A few of our clients have asked us lately, "Will my ex come back? How do I know if my breakup is permanent? How do I know if I have a chance to turn things around? Will my ex come back?"
The first point to highlight to answer the question, "Will my ex come back?" is people have had to accept the fact that their breakup was permanent because they were unable to rebuild a communication platform. And, if you are unable to re-establish contact with your ex after having done the work and after having exhausted all possible means to reestablish contact, then it's best for you to move on, It's best for you to accept the fact that this was a learning opportunity for you and that this is not ultimately the person that you can build a common life project with. And sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's a reality check, but it usually means that better things are to come for, you just don't know it yet, and that this person was preparing you for the next best relationship that is going to completely change your life.
The second point to answer the question, "Will my ex come back?" is if either you or your ex are unable to evolve and to grow following the breakup. It's a very important point because most of the people that are unsuccessful are unsuccessful because they fail to grow. They fail to truly understand what went wrong and turn into a better version of themselves. They're just desperately clinging on to their partner or to their relationship. They are overcome by the fear of loss. And you tend to obsess over the outcome and not the process that needs to happen in order to get the desired outcome. In some cases, it is true that some clients are able to evolve and to grow and approach the break-up process in the right way, and still don't get their ex back because their ex hasn't evolved and grown. They're stuck in a failed relationship, they have not been able to challenge themselves to grow to learn from their shortcomings because your ex is partly to blame, too - for the failed relationship.
The third factor to answer, "Will my ex come back?" is if you don't think that you have what it takes to inspire your ex. So people who don't have the belief in themselves ultimately end up making the breakup permanent because they just don't have what it takes. If you don't have the right mindset, it is very difficult to win an ex back because it's a difficult process. And so, yes, you need that confidence, you need that swagger, you need that belief, in order for your actions to materialize into a new and improved relationship. Sometimes, breakups are permanent and it's not the worst thing in the world, as long as you learn, and as long as you grow. So if you find yourself in one of these situations, you may need to let go and to move on. And that'll be okay - and we're here for you. And it's probably very scary, but life will go on and you will bounce back and you will ultimately figure things out because everyone is worthy of being loved.
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