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I was at a meeting recently where we read “To Employers” from the Big Book, and the biggest thing that hit me was a reminder how hard it must have been to try to get sober and keep your job in 1940, or 1950, or 1960, or 1970… basically for most of the time that 12-step recovery has existed.
That part of the book is really good and helpful, and I bet it played a part in the evolution of the way work places treat alcoholics and addicts. It’s written really well, and it’s written well ahead of its time when it describes the alcoholic and how to interact with an alcoholic. But it was written 80 years ago, and the world was so different then.
I’ve been sober since 2008, and even in that time span of 14-plus years, I’ve seen huge changes. So it made me realize that I don’t think that there has never been a better time to get sober than 2023. That might sound like a wild thing to say, but here are six reasons why I think it is true.
—1. Employment
After we read that passage the other night, people shared about some of the laws that have been passed over the years that give legal protection to employees. That’s certainly come a longgg way since 1940, and I’d say legal protection has increased pretty dramatically just since 2008, when I got sober.
And setting aside actual legislation, I also think most companies have become more human about addiction. I do hear from time to time about certain employers that maybe cling to the old thinking of “Go to rehab this weekend and we’ll see you on Monday.” But not many. So that’s great.
—2. Societal understanding
I feel especially strong about this one. I think the concept of mental health is more embraced than ever, even from just a few years ago. So addiction empathy was bound to increase, too.
When I came into the rooms in 2008, awareness about the opioid crisis was just starting to explode. As I have written before, I was an active participant in the opioid crisis at its peak in the early to mid 2000s. And I can say that from about 2005-2015, I felt a specific spike in people learning about the dangers of pills, which then helped them better understand alcoholism, too.
And sadly, I felt like in my own life, I noticed more and more people who had someone in their lives who had developed an opioid problem. For whatever reason, with opioids, the idea that this is a disease that digs deep into people and requires treatment seemed to have sunk in a little better than alcohol. So I watched as some of the hardline “just stop, get your crap together and stop drinking” people saw the reality of addiction and gained a better understanding that addiction—any kind of addiction—isn’t as simple as poor willpower or a lack of morals.
—3. The cell phone
You could argue that with cell phones, buying and using drugs and alcohol has never been easier. Same with legalization of marijuana and gambling—it’s never been easier to ruin your life in the palm of your hand.
But I would also argue that I couldn’t imagine getting sober in 1945 and having anything close to the network that I have now if I could only call people if they were at their house near a rotary phone and I was at my house near a rotary phone, and they weren’t outside churning butter or playing bluegrass music or whatever people did back then.
I guess things got slightly better a few decades later when the answering machine was invented. But boy do I take for granted the idea that I could call 25 people today, leave them a voicemail or text them from wherever on earth that I am. In that context, I think the concept of sober connection is maybe the biggest improvement on earth.
That makes it even sillier then that sometimes my phone weighs 400 pounds and I cannot pick it up out of my back pocket…
—4. The inter-webs
I wrote last month about how much I have come around on Zoom meetings. Early on in the pandemic, I whined because they weren’t quite the same as in-person meetings. And they’re not, at least for me. I think my exchange rate right now is about 1.5 Zoom meetings equals 1 in-person meeting. So I am someone who needs about 4 in-person meetings a week, which translates to about 6 Zoom meetings. I usually end up doing about 5 meetings a week, three in-person and two on Zoom.
But holy crap, isn’t it nice that Zoom meetings exist? You can find one at any time of night or day any more, and then be logged on from your couch in 10 seconds. You can turn your camera off and sit there in your underwear if you want. I tried that at an in-person meeting recently and was asked to leave!
And beyond Zoom meetings, you can also email the Big Book to someone in five seconds. You can have sober literature at your fingertips immediately. Need meeting? You can find one in less than 30 seconds, and they usually give you directions to the meeting with one more click! If you’re looking for a specific topic, such as how to work through a resentment, you can search within sober literature and find some suggestions. In 1950, you could have to have the actual book, and then read it—who wants to do THAT?
—5. Help is all around
I had some nervousness putting this on the list because in my experience, BAD help is more available than ever, too. But there are more treatment facilities and more treatment specialists than ever, and I believe that means there are more GOOD places to go and people to see than ever before. I also happen to know several recovering people who put together 10-plus years of sobriety themselves and then got into the treatment field themselves, and that’s also a combination that wasn’t possible in 1940 or 1950 or even 1960. My guess is, that is something that has mostly come about in the last 30 years or so. I will say that at my rehab, out of the five people I dealt with, the counselor that I connected the most with was a woman who had 15 years of sobriety herself. I thought it helped to have a fellow addict talking to me.
—6. Aid for loved ones
Along the same lines, I think there is a better understanding than ever that addiction can be a family disease. So there are more Al-Anon meetings than ever, and programs like Al-Anon for loved ones of addicts. And I think there is a better understanding today than years ago from mental health professionals—psychiatrists, psychologists, marriage therapists and so on—about the impact and treatment possibilities when addiction is in the picture. I can’t proclaim to have been married and gone to a therapist with my wife in 1980, but my guess is that would have been a different kind of conversation back then.
OK, now that I put that list together, I need to sound like an excited pyramid scheme salesperson for a minute because I am feeling quite grateful. It really hit me hard the gift that today might be the greatest day in human history to try to get sober. There’s a case to be made that March 9, 2023, is a better day to find recovery than March 9, 1940, and March 9, 1950, and so on. And there’s a case to be made that March 9, 2023, is a better time to get sober than March 9, 2010, or March 9, 2020, or even March 5, 2023.
Wow, that an epiphany, and what a time to be alive. Of course, I wrote this entire thing myself with no editing or consultation with anybody, so the whole thing might be a bunch of b******t?!?!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
HEARD AT MEETINGS....
"I came to AA because of back problems—my wife was on my back, my boss was on my back, my creditors were on my back…"
(Credit: AA Grapevine, December 2005, by William L. of Asheville, NC)
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