Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

When you get married or commit yourself to a long-term relationship, you're signing on to support each other through thick and thin. If you're fortunate, most of the time things are okay: the sun shines and you live in the benevolence of the universe. But not always. Unexpected job loss, a death in the family, serious illness or infertility— these are only some of the common issues that many (most? all?) couples are going to face together at some point or another. These can be particularly challenging to cope with during the holiday season. So, today on the show, we're going there and talking about how to negotiate these hard times successfully, as a couple. Master marriage counselor, couples therapist, and relationship coach Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT will be sharing her best relationship advice to help you both have greater empathy and compassion for each other when the chips are down. She'll be discussing communication strategies you can use to stay connected through hard times, and also some tips for how to support each other as individuals around things like illness, grief, and death, and infertility. A master career coach is also sharing her best tips for how to cope with the stress of a layoff or job loss and stay connected with your partner as you go through it.  We hope that this discussion helps you find your way through this hard time together. Yours sincerely, Lisa Marie Bobby   www.growingself.com

Your Holidays Will Be Good When Your Boundaries Are. In case you hadn't noticed the towering pumpkin displays in the grocery store, the catalogues and coupons clogging your mailbox, or the tinsel-spangled interiors of every store you dare step foot in... the holidays are upon us. The holidays can be so amazing: Its the time to expand our souls, embrace generosity and good will, enjoy the warmth of our families and friends, and be grateful for the wonderful relationships in our lives. And... as you well know, holidays can also be fraught with stress, overwhelm, overspending, and tense moments with family members. In my experience as both a marriage counselor and therapist (as well as personally) the "dark side" of the holiday experience often happens when people struggle to hold healthy boundaries. The Usual Suspects:

• Too Soft: When people are too passive and boundary-less they often wind up feeling put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by family members (or partners!) -- and resentments brew. Not fun, particularly when suppressed seething bubbles over in passive aggressive comments, or bursts out in straight up hostility.
• Too Hard: When people are too rigid with their boundaries, friends and family members may feel put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by them -- and tempers flare. It's not fun to feel like people are irritated and put off by you, and have no idea why.
• Unclear: When people struggle to hold healthy boundaries with themselves, they overcommit time and energy, have unrealistic expectations of themselves and overspend -- leaving themselves feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally (and financially) depleted by the time New Year's rolls around. Not fun at all.

Because these kinds of boundary problems are so common (and so darn avoidable, with advance planning) I thought I'd put together some holiday-specific boundary advice on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I'm sharing some tools to help you get your boundaries "just right," and enjoy yourself this year.  I sincerely hope that it helps you avoid the pitfalls and enhance all the wonderful moments that the month ahead has to offer. From me to you, Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com Music Credits: Ty Segall, "Ceasar"

For those of you so deeply affected by the latest crazy-making experience in your toxic workplace that you're almost too stunned to type... For those of you sitting at your desk, cradling your head in your hands... For those of you frantically searching co-workers’ faces for clues, wondering if you’re the only one noticing the madness... This podcast is for you. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by expert career and executive coach. She's sharing her best career advice for how to tell if your workplace is toxic, and if so, how to survive... and ultimately move on victoriously. Links to the resources we discussed here: https://www.growingself.com/toxic-workplace-career-advice All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

In our hectic, demanding lives, it's easy to lose sight of ourselves: Who we are, how we feel and what we need. Even more challenging can be figuring out how to assert all-of-the-above in our relationships with others. This is particularly true if you've been existing in a toxic relationshipor codependent relationship, or navigating the aftermath of a bad breakup. In the midst of stressful circumstances, attaining empowerment can seem out of reach — especially when you've been focused outwards rather than within.   Attaining Empowerment On today's show my colleague, therapist and life coach Teena Evert and I are talking about many of the "pieces" involved with cultivating personal empowerment, including:

• Mindful self-awareness
• Building self-loveand self-compassion
• Why building a sustainable self-care routineis key to maintaining your solid foundation
• How stress can impact your empowerment
• The need to create balance by staying aware of your feelings
• How to be assertive and set boundaries in relationships... while also being flexible
• Trusting yourself
• How to ask for what you need... while also having compassion and empathy for people you love
• Developing a sense of self worth that is independent of external validation
• How to not give your power away, blame others, or lose yourself in relationships
• How to not fear your own power

I hope our conversation gives you insight into how to begin cultivating empowerment in your life. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com PS: We discussed a number of resources on the show today. Find links to them here: https://www.growingself.com/self-empowerment

Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You're not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the "dating" part is not that hard. You put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you're going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal. What IS the biggest deal, and what our dating coaching clients really struggle with, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and who they've started seeing regularly. That's when all the questions come up. Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We'll discuss:

• How to manage new relationship anxiety
• The stages of a new relationship
• New relationship questions
• When to bring up topics like dating exclusively, or how you really feel
• Things to look for that indicate red flags and / or compatibility
• When you should move forward dating someone with a history of depression or other issues (and when to fold 'em).
• What to do when someone you like hasn't called or texted in a while, or gives other signals that they might not be that into you
• How to put self-love and self-worth front and center of all new dating relationships
• How to move a new relationship forward without "scaring someone off"

