Is it just us or is the whole world looking for the next South Dublin coffee house? Well you won't find it here. We've got cheesy chips, curry chips, and Stephen Bradley, who wasn't bad at chips in his day. As Bradley's team gets ready for the ex British colony of Malta and their high temperatures, we narrowly avoid an international incident of the Kay Burley variety, when talking with Gianluca Lia of the Maltese sporting press. He tells us about the weird impact Irish refereeing is having on the upcoming Rovers v Hibernian tie. We also have a cameo from Tim Clancy on the transfer window while there's cats and dogs in the mailbag, cryogenically frozen actors, the entire first division team narratives, and not a falcon in sight. So, with thanks to Future Ticketing, Porterhouse Brew, Malone Financial Services and Collar and Cuff, this really is the stuff that dreams are made of.