and peace, patience and humility. We trust in God’s ability to keep us day by day, and we let go of anxiety and worry, anger and resentment, jealousy and rage – so that we may live in peace, no matter what is happening to us or around us. All these help us live in equanimity.

Monastic equanimity differs from secular equanimity in that it is rooted in a personal relationship with God. Its goal is not just to master oneself, but to become more and more like God. It is about finding stability and peace in God, not just in oneself.

Abiding in Christ helps us to maintain equanimity, to be steady even in the midst of turmoil, so that we may live without fear or worry, and dwell in the freedom and peace God intends for us. That is our aspiration as monks.