All that, and more, on the podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com PS: Resources we discussed on the show: The How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz, and How to Cultivate Healthy Self-Love PPS: Do YOU have questions for me? Dating questions, or otherwise? Leave them in the comments: I read every one! :)

Your relationship with your parents is one of the most formative — and sometimes most complicated — relationships of your adult life. Even if you're well into your 30s or 40s, the dynamics you grew up with don't just disappear. And whether your parents are critical and hurtful, overly involved, struggling with their own issues, or simply not the people you wish they had been — navigating all of that as an adult takes real work. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm walking through the most common parent-related challenges I hear about from clients and listeners, and what you can actually do about them. We'll cover: The natural developmental arc of the parent-child relationship and what it looks like when it gets stuck What to do when your parents are critical, hurtful, or emotionally unsafe — and how to stop personalizing their behavior How to handle parents who are loving but overly involved, and what to do when that dynamic is straining your relationship with your partner What it means when your parent has become emotionally or financially dependent on you, and how to begin shifting that dynamic How to work through resentment, grief, and unfinished business from your childhood Why family therapy with a parent as an adult can be surprisingly powerful How setting healthier boundaries with your parents can actually help them grow too This one is for anyone who has ever loved their parents and also found them incredibly hard to deal with. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

I get so many breakup questions on our GrowingSelf.com blog and through Facebook from broken-hearted people looking for breakup recovery advice. More than anything, they want to know how to get over a breakup. They have questions like: "How long does it take to get over a breakup?" "How do you get over a breakup when you live together" "How to stop thinking about your Ex?" "How to get over a bad breakup?" As you know if you've ever listened to my podcast, I have a special place in my heart for people who are in the midst of a bad breakup, and I really want to help. (You can read my own horrible breakup story here.) I thought that, instead of trying to answer so many specific breakup questions, it might be more helpful to everyone to learn more about the stages of a breakup. My hope is that in learning about the stages of a breakup, you can identify where you are in this process and get some direction for how to move past your breakup. I also hope that learning about the stages of a breakup will provide you with guidance about how to move forward after a breakup, no matter what stage of breakup you're currently in. I'll be sharing tips on how to move through each stage of a breakup on today's show. I hope that this breakup advice, and the breakup success stories I share help you find your way forward too. Yours in healing,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Break up or stay together? Who hasn't wondered the same, during a seriously difficult time in their relationship? Or, entertained an even bigger question: Should you try to save a relationship? How hard should you work? Especially a relationship that has been feeling really hard and unsatisfying for a long time? How do you know when it's time to call it quits?   Because deciding whether to break up or stay together is such a hard decision, we have many questions come through from clients, listeners of our podcast, and readers of our blog wanting help in deciding if their relationship can be saved, or if it's time to throw in the towel. They want to know things like:

• "How long should it take to see improvement in my relationship?"
• "In my heart, I don't want to be married to this person anymore. Will it ever come back?"
• "Is what I'm seeing solvable, or is this a sign we should break up?"
• "Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or can you have a good relationship after infidelity?"
• "I'm not being treated well by my boyfriend. Can this change?"
• "How do I know if I've tried hard enough to save my relationship?"

If you've been going through a hard time in your relationship that has led you to have doubts, I hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast can help shed some light on signs that it's time to break up, or whether your relationship can be saved. Sincerely, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. We discussed a number of resources on this show. Here's where to find the links to all of them: https://bit.ly/2Pga85B

How to Create The Career and Life You Want The fall season is nearly upon us, and with it comes fresh, transformational energy. If you're like many people showing up at Growing Self for life coaching, career coaching or therapy right now, it's because this is the time of year to let go of the old, get re-aquainted with yourself, and design new goals for the next chapter of your life. To support you in your quest for personal evolution, life coach and career coach will be sharing her advice for how to move forward fearlessly in your career, your life and your relationships. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about:

• How to organize your life around what brings you the most energy and fulfillment
• Identifying the self limiting beliefs that may be holding you back
• Avoiding the common, self-sabotaging traps of perfectionism and negative self-talk
• Resources to help you to get clear about your values and your goals
• Key skills to making good decisions about where to go next with your life
• How to transform your personal and professional relationships

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Miscarriage or infertility can be very hard to talk about, and the lack of support for women and couples going through it can make it even harder to know where to go for help. For this reason, I've invited Growing Self marriage counselor, therapist, women's health and fertility expert Sonya J to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We're talking about:

• What women who are grieving after pregnancy loss need from their partners, family and friends.
• How the healthcare system fails to support the emotional needs of women and couples going through the experience of miscarriage or infertility.
• How couples are impacted by infertility and pregnancy loss, and how they can support each other through it.
• How couples can protect their sexual relationship as they are dealing with infertility.
• The difference between simple and complex grief, and how to heal emotionally after a loss.

If you've been dealing with this extremely difficult life experience, we hope that you join us and listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Sincerely, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC www.growingself.com